It was not the early morning light, which woke him up. It was close to midday, when he stirred, feeling the warm rays of the sun touch the part of his back which wasn't covered by the blanket.

He opened his eyes and found himself still lying in Audrey's arms.
It was a dream come true.

"Jack?", she silently asked, running her hand through his hair.

He didn't even want to move. "Yes?", he asked, running his hand softly across her belly. He saw his knuckles. They were bruised and red, like his fingers were. The more he moved, the more everything started to hurt again.

She asked him how he was.
He didn't know what to answer. Should he just lie and say he was okay, like he always did? He was past that point. He didn't want to hide this from her, even though he actually wanted to be the one to protect her.

He slowly rose up from her chest, resting his weight on his arms. "I feel like hell. And I look like hell, for sure.", he answered. He wanted to stay honest. Whenever Teri had asked him, how he was, he had always lied to her, telling her he was okay, no matter what was really going on.
He didn't want to play that game with Audrey.

She slid a bit closer, and softly grabbed his neck. It seemed like it was one of the spots where she didn't have to be afraid of hurting him, when she touched him. "Yes. And no.", she answered, smiling at him. "I like you just the way you are."

Slowly, he bent down and kissed her, picking up from where they had left off, the night before, kissing her throat, her chest, grabbing her bra with his teeth, implicitly telling her to take it off. She rolled over to let him open up the clasp.

He froze, as he saw her back. There were lash marks on her, not as many not as deep ones like he had them, but each one of the five dark red stripes was one too much. It was the first time that he saw them, now, in the daylight.

When she realized that he didn't open up her bra, she slightly turned her head, finding him staring. "Jack?", she asked. She needed a while to even realize what he was staring at. It was long since they had stopped to hurt… she had totally forgotten about them.

He couldn't stand that view. He felt the anger boiling, the anger at Cheng, at the system that had made him an outlaw, but above all anger at himself, for failing to protect her. "This is my fault…", he breathed, and every fear that he'd ever had seemed to come over him, "I ruined your life, Audrey." She had given everything up, when she had decided to run off with a pitiful creature like him.

"No, you didn't." She sat up, facing him. "There's nothing you could have changed."

"You went there because of me." He still heard Heller's voice, as he'd been talking to him on the phone, two days ago, getting the dressing-down of his life.

"I went there. It was my choice.", she hissed.

"I can't stand to see that you got hurt because of me.", he breathed, desperately fighting the tears. He wanted to make this all undone, to turn back time. Ever since he'd seen these five dark red stripes on her back, he couldn't get that picture out of his mind, seeing her in the place where he'd been.

"And what about me?", she almost shouted, grabbing him by his shoulders, even though she knew how much she'd hurt him with this. "Do you think I feel any better, seeing you like this?"

This had suddenly become one of the most honest talks they'd eved had. It nearly led to a fight.

For a minute, they both sat at the bed, staring at each other.

"I tell myself that I did anything I could to get you out of there.", she whispered. "And you did the same." The pictures of seeing him walk towards her, during that exchange, willing to go back into hell just to get her out of there, replayed in her head. "You wanted to go back into hell just to get me out of there.", she continued, softly stroking over the laceration at his right temple. "you did go back to hell.", she added. He hadn't had that one, as she'd seen him walk towards the ship.
She had seen that awful lot of hurts yesterday, when he'd been lying at that table in the ICU ward, half naked, in front of her.
"I guess you didn't even hesitate", she tonelessly added.

"I would do anything for you.", he said. It didn't matter if going to hell or somewhere else.

"We have to learn to live with what happened to us, and what brought us here.", she whispered into his ear. "Can you do that for me?"

Right now, he wasn't sure if that wasn't even harder than going back to hell. He hated to see the marks on her back. He could only imagine how she must feel, seeing him in the state that he was in.

"I am so sorry", he whispered, again and again, as she held him close.

"Stop saying that. There's nothing to be sorry for."

As she stood in this corridor, with its concrete walls and heartless metal doors, which made it look like a bunker, she was nervously waiting for the door on the other side to open up. Two guards finally came out, bringing Owen along with them.

She didn't know what to say at all.

He came over, close to tears, as he saw her, and hugged her. "Are you alright, Teddy?", his voice was shaking, as he said it.

"I am", she silently answered, feeling like a traitor. She had read his statement, back and forth, forty times, just so her answers would be in line with what he expected her to say.

"Teddy, when he held that gun to your head…", he sobbed, "… I felt so helpless. I wanted to protect you from that guy and I failed..."

She felt that he was crying now.
"Are you gonna be okay? Are they gonna let you go?" She needed to make sure that would be okay, and not one more 'collateral damage' of what had happened around here.

"Yes, they have nothing to charge me with. I didn't do anything wrong." He took a few deep breaths. He'd had time during the past hours, to think about her, himself and anything. Being alone in that room, cuffed and condemned to stay there, with that picture in his head of seeing her being dragged away by this man,… he figured that there was no worse moment in his whole life.

He straightened up a little and made her look at him. "Teddy?"

She still hadn't said much. She didn't know what to say. Having agreed to Heller's offer had been the wrong thing to do. But she couldn't change it any more. With every other hour, she got deeper into the shit.
Hesitatingly, she brought herself to look into his eyes.

"Teddy, I didn't realize it… until it was almost too late.", he began. Almost losing her had shaken him more than he'd have ever though. "I love you."

"What?!", was the only thing that escaped her lips, she didn't even realize how inappropriate it was as an answer.

She ripped herself free from him and ran away.

Jack asked himself why he felt so uncomfortable, getting undressed with Audrey being here as well. Why had it been so easy with Teddy, just a week ago? She had seen him naked as well. Had it been easier just because he hadn't seen her as a woman, but 'only' as a doctor, a professional, who had to do this?

Being here in the shower, with her, feeling her hands washing over him, softly enough not to hurt, was the best thing he'd felt in months, no years. His eyes closed, he stood there, letting her do with him whatever she wanted. He let the water run over his face, so she wouldn't see the tears that mixed with it.

What the hell was he crying about? No matter how much he wanted himself to stop, he just couldn't.
Was it the memory of what they had done to him, whenever she softly placed a kiss one one of the marks on his battered body, and let the water run over it? Was it the memory, of getting hurt like that? No.
Probably it was just the memory of being so helpless against it. He couldn't put it in words.

She made him turn around and carried on on his back. Washing the last traces of blood off, kissing and caressing each of the scars that they had left there. The water that ran down his legs, from his feet to the drain had been slightly colored red in the beginning. Not any more now.
He leant his arms against the wall, staring at the cold white tiles. For the first time at all, it felt good to have someone taking care of him. He remembered almost freaking out when he'd felt Teddy's hands on his back, dressing his wounds.
But now, feeling Audrey's hands, was different. He didn't ever want this to stop. When she was finished washing his back he silently asked her to continue. She hugged him from behind, letting the water wash over both of them.
It was when he realized that the need to cry had finally stopped.

He screwed up all his courage and finally took the piece of soap out of her hands, turning around to her. Looking at her face only, he started to move the piece of soap over her skin, afraid to look down on her, for there could be something again, that he'd probably find.
She was wordlessly telling him to get rid of his worries and do it.
To make it easier for him, she even closed her eyes.

He ran the piece of soap over her throat and her chest, letting the water rush over it and kissing her wet skin. He bent down and kissed her breasts, one by one, after softly washing her skin, went to his knees and kissed her belly.
Grabbing her by her hips, he slowly made her turn around. He had to face this, she was right. How should he be with her, when seeing her body would make him jump? When he was afraid of undressing her, for he could find something underneath her clothes that he didn't like to see there?
In slow motions, he ran the piece of soap over the red marks on her skin. Kissing them, running his lips over them, embracing them as a part of what made them both who they were right now.
He would have to talk to her about this, one day, he realized. About how she'd gotten them. And eventually, he'd have to tell her about his memories. They couldn't not talk about this, letting it stay the big elephant in the room.
He remembered the advice, that he'd given Teddy: talk about the past, even if it hurts, even if it is uncomfortable.

An hour later, they lay in bed together, naked, and in each other's arms. He screwed up all his courage, and started to talk, knowing that uncontrolled sobs would shake him and that it would feel like experiencing all the pain again.
But there would be someone at his side this time, holding him as long as it would take to get better again.

.

.

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Enough now... J/A deserved a happy ending for a change.
Thanks for reading, please review! Thx, amacma