.

Teddy looked at the clock in the OR once more, as she finished the suture on her patient. For the first time in weeks, she wished for it to tick faster, so she could leave. In the past weeks, work had been the only distraction from sitting at home alone, thinking about Henry. Now, it had miraculously changed back.
She was in time. Everything went as planned. And thank god, she wore a mask covering her face, so nobody saw her smile, when she thought of going home.

It was past eight already. She had done a fourteen hour shift, two coronary artery bypass graftings, but actually she had thought about Jack half of the day and the other half of the day she had tried to hide from Owen and the rest of the crew in what cheerful mood she was.

She remembered waking up, on the couch. He was still sitting in the leather chair next to her head, but he must have fallen asleep at some point in the night. When she got up and snuck into the bathroom and then into her bedroom, to get dressed, he didn't take notice. She already thought of letting him sleep, but then again, she just couldn't.
She knelt down next to him and softly touched his shoulder. She couldn't tell what it was exactly, but something between them had changed after the past night, she felt. He woke up as she said his name, whispering good morning. She took the blanket that she'd slept with and covered him with it. It was a wordless understanding somehow. Nobody said anything but they still knew very well where they stood. I'll be home around 9, she told him, instead of a goodbye.

Doing her best in hiding her cheerful mood from Owen, as she said goodbye for tonight, she made her way back home. She even stopped to get a bottle of red wine, since she wouldn't have to go back to work again until tomorrow night.
It was on the way up to her apartment, walking up the three floors, when she realized that Jack could as well already be gone. Unlikely, she thought and threw the thought away as quickly as it had come into her mind. But back stayed one more certainty: he would leave one day.

As she opened up her door, brushed off her shoes and put her stuff down, it didn't take long for him to appear. She found him leaning against the doorway to the living room. "'re you hungry?", he asked.

Of course she was, but it was a different thought which occupied her mind. "You look a lot better than a few days ago.", she said, totally disregarding his question.
It shocked her, how much better he looked like – which would mean that the day when he'd leave would rapidly get closer.

"Thanks to you", he said, gesturing to come over, "I hope you like spaghetti."

She found the table already set and the food already waiting for her. "You cooked for me?", she stammered, surprised.

"If you call throwing a pack of noodles into a pot and waiting five minutes cooking, then yes" He was glad that she was home now. He had slept a few hours and then the awkward boredom of waiting to get better had set in again. There was not much he could do, except for making plans on how to disappear in a few days, or where he'd go to.
Above all, he didn't want to leave.

They talked about some unimportant things while they ate, and thereafter, Teddy insisted on checking his surgery wounds once more.

Jack lay on the sofa again, watching her work on him. She was surprisingly silent today, seemed to focus more on what she was doing, and somehow, she was changed.
He felt her hands… well, the sterile gloves that she wore, on his skin. She softly put new bandages around his belly, careful not to hurt his broken ribs.

"Teddy?"

She looked up from her medical masterpiece and took off the sterile gloves. "Yes?"

"Is something wrong?", he hesitatingly asked. He also felt, that something had changed, after the past night. "Did I… get too close for comfort? If yes- I didn't mean to."

She could have screamed out a loud no. Sitting on the floor, she leant against the couch, letting her view wander from the fresh bandages around his stomach, over his naked torso, up to his face. "No, you didn't.", she answered, suddenly wishing that he would have gotten much closer.
Sadly she lowered her view. "You look a lot better, Jack. And I hate saying that.", she sighed, "because it just reminds me of the fact that no matter how good last night felt… it will be different again in a few days." The one thing had happened, which she hadn't wanted: she had become emotionally attached to this guy.

At a loss, he looked at her. Had he stayed for too long already, letting that happen? Damnit, he had really held back – he hadn't ever touched her, except for taking her hand into his once or twice. He had never even hugged her, had never let her get close in any other way. But right now, seeing her sit there, looking so lost, he really wanted to put his arms around her.
He shifted a little on the couch, to make some space for her to lie down next to him. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but right now it was the only one he had.

Teddy realized it in an instant, what he meant with this. Hesitatingly and slowly, she first sat down on the couch, keeping eye contact.
None of them said a word.
He left it up to her if she'd lie down with him or not.

"Where will this take us, Jack?", she tonelessly said, looking into his eyes.

"Nowhere", he silently answered, "I promise."

She trusted him. Finally, she lay down, her back touching his front. He put his arm round her waist and then they just lay there.
She had never felt his body touching hers before. Now she felt his chin touching the back of her head, she felt him breathe, since only the sheer fabric of her blouse parted his naked torso from her back. She felt his arms around her waist, and also their legs had somehow gotten entangled, lying on this small space together.

"I don't want you to leave", she murmured and leant back, pressing her back against him.

"You can't hide me here forever, Teddy.", he answered, hoping she'd see reality again. "I'm still on the run from the Chinese. The minute I leave here, I can't come back. It would be way too dangerous."

"Why don't you call our agencies to help you?" She didn't want to accept his plans.

"They wouldn't help me."

"Why?"

He answered nothing. It was all too complicated.

"Jack?" She turned her head a little, "Why won't they help you?"

"That's a long story.", he sighed. He knew already that she wouldn't let lose, until he told her. But he didn't know how or where to start. It went all the way back to the day when he had lost Audrey.
"I got drawn back into my old job.", he murmured.

Teddy waited for him to continue. She slid a bit lower until she could rest her head on his upper arm. "How?"

"Audrey got kidnapped."

"Because of you?"
She felt him shake his head no.

"She also worked for the government back then.", he left out a few details on purpose. "I would have done anything to get her out."

Teddy realized how much harder it was for him to talk about this. "But you did get her out, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did" He closed his eyes and leant his forehead against the back of her head. It felt so good, to feel a human touch again after all these months. "When we got involved, she had still been married. Her husband returned that day, he got hurt during all that….", his voice was shaking as he continued talking, "… she decided to leave me and to be there for him."

All tensed up, Teddy lay there, listening. I did what I always did, she heard him say.
"You put your life on the line again."

"They were looking for somebody to do a covert mission on Chinese territory. One of the missions that they would always deny. Somehow they did find out my name and then they started haunting me. I staged my own death and disappeared. Our government would either deny that I'm still alive or that they still have anything to do with me. One and a half years later the Chinese got back onto my track and captured me when I came out of hiding for one day."

"When was that?"

"September 20th, 2011" The date had burned itself into his mind. The day when David Palmer died. The day then Tony and Michelle died. The day when he had seen Audrey for the last time.

"That was fourteen months ago…", Teddy whispered. She almost couldn't believe it. She had seen the wounds and the scars all over his body, in all possible stages of healing. Some of his injuries had already healed, long ago. She couldn't imagine how it was like, to be treated like this for fourteen months. It nearly made her cry.

For a few minutes she just lay there and held her own breath. He had turned silent, too.
"What about Audrey?", she finally dared to ask.
She felt him take a few deep breaths.

"Her husband died of his injuries. I didn't see her again until the day when the Chinese got me." He almost couldn't believe it himself that this had been 14 months ago. Maybe she had already forgotten him? No, definitely no. Not Audrey. Not his Audrey.

"You didn't see her in almost three years", Teddy silently remarked.

"I know." Did it sound like pure madness, telling her that he was in love with a woman who he hadn't been with in three years? I will never see her again, his head told him, but his heart told him that she was still out there, somewhere. It was telling him to find her, while his head kept telling him not to do it, just to keep her safe.

They lay there, silently, for quite a while.
Jack felt Teddy's body, her every move. It felt good not to be alone. It felt good to talk to someone. It felt good to feel her lying in his arms, the touch of another human being, one that in no way wanted to harm him.
But yet, it didn't feel right. She was not Audrey. Audrey was out there, somewhere.

Teddy didn't know what to do. She wanted to snuggle up to his body – but for what? He seemed to be a faithful guy. Damnit, was she really complaining about a guy being faithful now? Just because it wasn't her, who he was faithful to?

Slowly freeing herself from his arms around her, she sat up.

Jack opened his eyes again, silently watching her. "Did I upset you? Disappoint you?", he asked.

Sadly smiling, she shook her head. No, she even liked him more, after all. "I'm gonna go to bed now.", she sighed, looking into his eyes. She didn't know how to put it into words what she actually wanted. She wanted him to come with her. To lie down with her and hold her like that again, even if it wouldn't lead to more - because she hated to go to bed alone.

"What if she didn't wait for you?", Teddy whispered.

He knew where was aiming at. "She waited, I am sure.", he softly answered. He couldn't picture Audrey with another man. Not this time. Not after the last time they'd parted.
Even if she hadn't waited for him – he would wait for an indefinite time to get her back. Ever since he had met her, he hadn't wanted anybody else by his side any more.

Embarrassedly, Teddy looked away and then she stood up. Had she ever made advances to somebody like that – being turned down like that? Hell, no.
She hurriedly wished him a good night and shut the door to her bedroom as quick as possible.
Stupid, stupid, girl, she told herself, you're forty, but you're acting like you were fourteen. All night long, all day long, she had felt the butterflies in her stomach of which she once had been sure that they had died of old age, at least a decade ago.

She didn't even realize that tonight, no matter if she was alone or not, she didn't cry herself into sleep, thinking of Henry. Instead, she lay in bed, wide awake, staring at the numbers on her alarm clock. It wasn't even ten… waaaay too early to go to bed. The bottle of wine that she'd bought still stood on the kitchen counter, untouched.
But going back out there was not an option either.
She lay in the darkness and tried to listen what Jack was doing out there. She heard no sound. Was he asleep already? Through the keyhole, she saw that the light out there was still on. A few minutes later, it got darker. Probably he had switched off the lamps, except for the one on the bookshelf, which had always been on during the past nights.

Suddenly, the handle of her door moved and she heard his voice, asking her name. "Can I come in?" He stood out there, waiting for an answer.

She smiled sadly. To give her time to get dressed again? No worries, she never slept naked. "Come in.", she answered, pulling the blanket up to her chin.
She only saw his silhouette in the darkness, limping over to her, holding something in his hands. Damnit, he had found the bottle!

He put the two glasses of red wine down on her bedside table and sat down on the bed, next to her. "You're a beautiful woman, Teddy.", he began, "You're smart, you are strong, you are generous and most likely the kindest person in one in a million." He didn't know how to turn her down without hurting her.

She stretched out her hand and laid it on top of his. "But your heart is taken by someone else…"

He silently nodded yes, thinking of Audrey.
No matter in whose bedroom he was, no matter with who.
"Yes, it is.", he answered, before he leant back.

.

.

Where does being faithful start and where does it end?
How faithful does he need to be in the end, to prove his love for Audrey?
Tell me what you think... & please R&R!

yours, amacma