His public outbursts were becoming common knowledge among even the lowest ranking soldiers in the First Order. Until now, hearing the whispered remarks made behind his back and seeing the uneasy glances sent his way when he was deemed too preoccupied to notice, Kylo Ren had never given much thought to just how often fear of Supreme Leader Snoke had kept anyone from taking action against his volatile apprentice. Danger lay in every sideways glance, in every slight hesitation before his orders were carried out. No mutiny had yet been instigated, though Kylo knew it was only a matter of time.
Tension among the First Order had never been higher. But neither had the cost of failure. If he failed now, if he allowed Snoke's constant beratings to drive him further over the edge of insanity, he would be left with little power and authority with which to keep Rey safe.
For now, Kylo could only hope that fear of his unpredictable temper and ignorance of the Force would keep anyone from striking out. If assassination attempts were made, he would, in turn, make an example of the instigators, leaving their mangled corpses to rot for all to view.
A full-blown mutiny, on the other hand, would be impossible to combat. And no one under Kylo Ren's command knew that better than General Hux. It was possible the general had a sixth sense for he always seemed to know when Kylo was going against his precious protocol. If murdering the former Supreme Leader and allowing the First Order's greatest enemy to roam free wasn't a breach in protocol, then nothing was.
Standing near the far wall, as close as he could get to the doorway without appearing conspicuous, the new Supreme Leader did his best to keep every possible suspect within eyesight. Abandoning the head chair normally reserved for Snoke - for himself now, he mentally corrected - had been a gamble. A few of the head officers had shifted on their feet, poorly hiding their displeasure at the sudden change in tradition. But as long as Kylo paced every now and again, his officers merely assumed his restless energy to be the cause for his blatant disregard for their sense of normalcy.
So far, the day's meeting had run smoothly. Though news of Snoke's death had traveled quickly throughout the galaxy, the majority of the First Order's power remained intact. A few planets on the Outer Rim had jumped ship, preferring to side with the slowly budding Resistance rather than keep their lowly status within the First Order's list of assets. A few thousand, poorly trained soldiers had been lost with those planets' defection to the Resistance - a number so slight that Kylo Ren would hardly lose sleep over their betrayal.
Betrayal: The one word that summed up his entire existence.
"Any loss of power is unacceptable." Unwittingly, a chill ran down Kylo's spine at the words. Stubbornness rose within him and he refused to turn and confront his master. Not now. Not in front of everyone. Not again.
"Any word on the Resistance fighters?" He asked instead, keeping his voice as monotonous as possible. Please say "no". Tell me you have not found her.
Silence met his question. Silence is good, it means they have not discovered her location.
"You would trade the safety of one weak-minded girl for the entirety of the power you ought to be embodying." Snoke scoffed from behind Kylo's back. "What purpose did you slay me for, fool boy? Surely you have grander plans than running away from the meager numbers of your enemy."
At his sides, Kylo's gloved hands formed tightly-balled fists. His anger was evident to the officers assembled. Kylo bit back the laughter that bubbled up inside his throat at the relief he felt that only his deceased master knew the true reason behind his anger. How ironic his circumstances had become.
"Then perhaps," he ground out, barely keeping his conflicting emotions in check long enough to form the necessary words, "our resources would be better spent elsewhere."
"Is it wise to give up our pursuit so soon, Supreme Leader?" General Hux questioned, staring intently at the holomap projected above the conference table. As usual, there was no blatant tone of disrespect evident in the general's words. Still, Kylo had spent enough time around the man to know when he was displeased.
"We are not 'giving up,' General," Kylo responded, frustration cloaking his words. "We simply have far more important matters to attend to besides a small band of rebel fighters."
"You're running away from an untrained girl without a lightsaber? Pathetic." His master's words slithered into his mind, unraveling the thin stitches of power Kylo had recently used to hold himself together.
"I am not running!" The words tore from his throat faster than he could think. With only a small tug of resistance, the remaining stitches of power disintegrated, leaving his mind wholly undefended.
Movement on his left caught Kylo's attention. "Sir," one of the senior Bridge officers began. The officer's comment never made itself known as the man's neck audibly snapped from the sudden, suffocating pressure that swung the officer's head to the side, leaving his body facing forward.
Darkness flooded Kylo's vision. Heat flickered around the corners of his injured mind, greedily lapping up his remaining strength. The Force might hold an uncountable amount of power that could never hoped to be drained, but even the most powerful Force users reached their limits.
And this is my limit. His mind was a decrepit thing now. Where once he had been filled with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he now felt hollow: Knowing both far too much and far too little about the mysterious ways of the Force.
There had been a time where he would have done anything - had done anything - for the tiniest portion of an answer to the questions which haunted him day and night. Why had the Republic crumbled so easily? Did the Jedi of old know that their precious rules were riddled with contradictions? Who could actually judge right from wrong? Was there really such a thing as Light and Dark? Didn't both sides of a coin simply come together to create a coin: Why needlessly separate the two down a divide of 'good' and 'evil'?
None of his questions had ever been favorably received. No matter who he asked, from one side of the spectrum to the other, no one had any of the answers he sought.
Now there were no questions. Now there was only confusion and pain.
So much pain.
"You do realize I can hear every wretched thought of yours, yes?" The echoing, mocking laughter had Kylo Ren reaching for his lightsaber. If Snoke was going to insist on providing commentary during every moment for the rest of Kylo's life, then he was damn sure going to spend the rest of his days hacking that smirk right off his master's face.
His fingers brushed roughly against the cold metal of his lightsaber's handle.
"Maybe you should just cut them all down here and now." The ghostly form of his master inclined his head towards the officers standing in shock around the room, staring at their new leader with a strange mixture of fear and barely disguised loathing.
The darkness in him rose, coiling tightly around his fractured soul. Maybe I should. Everyone is expendable.
"Clear the room!" An authoritative voice from outside his mind ordered, briefly shocking Kylo out of his thoughts. "And someone get rid of the body; I won't have a rotting corpse fouling the meeting room."
As every officer scattered to do as the voice commanded, Kylo remained where he was, still internally debating the benefits of committing mass murder of his own crew. Captain Phasma was the last to leave, unceremoniously dragging the dead officer through the door, most likely to the incineration chambers.
As the door slid closed behind Captain Phasma, Kylo's hand twitched over his lightsaber, mind going blank about what he was supposed to do now that his possible targets had fled the room.
"Is it too much to ask that we go one day without you screaming at the air?" An overly-exaggerated, exasperated sigh reached Kylo's ears and he looked up, surprised to see General Hux still standing there, completely unafraid.
Mind running on fumes, Kylo found that he wasn't quite certain how to respond to the comment.
"Apparently not." The general continued, sparing a quick glance to Kylo's hand still firmly wrapped around the hilt of his lightsaber. "If you were going to kill me, you would have done so already, Ren. Now," the man stepped forward and it took all of Kylo's remaining strength to slightly release his tight grip on his blade, "it's becoming more and more clear that the two of us need to have a conversation, one long overdue."
"Please tell me you're going to at least kill him," Snoke hissed from behind. "All he has ever done is try to undermine you."
Suddenly, doing what Snoke wanted seemed like an incredibly terrible idea. In a bout of stubborness, Kylo released his lightsaber fully, choosing instead to clench his fists together as tightly as possible.
"A conversation about what?" He asked, not bothering to disguise the weariness in his voice. Not a good sign; never show weakness.
General Hux threw him a critical glance. "Where to begin," he muttered.
Kylo was too exhausted to argue.
The general stared at him thoughtfully with a look that on anyone else's face might be considered "pity." "Your unnatural silence, for one thing." Kylo frowned; this was likely to be a long list. "You've always been rather prone to rather, uh, undignified outbursts, but lately your outbursts have been a bit more, how best to put this, psychotic."
I should kill you.
"Yes," the voice whispered in his mind, clearly annoyed, "kill him for that."
"Well it clearly wouldn't just be because of this conversation," Kylo remarked, turning his head slightly to glare to his master's blurry, but still present, form.
"Case in point." The general stated, clearing his throat.
None of this back and forth was bringing a shred of sanity back to Kylo's overtaxed brain. "Why are we having this conversation, exactly?" He asked, turning his attention somewhat back to the general.
"Because you are now the Supreme Leader!" General Hux snapped. Pausing a moment to smooth down his already pristinely straight coat hem, he took a calming breath before continuing. "Though I still have no idea how this transfer of power took place," a nagging feeling grew in Kylo's mind as a flash of memory snapped to life in front of his eyes, "you have a duty to the First Order. One which you will fulfill, even if I have to constantly remind you of your place."
A spike of adrenaline rushed to life inside of Kylo Ren. Adrenaline fueled by fear. But he was not afraid, he was far too tired to be afraid.
"Rey." He whispered softly. A brief image clouded his vision: Rey, her skin lightly tanned so the freckles on her face popped, standing in a fighting stance, staring down some form of enemy. Why does she not have a weapon? He wondered with worry upon glancing the girl up and down, spotting no visible weaponry on her person, not even a hunting knife. Does she have a death wise?
Her brown hair had been tossed up quickly, the loose portions clung to her sweaty skin. She's somewhere hot, then. Possibly a jungle moon. His brain supplied before he remembered that it was dangerous to know her location. As the connection rapidly became more vivid, swallowing the room in front of him, Kylo became distinctly aware of a third presence.
Snoke. He grimaced, quickly pulling his mind away from Rey, though every molecule in his body screamed at him to find a way to help the scavenger. She was afraid. She was in danger. But his prodding would only place her in more danger.
Reluctantly, he reeled his mind back to his own corner of the galaxy.
He groaned in pain as heat laced through his mind. Snoke was not pleased.
"Rey?" A flicker of fear crossed his eyes at her name being spoken aloud by anyone other than him. "Is that the girl who keeps randomly appearing during every semi-important battle we have had with the Resistance lately?" General Hux inquired, a note of interest in his voice.
Okay, now I might have to kill him.
"Wasn't she on board when Supreme Leader Snoke was killed?" He asked, clearly already knowing the answer. "And you were there." The general added, quickly putting the pieces together, though Kylo suspected General Hux had already guessed what had transpired that fateful day. "So somehow, you expect me to believe that this girl - who no one had heard of until a few months ago - took out the Supreme Leader, all of his guards, and yourself, yet for some reason she let you live?"
Kylo's right hand moved instinctively towards his lightsaber.
"That story is terrible for morale." General Hux stated, seemingly unconcerned that he might soon be dead. "Then again, so is telling the story of how you helped the Resistance murder your predecessor."
With a click, Kylo unhooked the lightsaber from his belt. "Which is why," the general continued, eyes widening ever so slightly at the weapon being prepared to strike him down, "we will simply have to come up with a different version of events."
Kylo paused, finger hesitating over the lightsaber's ignition switch. "What? This isn't a setup for a mutiny?"
General Hux scoffed, glancing away from the lightsaber hilt in Kylo's hand. "I may think you a wholly incompetent leader and see little value with having you installed as the current Supreme Leader, Ren, but any uprising at the present time would be unwise. The First Order does not need to suffer any further loses."
Clearing his throat again, the general moved closer to the door, leaving Kylo a wide berth. "Undoubtedly, a mutiny of some kind is coming. But not by my hand. Not yet." He eyed Kylo warily, "I suggest you at least try and act sane until then."
Confusion and pain coursed through Kylo Ren's skull, dampening the ever present rage boiling within him. Has the entire galaxy lost its kriffing mind?