Chapter 4

For some reason Stews not able to get any sleep. Usually when she stayed over it took a matter of minutes once her head touched the pillow, relieved to be away from the world of Tess. But tonight her body seemed to be too excited to be a part of someone else's world.

It was nearly 1 in the morning and Stef gave up on going to sleep. With nothing else to do, she did what any restless cop would, surveillance. Going by Lena's room, she wondered if she was having just as much trouble with sleep as she was. But after working a little further her question was answered.

Lena made her way up the stairs with a cup of tea smiling when she saw Stef by her door. "So I take it that my brother isn't the only one who doesn't know when to stop being a cop"

Slightly embarrassed to being caught, Stef just blushed looking at this beautiful woman. "I'm also not the only one who couldn't sleep I see". Lena smiled up to her and leaned against the hall wall blowing her tea. "It just seems to be one of those nights", Lena said eyeing Stef in her flannel pajama pants and white tank top.

Stef walked over and leaned her back against the wall right next to Lena. "I'm sorry that I stopped by. I hope that I'm not making any of this awkward or uncomfortable for you. With you being my therapist and all I don't want to cross any lines. I can honestly leave if that's easier".

Lena couldn't think of what to say in response. In all honesty it was like Stef was reading her mind. She knew that having any type of relationship, even a platonic one, was not professional at all. Especially in her line of work. She knew that it was risky. But another part of her wanted it so much, it felt like a burning itch that she couldn't ignore.

"You know, watching movies tends to really help with not being able to sleep", Lena said finally looking into her eyes, smiling at Stef's amused look.

"Ok, but as long as it's not some RomCom," Stef laughed while walking towards the steps to head into the living room.

"Actually, I was thinking of my room. It's more comfortable…if that's ok with you". Lena said not sure how Stef would respond.

"Uhm… sure. Yes, uhh after you".

They both made their way to the bed and sat with the backs against the headboard. If they weren't feeling award enough before they definitely were now. Taking initiative Lena turned on one her classic childhood favorites. "The Goonies, really?" Stef laughed.

"Hey this is a classic. Who doesn't love The Goonies" Lena laughed in defense. The she got the deviously guilty look on her face as Stef watched her pull out something from her night stand. "What's a movie without wine and snacks!"

After that they both definitely loosened up more. They probably talked more than they even watched the movie.

"She cheated on you, with your best friend?" Stef said in complete shock, "What bitches!" Lena laughed as she took another sip from the wine bottle.

"So why are you here tonight and not with your fiancé?" Lena said feeling weird remembering Stef is intact engaged to be married.

"I'm not going to get charged for this am I" Stef laughed uncomfortably. She wasn't really in the mood to talk about Tess or her issues.

"Of course not. Just as…friends I guess". Stef looked over to her with a smile. "So you want to be my goonie?" Lena shook her head as she ate some more chips. "Come on Stef. I opened up about myself. Your turn".

"Well, uhh…We just had another disagreement. It's like we don't really bond or connect anymore. It sort of feels like this whole thing is some sort of arrangement. Overtime I'm off in the evening I try to take her out and do something but she rather go with her friends. It's hard because I love, love. I love to give it, I love to watch it manifest, I love to make it. But it's like no one wants to do the same when it comes to me. I just want to be with someone willing to share that love".

The more Stef spoke the more frustrated and made she got all over again. And Lena's heart just swelled for her. Looking over she watched Stef fidgeting with herself, clenching her hands and cracking her knuckles. Already she knew that Stef wasn't 100% comfortable with opening up. But at least she was making an effort. Lena reached over and grabbed one of Stef's hands, gently massaging it to get her to calm down. And surprisingly it worked.

After realizing that she was holding on a little too long she let go. But at the expense of Stef now wanting it to happen again. It was as if she was being touched by an angel. For that moment everything felt alright. But she decided that she could still be ok with carrying on their conversation.

"You should get out more on your free weekends. All work and no play really sucks, I've been there" Stef said taking the wine bottle from Lena and taking a sip herself.

"Well, with all work I don't tend to have too many friends besides Kelly. And she has an entire family that she is taking care of".

"Well I'm not sure how you feel about hanging out with your brother. But Nate and I seem to find fun things to do…"

"I don't think that would be appropriate Stef. I'm…"

"But what if you weren't my therapist," Stef interrupted.

Lena just smiled and looked towards the movie. If she wasn't her therapist then they would be doing other things right now.

Dropping it for now they carried on with other light conversation. But now further into the movie they were definitely feeling the affects of all of the wine. They sat in silence, watching the movie but trapped in their own thoughts.

Becoming sleepy Lena shifted about more towards the center of the bed. But in her efforts to get comfortable her hand lightly bumped into Stef's. She froze a bit, trying to convince her body to move away. But all of the liquid courage that she consumed had other plans. She sat up a little more and slyly moved her hand on tops of Stef's.

But Stef has been watching her this whole time. And knew that if Lena didn't do it then she was going to grab her hand herself. She rotated her hand, palm up, and held Lena's tight. Giving her a quick smile. Feeling her own courage growing she voiced what has been replaying in her mind, "Lena, I hope that you know that you are a very beautiful woman". Lena's heart was beating out of her chest as she laughed nervously.

"I know I know. I have to relax. Professionalism". Stef smiled letting go go Lena's hand.

"You are very attractive too Stef. And I want it to go on record that I at least really like the short hair".

"Yeah?"

"Yes".

They both were relishing in the full extent of their alcoholic haze. Their breathing began to quicken the longer they looked into the other's eyes. But when Lena felt herself gradually leaning towards Stef she moved to lay towards the opposite end of the bed. But after a moment Stef did the same.

Lena laid her head down on her crossed arms and turned to watch Stef doing the same. Stef reached up and gently moved her curls behind her ear. "I really like your hair too". So many thoughts were speeding through Stef's mind as she watched Lena's eyes flutter close with a smile still on her face as Stef continued to softly touch the side of her face.

But when her eyes went to her lips, she couldn't think if it was the wine or this new feeling but she wanted Lena and bad. Yet she knew that this had to stop immediately. She abruptly got up causing Lena to sit up herself. "Are you ok?" Lena said confused as to what happened.

"Yes, I think it's time for me to go to bed. Good night Lena"

The moment Stef left her room, it was like Lena finally gained some clarity. They were taking things way to far past the line. And Stef was probably regretting the whole thing. She knew that this couldn't happen again.

The next morning, Stef was woken up by the smell of bacon and pancakes. As she began to make her way down the stairs she was intercepted by Nate. "Hey what happened last night?" Nate said giving Stef a weird look.

"Referring to what exactly?" Stef said a bit thrown off by his question.

"Well my sister left this note saying that she's went back home early. She didn't even bother to wake me up".

For some reason Stef felt both guilty and hurt. She wanted to see Lena, she craved for her. But she was worried that her abrupt actions when leaving her room might have hurt her feelings. Or that Lena felt as though they were doing something that she regretted. But Stef didn't regret any of it. And really hoped that Lena didn't as well.