Okay after a very, very, very looonngg wait, I finally stopped being lazy and typed up a new chapter of Hope Is Never Broken! I really hope you lovely readers enjoy it!

Chapter 9: What now?

I stood there; my feet frozen at the end of the hallway were I stood. I couldn't move, I was too afraid to. So I just stood, the cool blue notebook, still clutched by my burning hands as I held it to my chest. Then I hear it.

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HER! I NEVER WANT TO TALK TO, IRIS EVER AGAIN!" were the words that I heard ringing down the hallway

I squeezed by eyes closed as if I was waiting for the words to slam into me, as a punishment. A punishment that I knew I deserved.

Suddenly I heard another voice, it was calmer, "Come on, Ash, I know your upset, but you gotta be reasonable-"

"I SAID NO! I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY TO ME…I do-don't c-care…" the volume of my raven haired friend's voice diminished somewhat before it all became silent.

Slowly I blinked my eyes open and looked down the hall. I wanted to move. I wanted to go down there. To see him. To explain to him what had actually happened. But I couldn't. How could I? Where would I even begin?

The silence that I heard down the hallway was suddenly broken as the soft sound of whimpering and sniffling could be heard.

I felt a giant weight slam into my heart, it was the heavy weight of guilt, "No, not those tears, no Ash please don't cry…" the words slipped softly from my mouth without me noticing.

"Ash just try to calm down," I heard Cilan said, "if you just explain what happened I'm sure-"

"N-No…I-I don't wanna ta-talk about i-it…"came Ash's shaky voice, it was full of sadness.

"Pika pi chu pi…" his loyal Pokemon was also there in his room trying to make him feel better

"Pikachu…s-stop…"

"Pi chu pika,"

"Pikachu's right Ash," I heard Cilan say again, "it's not good to have your emotions all bottled up and-"

"I-I… don't wanna t-talk about i-it," Ash's voice was more shaky than ever, his words were barely heard over his sniffles and whimpers

"But Ash-"

"NO!" I felt my heart jump and the sudden change in volume in his voice, "NOW GET OUT!"

"Pika-"

"NO! GET OUT! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND GET OUT!"

I once again squeezed my eyes shut as those words rattled my ear drums. I know the old saying says 'stick and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,' but it's wrong. Words do hurt and they fell like they're stabbing my heart.

"Sorry…I-I tried," slowly I blink my eyes open to see Cilan standing before me.

"It's okay…at least I know how he feels," I softly say

Pikachu climbs up onto my shoulder, "Pika…" Pikachu mutters as he tries to comfort me by nuzzling his red cheek against mine.

I give a weak smile, "Thanks Pikachu…" I pat the Pokémon's head, I really needed that.

"Iris, I know you wanted me to go down there to try to get Ash to talk to you," Cilan said, "but may I ask why?"

Cilan question brings that frown back to my face, "I wish I could tell you Cilan," I sigh, "but I-I really can't,"

"Oh? Why not?"

"Because if I do…I'll make everything between Ash and I even worse!"

"What's going on between you two anyway?"

I groan and look at my feet, "…It's complicated,"

Cilan gives me a confused look, "Well, do you want talk about it? Because whatever this 'complicated' problem is it's got Ash really upset and I have no idea…"

I zone out on Cilan's talking as I fix my eyes on the floor. Cilan's comments were makes my insides fight with each other. My legs wanted to run down the hall, my hands wanted to shove open the door of the room Ash was in, my lips wanted to confess everything I had done, and my heart wanted to pour out the love I felt towards my raven haired friend! But my brain, my emotions, which were a nervous wreck, and my guilty conscience were holding that all back. I hated this feeling and I needed and answer to fix it.

I look up at my green haired friend "Cilan?" I suddenly blurt out.

I had interrupted him but Cilan answers, "Uh, yes Iris?"

I take a breath as I look down at the blue hard cover notebook, exhaling and picking my words carefully I ask, "W-What would y-you do i-if you br-broke someone's t-trust…but t-they d-didn't know it?"

"Um…sorry I-I don't understand w-what you're asking Iris…" Cilan responds, scratching his head.

Sighing I lean against the wall, my hands resting in front of me holding the object that started all my troubles. "T-To be honest Cilan I-I really don't know how to ex-explain this…but um…let's say," I feel the hard covering of notebook in my slippery hands. Even though it would have probably felt cool to a different pair of hands, it felt freezing to me. I hated the coldness, the awful coldness of the blue green cover, it was as if it was punishing me for the horrible thing I had done to someone I loved.

"Um Iris you were saying…" Cilan says.

Pikachu nudging my ankle, also encouraging me to continue on what I had started to explain.

"Um are you good with scenarios Cilan?" I question

"Sure…why?"

"Because I have one…that needs a really good answer,"

(TG2012: the next bit might be confusing, but btw, Ash is labeled as person A and Iris is person B and the notebook is labeled as a box…it'll make sense later)

"Um let's say t-there are tw-two people, person A and person B…and um their friends…really good friends…" I start clutching Ash's notebook tighter, "and um person B found out ab-about a s-secret person A w-was keeping fr-from them. Er, it's a g-good se-secret n-nothing b-bad or mean it's actually very n-nice and sweet, but anyways this se-secret is ab-about something person A d-didn't w-want person B to kn-know…"

"Okay," Cilan slowly says. I can tell he's thinking by the way he cupped his chin with is thumb and forefinger. "Go on,"

"So…e-er a-along with the se-secret person B fou-found…um they also found a…" my eyes dart down at the blue notebook, and it seems to be look back up at me with an evil grin, having known that I had read the secrets embedded inside of it. I swallow hard. "Um let's ju-just s-say it's a…a box. And in t-this box, which is im-important to p-person A, is we-were the s-secret that they di-didn't wa-want anyone to know about, w-was ke-kept."

"Alright, I'm following you," Cilan tells me, "but could you stop stuttering and could you also speak up a bit, Iris?"

I bite down harder on my lip to reduce my stutter and then continue, "Well an-anyways this box is s-something person B k-knew about and knew that person A said not to touch it, because of the secret inside." I feel panic and worry start to rise in my stomach as I realize I was indirectly explaining what the whole problem was. Could I really trust Cilan? Would he put two and two together? Well there's only one way to find out. So closing my eyes I inhale and then let the words rush out in one large breath, "But person B took the box, found out about the secret and…a-and also did so-something really b-bad, that had absolutely nothing to do with the secret and was totally not their fault, to hurt person A's feelings. And now person A is mad and person B and person B is too afraid and worried that their friendship would be ruined if they tell person A about what they originally did…"

There's silence as I catch my breath and blink my eyes open. Upon doing so I notice that the floor, that I was staring at, was oddly foggy and blurry. Tears, they were preventing me from seeing well, they were welling up in my eyes! No, I can't cry! Showing emotion will only make things look fishy.

"Well that's quite an interesting story you have there Iris," I hear Cilan say as I was able to blink a way my tears and look up at him.

"Pika chu pi," Pikachu mutters, looking up at me confused.

"Well d-do you have an answer?" I ask, as I stifle a sniffle.

I watch as Cilan sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, "Um actually er…I-I might have to get back to you on that, Iris,"

"B-But I need an answer to my problem, now!" I exclaim, louder than I meant to.

"Well um sorry Iris…I honestly don't know how to answer you scenario," Cilan admits, sheepishly.

My emotions were near there breaking point and I was forced to look away as my eyes grew moist, I focused my blurring vision on the Electric Mouse that sat at my feet.

"Sorry if I couldn't give an answer, Iris…but um just I'm just curious what does you scenario had to do with what's going on between you and Ash?" I hear Cilan ask. "Well at least I'm assuming it has nothing to do with-"

"It doesn't!" I blurt out to the direction of the floor, "My scenario has nothing to do with anything or anybody!"

"Ar-Are you sure?" Cilan questions.

I force myself to look up and him and muster up the fakest smile I ever had given and answer, "Yeah…I-I'm sure," I say, even though I know it's a lie. A filthy, disgusting lie. "Now um since you're a detective connoisseur or whatever…could you at least try to figure something out about that scenario I gave you?"

Cilan flashes a smile, I hardly ever give him any credit for his detective skills and I can tell that it had given him some sort of boost to at least think about it. So with a sparkle in his eyes, Cilan extravagantly answers, "Oh course I can, my dear friend! Detective Cilan will get right on it!"

And with that Cilan start to pace up in down the hallway, Pikachu following close behind him, as he muttered to himself about person A and person B. Or just Ash and I. Still leaning against the wall, I ignore Cilan's jabbering and let my eyes linger down the hallway, towards the direction of Ash's room, the guilt that I feel burns in my stomach again as I get lost in my troubled thoughts.

'I was really hoping Cilan could give me an instant answer to fix what I've done,' I miserably think as I look down at the notebook, the words 'Travels in Unova' glare up and me mocking me once again. Mocking me about how bad of a friend I've been towards Ash, and too make things worse, Ash doesn't even know what I've done to him. He's like a clueless Mareep being taken to a slaughter house! UGH! What have I done?!

Negative thoughts start to swarm my mind, 'He'll hate me forever, when I tell him about everything…' I close my eyes again, blocking out everything as I wallow in the darkness of my worry and regret and in the horrible awfulness of my actions. 'Ash will hate me! He won't want to look at me! ARGH! I'm so damn stupid, why didn't I just leave Ash's notebook alone! Why, why, why?!'

My mind continues to swim with negativity as the uncomfortable feeling of guilt grows larger in the pit of my stomach; it was making me feel sick! It felt like it was consuming me, trying to eat me alive! Go away! Please go away! I wanted to scream at the feeling but…I couldn't.

'None of this would have happened if I hadn't walked into his room that night. Then I wouldn't even know about this stupid notebook!' I scream in my head, as I clutch the blue green book, trying to strangle it, as if it was its fault for what I was feeling right now. 'No better yet, maybe if I hadn't suggested climbing those rocks we would have fallen! And then Ash wouldn't have…h-have tried to s-save me…'

To save me.

Those three words lingered in my head for a moment as I feel my lips start to tremble. It was all because of me! Ash's leg is all banged up, he probably won't be able to go to the Unova League and now he's crying because of me! Me! Me! ME! UGH!

'It's all your fault,' my brain sneers, 'All if it is your fault, Iris!'

I bite down hard on my lip and the taste of blood splatters on my tongue, but ignore the pain as I fight to keep my emotions from bursting free, but I start to have trouble doing so as I feel a round of whimpers start to form in the back of my throat. I swallow most of them back down, past the lump in my throat, but one makes it past me and before I could even stop it, the whimper seeps out from between my trembling lips, and I feel a hot tears fall from my eyes as I squeeze them closed a bit harder.

"Pika chu?"

I flinch upon hearing Pikachu's voice and I open my eyes to see he had abandoned Cilan and his pacing to stop and sit at my feet; the Pokemon was looking at me. His face was disfigured with worry and concern as he seemed to pick up on how horribly sad I was feeling, not to mention that the tear that had fell had landed right on his little black nose. Sniffling I rub the back of my hand across my face I try for a smile but all that does causes my lips to twitch, as if they refused to make me appear happy.

Sighing in defeat I mumble, "Don't worry Pikachu…I'm fine…" I lie once again.

My lie doesn't faze the electric type as he tilts his head to the side, ears dropped as he says, "Pika pi chu pi…pika?" it was as if he wanted to know what was wrong, and I feel the wall that was holding back my sadness start to crumble.

Feeling a fresh wave of tears starting to form in the corners of my eyes, I rapidly blink and without thinking say, "I-It's all…m-my fault…"

"Sorry Iris, did you say something?" looking I see that Cilan had stopped his pacing and was standing before me still in a stance of pondering.

Unable to conceal my tears and the devastated look on my face any longer, I allow my tears to fall.

Even though his image is blurred I can still see that Cilan was shocked at seeing me cry, "Iris wh-what's the matter?"

"I-I said t-that it's al-all my fault!" I blubber as the wall that held back my emotions collapses and a flood of tears-no a tsunami of tears, pour from my eyes.

"Iris uh why are you crying?" I hear Cilan ask, even though my sniffles and whimpers drown most of it out.

But I'm unable to answer as I clutch Ash's notebook to my chest and just shake my head.

"Pika? Pi chu?" Pikachu mumbles looking up at me, worry written on his face.

I stare at Pikachu's blurry figure, I wish I could Pikachu, Cilan, Virgil, UGH just anybody! But I couldn't! It would just make things unbearable if any other person intervened with what I did! I didn't know what to do! The conflict that was going on inside felt like it was burning me alive!

"Iris…I-I don't understand, what's your fault?"

"I…I just…I…" I utter, voice trembling as I try to speak, only to fail. "I need to be alone!"

With that I start down the hallway, Ash notebook still clutched to my chest as I went; I ignore the cries of Pikachu and Cilan. I know it's wrong of them to keep them in the dark about what was going on, but I couldn't risk anything! I didn't want Ash to find out! Besides I haven't even figure out what to do or say when I confront him about all this! I get to the room, and slam the door closed. Still sobbing my trembling knees buckle and I slide down to the floor, by back against the door, the green blue notebook to slipping from my unclenched fingers.

Now that I was alone, in the empty room, I bring my knees up and bury my face in them as I sob, "Oh what have I done?! How am I going to fix this?" I wail. "He hates me! Ash hates me and it's my fault!"

I slam my fist on the floor in frustration, but a hard surface hits back and I know its Ash's notebook, back to harass me. I hated that thing, I hated so much! It's the one thing that got me into this! I grab it and raise it, preparing to throw it but I stop. It was Ash's and I still had to give it back to him in one piece. I'd feel even more guilty if I tried to harm the special object.

Carefully picking it up I and managed to make out the blurred words Travel's in Unova' through my tears. Lips trembling I say, "I'm sorry Ash's notebook, I didn't mean to read you," I stammer in between sniffles, I hug it to me as if it was real and could tell how sorry I was. "I didn't know you had one of Ash's biggest secrets written in you. And when I give you back to Ash…I hope he can find it in him to forgive me, and if he does I-I promise to never touch you again,"

Shakily getting to my feet, I make my way over towards the nightstand near my bed and place Ash's notebook on it and then turning to the bed that I was sleeping on, I collapse onto it. With my face hidden in the pillow I wallow in my sorrows, 'All I wanted was for Ash to like me, no love me, now I'm not sure it'll ever happen. Besides I've given Ash two really good reasons to hate my guts. He saw me kiss that jerk Mitchel and got the wrong idea, and let's not forget that I read his personal notebook…which I haven't even figure out how I'd be able to tell him about that yet,'

Needing air, I roll over on my side and look at the wall.

"What are you going to do Iris?" I ask myself in pure misery as the hot tears continue to burn by cheeks. "What am I going to do?" I whimper as the tears fall.

So what will Iris do with Ash's notebook? Will Ash and Iris ever speak again? Stay tuned for the last and final chapter of Hope is Never Broken!

Yeah, yeah I know it's short but hey it's something! Couldn't finish the entire thing because final exams are kicking my ass(and I'm pretty sure I bombed the math exam T~T) so yeah…hope it wasn't too bad, and good news the final and last chapter is 95% done! So stay tuned, hopefully it'll be out by the end of the month!

BYE:Toadettegirl2012

PS: Review