Chapter Eight

Inspiration was enough to get you started, but not enough to keep you going.

At least, that's what Kayla was thinking when she was at the recreational Quidditch pitch that Saturday morning.

Kayla bought a Comet 360, which wasn't the fastest broom in the market, but it was within her budget and she didn't know how fast she'd want to go, anyway. Lily was hovering in front of her on a Firebolt Supreme, trying not to be impatient but failing miserably.

In Kayla's defense, she'd been trying much harder to push her fear back. She'd managed to get the broom up before the twentieth try and mounted it as well. For some reason, however, as soon as the broom began to float higher and higher, she would panic and fall off. It didn't hurt, at was only two or three feet off the ground, but her ego was fully bruised.

"It's okay," Lily said for the ninth time Kayla had fallen onto her butt. Lily's expression was no better described than painful. "Let's try it again. But don't try to float higher. Just float in place."

"Sure," Kayla muttered, dusting the dirt off her legs. She was determined, but starting to feel quite tired. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"Not sliding off the end would help," Lily suggested, trying to hide her smile.

"Shut up."

"Go on, try again," she urged. Kayla swung a leg over her brand new broomstick and tried not to glare at it.

"Okay," she told herself quietly. "I can do this." She kicked off the ground, sending her airborne. She tried to keep herself only at two feet high, exactly where Lily had been hovering for the last hour.

"That's it," she encouraged soothingly. "Just stay there for a minute."

"Okay." Kayla looked at Lily, and she was grinning. "I'm staying still. I'm in the air."

"You're flying, without the moving part."

"You suck." Kayla was trying very hard not to look down, since that was why she kept falling. Her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest.

"You love me," Lily said, grinning. "Okay, keep looking at me, all right?"

"Got it."

"You're going to go forward," she explained clearly, "not up. And you're going to move very slowly, as long as you do exactly as I say."

"Okay, okay," Kayla said breathily. Her lungs felt like they'd run out of oxygen. "How do I do that?"

"Lean forward very gently."

She leaned forward, pressing the top of the handle as gently as she could. She moved forward a couple of metres before the broom suddenly jerked out of control and she was flying face-first into the grass.

Lily floated down and touched down on the ground. When Kayla didn't get up, she poked Kayla's arm with her foot. "You alright?"

"I tried," Kayla grumbled dejectedly.

Lily sighed heavily before leaning down on her knees and patted her head. "Come on. I know you couldn't fly like you've always wanted, but wasn't that much better than when you tried in Hogwarts?"

She nodded, feeling grass peek up her nose.

"I remember you sometimes couldn't even bring yourself to kick off back then. And today you kicked off, ten times, and the last time, you even held yourself up in the air."

Kayla hoisted herself up on her forearms, smiling a little. "Yeah. I guess I did that."

"And you leaned a bit too much with your hands instead of your body. That's why your broom jerked." Lily patted Kayla's hair again, looking at her fondly. "You've tackled your fear of heights. This was a win, today."

"Yeah," Kayla said again, nodding. "You're right. I just have to try again next weekend."

"Exactly," Lily agreed, holding out a hand. Kayla took it and stood up before going over and grabbing her broom. "Maybe until then, you can hang out on the roof."

"The roof?"

"Of The Leaky Cauldron," Lily explained. "You can go upstairs to the roof and lookout. It's quite nice, actually, sometimes I go there to look out over Diagon Alley."

Kayla's stomach churned at the thought, but she nodded anyway. "I'll try it."

"What are you up to for the rest of the day?" Lily asked as they made their way back to the Quidditch field's Inn. They used the Floo Network there to easily get back to Diagon Alley. "Rose wants me to come to look for napkins for her wedding. Napkins."

Kayla snorted. "Right. Wedding is in two weeks."

"She wants us to come cake tasting tomorrow, remember?"

"Ah, shit," she groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead. "I haven't even gotten my dress yet."

"At least you don't have to wear the bridesmaid's dresses," Lily lamented gloomily, kicking the ground. "When I get married, I'm not dealing with all this bullshit. I'm hiring someone and making them deal with it."

"That's probably the best idea," Kayla replied, smiling. She wasn't hugely into wedding planning, but she knew Lily had ideas about her wedding since she was very young.

"I'm not going to worry about colours for napkins," she continued. "They're going to be plain white. Just like the dress and the tablecloths and the cake and everything else."

"Are you still doing the candle thing?"

"Of course," she said, looking at Kayla as if she'd gone mad. "Anyway, I'm pretty much sworn off men for now. What are you doing today?"

Kayla paused, suddenly feeling a little nervous. "I'm hanging out with Hugo and Al. There's a Quidditch match at The Black Rose today."

"I'm jealous," she responded as they reached the inn. Kayla knew that Hugo and Al were positive that Lily wouldn't mind if she dated her brother, but Kayla wasn't so sure. Lily didn't exactly exude patience.

Though she'd done a decent job that day, come to think of it.

Lily was entirely oblivious to Kayla's inner struggle. "I'm going to the napkin thing now. I'll see you at home." She hugged her and threw Floo Powder into the fireplace, and then she was off.

Kayla almost felt relieved once she'd gone; she absolutely despised keeping something from Lily. But for some reason, she didn't want to tell Lily about Al. She didn't want Lily to ruin her chances at a relationship with him, even if she might approve. After all, they were best friends.

She just wanted to keep him to herself for a little longer.

The Black Rose was always crowded, but that afternoon, it was absolutely packed. Kayla spotted Albus, Hugo and Gemma at their usual table at the end of the bar and began to make her way through. She grimaced as she squeezed through many tall, sweaty wizards cheering on the Quidditch game.

The Quidditch game was being reported on a Wireless that was turned up to a high volume. It accompanied a magical hologram that was beamed up in the middle of the bar so that everyone could see the game in real time.

"The game just started," Al said absent-mindedly as Kayla slid into the booth beside him. He slid an arm around her waist, but was fixated on the hologram. Hugo didn't say anything, but was communicating with Kayla using a series of eyebrow wiggling and smirks.

"Hi Gemma," she said, smiling at her and ignoring Hugo. "How are you doing?"

"Doing well," Gemma replied cheerfully. "The Tornados are playing against Lancashire, so it looks like an easy win."

"If they don't screw up," Al muttered, still watching the game closely. The Tornados was his favourite team.

Hugo was rolling his eyes. His team was the Chudley Cannons, who had just lost against Lancashire. He had very little interest in this game, on account of him holding a bit of a grudge. "Kayla, how was flying this morning?"

"Oh, you know," she said casually, but shooting Hugo a look. She did not want to explain to Al that she was afraid of heights; she'd seen him play Quidditch for years. She quickly changed the subject. "So if the Tornados win this one, they'll have to play the Harpies next?"

"Yep," Gemma answered, sipping her beer. "What's your team, Kayla?"

"Holyhead Harpies," Kayla stated.

"HOW did they not catch that?!" Al suddenly shouted, making Kayla jump. He didn't seem to notice. "That was a foul!"

"Like hell it was!" yelled another man at the table next to them. Al ignored him.

"Lancashire are a bunch of dirty cheats," Al grumbled, finally tearing his eyes away from the game. He took a long drink from his beer and swallowed heavily before turning to Kayla. "How was your day?"

She blinked at him. "Are you drunk?"

"No," he answered, his eyes flitting back to the game again. Behind him, Hugo was mouthing "YES" very dramatically.

Kayla was realizing she had never actually watched a game with Albus. They'd discussed Quidditch to great lengths in the past and she'd definitely witnessed him drunk before, but she never combined the two.

"Ah, Lancashire just scored," Gemma pointed out, groaning.

"So did you get off the ground?" Hugo continued to Kayla, pushing his plate of chips in front of her. She was glad, because she'd had lunch hours ago. "Where's Lily, anyway?"

"The napkin picking for the wedding," she answered, shrugging and grabbing a couple of chips. "She really helped this morning."

"How high did you go?"

"Only a bit," Kayla murmured quietly, eyes wide. She jerked her head a tiny bit to Al, who was completely absorbed in the game. "But we'll talk later."

"He cannot hear a word we're saying," Hugo told Kayla plainly. Then he grinned at Gemma, who seemed mildly interested in their conversation. "So, are you up for dinner?"

"After the game," she replied firmly, and Hugo groaned.

"Come on," he whined, pouting at her, which made Gemma blush. He took her hand and smiled. "We can get dessert, too. And wine."

"After the game," Gemma insisted, glancing back to the hologram but shifted so she was snuggling up next to Hugo. "Don't you love Quidditch?"

His face matched his hair at this point. "This particular game is useless to me."

"If Lancashire wins, the Harpies are going to beat them for sure," Kayla mentioned, feeling a little excited at the thought.

"Lancashire is not going to win," Al interjected. Then his grip on her waist suddenly tightened and there was a loud cheer going around the bar. "Dammit, they scored again?! What's wrong with Brown today?"

Kayla turned to Hugo again with a questioning look, trying not to laugh.

Hugo only shrugged. "He's very intense about Quidditch," he supplied.

Just then, Al stood up and joined the loud angry roaring that was responding to the Bludger that had just been sent at Brown, the Keeper for the Tornados. Kayla whipped her head around to see Brown fall to the ground and out of the hologram. Al was red-faced and screaming, "FOUL!", as if that would help.

For some reason, she found this strangely endearing.

When Al sat down, he sighed and drained the rest of his beer and buried his face in Kayla's shoulder. "They're losing."

"Only by thirty points," she tried to reassure him, patting the top of his head.

"To Lancashire."

"They did make it to the World Cup last year," Gemma pointed out, a little unhelpfully for Drunk Al, who only groaned. "But the Tornados have Evan Williams on their team this year, they'll make it for sure."

Al sighed and fixed his eyes back on the game. "Okay. At least they're getting a shot for the foul."

"Aaaand… they just scored," Kayla said, the last of her sentence drowned out by cheers. Al looked considerably cheered up after this. "I think you're right about Evan Williams, Gemma." She looked pleased.

"They've got to find the Snitch," Al said anxiously. "If they lose this one, they have to play the Cannons, and they're not half bad this year. And the Harpies are hard to beat, I can never predict that one – YES!"

The Tutshill Tornados just scored another goal.

"I think I want to go to a Quidditch game with you," Kayla said, watching Al amusedly. She really didn't know why she found it so cute that he was so into it, or why it made her want to just watch him instead of the game. She'd never seen him so unashamedly lose it, and she really liked it.

He broke his gaze from the game to look at her. "If the Tornados win this one, I'll take us to the England finals," he told her very seriously, brushing her hair behind her ear.

Kayla blushed as Al turned his attention back to the game. Hugo was smirking at her again, and she kicked him under the table.

The four of them enjoyed the rest of the game with drinks and various snack foods. After about two hours, the Tornados Seeker caught the Snitch and won the game, 250-80. Albus was the happiest Kayla had ever seen him.

"We're off," Hugo told them before grabbing Gemma's hand and disappearing into the crowd that was steadily leaving the bar. It was only seven o'clock, and Hugo had been complaining of a grumbling stomach for the past hour, even though he'd eaten snacks like everyone else.

"Do you want dinner?" Al asked Kayla, looking at her a little apologetically. "I'm sorry. I get really into the game."

"I thought it was cute," she said, grinning at him. "Also, I had too many chips."

"And I had nachos," he said, gesturing to his empty plate that had bits of cheese and jalapeños stuck to it. He slapped down a generous numbers of sickles onto the table. "What a great game."

"You were so anxious," she teased as he put his arm around her.

"Like you're one to talk," he retorted, face flushing red, and she stuck her tongue at him. "Come on. Let's go out, I haven't spoken to you properly in days."

She shrugged. "I guess dessert sounds pretty good."

"You guess?"

"Only if," she added, "we go to this place I know. But it's in muggle London."

"I can pretend to be a muggle," Al joked, climbing out of the booth and holding out a hand for her. "Lead the way."

Al was definitely slightly drunk.

Though Kayla didn't mind, since it just meant he was a just a bit louder, held her a little closer and was very warm. Plus, he didn't really mind when she led him to a little hole-in-the-wall bakery a few blocks down from The Leaky Cauldron.

"Lily was scared when I first took her here," Kayla told him as they reached the dark alley off the main road. "I had to talk her down for a good while before I could convince her to put down her wand."

"That would've been a violation," Al mentioned casually. They reached a set of steep steps that led to a large, brown metal door with a tiny, lit rectangular window. "How did you find this place?"

"I saw a sign for it in a bookstore," she said as they went down. He held open the door for her and the warm smell of baking washed out of the room immediately. "They do a lot of catering and they're open practically all night."

Al followed behind her. "Wow, you really weren't kidding when you said hole-in-the-wall." The bakery wasn't exactly glamorous; it was slightly dark, even though the lights were on, and the floors, counters and tables were all stone. It was like an unfinished basement with industrial-grade equipment and a stone oven. There were a few other people sitting there, as well as the busy employees behind the counter.

"It is delicious, though," Kayla assured as she sat down at one of the tables. "My treat? Since you got drinks and food, and probably don't have muggle money?"

"Sure." Al took off his jacket and sat down. "You choose, though. I'm not an expert like you."

Kayla bought them three different types of small cupcakes with buttercream frosting: pumpkin, coffee and chocolate. After agreeing that these were the best cakes he'd ever had, she felt both of them relax a little. She supposed it was in both their natures to take some time to feel comfortable.

"What did you do today?" she asked as they were eating.

"Not much," Al answered, shrugging. "I was working on that Memory Potion all week. On Wednesday I had to work on it until three in the morning to make sure it didn't boil over until it finished. I slept in until noon today."

"How did the potion turn out?"

"So far so good. Some ministry people came in for it and haven't complained." He took another bite of the pumpkin cupcake. "I think I like this one the best."

"I like the coffee one," she admitted, as she'd finished that one. There was a pause in conversation.

"Do you remember when we went to that muggle school when we were young?" Al asked, smiling and shifting back in his chair.

"Yeah," she remembered. "We all hated it, didn't we?"

"I didn't mind it that much," he said. "We used to play that game during break."

"The one where we would jump down the play structures?" she asked, laughing. "Yeah. We never got hurt. One muggle kid asked Lily to teach them how to fly."

"Speaking of…" he said, leaning in and lowering his voice. "I heard that you were flying today?"

Kayla glanced around to make sure no one had heard them, avoiding his gaze and trying not to turn red. She was definitely going to kill Hugo later. "Flying is not the best word for it."

"Why's that?"

"I'm scared of heights."

"Oh." Al leaned back, regarding her curiously. He didn't seem disappointed, which surprised her. "Then what were you doing?"

"Trying to learn how," she confessed, crossing her arms against the front of her chest. "Hugo used to help me during school, but he gave up on it after a while. Lily was helping me this morning, it was better."

"That's… good," he said slowly, frowning. "Why do you want to fly? Wouldn't it be better if you stayed on the ground?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess," she answered quietly, looking down at the half-eaten chocolate cupcake on the table. "I've always wanted to learn, though. Flying seems amazing."

"It is," he confirmed. "So it was better today?"

"Yeah, actually." She shrugged. "I dunno. I think Lily is more patient than Hugo. Also, I was a bit more determined to keep going, but every time I looked down, I panicked and fell."

"You fell?"

"Like two feet."

"Oh." He still seemed very confused. "How are you going to fly fifty feet up if you can't do two feet?"

"I dunno," she said, her voice small. "Lily wants me to hang out on our roof or something stupid. I think I might just keep trying to get higher on the broom and get used to the height."

"Huh," was all Al could say. She couldn't read his expression, and then he changed the subject.

Kayla tried to put flying out of her mind for the rest of the night. They shared pleasant conversation for a while, eventually walking around the block a few times before they went back to The Leaky Cauldron. She thought Al had forgotten all about flying as well, until he was walking her up to her apartment and completely missed her floor.

"Al?" she asked, confused as they kept climbing stairs. His hand was gripping hers and practically pulling her up. "I'm on the third floor. We're nearly at the fourth."

"I know," he said cheerfully. "We're going to the roof."

Kayla stopped climbing the steps just as they reached the sixth floor. She really was going to kill Hugo for mentioning flying earlier. And Lily, too, for her stupid roof idea.

"No, we're really not," she answered, hating her voice for trembling already.

Al turned back to face her. He stepped down a step so their faces were levelled. "Yes we are."

"Hell no."

"Come on," he urged, taking a hold of her other hand and smiling warmly. "It's not for flying. It'll be romantic up there. And it's not even that high up."

Kayla was shaking her head, unable to even look him in the eye. "Absolutely not. I'm telling you Al, I will actually panic. It's not going to be pretty."

"Now that's just silly," he dismissed, pulling her up more steps. Every stony step she took towards the roof, the more her heart was seizing. "I am not going to let anything happen to you."

"I can't do this," she insisted as they reached the top step. The door for the roof was right there, and she was not going to enter it. "I even avoided looking out the some of the windows at Hogwarts, Al. Do you know how relieved I was that my dormitory was in the basement?"

"Kayla," he began gently, but she cut him off with incessant head shaking.

"Don't even get me started with the Owlry," she muttered, shuddering. "That was a nightmare."

"Okay, fine." He squeezed her hands. "You don't have to go. But what's the worst that could happen up there?"

"I could fall."

"You will not fall off the roof," he said loudly. She was waiting for him to laugh, but he seemed extremely serious. "I promise you. You'll probably do wandless magic before you hit the ground."

"I get dizzy," she told him, her voice much quieter than his. "When I'm a broom, I almost always look down. It makes me dizzy, and then I fall."

"You stop breathing."

She looked at him properly then, feeling startled. "What?"

"You stop breathing," he said matter-of-factly. "I sometimes got this during exams. I used to get extremely nervous to fail."

"You?"

"Yeah," he said, shrugging. "I'd study day and night and the day of exams, I would get dizzy and barely make it through the exam. First year was really difficult and I barely passed. I guess my mum mentioned it to my Aunt Hermione, because she sat me down during summer holidays and made me practice writing tests and keeping my breathing steady."

Kayla was suddenly aware how out-of-breath she felt.

"So if you go up there, you're going to focus on breathing. And I'm going to be there. I'm not going to leave you stranded on the roof."

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, so softly she wished she hadn't said it.

"I dunno." He paused. "Something happened this week, and then suddenly you're flying even though you're clearly terrified. I don't know what you're going through, but I figure I want to understand it."

She hesitated to think about his words. Kayla supposed it seemed a bit strange and unexpected since he didn't know about her eye-opening experience at the poetry slam the night before. Would she have gone on the roof that night, on pure adrenaline alone? Probably.

So why not the next day?

"Okay," she found herself saying. Maybe she felt adrenaline coursing through her again, maybe she didn't. But she knew she was capable of doing it, just like she was clearly capable of flying on a broom without her own thoughts getting in the way.

"Really?"

"I'm going to do this," she said, mostly speaking to herself. She wanted to be brave. She wanted to do things she was scared of. "I want to."

"Are you sure?" he insisted. She thought he looked adorably concerned.

"Yes." And before she could change her mind, she shook him off, charged forwards and pushed through the door. She entered the dimly lit roof area, completely empty besides a few chimneys. The fresh spring air hit her face as she neared the fairly tall ledge and tried to look out over Diagon Alley.

Oh, Merlin, this was a huge mistake.

"Whoa, whoa…" Kayla heard Al's voice in her right ear as she started to feel dizzy and her knees shake. Then he was wrapping his arms around her middle, holding her from behind. "Grab onto the ledge. Lean on it."

She did so, her hands finding the stone just as she had to close her eyes. The lights below were blurring, and it was making her feel sick.

"You can't fall," he said, and he sounded very far away. "This ledge is huge. You'd have to literally climb up onto it to even accidentally fall off."

She let out a laugh, despite herself.

"Are you breathing now?" he whispered, holding her closer. "It's actually very nice out tonight. You can see the stars, even with the light pollution. I don't even know if you like looking at the stars. Open your eyes."

She took a long breath. In, out, in out. "I like the stars."

"Me too." He was very warm, and she found it overwhelmingly comforting. He took one of her hands in his and held it tightly. "You were wrong. You're very pretty."

Kayla laughed again and slowly opened her eyes. She didn't want to look down at Diagon Alley again, so instead she looked out. She could see the tops of other roofs and the stars Al was admiring. They really did look nice.

"Thank you," she said quietly. He pressed a kiss on the side of her head.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, sliding his hand away from hers and wrapping back around her waist. She may have been clutching it a little too tight. "I'm all for flying, but it's not the best thing in the world." He paused. "Don't tell my brother I said that."

She kept her gaze locked in one place across the street, on the smoking chimney. "I'm trying to do things I'm scared of."

"Why?"

"I'm really tired of being afraid all the time."

Kayla could tell by Al's silence that he wasn't expecting her to say that. She felt embarrassed enough by the whole situation, so she let it be quiet, filled by the Saturday night noises of Diagon Alley below.

She thought of when Daniel Finch-Fletchy found out she was scared of heights, and he teased her endlessly. Then he was endlessly jealous when Hugo was teaching her to fly. She never wanted to open up to Daniel again, and she thought that was maybe why he cheated. But she could only guess.

"Are you ready to look down?" Al asked, nudging her. She shook her head. "Why don't you grip the ledge? Kind of like holding a broom's handle."

She took another couple of deep breaths before holding the ledge more tightly. Al smelled nice, too. At this point, she didn't know if her heart was beating quickly because of him or the heights.

Very slowly, Kayla moved her eyes lower. She fixated on storefront signs first, feeling her breath steady. Once they were in focus, she looked at various witches and wizards moving: one older man wearing a large, bright green hat; a couple of women sitting and eating ice cream and Florean's; a young man who was very drunk and stumbling out of The Leaky Cauldron.

"You did it," Al said quietly. She turned around to face him, and he was smiling – not teasingly or condescendingly, like she was afraid of. It was genuine. Unselfish. He tightened his grip to bring her closer, one hand on her waist, one going up to cup her cheek. She leaned in, and then –

BANG.

The sound made them jump. They whipped around and peered down to the road. A witch, who was holding too many books and oddly, glass writing objects, had just dropped them onto the street. It made a loud echoing sound around the buildings.

Albus suddenly chuckled, and Kayla looked at him questioningly. He raised his eyebrows. "You just looked down at the road, twice, without feeling dizzy."

Her mouth dropped open. "Uhh – well, I was still scared –"

"Just take the win," he advised happily, slinging an arm around her shoulders and steering her towards the door to the stairwell. "You'll be riding a broom in no time."

Not likely, Kayla thought as they started making their way down the stairs. Her mind was more on the fact they'd almost kissed, and how she kind of wished he'd try again.

When Kayla got to her apartment, she unlocked the door before looking up at Al, who was leaning against the wall. Normally, he would be off after walking her home, but he was lingering tonight. She felt the heat burning furiously in her cheeks as she took his hand. "Would you like to come in?"

"Sure," he responded, smiling and running his other hand through his hair. Kayla began to push the door open, still feeling hopeful, until she saw Lily in the kitchen. In her underwear.

"Erm – " Kayla stumbled backwards into Al so they were back into the hall as Lily scrambled into her room. She looked back to him, and he was looking at her, confused. "Did you see that?"

"No," he said, frowning. "What –"

"Kayla, is that you?" Lily had come back out, wearing a long cotton robe. "Al? What are you guys doing here?"

"We were –" Kayla was stammering in the doorway, until she saw a man with brown hair and a thick short beard coming out of Lily's room, just in boxers.

"Holy shit," Al swore as the man darted back into his sister's room. "What the hell is going on?"

But Lily was looking down at their hands, still clasped together. She seemed speechless for a moment, then looked at Kayla with an expression of confusion and hurt.

"What the hell is going on with you?" she shot back, her voice hollow.

Kayla couldn't speak.

This was not how things were supposed to be.