Chapter 3: Can Surak fly a shuttle

Phlox looked up from feeding his creatures as Commander Tucker entered sickbay for the third time that day. Baring further injury, he could think of two reasons the Commander had sought him out again an he anticipated that neither would be easy conversations.

"Commander, are you here on your own behalf or to enquire about the Sub-Commander's condition? Because I should not need to remind you, her consultations with me are protected under Doctor-Patient confidentiality."

"I'm just looking for a little advice Doc." The Commander leaned back against the bench crossed his left leg over his right and folded his arms.

Phlox assessed his posture as reasonably relaxed and continued feeding his creatures. He was relieved to note the Commander's earlier anger seemed to have dissipated. "Well Commander, I only guarantee my advice when it's medically related. Any other topics are at your own risk."

Trip chuckled and shook his head. "I'll take that on advisement Doc."

Phlox watched as the engineer cocked his head to one side, took a deep breath, and stuck his tongue into his cheek. Phlox was more than familiar with this human's various expressions and knew this indicated he was reluctant to broach the subject. "Commander, if it's generic advice you are looking for then I suggest you eat regular, healthy meals and get plenty of sleep. But I very much doubt you took a special trip down to sickbay to hear me repeat myself, so I assume you have a more specific subject you'd like to discuss, hmm?"

"Well Doc, it is about T'Pol..."

"Ahh... what specifically, Commander, keeping in mind my earlier reminder."

"I'm just wondering what the Captain should be told about this." Trip asked baldly

"I see," Phlox looked up at the Commander, "from my perspective, this is a medical matter and, as such, it is between my patient and me It has not had a deleterious effect on the performance of her duties and, now she has been discovered, I am sure she will desist in this course of action. There is no benefit to either, T'Pol or the Captain, to take this matter further than this room."

Trip nodded with, what seemed to Phlox, to be a certain amount of relief but his tongue returned to his cheek.

"Is there something further you wish to discuss, Commander?"

"Thing is, I'm just not sure... I'm just trying to figure out...". Trip took another breath and looked at the Doctor. "What the hell was T'Pol thinking."

Phlox glanced up from his blood worms "I believe she explained her rational earlier" he said, as he resumed feeding the worms. "I am not sure there is any thing further I can add to that, Commander."

"Yeah, I heard her earlier, but... I mean this is Sub-Commander T'Pol, she's pretty much spent the last two and a half years throwing logic at us with her accompanying monotone and raised eyebrow, now suddenly she's… well, she's drugging herself so she can feel. I'm having a little trouble rationalising that with the woman who's spent a couple of years looking down her nose at our emotions - it just seems a little..." Trip paused as he struggled for the right words, "beneath her." he finished.

"It is somewhat unfair, Commander, to hold Sub-Commander T'Pol to a higher standard than yourself don't you think, Mr Tucker?" Phlox decided not pull any punches with the Commander.

He watched as Trip pursed his lips trying, and failing, to follow the Doctors thought processes. "What do you mean by that, Doc?"

"Just that you have not been above using drugs to manage emotions yourself, only in your case it was to avoid them."

Trip lifted himself off the cabinets and went on the defensive. "I know I've been a bit unpredictable over the past few months Doc, but I don't recall ever abusing a mind altering substance."

"Of course you don't Commander, because Sub-Commander T'Pol and I prevented it from happening. What were all those sedatives for, if not to avoid facing the grief you felt over the loss of your sister." Phlox told him baldly.

"Really Commander," Phlox continued "what do imagine would have happened if your access to that medication had not been restricted when your insomnia started to affect you? Had I given you open access, would you have regulated your consumption to prevent 'abuse' and dependancy. Even with my monitoring of your doses, when you began neuro-pressure with the Sub-Commander you were already walking a fine line."

Trip stood for a moment with his mouth hanging open before he was able to gather his wits. "I couldn't sleep." He retorted "You know as well as I do that human's can't function if they can't sleep."

"And Vulcans can not function if they can't meditate." Finished with feeding his various organisms Phlox turned his full attention to his guest. "The thing I find the most interesting about this is that, as an inherently emotional species, humans seem most likely to turn to drugs as a way to escape emotions. It seems our Vulcan, who manages emotions by suppressing them, turned to drugs in order to express them. I wonder if that's significant, don't you Commander?"

Trip chewed on his cheek contemplating Phlox's assessment before answering. "Okay Doc, I'll accept you may be right about my use of the sedatives and we both know why I wanted them, but what's T'Pol struggling with?"

Phlox hesitated before answering, this conversation was getting awfully close to Doctor-Patient confidentiality territory. He had no desire to violate Sub-Commander T'pol's confidence but at the same time he was certain her problems were not going to be solved at the end of a hypo-spray. He hoped, given their recent history, Commander Tucker may be the best person to assist her.

"I suspect in the Sub-Commander's case it is not one single incident, but rather a series events and circumstances that have had a cumulative effect on her. While she came onto the Enterprise supremely confident in Vulcan logic and moral superiority, this confidence has been shaken. She has been forced to question, on several occasions, the decisions made by her government and has found them wanting. In return she has suffered censure by her people."

Phlox knew that Trip was aware of what transpired at P'Jem and would have an inkling of the consequences for the Sub-Commander of that farce. He hoped this knowledge would prevent further enquiries about other 'occasions' as he was fairly certain the Commander did not know details about the attack by Tolaris, her resulting infection with Pa'nar Syndrome and the repercussions regarding her status amongst her people. He had no intention of making any details of the Sub-Commander's condition available to Commander Tucker even though he believed it to be the central issue of her current situation. He continued into areas the Commander was more familiar with.

"The Expanse, while difficult for us all, is uniquely taxing on her Vulcan physiology and she has suffered a number of health crisis' while here, which, by their nature, would have impacted her mental discipline. But she is the only member of her species, living amongst people whose entire philosophy of mental discipline is diametrically opposed to her own. She has no cultural markers or like minded colleagues to fall back on and ground her. She must navigate this space and all its difficulties, essentially, alone. Little wonder that she should misstep - and I think we have all been guilty of that at some time, wouldn't you agree Commander."

He watched as Trip pressed his lips together and nodded contemplatively.

"So how do you help her Doc? Trip asked. "The only other Vulcan's we've encountered in the expanse weren't exactly meditating and quoting Surak, were they?"

"Indeed they were not. Actually Mr Tucker, I think it's a question of what you can do to help her."

"Me, Doc? I'm not certain I'm the best qualified. I mean, repressed emotions and meditation are not exactly my core competencies and, to be honest, I wouldn't know Surak if he ran me down with his shuttle."

Phlox looked at the Commander with raised eyebrows. He couldn't help but think that Mr Tucker was far better at repressing emotions than he gave himself credit for - unfortunately - to the detriment of his health. It was fortuitous that his prescription for the Sub-Commander was one that had already benefited the Chief Engineer and would continue to do so.

"But, on this vessel you are the most qualified practitioner in the art of Vulcan neuro-pressure, with exception of the Sub-Commander of course, but she can hardly apply the method to herself, can she." He said with a smile.

"I'll do what I can Doc," Trip replied, still looking somewhat sceptical. "I'm still not sure I'm the best man for the job so you'd better let me know immediately if Surak does turn up."

"You'll be the first to know Commander," Phlox gave one of his impossibly wide smiles, "particularly if he arrives by shuttle.