Time passed in an utter blur as Jackson remained vigilant at April's bedside. His only distraction was pulling out his phone and looking up more about AFE, trying to find cause or explanation. But every medical website gave the exact same answer. Unpreventable. Unpredictable. Often fatal. Yet he had to still wonder if it led back to something else. Something that was his fault.
The only piece of luck that they seemed to have thus far was the fact that it hadn't affected the baby. Their little girl was healthy by all accounts and standards. Seven pounds and two ounces of health.
Jackson hadn't been able to talk himself into going up to visit their unnamed daughter just yet, though. She would be there. Nurses and other NICU staff were watching her, making sure that she was alright. People loved babies. But right now he was the only one at April's bedside, the only one looking out for her with every passing second. April deserved just as much attention and care. He had to give that to her. Both hands were wrapped around one of hers, holding onto pale flesh tightly, nearly terrified to let go of her in any sense.
"She's beautiful, April, she looks just like you…" Even if he had barely gotten a glimpse of their daughter in the haste of things, it wasn't going to stop him from talking to her about the baby and everything else. Everything that came to mind. He just wanted her to wake up. Needed her to wake up.
His pleas continued with absolute desperation. Maybe he had never been a holy man but he needed someone, something to be willing to listen. Anything for her.
After what felt like an impossibly long period, April finally began to stir. At first, it's a soft twitch of her fingertips, then discomfort begins to bring around a greater sense of awareness. Sore hips give a slight shift. Then hazel eyes finally open once more to absorb the light and sense of the world around her again, pupils dilating to the brightness above her before finally able to fixate on the man who had remained vigilant at her bedside the entire time.
"April?" Jackson's voice was gentle as he prompted his groggy wife.
"H–hi." The syllable is barely able to get out of dry lips. Quickly, Jackson moved to pour her a cup of water from the container sitting on the nightstand, guiding it to her mouth and holding it there as she took a few swallows.
Once she had taken the water that she needed, he set the cup of water back down but remained standing for a moment. Gently, he stroked her auburn waves of hair, tucking a little bit behind her ear.
"W… what happened?" April was struggling to try and recall everything. "Wh… hospital?" The cocktail of drugs that she was on wasn't helping her mental state in the slightest, and the struggles immediately sent Jackson spiraling down the list of problems that were AFE. Memory problems had been on the list. Among other things.
"You're in the hospital," Jackson answered patiently. "You gave birth. We have a baby, April, a beautiful little girl. And she's got your eyes. Do you remember?"
Her mouth opened and shut again, trying to recall what had happened, struggling to go through the thoughts in her head. She could remember being in a great deal of pain, but it was difficult for her to remember the circumstances or anything else that had happened afterward. She did remember being pregnant, the baby shower vaguely. But she didn't remember her water breaking or being in labor or any of the other complications that had quickly followed.
"Is the baby okay?" April asked instead of answering his question. "I wanna see her."
Jackson nodded quickly. "The baby's good. We… we haven't named her yet. Do you want me to get her?" He asked a bit nervously, not wanting to leave her side, but at the same time wanting to fulfill whatever she requested.
Complying with her request, Jackson quickly made his way up to the NICU. It's a short conversation with one of the nurses to ask about things and make sure that everything was alright, that she was in good condition to take down to see her. She had been brought up to the NICU instead of the regular nursery as a result of her mother's condition and for further monitoring but didn't show signs of any complications from the AFE, much to his relief. Taking her down in one of the portable cribs, he was quick to get back to April's room, surprised and even a little relieved to find that Dr. Montgomery was there as well.
"There you two are," Addison greeted Jackson and the baby as he walked into the room. "I was just explaining to April everything that happened and about some of the tests that we're going to need to run to find out the extent of the damage. We'll have an ANS test done as well as some neuropsychological ones to assess for memory damage. We'll monitor for organ failure as well."
It's a lot to process for the both of them. They understood the full extent of everything that she was saying, the possible complications and the fact that none of them were good. None of those things were minor. The only thing they had on their side now was hope. But even that felt dwindling.
"Thank you," April said quietly. "Can I hold the baby?"
"Yeah," Jackson nodded, stepping up to her and gently lowering their baby girl into her arms. One hand lingered as April's arms wrapped around the baby, a smile softening her tired features. "That's our baby girl." He said, unable to help the sense of pride that had come over him. Even with the complications, she had done an amazing job growing and birthing this little girl. She was beautiful, healthy. And hopefully, her mother would be both of those things again soon.
"I'll give you two a little time with your baby. I'll have someone come by for the tests later." Dr. Montgomery informed them, giving Jackson a gentle squeeze of the shoulder as she passed him and left the room.
The two of them turned their attention to the child completely, for a moment ignoring the list of lingering problems that they still had to worry about and taking simple joy and euphoria at the moment. Jackson was still worried about the state of his wife, all that had to come when it came to getting her assessed, but watching her hold and coo over their newborn baby girl was something that he could take absolute delight in.
"I think I want to name her Nora," April said suddenly, looking up from their daughter and at Jackson for his approval.
"Nora Avery?" He questioned, raising his eyebrows and musing over it a moment before giving a small nod of his head. "It's pretty. I like it." He smiled down at her. "How about Kepner as her middle name, huh? Tag that along?" Jackson suggested.
"Nora Kepner Avery." April smiled at him for a moment before looking down at their daughter and cooing at her. "Is that your name, little girl? I think it is. Oh yes, I do. Little sweet Nora."
Both April and Jackson hold onto her with fierce protectiveness after everything that it had taken to conceive and bring her into the world, hard to let her out of either of their sights even then it came to the necessary tests and vaccinations that she needed to receive. Jackson eventually stepped out with her so they could begin to run tests on April and see what the effects of the embolism had caused on her body. A part of him wanted to be in there but she had requested that he stay with the baby and watch over her, half scared how he would react if she didn't do well on the tests.
Much to her relief, the ANS test does go well. There were no signs of issues with physiological processes or signs of autonomic dysfunction. Her organs were checking out well and thus didn't show any signs of failure just yet. She was maintaining a normal body temperature and electrolyte balance.
The only issues that did come up eventually were those with her pituitary gland. A little pea-sized organ and yet it was still the master gland as far as hormones were concerned.
Blood tests came back and indicated to two different abnormal functions. Hypo-secretion of the thyroid-stimulating hormone and hypersecretion of prolactin. Hyperthyroidism. Hyperprolactinemia. One was much more common than the other. Another test was being run for the actual thyroid hormones to double check and an iodine thyroid scan was scheduled. At least that was not particularly complicated to treat.
"Hi, April, Jackson," Dr. Montgomery greeted. "I wanted to talk to you about the results of your bloodwork, April. Is now an okay time?" She asked.
They both glanced at each other before April gave a nod of her head, asking her to continue.
"Alright. So, in women, a high blood level of prolactin often causes a decrease in menstruation. It may disappear altogether or just become irregular. You're likely to have an increased level of breastmilk, more than what little Nora is going to need. As the hormone promotes tissue changes in the breast, you're likely to experience more breast pain than normal for first-time mothers." She explained clearly, offering the both of them a sympathetic smile. "We'll have to monitor your levels for awhile going forward, and work at treating symptoms. A possible complication down the line is osteoporosis, but we'll work to avoid that."
April frowned for a moment as she looked at Dr. Montgomery, blinking a few times and nodding before dropping her gaze down to her daughter. "At least I don't have to worry about you going hungry, huh?" She cooed to Nora.
Jackson gravitated a little closer to his wife, placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Is there anything that we can do immediately to try and get ahead of this?"
"Most of the time, we go for treating the underlying cause. In this case, that's the AFE. Which in this case, we're past. So hopefully it'll go away on its own with management." Addison answered, offering a sympathetic smile. "I know that this is hard, but you've come out on the other side of this in remarkably good shape, April. You're very lucky."
The words are taken at face value.
A few days after Nora's birth, the both of them are discharged from the hospital with followup appointments scheduled. Jackson hadn't initially planned on taking a full paternity leave, but his mind had quickly changed, now needing to watch over both his wife and newborn baby.
Of course, the weeks after a child was born was next to impossible for any parent to really deal with. It was baggy sweats, dirty diapers, and a complete lack of structure. An occasional moment nearing complete insanity when it came to not getting any sleep. It was surprising and overwhelming, all of the tough realities that came with having a baby. The perspective would come for the both of them later on down the road. They had both greatly overestimated their own abilities. Getting laundry and food cooked every week was a challenge they barely managed to succeed.
Both April and Jackson were career-oriented, accustomed to being organized, in control, and on schedule. Babies, of course, were nothing like that.
When the two months were finally coming to one and the prospect of work was coming around, there were plenty of mixed feelings to be had. On the one hand, there was no end to the exhaustion in sight. Instead, it'd just be a few hours of work and Nora down at daycare, then the impending nights with getting up multiple times and trying to sooth the fussy baby. Adult conversations were also greatly mixed.
But separation anxiety was a real bitch. A heartless one, at that. Emotionally and logistically, it was hard. April was still breastfeeding and even if her prolactin levels had begun to come down, the schedule was important to her. Having Nora downstairs at the daycare was some help.
Nothing would really ease the heartache that eventually came with the two of them dropping her off at daycare for the first time and standing outside of the room, staring in at their child.
"This doesn't feel right," April commented, chewing on her lower lip and giving a shake of her head.
"At least we're still under the same roof, technically," Jackson offered, trying to comfort her.
They try to go about their days as if it's normal, even though it felt anything but. Everyone wanted to hear about the baby and made a remark about being jealous of the time off, even if it had felt like absolutely anything but a vacation. Any new parent knew and understood that. By the time that lunch came around though, they had to come back downstairs and check on their daughter, just to make sure that everything was alright and that she was happy. April at least had the excuse of dropping off some fresh breastmilk.
She really shouldn't have been surprised to see that Jackson was already there, peering in the window with a soft smile on his face.
"Hi," she smiled up at him, wrapping one arm around his waist and leaning into him. "She good?"
"Yeah." Jackson's arm slung over her shoulder, drawing her in closer.
"Are you gonna make fun of me if I have a moment right now?" April asked, glancing up at him.
He chuckled. "Depends on what kind of moment, I suppose."
"I was so scared to have a baby after everything. I didn't.. I didn't think that it was going to happen," she admitted with a slight frown pulling at the corners of her lips, looking forward in the window. "I still don't remember a lot of the actual birth. Maybe it's because they shocked me. I don't know. I just… I know that I'm happier now than I've ever been, Jackson. I'm so sorry that I got so bent out of shape about trying for a while there and that I blamed you for so much of it." She apologized, running her hand up and down his side as she spoke.
Jackson turned himself to face her slightly, not wanting to disrupt their position too much and shaking his head. "You don't need to apologize for that, April," he insisted sincerely, leaning down and pressing a kiss on top of her head. "You were scared and angry. Rightfully so. We both made our mistakes. But… that's all in the past now, you know? We have Nora. And we have each other. That's what matters right now."
April turned toward him so that she could properly wrap her arms around his waist in a hug, her head resting on his chest. She's small against him, still carrying some of her baby weight even though the hyperthyroidism had caused some of it to fall off quite quickly. Then the medication had her gaining it right back all over again. She didn't care. She was happy with where she was.
"I'm happy with where our life is now, Jackson. I'm so happy." She smiled for only a moment, stretching up on her tiptoes to press her lips against him. It's sweet, chaste. Both of them were tired, but never too tired for each other.
"Me too, baby, me too." His head rested on top of her head, where it fit perfectly beneath his.
The two of them couldn't have been more different when they had first met each other and yet now they constantly existed on the same page, moving in sync. She'd been the uptight good girl, the Christian woman who had waited until marriage, who was too conservative for her own good at times. And he had been the one who had completely opened her eyes up to the world, the idea that you could be a good person without following the rules quite so strictly. Jackson had balanced April out in an ideal way, fitted inside of each other's flaws and made them both better and stronger with one another.
To think, it had all started with one blind date.