When April finds herself in bed that night, she can't sleep first thing. It doesn't take long for her to roll over and pull out her laptop, squinting at the bright glare that it created in the darkness while she waited for her vision to adjust. Pulling up her rarely used Facebook page, there's a notification sitting for her in the corner.
One new friend request.
Her mouse dragged across the screen as she clicked on it, not particularly surprised with the name that popped up. Jackson Avery. Of course.
April clicked accept immediately before opening up his profile and allowing herself to examine it. His profile picture was a respectable, high-quality photo of him in scrubs and a lab coat and looking away from the camera with a defined smile on his cheeks. A perfect photo, really, much better than the year-old selfie that she had as her own. Some of the details she already knew, his workplace and current location obviously enough, single something assumed. She hadn't known that he'd gone to undergrad at UCLA or medical school at Harvard. Certainly hell of impressive credentials.
Scrolling continues, taking a jealous pause as he noticed a picture of him with two stunning women, looking clearly comfortable. Two more clicks and she's spiraling into full stalker mode, over examining all of his recent photos with clearly beautiful women.
An agitated sigh fell from her lips and she quickly shut her laptop, placing it on the nightstand and falling back against her pillow. Her eyes shut.
But she doesn't fall asleep immediately, as much as she may have wanted to or even needed to for the next day of work. Instead, all she can think about is the gorgeous women, younger and older, that Jackson must have surrounded himself with. The way that he had talked about it seemed so courteous and professional, nothing gross about it like she would have assumed on her own lack of knowledge. And yet it doesn't seem impersonal or like a job looking at those photos of him beaming. Surely he had to enjoy it more than just from the goodness of his heart. Maybe it's wrong of her to assume, but it's the only thing that she can think about when she finally drifted off into a sleepless dream.
When Jackson's alarm buzzed in the morning, snooze is the first thing that gets hit on his phone. Ten minutes later and he's finally rubbing the back of his eyes, stretching out and popping his back as a part of his normal morning routine.
The first notification on his phone is a text from April, asking if he's available for lunch. It's his day off from his hospital job, and his other job had him booked for the evening. No reason to reject her, so he doesn't. A time and place was quickly established between the two of them before he set off to his lazier morning routine, hopping in the shower and mindlessly watching the news as he had coffee for breakfast and cleaned up his apartment as much as necessary.
A few minutes before noon, they meet at a local diner. She's already at a booth in the window when he gets there.
"Hey," Jackson greeted her as he walked up and sat down. Menus were out and two glasses of water already poured were at the table. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long." He apologized as he offered one of his signature, charming smiles.
"You didn't, no worries. I was glad that you could come in the first place. Sorry that it was so last minute, I normally like to plan a little more." April offered an apology of her own with a sincere smile, her bottom lip just barely pulling between straight teeth. Maybe she'd been a little too obsessive with the social media stalking last night, but one she'd started... well, it'd been hopeless from there.
Small talk is interrupted by the appearance of their waitress asking if they'd like any more drinks or appetizers, both getting shot down. There's a small lull as they each look over the menu, Jackson eventually ordering a burger and April settling on a soup and salad.
"Do you mind if I ask you something?" April questioned when the menus are taken away and she figured that they had a few minutes to themselves without the worry of being interrupted. The diner is noisy enough that she doesn't think much about the possibility of being overheard by the people around them. It's his secret, after all, not hers. That in itself makes it easier to be a little less careful with.
"Sure. I think the point of dating is getting to know each other, anyways." Jackson offered.
April hadn't been quite sure whether or not they were at the point of calling this a date, but hearing the word come from his mouth instead of her own first settled that inquiry by itself. One thing checked off the list, too bad they were still a hundred things left to go. The one at the forefront of her mind could only be held off for so long before it was burst out inappropriately, and she knew that she needed to go forward with it sooner rather than later. A deep breath filled her lungs as she attempted to give herself a little more bravery before she continued, not wanting to say the wrong thing and risk offending him and screwing things up. Even if she didn't know quite how to feel about what he was doing outside of the hospital, he seemed like a good guy. A kind man. Not one to cast aside solely from judgment, at least.
"This... what you do, do you enjoy it?" Fail. Not at all what she'd intended to ask, but she was at least warming up to it. April doesn't make an attempt to correct herself just yet, giving him the chance to answer.
"Yeah. For the reasons I already told you, y'know. I enjoy making people feel better about themselves."
April stilled for a moment as if she was unsatisfied with the answer, but it wasn't the case. She was frustrated by her own ability to say what she wanted to say. Fingers pinched the top of her straw nervously for a moment, moving it around the ice in the plastic glass.
"What about the sex?" Closer, a bit. But not by much.
"Sure, most of the time. But the focus isn't really about me. And I don't consider myself a prostitute. That's completely different. I know that a lot of people don't see it that way, but what I do is a lot more than just sex." Jackson didn't have it in himself to be defensive about his work just yet. He knew how most people judged, but he fully believed that came from a lack of information or misinformation. On his own terms, he wouldn't contribute to that. Answering questions was his way of hoping for acceptance.
"If you were dating another woman, though, don't you think that's cheating on your girlfriend?"
There's the question that April had been trying to ask, more or less. Jealousy had stirred in the pit of her stomach all night as she thought about Jackson with a variety of other women. There was a difference in knowing that other women found him attractive, and knowing that he was actually sleeping with other women. Maybe it wasn't just straightforward sex, but there seemed like some kind of emotional component. It seemed impossible for that to just be one-sided.
Jackson was surprised by the boldness of the question, but before he gets the chance to interrupt, the waitress returned with their food. They both sat back staring at each other in silence as it's placed down in front of them, muttered thank you's proceeding before they can resume the conversation.
"No. It's just work."
A depersonalized answer, but from his end, it's the truth. April can't bring herself to pick up a spoon or fork for a moment, though her gaze dropped to stare mindlessly at the food in front of her. Silence is enough of response to show that she disagreed, it seems.
He forced back a sigh, not digging into his food yet as he sensed her discomfort. "It's okay to disagree, you know. We don't have to agree about everything. I get this is new to you." It's as understanding of an answer as he can offer, slowly picking up a fry and tossing it into his mouth, beginning to feel as if he was treading into dangerous territory with her.
"I mean... I know it's okay to disagree. Obviously, it is. But I like you, a lot. You seem like a really great guy," she takes a deep breath with a heavy pause filling the gap between her words. "And I'd like to date you. But I don't know how to date you while knowing that you're getting paid to sleep with all these other women. Especially since... I want to wait till marriage. I'm not trying to be judgy about what you do. That's the last thing I'm trying to be." Her eyes finally lifted up as she finished.
"But that just would make me feel inadequate, knowing that you're running off with other women. Like I'm not good enough for you."