Chapter 9: Nerves

MAX:

That was the first night in a while where I didn't have a nightmare. I woke up pressed against Chloe's warm body. Her tattooed arm was draped over me, blanket separating it from direct touch.

The smell of her cherry blossom shampoo gently wafted into my nostrils. I didn't detect any hints of cigarette smoke, she actually hadn't been smoking recently.

I was sensing that Chloe was beginning to let go of Rachel. I guess I should've been happy, but I felt like I was stealing her away. This left me with a burning sense of guilt.

It was pitch black in there, so I flicked on a lamp.

I lifted her arm off of myself, feeling the pressure of a full bladder, so I got out of bed and she woke up too.

She mumbled, half asleep, "Hey, where are you going?"

"The bathroom," I went in and did my business.

I came back out to find Chloe had knocked out again, the time on the bedside digital clock read: 4:17 A.M.

I lay back down beside her and draped my arm around her beneath the blanket, pulling us closer, sharing our warmth.

Max...Max...wake up…

She tickled my nose with something that felt like a feather.

I slapped myself in the face and yelped out of surprise.

"Sorry! I just wanted you to wake up," she'd tickled me with a makeup brush.

My voice was muffled because I put the pillow over my face, "What time is it?"

"Time for you to wake up, that's what time it is."

I groaned, "Five more minutes, pleaaaaase."

"Fine, five minutes and your skinny white ass is out of that bed."

I kept the pillow over my face, "You're one to talk, being skinny and white."

About five minutes passed, and I got up without her needing to remind me.

I opened my eyes, pupils dilating at the light that filled the room.

I read the clock as I popped my anti-anxiety pills: 11:32 A.M.

"Holy shit, I slept for a long time. Didn't I?"

She grinned as she sat on the edge of the bed in her sleep attire, which consisted of a shirt a few sizes too large and old shorts, "So did I. I only woke up a few minutes before you did...you hungry?"

My stomach growled a well timed growl, she heard it and grinned, "I'll take that as a yes."

We got ready and left, finding a breakfast burrito place to eat at.

Hands down the best breakfast burritos I've ever eaten. Sorry, Joyce.

As we drove, I held my camera in my lap with Chloe at the wheel. Chloe had given it to me a long time ago, William's old camera. It was a late birthday gift, but a fantastic one.

The flash of the camera made me flinch, even though I was expecting it.

She jumped too, "Woah! That scared the shit out of me."

The picture caught her face mid-startle with her mouth wide open and eyes partially shut.

She chuckled, "What the hell, Max? What have you been learning in photography class?"

"How to take hilarious pictures of you, of course."

I used that picture as a bookmark during the time I read The Outsiders.

Anxious heartbeats pounded within me as I twirled my streak of blue hair around my fingers.

A question burned inside of me, leaving a horrific aching feeling within my gut. I didn't want to ask, but I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to fend off this sense of guilt and anxiety.

Chloe was at the wheel, intently focused on the road. Redwood trees towered over us in all directions.

Before I could stop myself I blurted, "Do you still love Rachel?"

I immediately tried to rewind as my heart fluttered out of my chest, but I dropped my arm, remembering the futility of trying to.

The truck began to slow down as a car behind us rode our ass. She pulled over onto the side of the road, and shifted into neutral, foot on the brake.

She stared down at the floorboards of the truck, wide eyed..

Stuttering escaped her mouth as she tried to formulate a response, "I...wh...I don't know."

I pulled my legs up onto the seat, burying my head in them, "I'm so sorry, Chloe. I-I don't know why I asked."

Cars blew past us as she gawked at me.

Her eyes went wide as if she'd come to a sudden realization, she pulled her beanie off and held it on her lap.

"Holy shit…...I don't know…"

"Chloe...I'm sorry I-"

She interrupted me, waving her hand in annoyance, "No, Max. I mean...I don't know anymore, she hurt me. I feel like she threw me away, like a piece of trash."

A sniffle escaped her nostrils as her eyes welled up, "She cheated on me, with Frank of all people. I-I don't know if I'll ever be able to get past that."

Tears rolled down her face, and I wiped them for her with some napkins we had in the glovebox. The magnum revolver was no longer in there, Chloe gave it back to David of her own accord, even apologizing for doing it. Chloe had changed so much in the time I'd spent with her, and I'd changed a lot too.

I patted her cheeks, drying them of tears, "Do you still want to go see her?"

She took in a deep breath and exhaled, looking rather cheerless, "Yes, I still need to see her."

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to ask you that…"

"Quit apologizing," she tried to grin and failed, "Max, the past few months I've spent with you are the best I've had in a long time. I hope you feel the same way."

Her hand reached for mine, pulling me closer to her as I leaned my head on her shoulder, "These past few months have been magical, Chloe."

We set off again, making it to Sacramento by nightfall.