'That's just because you've been bottling things up Harry,' and 'who are all these children that you're talking about?' had been Ruth's measured response, to him telling her why he'd been yawning and had been miles away when they'd been enjoying breakfast. They'd had a wonderful Christmas surrounded by his family and Ruth had said yes, she'd marry him. He had never felt this happy and yet he was troubled. For the last couple of nights it had been well after midnight by the time that they'd turned in and he still hadn't had a chance to talk to Ruth about the conversations that he'd had with Catherine and Graham. What he'd first perceived to be the impact of having an extended family virtually on their doorstep, had gone from being a happy one, to one that was completely irrational in a house filled to the brim with children and he and Ruth arguing because they'd forgotten to buy the nappies, with years ahead of them before they'd have a moment to themselves.
'Harry this is ridiculous it's never going to happen, what we have is special and once we get home life can only get better,' referred to the fact that they were going to get married and that the last thing that Graham and Lucy intended to do was to encroach on their everyday lives or them on theirs, besides which, coming back to the UK didn't necessarily mean that they wanted to live on the island.
'I rather suspect that they do Ruth, want to live on the island that is. Graham was talking about getting involved in conservation and Lucy working at the hospital so what do they propose doing with Alice?'
Despite what he was saying, she knew that it wasn't the thought of having more children in the house that was bothering him, but an overload of adults much younger than they were and she could concur with that. Adults came with their own problems and somehow he'd managed to convince himself that they'd spend the rest of his days warring between the guilt that he was feeling at not wanting to have his children in their pockets, as opposed to the ordered and gentle pace of life that they'd created for themselves. She also knew that both Catherine and Graham although they were delighted to have been reconciled with their father, appreciated that his current focus had to be on them as a couple and more importantly on Thomas. Harry though was clearly worried and if she wasn't able to convince him otherwise then they needed to talk to Graham and Lucy when they get back, although she very much doubted that at their age they'd want to live in the middle of nowhere like they did. That left Stornoway and all its amenities, where they'd be able to make friends of they own age and had dozens of nurseries where Alice could go, even if they had to help them pay for it.
What she really wanted to tell him was that all this worrying was rather defeating the object of him wanting to spend time on their own, when the children were currently contentedly reconstructing Thomas's beach minus the pebbles that she'd removed in case Alice decided to swallow one. She and Harry were relaxing in front of the picture window overlooking the garden and for all intents and purposes were alone for the first time in days with the prospect of hours of together time before Graham and Lucy got back, so they should be making the most of it. As agitated as he was he was still manging to draw concentric circles on her feet, the first intimate gesture away from the bedroom for days and she was enjoying it, their immediate future mapped out, even before she'd said yes she'd marry him. Before they'd left Scotland they'd made the decision that it would be a huge mistake to uproot themselves as a family at this early stage, added to which she loved her job and Thomas was really starting to blossom.
Bull by the horns time Harry my darling she decided, enough was enough. Any further conversation about Graham's impending move to the UK would put a damper on their entire day, so swinging her feet onto the floor which got his attention, she told him to 'budge up she was moving in.'
'We're babysitting now Harry how complicated can it be?' became the prelude to a kiss that Ruth deepened until she felt Harry relax against her, job done for now at least, as across the room the sound of two children playing contentedly together disappeared.
If it meant that they needed to buy a bigger house so that when Catherine and Callum came to stay with or without a new baby or if next Christmas they had a house full it wouldn't matter. They would always find time for them was how she put it when they finally resurfaced for air.
'I don't know why you put up with me Ruth?' was his way for saying that he was sorry and a question to which he knew the answer, based on the fact that she'd dispelled his demons yet again. He was smiling as was she and it earned him another kiss.
Leaving the door open so that she could hear what was going on, Ruth headed back into the kitchen in search of something for lunch. Lucy had told her that she and Graham were going to shop on the way back and in the meantime, please could they eat as much possible of what was left over in the fridge, which didn't include bacon between two slices of bread please which had been Harry's lunch of choice.
'Grandad's seeping,' was Alice's attempt to tell Ruth why Harry wasn't with them when she and Thomas pottered in announcing that they were hungry. Ruth had been quite inventive in doing Lucy's bidding and there was very little left that warranted the label of edible. A pan of soup based on left over vegetables was simmering on the hob and two plates of sandwiches with various fillings were sitting alongside what was left of a fruit salad and trifle. Moving the pan to the back of the hob well out of the way of the two clambering children, she told them that she'd be back in a minute and not to touch anything.
Alice was right, Harry was dead to the world just where she'd left him, but looking calmer than he had all day. What had he said, I don't know why you put up with me? Well what a load of rubbish that was. It at was at moments like this that her heart went out to him and memories of their years together on the grid when he'd needed her reassurance, flooded back. The days when she'd dared to place her hand on his or rub his arm on the roof terrace were long gone, but she'd never forget them. They were all part of the fabric that had bound them together, why they were here now and were going to get married and why she loved him as much as she did. Because she did love him with every breath in her body so much so that she would do or go anywhere that he asked her, if it made him happy. Stop this she told herself it wasn't the time for nostalgia she had two hungry children waiting, so with a brief kiss, a whisper that she loved him and to sleep tight, she headed back into the kitchen.
Alice had done as she was told, but only Ruth suspected because she couldn't reach the table. Not to touch anything hadn't applied to the sandwiches, most of which lay open having been inspected by Thomas to discover their fillings. The children were standing side by side, their four wide eyes atop of which sat their Santa's little elves hats that they'd refused to relinquish, pleading with Ruth not to be cross. It took all her resolve not to laugh. The table looked like an explosion in a bread factory as she set about trying to put some sort of order into their already dwindling lunch. Prising the children apart she lifted Alice into her high chair and handed her another egg sandwich which appeared to be what she was currently eating before she turned her attention to Thomas. Drinks next which in the children's case had to be a glass of water, she turned the soup back on, grateful that if nothing else there would be something left for Harry when he woke up. Wiping the table and pondering if perhaps Harry was right and life ahead was always going to be this chaotic, she helped herself to a sandwich with an indistinguishable filling and sat down.
'We need to leave some of that for Harry,' she told Thomas when he asked if he could have another helping of trifle. He and Alice appeared to have developed a language all of their own which didn't involve talking, as they'd giggled their way through what remained of their lunch. It was lovely to see them getting along so well but it was a language that as yet she hadn't mastered, but she'd have to learn and quickly.
With lunch over and a visit to the bathroom to wash faces and fingers, she marshalled them back into the sitting room.
'Shush,' Thomas whispered to Alice, when he'd been to look at Harry and discovered he was still asleep.
Shush indeed thought Ruth would be blissful, but she needed to find something to occupy the children until Harry woke up. Up until then she hadn't had a chance to see the present that Thomas had been given but she was about to find out and to realise that for a six year old, not only was he artistic but what an impression the days on what she and Harry had christened their beach, had made. With Alice now happily building and then knocking over her pile of bricks, Ruth settled down and watched Thomas.
'It hasn't got any steps like ours, but I've drawn a picture of them for Alice,' he told her patting her arm to get her attention before handing her one of his several drawings. 'There's the fire that Harry lit, the day that we went there with Rory,' was just one of the many other things in his picture. The sand and the starfish that Harry had found and about everything else that they'd done or discovered during their various visits was there. But it was the way that he was describing the beach that was having the biggest impact on Ruth, as though he understood what they'd been trying to create. A special place where he was safe and where nobody could hurt him should have been way beyond a young child's comprehension, but it was exactly what they'd tried to do and had seemingly gone some way to achieving.
Explanation over it was time for Alice's nap, so Ruth settled her down in an adjacent chair and continued to watch Thomas drawing. The concentration on his face was extraordinary and she could almost hear the cogs in his head turning as he pieced together a picture of the village where they lived and their house. If nothing else, perhaps as far as he was concerned they had truly turned a corner.
After a day that had been frenetic and fired with emotions, what remained of their day until Graham and Alice arrived back had been calm and for Harry a lifesaver as he slept on undisturbed. The children had behaved in every sense of the word until they'd both fallen asleep at each end of the sofa whilst watching a film. Now that they were safely tucked in bed with dinner over, he and Ruth were sitting around the fire with the chance to have that oh so important conversation with Graham and Lucy.
Ruth kick started it by saying that there was something that they wanted to ask them.
He'd fallen in love with the simplicity of the way of life on the island when he and Catherine had come to stay with them and yes if he and Lucy could both find work then they'd like to live there, but they had absolutely no intension of living in their pockets, Graham assured them, or more precisely Harry. They'd been struggling with city life for a while and living in a small flat with a growing child wasn't what they wanted anymore and particularly for Alice who rarely saw other children.
'And now those two have met,' was said with a nod towards the bedroom, 'it gives Alice the chance to have the brother that we can't give her,' were powerful words and Ruth who had insisted on holding Harry's hand throughout the conversation had seen Harry's other hand moving in a familiar motion across his forehead. Whether he'd be able to hold back the tears that she knew were building she wasn't sure, or how Graham would react if he saw his father cry, prompted her to ask what if anything they thought they should do on Thomas's birthday.
'It was going to be a surprise but I'll go and get it,' Lucy suggested having jumped on the same bandwagon as Ruth, returning a few moments later with a Happy Birthday Thomas cake, loaded with chocolate buttons.
'His presents sorted out as well, we did that before we left Ottawa,' Graham told them, but with no clue as to what it was, before adding that they were knackered and that if it was OK with them, then he and Lucy were going to get an early night.
It was only nine o'clock and the first evening for a week when they'd had a real chance to spend some quality time on their own. They had one of two choices, they could either go to bed and talk there, or put some more wood on the fire and stretch out on the sofa. They chose that latter at least for the moment and while Ruth made some tea, Harry pondered the subject of their wedding which had been the other thing that he'd been mulling over. At home in Scotland where else could it be and yes in the church if that was what Ruth wanted, Harry agreed without argument. He'd been aiming for romantic and unusual and had quite liked the idea of a wedding on the beach. But Ruth was right it could easily be scuppered by the weather. What Ruth would wear was the next subject for discussion on Harry's list and yes the dress that she'd worn on New Year's Eve would be lovely and if she insisted that she wanted to wear that then he wouldn't argue. But this was their wedding and if it was going to be conventional then what she wore was supposed to be a surprise, certainly to him, so she needed another trip into Stornoway with Rose. What he wouldn't be shaken on was his insistence that he buy her an engagement ring and was adamant that he was also going to have a wedding ring, something that he had vehemently refused Jane. Guests well the family obviously and Malcolm if he wasn't off touring the globe somewhere plus of course Michael who was essential to proceedings, Rose and the children. The only question was when and that meant that they had to tell Graham and Lucy and discuss the logistics of them moving.
'And so to bed,' from Harry had resulted in them waking much later than normal.
'Please Harry,' had finally got Ruth what she'd been pleading for and what they both needed, before he'd folded her into his arms and told her to go to sleep and thanked her for being so lovely.
Graham had clearly taken on board what Harry had said, as a perceptive Lucy delivering their morning tea, told them that the children had already had their breakfast and that she and Graham were about to take them out for a walk.
'We'll be ages, Graham says you ought to try the hot tub,' she told them.