Rey had forgotten how suffocating the darkness on Korriban truly was until it was no longer weakened and partially contained by Ben. Raging heat tore at her connection to the light, threatening to eclipse her brightness entirely.
I have to get off this planet. The soft clicking of her boots striking against the marble floor hardly soothed her as she continued to pace.
Over the past day and a half, it had been a struggle to control her growing fear and frustration: fear brought on by Snoke's ever-present and increasing control over what remained of Ben's mind; frustration that there was little she could do to help.
Anya leaned casually by the open doorway, staring out at the sky aflame with the red light from the setting sun. Ever since Ben had relapsed almost two days ago, Anya had been floating around near Rey wherever she went in the temple. It turned out that having a self-appointed bodyguard did absolutely nothing to dispel any of the suspicion Rey felt towards the Knights.
"How long are you going to stand around instead of helping him?" Rey snapped, unable to keep her frustration bottled up any longer.
The slightly older woman made no move to turn around or even acknowledge Rey's comment.
Rey huffed in annoyance; her frustration was quickly turning into a burning ember of anger at all of the things she couldn't control. All her life, she had been searching for answers: Who was she? Where did she come from? What was her purpose?
Her entire life, she had been looking for someone to depend on, someone who would recognize her value and accept her for who she was. Finally, after years of searching and wondering, she had found someone who, against all logic and in defiance of all odds, actually saw her and was not immediately revolted.
And now he was quite possibly dying.
"Any assistance I now offered would, in all probability, only serve to hasten the complete breakdown of his mind." Anya stated calmly.
Rey paused mid-step, a glimmer of hope lightened deep within her soul. "But he wouldn't die?"
Anya turned then and fixed Rey with a weighted, knowing look in her wise eyes, "There are states of being much worse than death."
"But he wouldn't die?" Rey repeated earnestly. Besides death, she felt confident that anything else could be solved with a bit of time.
"No," Anya said slowly, "he wouldn't die. However, I am not convinced he is dying even now."
"So what are we waiting for?" Rey practically shouted, the driving need to do something threatened to pull her apart at the seams. "If there's something you can do, you have to-"
"Rey," Anya took a step forward, impeding Rey's ability to continue pacing by easily blocking her path. "Contrary to what everyone else in this blasted temple would tell you, you need to think through this logically - in a serene and collected fashion."
There was wisdom in Anya's words, Rey knew, but the emotions swirling through her heart and mind refused to pause long enough to listen.
"If you won't help, then-" Rey thought of the other knights with their potent dark side power and oppressive, intimidating figures. "Then I'll find someone who will."
Approaching one of the much-less morally sound knights and basically demanding assistance was not a solid idea. But, Rey thought, squaring her shoulders, in moments of desperation, we can't be picky about who helps us.
"I did not say that I would withhold my aid!" Anya called out as Rey stormed from the room.
Rey ignored her and continued on her determined path down to the "mess hall" where she knew the Knights often gathered when they were not out on missions.
Expectedly, Anya followed close behind, though she made no further comment about logic, nor did she make any move to halt Rey as she swiftly walked down through the maze of indistinguishable, cavernous hallways towards her destination.
This time, Rey swore to herself, she would not allow the knights to intimidate her. Before the past few weeks, I spent all my life standing up for myself and not giving in to what others wanted. I can do this. I don't need Ben, or anyone else, to protect me.
Even with her self-assurances, her mind felt dull and empty without the familiar, comforting weight of Ben's consciousness perfectly nestled inside of her own.
As much as she hated the mental image of Ben slashing apart his own order of knights, it had been extremely comforting to know that she wouldn't be fighting alone if any of the Dark Jedi rebelled. But now she was alone once again.
Shadows flickered in intensity as she passed by, reacting to her boiling emotions. The fear, as chilling and ominous as the yawning, black caverns she passed, was hers alone. Anger against Snoke burned as bright as Korriban's sun and simmered within her heart, echoed infinitely by the endless supply of dark side energy churning in the core of the planet.
Rey shoved down her growing guilt at giving in to her emotions, telling herself that what she felt was justified: righteous anger drove her, not a thirst for revenge.
Snoke would pay for what he had done, even if Rey had to find a way to bring the smug, manipulative bastard back to life just so she could obliterate him herself. No matter the cost, she would find a way to save Ben Solo.
***
A clamor of strained, argumentative voices reached her ears as she grew closer to the spacious room reserved for mealtimes and gatherings of the knights.
Rey herself had spent little time in the hall, as she had chosen instead to stay cloistered away with Ben in more run-down sections of the desolate temple as he had unpacked the extensive and, oftentimes, obscure feud between the Jedi and the Sith. Yet, even with all of Ben's training and knowledge, there still remained gaps of thousands of years between portions of the history he had imparted to her. In those moments, sitting in the remnants of a Sith temple from a long-forgotten age as the Force flowed passively between them, Rey desperately wished for simpler times where the two of them could freely wander the wide galaxy in search of buried secrets and knowledge so ancient it defied reason itself to still exist.
Instead, she stood warily in the threshold of the dining hall, gathering up all of her courage and relying on all of her emotions to take that first bold step into the dimly-lit room. The overlapping voices hushed the second her feet stepped into the room.
"And so the apprentice comes out of hiding at long last." Rey refused to allow her courage to falter as Damien fixed her with a haughty glare.
At this point, Rey thought resignedly, it makes more sense to just go along with the whole "apprentice" bit rather than explain that I'm...that we're…
In truth, she had no idea what label to use to define her relationship with Ben. They had begun as enemies, then turned into hesitant allies, then returned to being enemies, then back to allies, then to friends. However, she doubted the knights would respond well to her clarifying that Ben was not her master, simply her friend.
And yet, he was so much more than a friend.
Finn was a friend. Poe was a friend. Rose was a friend.
Ben was...something else entirely.
Snapping her mind back to focus on her present circumstances, Rey scanned the room in an effort to decide which of the knights would be best to approach for help.
Damien set her on edge: his cold, violent tendencies made Ben's fits of rage appear tame in comparison. Plus, the man reminded Rey far too much of some of the scummier junk traders on Jakku who had thought her weak and defenseless, who had seen her as the perfect prey. She had proven each and every one of those traders wrong by breaking their bones whenever they had tried to come near her; she would not hesitate to do the same to this giant, powerful man now glaring down at her from across the room.
Seire unnerved her in a different manner. The man was sly and cunning, yet charismatic and soft-spoken. Rey didn't trust him one bit. After all, jealousy was a strong motivation and Rey figured the man wouldn't hesitate to strike her down if he thought it would make him Kylo Ren's apprentice. Thankfully, Seire wasn't even present in the room - just one fewer knight she had to worry about at the moment.
Nimick - whom Rey had only met once before, but whom she often glanced wandering rather aimlessly around the temple - was not a logical choice. From the little Rey knew of the blue-skinned Twi'lek, it was clear that he was more of a silent and deadly fighter - a hunter trained in the art of stealth and secrecy who was capable of sneaking in virtually anywhere to commit assassinations - rather than a person who could be relied upon to help her defeat Snoke. If she ever wanted someone killed with no trace left behind, she would go to Nimick without a second's hesitation, but his Force presence was not nearly strong enough to aid in her task.
Rey continued flicking her eyes from one knight to the next, eventually coming to the edge of the room where a woman with skin the color of blood stood watching Rey with an amused twitch on her thin, black lips. Rey knew better than to be thrown by Bryn's charming flash of brilliantly-white teeth: the woman had skin like a chameleon and a personality that was just as diverse - she could appear virtually however she desired in order to fit her environment.
For the first time, it struck Rey just how neatly put-together the Knights of Ren were - it was almost as if each member had been specially picked in order to fill an assigned role. Damien had brute strength and a cunning mind; Serie was a political mastermind who utilized every speck of Force-persuasion necessary to achieve his goals; Nimick had the silent, deadly accuracy of a bounty hunter and cold, almost robotic emotions that could only be formed through long years of emotional suppression; Bryn routinely shed her skin, seduced new targets to gain information, and then ran them through with her lightsaber, all with a sincere smile gracing her face.
Rey hadn't yet decided how she felt about Tahl. For reasons she had not fully parsed out, the silver-haired man held a measure of authority over the rest of the knights. Unlike Serie, Tahl wasn't overly charismatic, nor was he strikingly intimidating like Damien, but neither did he posses the calm confidence of Anya.
Anya, Rey was figuring out more and more, absolutely did not belong in the order of knights. Whereas each of the knights bent the Force to their own will in some fashion or another, Anya was content to allow the Force to move as it willed and drew on it for peace, not violence. In comparison, Rey felt her own connection to the Light lacking and her own emotions in utter turmoil. Anya was a clear picture of what a Jedi ought to be: tender and gentle when the situation called for it, tough and unyielding when faced with opposition; peace and justice flowed through her veins in perfect sychnocity with the Force.
"Did you require assistance with some matter, Padawan?" Rey jumped slightly in response to the unexpected, vibrant voice of Tahl coming from directly behind her.
Tahl was dressed all in black, causing him to blend in with the shadows cast by minimal overhead lighting. Black was the color all of the knights wore, though their outfits varied as drastically as their personalities: ranging from tactical battle gear to the more traditional robes. With their hues of grey and blue, Rey and Anya noticeably stuck out.
Yes, Rey longed to say but the word stuck in her throat. "What are you doing here?" The question slipped out before she had a chance to control her ever-present concern.
"Don't worry," Tahl replied softly. Gesturing slightly to Bryn, he continued, "We're just switching up the guard - no one is going to harm your master. If there's one thing we're good at, it's keeping Kylo Ren alive."
Alive is good, Rey reassured her shaken nerves. As much as she wanted to argue that the knights clearly had not been doing their job because Snoke was still tormenting Ben, she couldn't refute the fact that he was still alive. Though he was anything but well.
"If you're so worried," Bryn whispered as she swept past, "then you can take the next watch." The way the multi-colored woman winked knowingly at her on her way past set Rey on edge. It's not - My feelings, they're not - obvious, right?
"Do you have a specific reason for being here?" The hostility in Damien's tone did not go unnoticed by Rey and, she suspected, everyone else in the room.
Anger coiled within her, demanding to be released. How dare this man question her right to be anywhere -
"I'm certain she's here for the same reason we all are," Tahl commented, smoothly covering for Rey's momentary loss of emotional control.
"And what is that reason?" Nimick spoke up quietly from his place a few paces away from the gathering.
"To discuss Serie's most recent report concerning the Resistance."
The Resistance? All of Rey's anger dissipated in a flash as confusion clouded her mind. What do they know about the Resistance? She longed to cast a glance in Anya's direction to gauge what the woman knew about this startling information, but recognized that giving away their connection to the Resistance would likely be unwise.
"Serie has confirmed the exact number of Resistance fighters currently located on Dxun's surface," Tahl quickly crossed to the middle of the room and activated a small holomap that clearly portrayed the area surrounding the Resistance's base. "Seven-hundred-eighteen soldiers currently reside on the surface. Another thousand are stationed in shuttles orbiting the planet, and a few thousand more are down on Onderon awaiting orders. Of course, this information does not include the exact whereabouts of the Resistance's allies on other planets in the Outer Rim."
This is not good. Rey was rooted to the spot, unable to move closer to better inspect the holomap, yet unable to tear herself away from the meeting in order to warn her friends.
"What are we going to do with this information?" Nimick questioned, wiping down the barrel of a particularly dangerous-looking blaster.
"Kill them all, of course." Damien's hand was already clasped tightly around the thick metal of his lightsaber in eager preparation for the upcoming battle.
"Is that a wise course of action given our meager numbers?" Anya interjected from her position a few steps behind Rey.
"You think a couple thousand soldiers are any match for the Knights of Ren?"
If the circumstances weren't as dire, Rey would rolled her eyes at Damien's haughty comment. She knew precisely what the Resistance was capable of and she had no doubt that, given adequate time to prepare, the Resistance could take down a few Dark Jedi. But the circumstances were indeed dire. Unless she could figure out a way to send a message ahead of the strike force, the Resistance would be caught completely unprepared to fight five highly-skilled Force-users.
Rey doubted that she and Anya would be able to take all of the knights. The odds would be better if they had Ben on their side, but he was entirely useless at the moment.
Ben. What am I supposed to do? I can't leave him here alone!
"If we attack now," Tahl said, leaning against the wooden table, "then we do so against direct orders."
Direct orders- Dread filled her stomach with lead. No. He wouldn't. He - Absolutely would. In hindsight, all of the signs had been there she just hadn't wanted to acknowledge them. He had never promised not to go after the Resistance, had never mentioned them to her even in passing the entire time they had been on Korriban. She had been foolish to believe that he was capable of changing one of his driving motivations so quickly simply because she was present.
"Since when is Ren against us eliminating the Resistance?" Damien growled, sending Rey a scalding glare.
"A desire for caution does not negate a call to action," Anya insisted, returning Damien's glare with a cold, leveled stare of her own. What are you doing, Anya? You're supposed to be helping me talk them out of attacking.
"What would you suggest we do?" Nimick questioned, turning his small, black eyes away from his blaster and up to Tahl.
Tahl sighed heavily, "Going against our orders would be the same as committing treason."
"Armed with that knowledge, signal Serie to return to Korriban," Anya commanded. Right. Much better.
"And ignore the chance we have to snuff out the last hope in the galaxy?" Damien argued, "They're all neatly lined up for us in one small corner of the universe and you want us to back away because you're afraid of getting in trouble?"
"Ren wants the Resistance gone more than any of us," Nimick added. "If he were able to give the order, we would already be on our way to Dxun."
"It's four against three," Damien stated smugly. "You know Serie and Bryn would agree that taking out the Resistance now is the best course of action."
"Three?" Tahl inquired.
"Clearly the apprentice isn't going to go against her master's wishes," Nimick said, eyeing her warily. "And you don't seem keen on breaking from your orders."
There was nothing Rey could say in opposition. She gritted her teeth, I'm not his apprentice.
"Rey," Anya firmly grabbed her arm and began pulling her from the room, "a word?"
Fuming, Rey allowed herself to be guided out into the hallway a far enough distance from the mess hall so as not to be overheard.
"This is not an ideal situation," Anya began.
"Ideal?" Rey bit back, "They want to murder my friends!"
"Listen to me!" Anya hissed, moving closer. "At this moment, the Resistance holds no meaning for you, not if you intend to leave this place alive." Rey opened her mouth to argue but Anya's withering glare was enough to have her snapping her jaw shut. "The only thing keeping you safe right now is that none of them suspect that you have any ties to the Resistance - all you are is the apprentice of Kylo Ren. Do you understand me?"
Rey swallowed her pride and nodded sharply.
"As long as the knights continue to believe that you are his apprentice, then you remain under his sovereign protection - they would not dare strike against you and risk facing his wrath. However," Anya continued, sparing a quick glance back in the direction of the dining chamber, "If any one of them thinks for even the briefest of moments that you pose a threat to Ren, they will cut you down without hesitation."
"Okay," Rey responded softly. "Then what can we do? I refuse to just sit here and let my friends die!"
"I am not asking that of you," Anya insisted, taking a step back and fidgeting with the hilt of her lightsaber. "I am merely requesting discretion."
Rey began pacing again, her mind racing through all possible courses of action. "Can we take a ship and race ahead to warn the Resistance?"
"That would place us in an unwise position: Our sudden departure would appear quite suspicious and even if we left immediately, we would likely reach Dxun only moments before the knights - that does not provide enough time for an evacuation."
"Whatever action we take, it isn't enough." Rey sighed and raked her hands agitatedly through her hair, "This only ends in a battle, doesn't it?"
"That does seem to be how this will play out, yes."
"They're going to kill my friends. They're going to destroy Onderon. Doesn't that bother you?" Rey demanded.
"It bothers me a great deal," Anya admitted, staring down at the cracked marble floor. "War brings chaos and death and, try as we might, we cannot escape the consequences of our actions."
"I have to find a way to save them," Rey stated determidly.
"I understand," Anya said, voice soft and mellow. "The Resistance is your family - and there is nothing more important than family."
The level of conviction with which Anya's last comment was made had Rey pausing. Absentmindedly, her hand strayed down to Krillien's lightsaber - her lightsaber now. Does Anya know what happened to her brother? Does she know that he sacrificed himself to save Ben?
Amidst her training with Ben, worry over his deteriorating condition, and constant concern for her friends in the Resistance, Rey had had little time to think through the possible repercussions of the stories she had been told and the memories she had been drawn into.
"I do have a plan," Anya stated confidently, breaking Rey from her thoughts. "However, it involves a choice that you would rather not have to make."
***
Rey hovered anxiously in the doorway to Ben's chambers, trying desperately to will herself to step further into the room. All of the anger and disappointment she had felt upon learning that he had sent Serie to spy on the Resistance evaporated the moment she glimpsed his fevered and restless state. It was impossible to stay raving mad when he was so clearly struggling just to stay alive.
"Take a moment," Anya insisted, usuring Bryn from the room. "The others are almost prepared to depart, but they dare not leave without us on board."
The plan, as Anya had explained it, was far from perfect. Rey was uncomfortable with relying so much on luck, but Anya seemed certain that the Force would guide their actions in such a way that the just and right prospered.
Rey moved slowly toward the wide, simple bed, doing her best to ignore the churning of her stomach and the twisting of her heart that told her she was making the wrong decision. "I'm sorry," she said softly, wishing that the Force bond was stronger so she could be certain Ben was hearing her words. But whatever was happening in his mind, whatever havoc Snoke was wrecking now, had successfully severed the majority of their connection.
"I know it's hard for you to understand," she continued, tentatively reaching out to grasp his trembling hand in her own. "-But I have to go save my friends. I can't let them die." And I can't let you die, either.
"Anya says that there isn't much they can do to help you - that you are the only one who can drive Snoke out." Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill as she took in his pinched and pained expression - even unconscious Snoke refused to leave him alone. "So keep fighting him - don't you dare give up." It was unfair of her to demand it, she knew, but the thought of losing him was too much for her to bear.
"I can't fight him for you. I can't save you." Oh how she wanted to. Undoubtedly, this feeling of helplessness, of being forced to stand idly by while the person you loved most in the universe suffered so much anguish was precisely how Krillien had felt. The symbolism of now carrying his lightsaber was not lost on Rey - she would gladly take up the responsibility of doing whatever was necessary to save Ben Solo.
Even if that meant letting him go to fight his demons while she fought against her own to save her friends.
"This isn't me abandoning you," Rey clarified, uselessly pushing against the thick walls surrounding his consciousness. "I am coming back for you - I promise."
Then, because she could think of no other words to say, she gently swept aside a few strands of hair that were stuck to his flushed and burning skin. Leaning down, she pressed a tender kiss to the middle of his brow.
She let go of her past anger and rage - at herself, at her parents, at him.
All that remained was a startingly bright hope for the future. She had played her part - had done all she could to save him. Now, whatever the future held depended on his decision: to fight or to flee.
***
A/N: Only three chapters and the epilogue left! Thank you to everyone who has followed and reviewed!
I'm also taking a poll: Do you all want the prequel to this story (detailing Ben's childhood - including more Krillien - and fall) or the sequel which takes place right after Whispers in the Dark first? Feel free to let me know in the comments!