Ruth was upstairs by design and supposedly unpacking as she waited for the possibility of confrontation when the doorbell rang. They were his family not hers and however disjointed, she wanted to be well out of the way when Harry opened the door.
'Catherine, sweetheart,' she heard, imagining the smile that was lighting up Harry's face and then nothing, no mention of Graham so now what? She had to go down.
The room looked like something out of a dreadful movie set, with Harry standing by the window and staring at his son with an uncontrollable sadness in his eyes, and Graham, ramrod straight with his back to the door looking like an ornament that had been put in the wrong place. Catherine for once appeared unable to help. Over to me then Ruth thought.
'I'll make us some coffee Harry,' she suggested as cheerfully as she could manage, trying to defuse the tinderbox that was standing in front of her and for want of anything better to say, as the two statues that were standing on either side of the room moved as if by magic and Catherine escaped on her heels into the kitchen.
They didn't need introducing they needed some light relief from what was happening or rather not happening next door and in a mutual need to find it, Harry became the catalyst. While Ruth filled the kettle and Catherine reached for the mugs and the coffee that was on a shelf in front of her the ice was broken, as Catherine said thank you and then confessed to her that she and Graham had seen them dancing together the previous evening, which had contributed to his current mood.
'I tried to stop him and make him wait until this morning, but he's stubborn just like …' Ruth finished the sentence for her.
She also wondered at what point they'd seen them dancing, but decided against asking.
'Dad was so ill and unhappy when they brought him home from the States,' Catherine continued, completely changing the subject, 'I really thought he was going to die and to look at him now, it's unbelievable.'
Ruth could have told Catherine that she'd had years of experience in pulling Harry back from the depths of despair and compared to those, that this had been a cake walk in the park. As it was, she just told her that most of it was down to Harry and that she'd just carried on with the good job that Catherine herself had started, including getting him to throw off the shackles when it came to what he wore.
Yes and you're being too modest thought Catherine.
'It's a case of wrap up to survive at times it gets so cold here and to hell with what you look like. Not only that I was an outsider when I arrived, so I was determined to blend in and I'm sure that it's helped.'
She said nothing about her time in Cyprus and that she'd had plenty of practice at blending in, she had no idea how much if anything Harry had told Catherine about their relationship or non - relationship as it had been then. Once Graham was on his way, she hoped that Catherine would stay on for a while to spend some time with Harry and that she'd have an opportunity to get to know her better.
By the time that they went back into the sitting room, Graham had seemingly rediscovered how to use his legs and had made his way across the room and was sitting on one of the chairs that were either side of the fire, with Harry at one end of the sofa. Progress Ruth thought as she put the tray down in front of Harry and handed round the coffees.
'Graham this is Ruth my ….,' please don't say anything to provoke him, thought Ruth and Catherine as Harry floundered and Graham surprised everyone especially Ruth, by standing up and leaning over to shake her hand.
For now at least there was a modicum of normal, as Ruth took over again and went on to tell them how she been coerced into taking the job at the school, the Christmas concert which she'd ultimately enjoyed despite feeling so nervous and the new friends that she and Harry had made. She made a special point of not mentioning their day out with the children and how much Harry had enjoyed it. His own children were the priority and she could see that Graham was still far from comfortable.
'Against all the odds I really like living here, despite there being little else to do,' saw Harry's eyebrows raising and beginnings of a smile at a now emotionally exhausted Ruth, as he saved her from digging herself into an even bigger hole by taking over the conversation and telling his children that in an attempt to regain his fitness, Ruth had persuaded him that he should take up walking.
'I've got the boots to prove it,' he added, 'we could go for a walk later if you'd like to,' he suggested, looking directly to Graham. Harry was trying so hard to make a breakthrough, it was cripplingly obvious and every one of them realised it.
It wasn't until after lunch that any mention was made as to how long Catherine and Graham planned on staying or more precisely where, but there had been no talk about the reason for their visit. Ruth knew of course and she'd had a word with Catherine, asking her to give Harry a couple of days to adjust to having Graham around and to allow him to attempt rebuild their relationship.
Unbeknown to any of them, Graham was playing a now unwanted part, struggling to maintain the hard man persona that had protected him over the years. With only a few days to go until his flight back to Canada, he felt a desperate need to get to know the father that he had never really understood before it was too late.
Catherine had told him that she'd seen him at death's door and that had frightened him, suddenly aware that the father that he had believed to be indestructible wasn't, and if anything happened to him when he was on the other side of the world that he never would. So with more than a nudge from Catherine and an encouraging nod from Ruth, he and Harry eventually donned their boots and headed out of the door and across the fields towards the sea.
The animosity that he had presumed he would feel towards Ruth had dissipated almost as soon as she'd smiled at him. How could it not. Her enthusiasm when she talked about her life on the island which now included his father was infectious, she was beautiful in an understated way and she clearly loved the man that was walking along -side him.
He'd always envied Catherine her ability to forgive him and having spent so much more time with him, but most of all he hated himself for being such an idiot. It was just that he didn't know how to change it. His chance was to come far sooner than he imagined as Harry who was striding along wearing the aforementioned boots, had a far better grip on the snow than Graham who was wearing Harry's now discarded wellies. As he stepped down from a style that took them onto the coastal path, he was briefly distracted by the view of the sea in front of him and missed his footing.
His father reacted as he would have done whoever had been slipping. The fact that it was Graham was irrelevant until he looked up into the eyes of his son who was clinging to him for dear life. Had they not been alone there would have been a very good chance that they'd have broken apart, but as it was neither of them let go, it was a life-changing moment for both of them.
I'm sorry Dad,' said Graham, still holding on.
'No need,' said Harry, closing his eyes and breathing him in, the man that he now was but hadn't held since he'd been a young boy, wishing that Ruth had been with him to share this moment.
For the next hour by which time the light had begun to fade, they walked on, Harry telling him that he was done with his life in the security services and had made the decision to retire. He answered each and every one of Graham's questions including those about Ruth. How he had known her for what felt like forever. How for the most ridiculous of reasons, they'd held back from what should have already been a long standing home life together and that he planned to change that. Whatever Ruth wanted was his priority and that he loved her. That wasn't to say that he hadn't loved their mother because he had, but sometimes things happen that send people on a different path and his had led him to Ruth.
'Everything,' he told him, when Graham asked him to describe in a single word, what Ruth meant to him. Graham knew what he meant, but Catherine had told him that he had to wait before he explained that.
By the time they arrived home, Catherine and Ruth had made up the beds in the two smaller of the bedrooms and were in the kitchen preparing dinner.
'Boots off or we'll get a bollocking,' said Harry grinning when then stood in the porch taking off their coats. Harry then walking straight into the kitchen and kissing Ruth albeit briefly, sent a clear message that whilst they'd been out that something positive had happened. Graham had visibly relaxed and as Ruth and Catherine dished up the food, he offered to lay the table whilst Harry poured a couple of beers and opened a bottle of wine.
'Dad and I have chatted and I've stopped being an arse,' he whispered to his sister.
Ruth, very much involved and in her mind no longer an outsider sat and listened, as Catherine and Graham told stories from the days that they had spent on holiday with their parents. She felt no animosity towards Jane, it had been a mutual decision that she and Harry parted company, something that he had never talked about until now and it was abundantly clear that Graham had cleared the air with his father. Their memories much as hers now were, were of days when the sun never stopped shining and the sea was always blue. Was that even possible, they thought not. As she sat and watched them, she tried to picture a younger Harry desperately trying to be a good father and at the same time, balance that with the all-consuming and dangerous work life. It must have been virtually impossible. Even Adam and Fiona who had loved each other had ultimately paid the price and left Wes an orphan. These though were maudlin thoughts and she needed to put them to bed or they'd drag her down, so despite feeling desperately tired she needed to stay strong for the next couple of days to guide Harry through what she knew would be a difficult time.
Bedtime finally came and with it an unexpected kiss goodnight for Ruth from both Catherine and Graham, as Harry banked up the fire before they headed up the stairs. There could be no repeat of the previous night's performance neither of them had an ounce of energy left and even if they had, with Harry's two children sleeping but a stone's throw away, Harry wanted something to be left to their imagination he told her. The curtains were open as they always were, the clear sky that was teeming with stars promised a cold night and another cold day, but neither of them cared. For now until the morning they were as physically close as they had been since the previous evening and they needed it so much.
'I told Graham that I love you,' Harry told her across the inches that separated them, as they lay facing each other with their legs entwined and their hands in each other's hair.
'And do you?' Ruth teased him, snuggling closer until their bodies were touching, warm and comfortable and ready for sleep.
'Kiss me goodnight and I'll show you how much in the morning if you promise not to giggle,' was how they fell asleep.
They had no particular plans for the following day other than perhaps driving around the island and then finding a pub somewhere to have lunch. A phone call from Rose changed that, when the children were delivered as they were eating breakfast.
'I'm so sorry to do this to you,' Rose apologised un-necessarily, 'but Michael's spending the morning with an elderly parishioner whose husband died overnight and I've got an appointment in Stornoway that I can't alter.
'Pancakes anyone?' Catherine asked the three expectant faces that were staring at the contents of Harry's plate.
'Yes please with jam,' answered Graham, joining the party.
For the remainder of the morning and after another call from Rose to say that could they possibly hang on to the children until mid-afternoon Graham came into his own, astounding Harry with his ability to cope with the children. As Catherine dragged the sledge to the top of the hill for the umpteenth time with Robert, Graham organised the building of another snowman, a snowball fight that was directed entirely at his father and Ruth, who between supplying hot drinks and snacks, had been cuddled up on the porch under a blanket together watching the scene that had been unfolding.
Gone was the morose young man that had been standing behind his sister when Harry had opened the door the previous morning. He was happy and so clearly at home.
Ruth saw it as the perfect opening for Graham to have that oh so important chat with his father and told him so. She knew that she'd have to pick up the pieces later, but hopefully Harry would be able to hold it together until Graham had gone home. With small children in the house it would relieve the pressure for her and Catherine, so with a board game in front of them she delivered some sandwiches and steaming coffee to the father and son that were sitting under the porch.
Neither she nor Catherine could concentrate, but it didn't matter. It was one of those simple board games, that even if you weren't playing, you could step in at any time.
'I have to be honest, if it hadn't been for Catherine pestering me, I wouldn't be here,' Graham told him, going on to explain that via a friend of a friend, he'd been offered a job in Canada three years ago and that he was now a Canadian citizen.
'It was by chance that I met Lucy who I'm now living with, it wasn't as though I was looking for a relationship,' he went on to tell his astounded father, 'What I really need to tell you and I'm so sorry that I've kept it from you for so long is this,' he said, producing a photograph of himself holding the hand of a small girl with pigtails as bright as the sun, 'I have a daughter and she's called Alice.'
Harry momentarily stopped breathing and as hard as tried to control the tears that had already been building behind his eyes, the dam broke and he sobbed uncontrollably unable to do anything about it.
A now concerned Graham ploughed on.
'I promise you that Catherine didn't know either, until Malcolm came up with an email address and she contacted me and told me what had happened to you,' was something that Harry needed to hear, as he rubbed his hand across his eyes and delved in his pocket for a handkerchief, 'I am truly sorry Dad,' he told him again, as Harry gazed at his granddaughter and then asked him if they'd told Ruth.
'That I've been living in Canada with Lucy yes, but not about Alice. Catherine told her a couple of days ago, but I made them both swear that they wouldn't tell you, because I needed to do that myself,' wasn't strictly true, but again it was what he needed his father to hear.
Canada was a beautiful country and relatively safe compared to some places in the world and he intended staying there. They lived several miles from the outskirts of Ottawa in the countryside, where at times the weather was even colder than it was here and that he hoped that Harry and of course Ruth would come to visit them, concluded a conversation that left Harry in pieces, shivering and speechless and Graham relieved to have got through it. There would be time for more rebuilding later, enough was enough for today as Graham with his hand around his father's shoulder helped him inside.
Catherine and Graham offered to take the children home, leaving Harry some time and space with Ruth, to come to terms with what he had been told and to tell her that he was a granddad. In the blink of an eye they had another option for their future, but for now Harry desperately needed to be with Ruth on his own, and his children recognised that and closed the door behind them.