It was less than a minute after Catherine and Graham had left with the children that Ruth stood contemplating, not for the first time, why their combined lives were like living on a perpetual roller coaster.
'Leave him,' she'd said to his children, as he'd stared at the photo, his hand shaking.
Could she leave him on his own, no she couldn't, because the stupid man would stay out there and freeze to death rather than admit that he'd wanted her to go with him.
Searching through the cupboards she found the thermos, made some coffee and added a large measure from the yet to be opened bottle of whisky, before heading out into the darkness to where she knew he'd be sitting. Determined that she'd take the initiative and not let him wallow wasn't going to be easy, but before that, she had to negotiate the icy pathway in the dark, struggling not only under the burden of the flask and mugs that she was carrying, but Harry's hat, scarf and gloves which he'd left behind. Cursing as she slipped whilst swerving to avoid the large planter that Harry had fallen over on the evening that he'd arrived, she rounded the side of the house and put her possessions on the table in front of him. He moved, a hand snaked out, but only to reach for his hat.
'Don't give me that I want to be alone rubbish Harry,' she said dramatically, knowing that he'd pick up on the quote, before she sat down bedside him and poured them both a drink.
She'd invested in a small outside store where she kept rugs, cushions and a few other outdoorsy odds and ends, so it wasn't long before she wrapped herself and a now less freezing Harry from head to foot. This was lunacy and she suspected that Harry thought so too, although it did feel somewhat romantic snuggled together like a couple of naughty teenagers behind a bike shed, rather than sitting indoors by the fire which was what sensible people did. Well it was too late now, if they sat there all night so be it. They needed to talk this through and she was determined to stick it out until they came to some sort of decision.
'There's whisky in it,' brought the glimmer of a smile that was trying to mask the single tear that was running down his face as she topped up his coffee, but still nothing by way of a response. She waited patiently, with a myriad of ideas floating around in her head, as Harry continued to stare into the distance. It was like pulling teeth, she tried again.
'It's not as good as the High Point is it, but it cuts down on the walking,' had his resistance, or to anyone who didn't love him belligerence, dissipating. But Ruth did love him, more than she'd ever loved another living soul and she was prepared to do anything to ease his pain.
'There's always a solution Harry,' she said gently as his hands searched for hers under the blankets, 'we just need to talk this through.'
She was more than willing to put aside her own desire to accept the offer that Rose had made, and suggest instead that after a few weeks they follow Graham back to Canada. It wasn't what she wanted and it certainly wouldn't have been her first choice, but this wasn't about her it was about Harry and his ability to get see Alice grow up. What she hadn't anticipated was his reaction when she suggested it.
No was his emphatic answer. She'd made enough sacrifices for him. He wanted to meet Alice of course he did, but he'd listened to what she'd told Catherine and Graham, how against all the odds she was happy here and for the first time in her life she felt as though she belonged. He also knew that she'd been offered the job at the school and that she wanted to take it, Rose had told him, and schools had holidays, long ones and they could go to Canada then.
'So why are we sitting out here then?' she asked him, tucking the rugs more tightly round their legs.
'It was a shock, I'm fine now, really.'
For all his bravado, Ruth knew it to be more than that, she'd had seen it dozens of times over the years, when he'd tried to tell her that it was just the wind or made some other excuse rather than admit he was upset. Now though it was different, it was personal and it involved family and for the first time ever she could make a real difference. She tried again, pleading the case that she didn't believe in and telling him that Canada was a better option.
'Rubbish,' he responded, 'that was then, this is different. We're at the start of a new life together with no outside influences or pressures to determine what we do. We're ordinary people for the first time in our lives and most importantly I can keep you safe. What we have now is what I've always wanted, so we'll stay here and make a home together and then when we're ready for a break, the first place that we'll visit will be Canada,' was almost certainly the most impassioned speech he'd ever made when he'd been talking about them and far more effective than a proposal in a graveyard. Ruth kissed him, how could she not.
Rose had sent Catherine and Graham back with one of her meat pies, some veg and a trifle by way of a thank you for looking after the children and by the time that Harry and Ruth arrived back indoors, the table was already laid.
'Only when the vicarage takeaway is closed,' Ruth joked, when Graham asked them, 'if they ever cooked?'
'I thought maybe we could go out for the day tomorrow and find a pub or something,' Harry chipped in. It was the obvious solution on what would be Graham's last day and there was an unspoken understanding that it was what Harry needed.
'Tell us more about Lucy and Alice?' He bravely threw into the conversation some time later, opening another bottle and topping up their glasses.
While Graham relayed the story about how he had met Lucy and although it wasn't planned, Alice had arrived eleven months later, Ruth held tight to Harry's hand, a lifeline when he needed it. It didn't matter that his children were watching them, she was offering him support at a time when he was warring between happiness and a deep sorrow and all of them knew it.
'I should have come to London earlier, as soon as Cath rang, but it was Christmas and I just couldn't leave them, I'm sorry Dad,' Graham continued, going on to tell them that he would ask Malcolm to set up a secure link as soon as he got home, so that Harry could see and talk to Alice. 'She's always known that she has an English grandad, Lucy made sure I told her, she insisted actually, but I'll have someone else to tell her about when I get home won't I,' was said with real sincerity and a maturity that had so far been lacking, as he made sure that Ruth didn't feel side-lined in this new situation. Graham had come of age and was the man that his father had always wanted him to be and he loved him all the more for it.
Disjointed not anymore, just different, Ruth decided was a better description, as they left the washing up until the morning and settled down with their coffees around the fire. Tired and having drunk more than he had in weeks, Harry immediately fell asleep with his head at one end of the sofa and his feet in Ruth's lap, leaving her alone with the opportunity to tell his children their decision and to explain why.
'It's a joint decision,' she told them. 'We're done with running and if we stay here we'll be safe and able to lead the quiet life together that we both want, whereas if we come to Canada or even go back to England, there will always be the chance that we'll become vulnerable again,' going on to explain to Graham what Catherine already knew, about the heaven knows how many times they'd been parted by people that had wanted to harm Harry. 'I nearly lost him this time and I can't let that happen again and I promise you both from the bottom of my heart, that I'll look after him for you,' was a really difficult for Ruth to say, given that she'd had a stress filled evening and was talking to his children.
'Tea,' suggested Catherine, seeing the emotion on Ruth's face and stepping in to help her. They'd all shed enough tears for one day and besides, it was nearly bedtime.
'We've got no doubts that you're both more than capable of looking after each other, we saw the dance,' came from Graham with a grin, 'I don't suppose you'd give us a repeat performance before we go home?'
'Not on your life,' said a sleepy voice from the depths of a cushion, as Catherine walked back in and asked what she'd missed.
They purposely avoided Stornoway, all of them mindful of how difficult the following day was going to be. Catherine rang Callum apologising that she'd be away longer than she'd expected, but Ruth had persuaded her that her Dad needed her for a short while longer and besides which she knew that Callum was busy. Yes Ruth was fine, the house was lovely with glorious views of the sea and Skye in the distance, was something that he could pass on to their ex colleagues, but nothing more. Ruth and her Dad were to be left alone. He could tell Malcolm that Harry would be in touch direct, to offer him that glimpse of the Highlands that he'd always craved and that to him alone, Ruth sent her love.
The pub was warm and welcoming and despite the fact that it appeared to be miles from anywhere and without directions from a local they would never have found it, surprisingly busy. It had a damn good menu was Harry's summation, but nobody mentioned anything about takeaways or another excuse not to cook. To all intents and purposes it was just another day, except that it wasn't and they were all keeping a watchful eye on Harry. With Ruth driving and Harry for a change the passenger, they took the side road around the coast to the headland and to the beach where they had taken the children, stopping briefly to look at the view, before they drove home.
The goodbye that was inevitable and difficult for all of them, saw Harry getting what he wanted by driving Graham to the airport on his own. Ruth's last words as she kissed Graham goodbye, were that he promise her that he would contact Malcolm to get that link set up, so that they Harry could talk to Alice and that whatever happened that she'd make sure that they'd come to visit them at Easter. Maybe next Christmas, she thought to herself we can have a real family party.
'You ring me as soon as you're on your way back, promise,' she said kissing Harry, before turning back into the house to join Catherine. Harry was a pragmatist and she knew that once he got the call to say that Graham had arrived home safely that he'd start to cheer up, but in the short term she was relieved that Catherine would be there to chivvy him.
An abundance of love and the fact that he wasn't given time to feel maudlin got Harry through the next few days, as Ruth and Catherine went on a keep Harry busy offensive that involved a day out with Rose and the children, walking and then finally a complete sort out of the house that was now jointly his, deciding what if any changes they should make, to turn it from a holiday home into a permanent one. Stornoway was explored until he dropped, as he finally conceded defeat, allowing himself to be dragged along by two women, in search items that up until then he hadn't known he needed. Ruth was tenacious to a fault as she threw everything she had into making Harry happy. He discovered the benefits of home cooking as Ruth mastered the kitchen and fed him anything he wanted, he was allowed to drink albeit in moderation and when it came to bedtime, well the world was his oyster.
They made a list of the personal things that had been left at both Harry's house and Ruth's flat, so that when she got home, she and Callum could arrange to ship them, although there was only one thing that Harry really wanted and in pursuit of that he turned to Catherine for advice, on the evening before she flew back to London.
'I've never been very good when it comes to romance,' he told her, as she listened on incredulously, but refrained from saying anything negative when he told her about his botched proposal. Phrases like 'oh for Christ's sake Dad' and 'at a funeral' were held back in an effort to explain to him, that if it was her that they were talking about and it had been Callum that had done the asking, then he'd have been told in no uncertain terms where to put it. 'It's a miracle that Ruth's still with you, but it's a measure of how much she really loves you,' she told him.
Ruth was in the bath, doing her 'leave Harry alone with his children act, for the second time in as many days, so Catherine took the bull by the horns and ploughed on.
'Ruth's told me about her time with Nico,' she wants a baby Dad and she wants one with you, it's as simple as that.'
'A baby,' said Harry as though the concept was alien to him and that he'd never considered it. 'Has she said so?'
'Of course she hasn't, but Rory and Maisie, even Robert. Come on Dad, surely you've noticed the way that she changes when the children are here, it's obvious.'
'And you, what would you and Graham think?'
Catherine could hear the water from the bath disappearing and that the radio had been turned off and that gave her about ten minutes before Ruth would appear back downstairs. Had her Dad always been this blind to the obvious on a personal level, she suspected he had.
'It's not as though you're not getting enough practice, we've heard you,' was said more from frustration that an attempt to embarrass him, 'so get your head out of the sand and do something about it. Graham and I aren't children any more, it doesn't matter what we think, but if it's important that you know, then yes we'd be happy for you,' she wanted to shout at him but didn't.
'Hi,' said the subject of their conversation, walking back into the room with freshly towelled hair and smelling gorgeous, as Catherine raised her eyebrows and whispered 'get on with it.'
As soon as the new term started Ruth went back to the school. One day she taught music and the other as the new school secretary she did whatever was thrown at her. She maintained records, dealt with purchases and kept balanced the precarious budget that enabled the school to function. The parents were delighted, they had someone that they could rely on to answer their questions or concerns, and their children's school that had been rudderless was flourishing. She'd once told Malcolm when describing her life in Cyprus that she was happy, but it had been eclipsed a hundredfold by what she had now. At the end of each and every day whatever she'd been doing, Harry was there waiting for her and whatever she wanted he gave her.
Two weeks after Catherine had flown home their belongings had arrived. Her most precious books and Harry's antiquated sound system and records which he could so easily have listened to on line, but didn't. Photos and small mementos from their past lives that would help them turn their new house into a home. Any traces that it might have once belonged to Dolby were slowly despatched, as they chose paint colours together and then on the days when Ruth went to work Harry redecorated. They shopped in Stornoway replacing the bedding and the curtains with those of their own choice. The contents of the kitchen cupboards and drawers they donated to the next village jumble sale, there was nothing wrong with them but they were an every- day reminder of how they'd come to be there.
Life was as close to perfect as it could be, until three months later, just before the start of the school's Easter holidays and three weeks before Ruth's birthday.
It was early April and Catherine was planning a visit. Harry being Harry and the maker of impossible decisions in his previous life had delayed asking Ruth to marry him. Not because he didn't want to, but because when he did, he wanted it to be perfect. He'd shown no such reticence with regard to Catherine's other instruction, but there'd been no whisper of a new baby.
Although it was still necessary to keep the fires burning, the island which had been snow covered for months had been transformed by a covering of spring flowers and with them the promise of warmer weather. It was a bright sunny day with visibility as far as the eye could see and Ruth had been sitting in her small office at the school, when Michael had walked in and with him a policeman.
In the weeks that were to come, whilst the community slowly came to terms with what had happened, there was still no explanation as to why the accident had happened and lives had been changed forever.