This chapter is set immediately after the events of the episode 'Chosen Realm'. I needed a reason to get Trip into sickbay so I am writing it as though he suffered a minor injury during the skirmish with the other ships during the episode.

Chapter 5: Hindsight is not 20/20

"Well here we are again, Commander." Phlox said as he ran the dermal regenerator over the burn on Trip's arm. "I'm starting to wonder if you spend more time here than I do."

"Truly not my fault this time, Doc. God save us from religious zealots, that's all I can say."

"Indeed, Mr Tucker." Phlox gave him a assessing gaze. "How are you managing your fatigue, Commander?"

"If you're asking how I'm sleeping, Doc, I'm doing pretty well at the moment. T'Pol and I are doing the neuro-pressure sessions most nights now. I think I'm sleeping better than I ever have."

"Most nights! Why the increase in frequency, I did not believe your need was so great?"

Trip stuck his tongue into his cheek and looked at the Doctor. "It's not so much for my benefit." He said quietly. "T'Pol told me about her Pa'nar."

"I see. I am surprised she confided in you. It speaks a great deal about your relationship with her."

"Yeah, well, I saw her hands shaking after the whole time travel thing and I kind of bullied her into telling me."

Phlox raised his eyebrows. "I think you should remember that the Sub-Commander is not so easily intimidated. I would imagine if she told you, it's because she saw some logic in disclosing the information to you."

"I don't know about that, Doc. I wasn't exactly detecting a vein of pure logic in her when she talked about the attack."

"Ahh, regret is a complex emotion, is it not, one that does not respond well to logic."

"Yeah, I told her that hindsight is 20/20. That it's easy to look back and see the right choice once something has happened."

"Huh, an interesting concept." Phlox lifted the dermal regenerated and looker thoughtfully into space. "Of course, it's quite inaccurate." He said as he resumed the treatment.

"What, how so?" Trip looked at him, incredulous.

"When you reflect on your choices you only see the outcome of the decisions you made. There is no way to determine exactly what the results would have been had you pursued the other options - one can only speculate."

Phlox continued, getting into his subject. "In particular we have to take into account the fact that single choices do not necessarily lead to single outcomes. There can be multiple results from one action, some positive, some negative. That's why regret is so complex. It is hard to conceptualise that, when you wish away a decision that caused a negative outcome, you are also wishing away any positive ones. Phlox turned off the dermal regenerator and placed it on the tray next to him. He turned back with an expression that Trip could only describe as, sad.

Phlox crossed his hands in front of him and looked down at Trip "Sometimes it is not even the outcomes of a decision that are regrettable. It is possible to miscalculate the ethical implications of a decision. That can complicate regret even more. It may be that the final outcome was largely as expected and desired but the morality of the decision became more complicated as more information came to light."

Trip got the feeling the Doctor was not talking about generalities but had a specific case in mind. "Would Sim be a good example of that, Doc?" He asked quietly.

"Indeed he would, Commander." As he spoke he picked up a hypospray and pressed it into Trip's neck. "A mild analgesic, which should take care of any residual nerve pain." He told Trip.

Trip chewed on his cheek, not sure if he wanted the answer to his next question. "Do you regret the creation of Sim?"

"It's not as straight forward as either regretting it, or not. I am quite fond of you, you are, after all, one of my best customers." He gave Trip a smile as he said it to let him know he was teasing. "It would be difficult, if not impossible, to regret your survival. Had we chosen not to sacrifice Sim, you would have both have been dead for several weeks now, I quite simply can not see that as being preferable."

"When I proposed the use of the Lyssarrian Desert Larvae I did not anticipate that the resulting clone would have all your memories. I also did not foresee that the clone would have minor physiological differences to you that would result in the tissue harvesting procedure being fatal. Once those issues came to light, the creation of Sim to save you, became much more ethically questionable.

Trip pursed his lips and cant his head. "So if you could do it all again, you wouldn't?"

"Ahh, that's where it gets even more complex. If similar circumstances were to occur, knowing what I know now, that the memetic clone is more fragile and has all the memories of the parent organism, I would not go ahead. But Sim did exist, he was an individual, very similar to you of course, but not exactly the same. To go back in time and prevent his creation, for instance, would be to deny him his existence."

Trip pressed his lips together and let out a deep breath. "But you still went ahead with procedure, knowing it would kill him."

"Given the importance of our mission the Captain made a decision based on utilitarian arguments: the importance of your skills to the mission and your life expectancy versus Sim's. The decision to proceed with the transplant was not one Captain Archer or I took lightly. Nor is it one that does not weigh on us in hindsight. But in the end you saved yourself, Commander, and us."

"What do you mean?"

Phlox put his hand on Trip's shoulder. "You are, Mr Tucker, the type of man who would willingly give his life to save his family, friends and colleagues. Because Sim was, in most respects, you, he made exactly the same choice you would have made, to die for those he loved. I can, and do, grieve his death - and my part in it, but to regret his life would diminish his sacrifice."