Alright everyone, after a year and a few months of this being published, I, Toadettegirl2012, is now going to complete Hope is Never Broken with it's final chapter! Hope you like it! And once again I'm very sorry for the prolonged delay on updating but as you know from the note I posted awhile back, my dad put up a firewall that blocked fanfiction so I couldn't do anything for like a month (worse 31 days of my life! XC) During that time I kinda got lazy and didn't start working on this again until like a few weeks ago, but now it's finished! And just cause, I made it kinda lengthy in hopes to suppress your guy's hungry eyes! So without further undo, go head and jump into the final chapter of Hope is Never Broken!
Chapter 10: The Final Entry
It was dark, in the room, which made sense since it was night now. I lay in bed; Axew snuggled up next to me, and Cilan, who once again, was as loud as ever as he snored, which really wasn't helping the pounding headache that was starting to form as my thoughts trampled over each other with the events of the day. I was trying my hardest not to feel guilty about what I done, trying to reason with my conscience that what I did was just a mistake but it wasn't, and I knew it.
'If only I didn't let my curiosity get the better of me,' I think, my eyebrows furrowing. I sigh and let my face relax, 'No Iris…now more worrying…just try and sleep…'
Sleeping, yeah right, I had given up long ago on that. I couldn't get a wink of sleep, and this time not because of Cilan's snoring. Whenever I close my eyes; the image of Ash crying from this afternoon appears in my head and no matter how hard I try to get it to go away it keeps popping up again. It was as if the image of those transparent wet things falling from these distraught amber eyes and dripping down those z marked cheeks, were burned into my memory forever.
'Looks like Arceus is really having fun toying with me.' I think, imagining the giant legendary Pokémon grinning mischievously down at me, as he enjoyed every second of torturing me and my emotions.
Sighing and admitting defeat of trying to get any sleep I sit up. The sound of the bed sheets crinkling folding over each other resound through the silence, with each of my movements as I slowly, to not disturb my sleeping Axew, and then climb out of bed. I sluggishly trudge to the bathroom and flick the light on.
"Ugh…ow…" I mutter as I blink my eyes at the intense brightness, when my eyes adjust I nearly cry out in shock at what I see in the mirror. Granted my reflection still looked back at me, but I looked like I just got ran over by a stampede of Boffalant. My hair was a frizzy mess from all my tossing and turning during the woeful moments were I did get a moment to sleep and my dark brown eyes were blood red and puffy from when I had cried myself to sleep a few hours back. "Damn…who knew being love could make someone look this bad…" I mumble as I run a hand through my tangled hair.
Going over to the sink I turn on the water and splash some of the cool liquid on my face, ignoring the stinging pain that it brought to my puffy, red and irritated eyes, to fully wake me up. After drying my face, and failing to fix my hair, I return to my bed and sit on the edge of it. Hugging my knees to my chest I turn my attention to Axew, who was blissfully snoozing away, a portion of the blankets cuddled close to him as he slept. Oh Axew, his life is so carefree and happy all the time, what a lucky Pokmeon. He had no idea what I'd give to switches places with him so I could throw all my problems out the window, to forget about them completely.
"I wish I could be as naïve and happy as you were Axew," I whisper to the sleeping Pokemon, as I outstretch my finger and gently run it along one of his smooth tusk. "But even if I had the ability to, I don't think I'd switch places with you. I wouldn't want to put the burden of the dilemma I have with Ash onto you…it wouldn't be right,"
Then as if Axew had heard my hushed voice, he mumbles what I'd only be able to interpret as my name in his Pokemon langue as he rolled over and continued to sleep. I allow a fragment of a grin to make its way onto my lips at Axew's cuteness, before a sigh makes itself present in my chest and slips out from between my lips. Looking away from Axew I proceed to stare out the window that a spectacular lovely display of the shining stars and the glowing full moon.
"I wish…I wish I could just run away from all my problems," I say to the window, but then frown at myself and shake my head, "but running away wouldn't fix anything. I have to face my problem head on, no exceptions,"
With that I turn my eyes from the beauty of the moon and stars and fixate them on the root that started all my tragic problems, Ash's notebook. It still sat on the nightstand were it stayed untouched, unnoticed by anyone. Well than again Cilan had seen it, but he didn't seemed interested in it enough to ask any questions, Pikachu on the other had recognized it from all those nights ago but after sniffing it and opening and closing the cover Pikachu found that he had no interest in it either, which was lucky for me, having to explain the notebook to them would just be a pain in the ass. No one knew the really meaning behind it; well no one except me and my guilty conscience that was drawn to the book like a magnet. I sit there staring at the notebook before I climb down from were I sit and go over to the nightstand and snatch Ash's notebook up in my hands.
"Alright, Travel's in Unova." I whisper to the slightly faded Sharpie written words, ignoring the fact that the notebook's cool covers once again feeling like ice against my burning palms. "It's time that I give you back to Ash.
I don't give myself time to think any more about this decision as I head for the door and step out into the hallway, the darkness welcomes me. I stand there in the darkness, the only light being the moon that peeked through nearby window. Taking a deep breath I order my brain to make my feet to take me down the hallway. As I make the trek to Ash's room my brain flashes the memories from that night, the one when sleep had eluded me and I had left my room out of boredom, completely oblivious that feelings for my raven haired friend would blossom after I would receive my first kiss, well more like a peck on the lips, from Ash.
'Too bad I didn't know that in a mere two or three days after, my hidden feelings towards Ash would grow but I'd be too terrified to go and speak to him because of what I did,' I look guiltily down at his notebook that I knew I had to return. 'No Iris don't think like that,' I tell myself, 'think about what you have to do, you gotta go down there and tell Ash about reading his notebook, confess that I love him the way he loves me, and explain to him that the whole kissing Mitchel thing was just to get his notebook back so...ugh no that sounds horrible! If I bring up Mitchel it'll just make things awkward! S-So should I confess my feelings first tell him about the notebook and then explain the Mitchel thing…'
But before I can clearly sort out my thoughts I suddenly startled to find that my feet had taken me right in front of the door of the room Ash was in. I gulp as the door suddenly appears larger than life and I feel like I've been shrunken down to the microscopic size of a Druant! I have to take several deep breaths to suppress the crazy swam of nervous butterflies fluttering my stomach, once I do that, I outstretch my trembling hand towards the door knob.
"Y-You can do this, you c-can d-do this, you can d-d th-this," I chant to myself in a timid and shaky voice that I never knew that my voice box could produce. I watch my hand and start to wonder why the journey for it to grab the door handle seemed to take an eternity, but even so during that time frame my brain reminds me of the moment I had with Ash in that room.
Me seated on Ash's bed, snuggled up close to him, marveling the colorful beauty of the sunrise and then the image of the odd shape of Ash's lips and how he slowly leaned in towards me. Then the shock of Ash's soft warm lips pressed against mine…the wonder of my first kiss…I loved it so much no matter how awkward it was. But even though I can remember the short kiss we shared, the image of me ignorantly, and stupidly pulling away, rejecting Ash's kiss, lingered in my brain for the longest of times, as if the thought was laughing at me for being too embarrassed and flabbergasted for not getting the hint then that Ash like me. Just as I was about to return to wallow in my guilt, I let out a gasp as an ice cold sensation rushing through my fingertips. Looking down I see that my hand had finally made it to the door handle and was awaiting my brains instructions for my wrist to rotate so that the door would open.
However, instead of turning the handle my eye avert themselves from it and look at the notebook that I still limply held, the notebook belonging to my crush of only a few days. I take a deep breath, 'I can do this, no I have to do this…if I don't Ash won't speak to me ever again.' I let the air exit my lungs and slowly open the door with a soft creaking sound and step in.
When I close the door behind me, the darkness of the room baffles me. The reason for the lack of light was due to the fact that the full moon and shining stars were hidden by the closed blinds of the window in Ash's room. In fact that was same window that displayed the wonderful sunrise for us…I shake my head, no I didn't come here to think about that!
I blink my eyes and let them adjust to the darkness around me and as they do so, I'm able to make out the bed and the silhouette resting on it. It was the silhouette of Ash, the one boy I'd fallen heads over heels for and the one guy who felt the same towards me…but it was also the same guy that I had accidentally turned away due to snooping through his personal notebook.
'Great Ash is asleep.' I think but then feel stupid; it was night time after all! But even with the knowledge of my crushing sleeping I slowly approach his bed, 'Since he's asleep…how about I-I just put his notebook under his pillow?' A smile forms on my face, 'Yeah! If I do that, Ash will wake up the next morning and find it there and my problems will be solved…well until I tell him that I love him,'
Feeling like a genius with coming up with such a full proof plan I stop at Ash's bedside only to see that his back was turned to me. Perfect, so cautiously I make my move and gently and slowly start to slide the green blue notebook underneath the pillow that cushioned Ash's head.
'Just a little more…' I think, my heart racing in fear of Ash waking up at any moment. But finally I get Travels of Unova under Ash's pillow, relief washes over me, but my joy is short live as the sound of rustling bed sheets reached my ears and shortly after Ash starts to move! Oh no, I'm so dead! If he wakes up, what do I do?! What do I say?! Fortunately, before I go into a mini panic attack, I find that waking up was the last thing Ash was going to do, instead he rolls over on his back, still fast asleep, trapping my hand under his pillow! UGH damn it!
"Arceus, don't do this to me, not now!" I hiss in a volume that only I can hear. I make an attempt to try and wedge my hand out from under Ash's head, but as I eye the pillow the kept my hand prisoner I couldn't help but let my eyes linger on the head that rested on the pillow.
During that short moment of my eyes making the move to look at Ash, I could hear my brain screaming at me, 'No, Iris stop it! You didn't come here to see Ash! You came only to return the notebook you stole from him,'
My brain repeats this over and over but I just can't help myself and before I know it, I'm just standing there marveling at my crush. I watch his chest rise and fall, the movement in sync with his soft snores. Ash's untamed jet black hair was messily fanned out on the pillow that cushioned his head, and his mouth twitched every so often as he slept, as a thin stream of saliva dribbled down from the corner of his mouth, running across one of his z marked cheeks. I stare for what seems like forever and while doing so I feel blush creep up onto my face. Crap, even just laying eyes on him makes my insides go all fluttery! But I don't mind, oh Ash…he's just so dreamy…even when he sleeps! However even as I'm in my trance, I hear a voice lingering in the back of my head.
'You have to tell him Ash what you did Iris,' the voice was my conscience and what it mentioned to me makes me cringe and causes my guilt filled brain to return protest.
"No I can't tell him! It'll only make things worse, and besides if I can just get my hand free and get out of here, I'll be home free! Ash will never know what I did!" my brain pleads to my conscience.
My conscience scolds me 'But you must! Ash is your friend and keeping what you did to him in the dark will just add a weak link to your already failing friendship!'
Damn…my conscience is good at making me feel bad, but unfortunately I knew it was right. Not telling Ash the whole truth about the notebook and stuff will be sure to backfire on me one day…and besides how else am I supposed to get Ash to love me if I keep this secret locked up inside of me? I grit my teeth, ugh now what?! My brain was fighting with my conscience, I was still staring at Ash, and worst of all my hand was still stuck under Ash's pillow! ARUGH! All of it makes me want to scream!
"Oh my, I didn't know Ash was expecting visitors at such a late hour,"
I give a squeak of surprise and turn to see in the darkness Nurse Joy, in her pink pjs and all, standing at the now open doorway. Even though it's too dark to make out her face, I can tell Nurse Joy was giving me a look that was asking: What in Arecus's name are you doing in here?
But before she can get a chance to ask I stammer out, "S-Sorry Nurse Joy, um I kn-know I'm not supposed to be in here but-"
"It's alright…I'm sure you have a resemble explanation to why you're here, Iris," whispered Nurse Joy as she approached the bed, she didn't want to disturb her patient's sleep.
"Um yeah…" I answer and shift on my feet to hopefully hide the embarrassing fact that my hand was still trapped under Ash's pillow.
"But like you have your reasons, I also have my reasons for dropping in on your friend," Nurse Joy yawns as she comes up to the night stand and without warning clicks on the lamp.
I cringe at how the light stings my eyes, but they quickly adjust and that's when I notice how tired Nurse Joy appears. Her usually perky hot pink hair was no longer in its two loops, it was now styled in in a messy ponytail. Drowsily, she looked at me and that's when I noticed the bags lining under her usually alert blue eyes.
"So um why are you here, Nurse Joy?" I ask, as I watched her go get a pitcher of water on a nearby desk and fill a glass up to the brim with the cool liquid.
Nurse Joy gives me a tired smile "Well, I should be asking you the same thing," ouch, touché Nurse Joy. "But if you really must know, I'm here because of your friend." She responds in a tone that implies that her answer should have been obvious.
"Y-You mean Ash?" I ask, looking my crush, but before I get a chance to get mesmerized by him I get distracted by a rattling sound.
Turning I see a small orange pill bottle occupying one of the pink haired woman's hand while the other grasped the glass of water, "You see, he's been saying that his leg was aching again and something about a headache." She yawns as she sets the glass down on the nightstand and starts to undo the lid of the orange bottle, "I was supposed to give him the medicine earlier, but I guess he nodded off before I could get back with it…" but Nurse Joy's blue eyes suddenly blink with surprise as her voice trails off.
Following her gaze I see that, much to my embarrassment, she had spotted my hand still stuck underneath Ash's pillow, an eyebrow arches, demanding an explanation.
I sweatdropped and started to blush, damn it why do I always have to get myself in the most awkward of situations?! "Er um…well um, a fu-funny thing ha-happened and I-"
"It's alright, no need to explain," Nurse Joy says, as she laughs softly. "Your reason probably isn't that important anyhow,"
I feel a bit offended that Nurse Joy thought my reason for being for being in Ash's room in the middle of the night wasn't important, but on the other hand, I feel like my cheeks would have melted off my face it had to explain my reasoning.
"Thanks for saving my hand, Nurse Joy," I sheepishly whisper after the nurse helped get my hand free.
Nurse Joy only give a sleepy nod as she goes ahead and gently props Ash's pillow and softly rests his head on it so it's elevated. And of course Ash being the cute heavy sleeper he was, he didn't stir one bit, my raven haired crush just went right on snoring in his handsome way. Oh, Ash…your just so cute, even when your-NO! Iris stop, you didn't come her for this.
I have to a quickly shake my head to make sure I didn't get into another trance of staring at Ash, "Um, I-I guess I'll be going t-to bed now, Nurse Joy," the sleep deprived woman only gives a lackadaisical wave of her hand.
I proceed in letting my feet take me to the door, while doing so I allow my hands, now free from holding that annoying notebook, to clasp together. The hand that had once been trapped under Ash's pillow was now warm and toasty, and it began to shiver a bit when it made contact with my other hand, which happened to be freezing and clammy. But the uncontrollable shaking wasn't only due to the feeling of my cold palm but also because…well I just so happy! I was partially dancing on the inside. For Arceus sake, I finally got rid of Ash's notebook; I gave it back to him…well indirectly, but still.
'It's gone! That freakin' thing is gone!' I feel so happy I almost want to jump up and down out of pure joy, but I can't do that, so I settle with a wide smile instead. 'Half my problems are practically solved now that I gave Ash his notebook back,' I suddenly blush. 'Now all I have to worry about is…confessing my feelings for him…but that's a whole different kind of story I-'
Thunk!
I freeze in my spot at that sound and I feel my eyes widen with shock and fear.
'No…no it can't be, not now!'
"Travel's in Unvoa?"
Damn it! That thing won't leave me alone!
I whirl around just in time to see the pink haired woman leaning over the blue green notebook that had slipped out from under Ash's pillow and now sat on the floor. "Nurse Joy! Please don't touch that!" I exclaim louder than I mean to.
A startled Nurse Joy jumps somewhat as I rush in and snatch it up from the floor, "I-I'm sorry I d-didn't know-"
"Mmmm…ugghh, w-what's…uh going o-on?" comes Ash's voice, slurred with sleep.
A horde of Butterfrees dance around in my stomach as I watch his beautiful amber brown eyes flutter open. The crinkle a bit due to the harsh light, but it's only for a brief moment before they widen with shock. My heart practically jumps in my throat, he sees it! He sees the notebook, and I'm totally caught red handed…no wait…h-he's looking at…at me? No staring, yeah Ash…he's staring right at me. The sensation of blush warming my cheeks feels wonderful, and I have to bite my lip to keep myself from breaking out in a huge grin. Unfortunately I don't have to try too hard to accomplish this task because what comes next slaps the forming smile right off my face.
"What the hell are you doing here, Iris?" Ash bluntly says.
The words come like a dagger to my heart.
"Didn't Cilan tell you that I didn't want to talk to you, let alone see your face?"
The words are rough and apathetic and they hurt…they hurt so much, it hurt to the point that I have to look away to hide the tears that moisten my eyes. Ash's words hurt, but I take it, I have no choice, besides I deserved it, all of it. Then once again, I feel the notebook (which I had swiftly hidden behind my back) burn in my hands, but even so I blink away my tears and summon every ounce of courage in my body and force myself to look up at my crush, my only crush, my one and only crush that despise my guts right now. I stare at him for a moment, and with the lights on, I could now see the redness and puffiness that surrounded his amber eyes from the crying I had caused him.
I felt like a fool just standing there staring, I mean I have to say something, so despite the lump in my throat I swallow it down and utter out, "A-Ash…pl-pleas I-I just-"
"What are you deaf?!" Ash says, now in a volume of voice that rattled throughout the room, "I don't want to talk to you Iri-AUGH!" he suddenly cuts himself off with a cry of pain. Ash scrunches his face up in pain, reaching out towards his injured leg he starts to groan and bite down hard on his lip.
"Alright, that's enough out of you," Nurse Joy firmly says as she reached for the pill bottle, "You'll wake up the entire Pokémon Center if you keep up all this yelling."
Ash can give nothing but a groan in response, however though his pain he was able to shot me a glare. A glare of anger…for the external and internal pain I had caused him.
Turning away, and biting back the urge to burst into tears, I take my cue to leave and slip out of the room. In the hallway, the darkness welcomes me once again, along with the tears that burn my eyes and wet my cheeks as they flow down. I force my feet to take me down the hallway, but I can barely tell where I'm going because of my blurry vision, but honestly I don't care, I just wanted to be anywhere but here. I silently walk for a few minutes, which to me felt like hours, sniffling and stifling sobs that threaten to overtake me. I feel my hot tears drip off my face and splash on my neck and slither down my shirt, normally I would have wiped my tears away, due to my weak emotions, and because of my desire to appear as a strong person, but didn't feel the need to, because at this very moment, I didn't feel strong. I didn't feel anything but grief.
My legs start to hurt and they demand to rest so I stagger towards a nearby wall and press my body against it smooth surface. "Th-That's it…As-Ash…h-he…he h-hates me," I sob as I press my face against the cool wall, as if begging it to take my sorrow away, but I knew it couldn't. Whimpering I let my knees go slack and I slide down to the floor, my knees crumpled beneath me, I pull my arms around myself, in comfort, and just the tears fall. They had every right to obey gravity anyway.
"He hates me, he hates me, he hates me!" I repeat over and over again as I cry, "and because he hates me…he'll never love me, Ash will never love me!" I then blink away enough tears so I could make out the notebook I once again held in my hands. I narrow my eyes at it, feeling my anger towards the inanimate burn inside my chest. "A-And no m-matter wh-what's written ins-inside you…A-Ash…he'll j-just hat-hate me for-forever!"
With that I throw Ash's notebook across the hallway, until it collided with the wall across from me with a loud slapping sound and lands on the ground in defat, wide open, the pages fluttering as they settle down after he sudden movements. I grit my teeth, that hadn't diminished any of my anger towards it, getting on all fours I crawl over to it, snatch it up and grip one of the many pages, and prepare to rip it harshly out, but then I stop.
Taking a moment to look at the notebook, I noticed something. Wiping away the tears from my eyes I realize that when I threw it, the pages had fallen in a way to that I was now peering down at the few final pages of Ash's personal thoughts. It was the beginning of a recent entry; in fact it the last entry that I never got to read that night when I found out Ash had secret feelings for me. Swiping my hands across the face, not caring how it burned on contact, I lean back on my knees and allow myself one last guilty pleasure to read the final entry of Ash's notebook.
Today was a rough day. I'm supposed to be sleeping but every time I close my eyes they pop open again, because I can't seem to get my mind off Iris…and how empty the campsite feels without her. I still can't believe that she left, Iris, the one girl that I really liked and thought I had a chance with ditched me, and all my fault! We got into a huge fight and all because I got pissed off that I missed my chance in capturing a super rare Pokemon, Dunsperce, and even thought it wasn't his fault I blamed Axew for getting in the way. I was kinda startled when she got mad at me and at first I thought it was because I had accuse Axew for what had happened, but that's when I realized the flowers, the pretty pink ones she had picked and placed in her pretty purple hair and loved so much, were laying on the ground crushed! During what had happened I hardly even noticed how when I bumped into Iris and knocked the flowers from her hair, I had accidently landed on her flowers and ruined them. She didn't say anything at first as she picked up the remains, but as she walked past me, looking sad and upset, I couldn't help but feel guilty. I tried to say something to Iris, anything that could make her feel better, but I froze up, like I always do when talking to her, and looked like a complete idiot! I tried to make Iris feel better by giving her some of these apples Pikachu had spotted, but in the end Iris got even more ticked off, because the apple I gave her was horribly sour! Iris started yelling and called me a big baby and then things just went downhill from there and our fight came to end with Iris declaring that she didn't want to travel with me anymore!
Tears start to form again, but this time not out of sadness but now because of…well I don't really know why. Maybe it was because that I was reading about how Ash felt during that huge fight we had over that stupid Dunsperce or perhaps reading this reminded me of how terrible I felt about my actions when I had yelled at him over some dumb flowers and a sour apple. Scrubbing the salty liquid away I continue to read, my interest growing somewhat as I noticed Ash's angry tone, in the writing, starts to change in the next paragraph.
At first I was too angry to care about Iris leaving but as soon as dinner rolled around I was starting to feel really bad and stared to miss Iris, a lot. And just because of that, I've deicide to sleep up in a tree, like she does, in hopes of making me feel better, but all it does is make me miss my crush even more! I miss her pretty smile. I miss her gorges big brown eyes. I miss her playful attitude. I miss those perfect sweet berries she would always pick for everyone. Damn! I can't believe how bad I messed up! I wish I could just take back all those things I said to her, and make her happy again! Maybe…if I do happen to see her again I could apologize and…possibly even tell her how I feel about her? No, Iris probably won't even want to look at me, since I made her so pissed at me, I wouldn't be surprised if she never talked to me again!
Damn it! All I'm doing is making myself feel worse and worse, not to mention I'm making that pain in my heart worse too. Huh, I wonder if this is the same feeling Brock gets when he would constantly get rejected by a Nurse Joy or Officer Jenny, I think he called this feeling heartbreak. I hate this feeling, not only because it feels weird, it's making me cry! I never cry…or at least I tell myself that. I know I shouldn't cry, but I can't help it. I don't think I can write anymore, I'm just gonna try to go to sleep and stop my tears. But I really do miss Iris, the girl I love, but may never see again.
(Tg2012: yeah I know episode were Ash and Iris got into that big fight, and was the cutest negaishipping episode ever, happened way after the Pokemon League but I had to add this, you'll see as you read on)
My hands clutch the book, I can't pull my eyes away, not even when my tears fall and leave wet stains that soak into the pages and disfigure the words, written in on it. I was frozen, I couldn't move, I was still in shock because of how befuddled I feel.
'Ash was so ticked off at me that day' I think to myself, my fingers clutching the book tighter, causing the pages to crinkle loudly, as if crying out for mercy but I don't release the book as I remises on that horrible day. The day I thought I would leave Ash, along with our friendship, forever. 'But now that I think about it…even after all that pointless bickering…Ash was able to forgive me and I forgave him…' slowly I let my fingers unfurl, allowing the green blue note book to fall from my hands and hit the tile floor with a dull clatter.
My hands now free, I reach up and gently run them through my hair, letting my hand get tangled in the my long purple locks right at the spot where I had placed the bright pink flower Ash gave me that day we forgave each other.
'Ash forgave me…not only because we're friends…also because he loves me…'
Suddenly I gasp and realization slaps me hard in the face. Throughout all of Ash's entrees he would always mention something about me, and go on and on about how much he loved me, and as I let my eyes scan the page again and as I finish realization got the opportunity backhand me.
'It's just so obvious…that whatever happens between us, wither it be a rerated argument over a missed chance of catching a Dunsperce or crushed flowers, Ash's love towards me…never seems to lessen or waver in any at all…He still loves me. And if Ash can still had these feelings for me after that dumb fight…then is it still possible…for him to give me a second chance after he saw me…'
But the thought went unfinished as I was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to burst into to tears again, but due to all the crying I've been doing all day my tear ducts couldn't produce even one salty drop. So I just sat there, on my knees, in the darken hallway, my face buried in my hands as I sniffled and whimpered uncontrollably, as if doing this would suffice to the action of crying.
'No, Iris stop! Stop this blubbering right now!' My conscience echoes sternly in my head. 'Yes, that fact that Ash may still love you, despite that he saw you kiss that Mitchel guy, is a great discovery, but crying over it won't do anything! Besides in Ash's eyes, he still thinks that you don't love him.' Then as if to emphasize the point, the images of Ash crying right after Pikachu had Thunderbolted that jerk into next week, emerges from my memory bank and flashes before my eyes. 'Now you may have dug yourself into pretty deep of a hole, but you can still pull yourself out of there, Iris and fix everything!'
Slowly I lift my head from my trembling hands, my conscience, no matter how annoying and guilty it may make me feel at times, was right. I could, no I am going to fix this! The friendship I had tirelessly built with Ash, piece by piece, building around the ups and downs we face together, was starting to crumble apart, and could collapse at any given moment, but for some reason I knew it couldn't fall apart, not while the foundation of love, that we felt for one another kept everything stable. (Tg2012: wow that was deep…) However, if I procrastinate in coming clean with Ash, and don't tell him everything, including my once unknown feelings of love towards him, there was no doubt in my mind that everything between us will be gone forever!
"Since this all started because of me," I say, in a volume so only I can hear myself speak, as I get to my feet. "I'm going to have to make the first move to make this right."
With that thought in mind I take up a run, navigating my way through the dark hallways until I'm back where I started. Standing before the door of Ash's room. I feel my nerves tingle, threatening to resurface and possibly make my choice of going in waver, but I shove my emotions aside and proceed in sucking in a large breath and barge into the room.
"Ash, I have something really important to tell you, and I don't care if you don't want to talk to me, but I'm not shutting up until I…I…" I suddenly feel stupid, because Ash hadn't heard a single word that had just left my mouth, for they had fallen upon deaf ears.
Looking around I see that Nurse Joy was nowhere in sight, the lamp still illuminated the room in it's annoyingly bright light but allowed me to see that my crush was in the previous state I had found him. Fast asleep, snoring softly in his cute way, completely consumed in his dreams and absolutely oblivious to the distress message that I was dying to tell him!
"Damn, those pills Nurse Joy gave you work fast," I grumble to myself as I glare at the orange cylinder container that still sat on the nightstand.
Wither Ash was dead asleep or not, I wasn't going to back down from doing this, to when I've come this far! So without hesitation, or any mercy, I grab Ash by the shoulder and shake him as hard as I can. As I shake, I bite my lip. Was I really ready to tell Ash everything? How would he react? Will this truly make everything better? I shook my head; I wouldn't be worrying not now, especially when Ash won't wake up!
"Come on Ash, wake up!" I nearly yell, but Ash doesn't respond to my pleading, instead he just lazily shrugs away from my hand and goes right on sleeping. Why did, Arceus have to make him such a heavy sleeper?!
I sigh in defeat. Now what? If Ash didn't wake up, how could I fix this? I feel anger burn in my chest, I was losing my nerve! If I didn't do this now, I'd never would!
"Well...at least I'll be able to give this back to him," I whisper to myself, looking down at the notebook entitled 'Travels in Unova' that I still held in my hands. I reach out, about to place it on the nightstand, removing the accursed thing from my life forever when suddenly an idea appears in my head. "Wait…if I can't tell Ash everything verbally…" I start, as I glance back at his sleeping figure and then back at the green blue notebook, my idea growing. "Then maybe I could just…"
I don't even finish my sentence as I take Ash's notebook and franticly look about until I lay my eyes on a pen. After grabbing it, I open Ash's notebook I flip past all his personal written thoughts, not stopping to reread anything, until I'm at the very last page. I stare at the blank sheet; it stares back at me, as if daring me to do what I was pondering on doing. Uncapping the pen and placing it's tip onto the paper, I hesitate, hand shaking before I start to write.
Ash, it's me Iris. Sorry for writing in your notebook, I know it's really important to you, but I had to do this. It's just that I didn't know any other way to say that I'm sorry…
After that first line, I write my heart out, my words flow onto the page like a waterfall. As I right, I feel heart pound as the scratching of the pen on the paper fills my ears, I was confessing everything. I wrote down why his notebook went missing, the fact that I read every single page of his personal thoughts, that I lost it and had to battle that guy Mitchel for it back, most importantly I clarified that the kiss he saw me giving to Mitchel was all his doing not mine. By the time I get to the bottom of the page, my hand is cramped up but I feel better now that I've indirectly told Ash everything…well almost everything. Slowly I write out the last few words.
I hope you can forgive me for being such a nosey and terrible friend Ash, but I am really, really (add one thousand more reallys) sorry. I should had just left your notebook alone like you told me to, but on the bright side (if there's even a bright side) if I hadn't gone snooping through your stuff, I wouldn't have learned that you love me. And if I didn't know that I wouldn't be able to return your feelings. Yeah, Ash…I love you to. I just hope what I did, didn't change anything between us.
~Your friend (or maybe ex-friend) Iris.
I finish signing my name at the bottom, and let the pen fall from my clammy hands as it clatters to the floor, I slap the notebook closed, just so I couldn't get tempted to rip out the page were I had written my apology. As my fingertips slid off it's cool cover I heave I sigh, a sigh of relief and…unhappiness. Unhappiness? Stunned at my own emotions, my hand reaches up and rests itself right over my beating heart. No…how could I be feeling unhappy?! I had just rid myself of the abomination that had been filling my life with the joy of knowing about Ash's love towards me, and the stress of me being on edge on how to react and for when I had lost it! All of this in only two days! I even, indirectly, confessed to my crush everything that I did, and expressed about how I had feelings for him too…but then why? Why, Arceus, why do I still feel the burden of everything still pressing down my shoulders?! But then it hit me, yes I had written everything down, but my note was nothing unless Ash saw it.
"Ugghh!" I growl as I grab my tangled hair in frustration. Why does love have to be so complicated! Ash had to see my note, but I couldn't wake him up, besides Ash is never happy when someone disturbs his sleep and if he sees it's me who's waking him up, he'll probably just be even more irked at me! On the other hand if Ash doesn't wake up from dream land, how else and I suppose to-
"Iris,"
I yelp in shock and whirl around so fast that I knock Ash's notebook from it's spot on the nightstand, but I don't bother to pick it up. I had a pissed off, sleep deprived Nurse Joy standing at the doorway, giving me and evil eye.
"I-I…just I was only in h-here be-because I-"
"Please, I don't have the patience to hear any excuses."
"B-But, Nurse Joy I-"
"I said no excuses. Just leave. Now."
I flinch, there was no way I would able to explain anything to Nurse Joy. Not when she was sleep deprived and cranky. So lowering my head, I scuffle out the room, and into the darkness of the hallway. I continue through the darkness, to my room, my mind abuzz with questions and worry about what tomorrow may bring. When I climb back in bed, snuggled in my blankets, Axew cuddled in my arms, I stare at the alarm clock, hoping that watching time pass would lure my troublesome brain into the pleasures of dream land.
At the moment the clock reads 11:45 pm.
The last time my brain registers is 4:56 am, before my exasperated brain finally gives into my fatigue and I finally nod into an unsettling slumber.
Morning come all too soon for my liking. Not only did I barely get five hours of sleep, Axew drooled all in my hair last night so I had to spend a tortuous hour and a half washing my hair. My arms, now numb from all the scrubbing they had to endure, feel like cooked spaghetti.
"I wonder what I'd look like with short hair…" I say to myself as I placed my last hair tie and place. I let my sore arms go slack at my sides as I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and frown. Dark circles lined themselves under my bloodshot eyes, making me look like a raccoon that had salt thrown in it's eyes. My hair wasn't as messy, but it sure as hell wasn't presentable, I was so exhausted that I had made my two side pigtails lopsided! "Damn, saying that I looked like I got hit by a herd of Bouffalant last night was an understatement." I grumble running a hand over my face before trudging towards the door.
In my exhausted, the walk down the hallway is a lazy one. I go with one of my shoulders rubbing against the wall and my arms crossed over my chest as I look at my walking feet with my half lidded eyes. I don't dare look up, not only did I not want to see by passers looks of confusion but I also didn't want the image of the hallway, bathed in the morning sunlight, to seep into my memory bank. All that would do would bring the events from last night flooding back.
I give my head a quick shake, waking myself up at bit. "No, Iris. Yesterday was in the past; today's a brand new day waiting to be lived!" Forcing a smile on my face I give another nod of my head, as if trying to convince myself of this, and head towards the breakfast area of the Pokémon Center.
"Well, well, well, looks like our sleepy head finally deiced to emerge from it's cave." Cilan teases as I plop down in my chair.
I really wasn't in the mood for Cilan's jokes so I just mutter out a nice response. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sleep in so late." Cilan sets a plate in front of me; it's piled high in scrambled eggs and three perfect squares of French toast dusted in powder sugar. Grabbing the maple syrup I douse my French toast in it and proceed in shoving a forkful into my awaiting mouth.
"Huh, well a polite thank you wouldn't have been too hard to give." Cilan muttered out.
I fight the urge to roll my eyes; I really didn't have the energy to put up with Cilan and his good manners bullshit. I just continue to eat, not caring how I my chin was getting smudged with the maple syrup, well not until it dripped and splattered right onto my crème colored sleeve. I grumble to myself in utter annoyance and snatch up a napkin, but right before I try and make an attempt to get the rid my sleeve of the sticky substance, I suddenly become frozen stiff as I just stare at the splotch on my sleeve.
The splotch of maple syrup was a perfect orb shape and was a wonderful shade of amber. It was the same shiny amber color of Ash's eyes. Oh his eyes, I missed getting lost them like I had that morning we watched that gorges sunrise together, but at the moment I could dare look Ash in the eyes. Even if I did, I would be too afraid that I might see the emotion of sorrow…or worse anger.
"Iris, that maple syrup is going to leave a nasty stain on your sleeve if you don't wipe it off." I blink as I see Cilan reach down, napkin in hand, and then start to rub at my sleeve.
"Cilan!" I say, roughly grabbing his wrist and yanking his napkin holding hand off my sleeve.
"Iris, what was that for?" Cilan asks, his eyebrow furrowing in confusion at my reaction.
"It's just that I…" I look at my sleeve, only to find that Cilan had succeeded in banishing the maple syrup from the crème colored fabric. I sigh, and yes I know it's pitiful but that splotch of maple syrup was the only thing that brought a brief moment of happiness when I thought of my raven haired crush. "Never mind…just forget it…" I push my plate aside, no longer having an appetite, fold my arms on the table and burry my head in them.
I could feel Cilan looking down at me in confusion, and I was just waiting for him to ask what was wrong but before anything left the connoisseur's mouth another voice was heard.
"Hey, you two." I peek up and see Virgil approaching our table. He takes a seat in the chair across from me and gives a strange look up on my slouching appearance. "Iris, what's up with the gloomy attitude?"
Lifting my head, so only my brown eyes were visible, and give Virgil a death glare.
I guess it was more intimidating than I thought, because Virgil sweatdropps and holds his hands up in a defensive manner, "Whoa, okay sorry, Iris. I know better than to poke at the angry bear." He turns to Cilan and flashes a grin. "Geez, you should of warned me Iris acts all bitchy when she on her monthly cycle."
I blink at Virgil. Does he really think my period has something to do with the way I'm acting? Well…I wouldn't blame him since he didn't know the really reason, but still! Seriously, that guy can be such a little kid!
Cilan can't help but give a smirk. "Well, I'm not sure if that's the real reason, for Iris's sour mood but-"
"It's not." I say, my voice muffled by my arms as I intensifying my glare. "I…just didn't get enough sleep last night."
"Oh, is that all?" Virgil questions.
"Yes." I answer. "Is there a problem with that?"
"No, no, not at all." Cilan answered. "It's just that when you don't get enough sleep, you're cranky, but you're never this cranky."
"What would you know, Cilan?" I snap, lifting my head and crossing my arms over my chest. "I had a ton of things on my mind last night and I it kept me up and now I'm sleep deprived." I notice Virgil smirk and I turn to him. "What are you smiling about?" I demand.
The smirk is quickly replaced with a full blown grin. "Oh it's nothing Iris I-"
"No, it's something." I counter as slap my hands on the table, with anger that I couldn't find the source to, and causing my plate to jump somewhat. "Now spill, what is it?"
Placing his hand on his chin, and then giving an irritating smirk Virgil answers, "I was just wondering if you were being kept up last night by that scenario thing Cilan told me about."
In an instant I'm on my feet, hands clutching the table, as this information sinks in. Cilan did what?! Why?! And out of all people why Virgil?! I wanted to scream, but I was too shell shocked and my voice box couldn't produce any sound. So instead I snap my head over and stare, wide eyed at my green haired friend.
Cilan seems unaware of my internal horror and just shrugs in a nonchalant manner. "Don't tell me you forgot about it the scenario you gave me yesterday, Iris. It was about person A and person B and about that box that held a secret-"
"I know, I know! You don't have o refresh my memory!" I snap, glaring at him to indicate my anger. "But why did you tell him about it?!" I ask pointing an accusing finger to Virgil.
"The scenario was challenging and it was bothering me on how I couldn't think up a realistic conclusion for it." Cilan indicates to the Pokemon Rescuer. "So I asked Virgil his opinion on it so-"
I don't let him finish, all the anger that had been bottled up inside me for the past few days finally boils over. "AUGH! You stupid little kid! You weren't supposed to tell this to anyone about the scenario!" I inform, throwing my arms the air to emphasize how displeased I was with my connoisseur friend.
Taking aback by my reaction Cilan fidgets with his bowtie. "Oh…well I had no idea." He sweatdropps. "Besides you never said that scenario was supposed to say classified.
I clamp my hands over my face and groan loudly. Damn it he was right, I hadn't said anything about keeping it a secret!
"I mean even if it was supposed to stay a secret there was no way Cilan could have known." I hear Vigril's voice point out. "According to him, you went running past him, bailing your eyes out like…like a little kid."
I feel my insides grow hot and my anger builds up again as I listen to Virgil laugh at what he just said. How dare he call me a little kid! That was my job! My hands curl in on themselves and pull themselves from my face. Taking a small breath I mutter out the only words I could. "Do you have any idea how important that scenario is to me?"
Apparently my voice was too soft because Virgil leans forwards, his hand cupped around his ear, "I'm sorry what did you say, Iris?"
Not taking the time to ponder if he was just teasing me or not, I let my anger explode. Without warning I lunge for him and my fist closes around the collar of the Pokemon Rescuer's orange vest, I yank him up from his chair and repeat myself. "I SAID, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IMPORTANT THAT DAMN SCENARIO IS TO ME?!"
"H-Hey whoa, ca-calm down I-Iris!" Virgil stammers as he squirms in my grip. "I-I was trying t-to help Cilan!"
"WELL THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER!" I shout in a volume that allowed everyone within a few feet radius to hear, only for them to turn and look at the scene I was instigating, but I couldn't care less if everyone was staring. I needed to vent out all my anger. "ALL THIS SCENARIO CRAP DOES IS REMINDING ME AT HOW MUCH OF A FREAKING JERK I WAS TO AS- I MEAN PERSON A AND HOW I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO TELL HIM MY TRUWE FEELINGS! I JUST WANTED TO-"
"Um…Ir-Iris?" a voice suddenly says
"WHAT?!" I shout and turn my attention to the owner of voice. But I instantly regret doing so, because standing there…well more like sitting there in a wheelchair was Ash. A shockwave of embarrassment ripples through my body as I become aware of the expression of confusion that was displayed my crush's face, I glance back at Virgil and feel my cheeks flush at the position my anger had put me in. I unclench my fist, causing Virgil to drop back into his chair, and slowly turn to face the boy with the dark raven hair, but like I said before looking him in the eyes was too much of a daunting task so I settle with eyeing the bright red cast around his injured leg. "Hi, As-Ash…I-I was just erm t-talking w-with V-Virgil-"
"Talking? Tch, it was more like trying to strangle and blow my ear drums out at eh same time." Virgil mutters behind my back. I ignore him.
"Yeah…anyways, Iris is it okay if I talk to you?" A gasp escapes me and my eyes dart up to look briefly at Ash, but just as quickly as I glanced at him I turned my eye back to his cast. He wanted to talk? Like have and actually full on conversation? I mean I was stunned enough that he said my name, but now Ash wants to talk?!
"But Ash…aren't you still mad at me?" I question. "I mean, yesterday I overheard you saying that you never wanted to speak to me again…" The words fall lifelessly from my lips and fills the surrounding area with this feeling of dread and concern. It was as if everyone, including myself, was waiting to see how Ash would respond.
Clearing his throat I hear Ash mutter out. "Actually t-that's what I-I kinda wanted to talk about…" My ears perk up when he says this, because for some reason Ash's tone made it sound that those words were hard to say.
Still looking at anything but Ash, I give a nod of my head, telling him to proceed in talking, but to my surprise the cast wearing boy says nothing at all. "Um, Ash aren't you g-going to say so-something?"
"Yeah, but er…not here…I kinda want to talk to you um, alone."
"A-Al-Alone?" I repeat, my voice shaking with utter disbelief.
Alone. Ash wants to be alone, with me?! Just to…talk?! The very thought of it causes my heart rate to quicken and my face to grown warm, but I quickly push that …no, I must have heard him wrong. There's no way on this green earth that could have said that. I mean yesterday he was yelling that he never wanted to see me again and last night he got pissed just because I was in the same room as him! Ash must be lying!
To see if this was true or not, I lift my head and look at Ash, scanning his face for any signs of dishonesty but…there was none. He was just sitting there, fidgeting with his finger with that ever so cute blush coloring z marked cheeks. Noticing me looking at him, Ash catches my gaze, his amber eyes lock with my chocolate brown ones, and as I stare not only do I blush like mad, I realize something. In his eyes I don't see a speck of sadness, or a glimmer of anger…all I see are those memorizing amber brown eyes that I've missed gazing into.
"Well…is that okay with Iris?" Ash's question pulls me from my trance and back into reality. "If no-now's not a g-good time I c-can wait until la-later-"
"No, no, no!" I say shaking my head.
At this I see Ash's face fall. "Oh well okay then…"
"Oh, sorry I didn't mean no as I didn't want to talk! I'd love to talk now, Ash it's totally fine!" I clarify, as my cheeks burn at how stupid I'd just sounded.
"Oh, well great." Ash gives a smile of his own, as he swivels his wheelchair around. "Come on we can talk back in my room." He starts back down the hallway, beckoning me to follow.
"Have fun you two." Cilan calls after us in a teasing tone.
"Yeah, and Ash be careful of what you say." Virgil warns. "The last thing you want is to get you neck snapped by a PMSing Iris!"
I stiffen and flash him a death, but this only causing him to laugh.
"PMSing?" Ash inquires, glancing up at me. "What's that?"
I sweatdrop and go red in the face. "I-It's nothing!" I stammer out, and silently thank Arceus for only giving Ash limited knowledge about females. I grab the handles of the wheelchair and give him a push. "Go ahead of me, I'll meet you at your room, there's something I need to take care of." I say, glaring at the laughing Pokémon Rescuer.
What did I do you may ask? Well let's just say, as soon as Ash was out of sight, I made sure Virgil had a face full of the delicious breakfast Cilan made me, topped off with a pitcher full of ice cold orange juice down his shirt. What? Like Virgil said, he should have known better than to poke the anger bear. (TG2012: AHAHA...I love teasing Virgil)
Silence.
Heavy thick unbearable silence hangs in the air.
It's almost enough to suffocate me, but I endure it, along with my fluttery stomach and burning face, I had to know what Ash wanted to talk about. So, I just sat in the chair next to the bed Ash was lying on, doing nothing but stewing in my own thoughts waiting for Ash to say something. Anything actually, for Arceus sakes, he hadn't said a word for the past ten minutes at the suspense was enough to kill me. What was he thinking?! UGH!
Honestly I wanted to explode and call Ash a little kid for dragging me in a private place to talk even though he wasn't talking, but I push my anger aside and take a deep breath and let it out in a nosy cough. This makes Ash flinch somewhat and he pulls his attention away from the window he had been gazing at for the longest of times.
"Oh, um sorry." I say to him, seeing that I now got his attention. "So um, wh-what did you want t-to talk about Ash?"
I watch Ash squirm a little, and inwardly smile as his face turns a dark shade of pink. "Um…I didn't mean t-to keep you w-waiting, Iris…I just that I really d-didn't sort out all my thoughts before I-I asked if you w-wanted to talk…pretty stupid right?" Ash jokes as he gives a lopsided smile.
"Oh, no it's perfectly fine." I reassure him with a grin.
Ash doesn't seem to think the same as he heaves a sigh, and runs a hand through his messy raven hair, which forces me to look away to keep my face from melting off from how hard I'm blushing. "I-I don't see why this is so hard." Ash mutters out, glancing at me.
"Well, if it's hard…just stop beating around the bush and come out and say it." I advise.
Ash hesitates, seems to agree because suddenly he bluntly states. "I'm sorry Iris."
"W-What?" was the only response I can give out of pure confusion. I arch an eyebrow. "Why a-are you apologizing Ash?"
"Well...just because for the way I-I acted yesterday…" Ash answers his eyes downcast. "What you heard me telling Cilan…well I mean I-I only said it because I-I was mad. I didn't mean any of it, I swear. Besides we're friends…and friends don't say that they never want to talk again, right?"
I nod, "Right." I answer and reach out and place a hand on Ash's shoulder. I feel him stiffen and I notice his face going redder than ever as he darts those beautiful eyes over at me. "But there's really no reason for you to be apologizing Ash…" I bite my lip and briefly debate in my head wither or not if I should bring the whole Mitchel thing up, but at this point I don't really see why not. "It's me who should be saying sorry, because what you saw yesterday…you know when I was kissing that random dude that Pikachu Thuderbolted and-"
"Iris, you don't have to explain yourself." Ash suddenly says, shrugging my hand off his shoulder. He glances at me and I feel my heart sink as I notice the expression of sadness reflecting in his amber eyes. "If you liked that guy…then I really have no right in um…keeping you two apart." I can see this is hard for Ash to say, and I try to stop him to tell him the truth but Ash won't let me say a word until he's finish. "I'm also sorry for having Pikachu Thunderbolt him…I j-just didn't like…um I-I mean…" I see Ash flush red, it was obvious he was trying to tell me he didn't like the sight of me locking lips with that dude.
"B-But Ash you don't understand-"
"No Iris, I understand. I know love when I see it…"
"Ash, that's not what happened I-"
"Iris could you just stop it!" Ash snaps, anger tinting his voice as he turns to the window again. "I-I just don't want to talk about you kissing that guy anymore okay."
"No, Ash we're going to talk about." I say firmly as I grab his shoulder and force him to look at me.
"Iris I already said-"
"I care what you said, Ash you have to know the truth!"
Ash blinks at me. "The…truth? Iris what are you-"
I don't let his sentence come to a close as I take a breath and tell Ash what he needed to hear. "Ash that kiss you saw, it wasn't real…okay it was but I didn't even want to kiss him. That jackass Michael pulled me into it!" I confess. "I wasn't even going to have to kiss him since I won the battle he challenged me with."
"Battle?" Ash questioned, now looking more intrigued and bewildered about what I had to say.
"Yeah, I had to battle him." I answer and raise from my chair and start to look around frantically for the one thing I regret taking.
I feel Ash's eyes watching my every movement, "Iris, what are you looking for?" he asks as I check underneath his pillow and then peek under the blankets.
I don't answer, I just continue to look. "Come on, where is it?" I ask myself, feeling a bit panicked that I might have lost it without even trying, but then I something catches my eyes. A flash of green blue pokes out from under Ash's bed, and that reminds me of how I had knocked it off the nightstand when a sleepy and cranky Nurse Joy had nearly scared the living hell out of me.
Not giving it a second thought I pick the notebook entitled Travels of Unova off the floor. "The battle, that kiss all of it was for this." I hold the blue green notebook out to Ash.
"M-My notebook!" Ash cries in what I could only depict as shock. Taking it from me and looking it over Ash seems stunned. "I was looking all o-over for this thing, I thought I l-lost it for good." He looks up at me, a smile playing with his handsome features. "So it turned out that guy…had it all along?" he asks.
I open my mouth, but close it. I could say yes, and take the easy out of this. It was tempting as hell, but I couldn't. I shake my head sadly. "N-No Ash…that guy didn't have it…well not to begin with…"
Ash's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What do you mean, Iris?"
"I…I just I-I mean…" I stammer out, there was no way I could say it so instead I reach forwards and snatch the notebook right out of Ash's h ands.
"Hey! Iris, give that back!" Ash demands, reaching his hands out but I step out of his reach and start to flip through the pages. "IRIS! No, stop it! Th-That's p-personal stuff!"
"Yeah, Ash I know." I respond calmly as I finally flip to the last page. "This is to." I drop the notebook back into his lap, the page full of my handwritten there for him to see.
Ash reaches, about to slap the book shut, when he pauses. "Wait a minute…t-that's not my ha-hand w-writing…"
"But it does happen to be mine." I say softly.
"Y-Yours?" Ash asks, his eyes showing me his bewilderment. "B-But I-I don't understand…"
I take step forwards, and take a seat at Ash's bedside. Looking at my shaking hands I let the words fall from my mouth. "You might not understand yet but…just read that and then you'll know how bad of a friend I've been towards you." I get to my feet but Ash stops me by grabbing my wrist.
"Iris, what's with you?" Ash asks. "You're not a bad friend. What in the world gave you that idea?"
I shake my head, not wanting to say anything more. "That's not important."
"But-"
"Ash, just promise me that…that you'll still be my friend."
"Sure, but you've got to tell me what's going on-MFTH?!"
The rest of his sentence was never spoken as I do something that I've wanted to do since we watched the sunrise together. I dart my head in, cup his z mark cheeks in hands and press my lips against his. My face flares up with blush, but that's quickly overlooked as the wonderful feeling overwhelms me…but then dies when I realize that Ash's lips remained still. Unmoving. Not kissing me back. Rejecting my kiss, just like I had done to him.
Gently I part my lips from him, and glance at his face. He was crimson red, and his pupils were tiny, allowing me only to see that bright amber color that I love so much. Removing my hands and slowly backing away from Ash, who sat paralyzed from my actions, I lower my head, not wanting him to notice the tears that were now blurring my vision.
Sniffling a tiny bit, I mumble out the only words that seemed appropriate at the moment. "I-I…I'm sorry, Ash." Then without thinking I turn and flee for the hallway.
(Ash's POV)
She's gone. Iris just left me wondering what the hell all that meant. And that kiss…oh Arceus her lips tasted like maple syrup…but wait. Damn it…I-I was so shocked, but it that I didn't even kiss her back!
"Iris!" I suddenly say, ignoring the fact that she was already long gone. A sigh deflates my chest. "Please…just come back…" but I knew it was no use. "I'm stupid." I flop on my back, the open notebook falls to the floor.
And whatever words Iris wrote, went unread.
~The End
Okay, now be honest. What did you think of this chapter? Did you love it? Hate it? Found it mediocre? Did I make Iris a little bit bipolar with all the tears and anger? Was it awkward how I gave an Ash POV at the very end? Well whatever you think of it, I hope it was an okay ending. I worked for hours on end to get that chapter the way it is now (and after all that I still don't feel satisfied with it XC). Anywho, the abrupt ending did in fact leave a very big vacancy for a sequel of Hope is Never Broken in which I'll be entitling: Hope is Never Broken: The Recovery….or maybe just The Road to Recovery, IDK I'm still debating on the title. When I'll start typing/piecing the follow up to Hope is Never Broken is still undecided, but I promise I'll get to it…eventually.
But in the mean time I just want to stop and thank you all my favorite/followers and reviews that were ever so patient with me in getting this fanfic finished. I mean it still kinda blows me away, at what was supposed to be a quick little story was turned into this year long thingy that took me forever to finish! Ugh, I'm just praying that writing the next one won't be too challenging! XD
Well that's all I gotta say
Bye: Toadettegirl2012
PS: Please leave me a review! Oh, if you got time to spare would you mind adding which title for the sequel will be better (HINB: The Recovery or The Road to Recovery) and what you would like to see in the sequel as well (it'll help me get the ball rolling and get the first chapter out sooner ;p)! Thanks you all! I give you lots of virtual hugs, kisses and cookies!