Chapter Eleven
"I like you." She simply declares. "Do you like me back?"
Oikawa doesn't dare to move under her gaze.
This girl is too honest for her own good. He wonders how someone can be so light and reveal their game just like this. It's something he could never bring himself to do. He gently fixes a strand of hair behind her ear.
"You got me wrapped around your finger since the beginning."
"Stop fooling around," Ame mutters.
She always felt it, that little something that throws her off a bit, but right now it is clearer than ever. Oikawa Toru is a facade. He'll never let anyone close enough to see through the thick layers he built. His heart is buried deep and he has no intention to gift it. At times she did perceive some peaks of what's underneath the shell, like that evening after the practice match in the garden, when he let himself be, or maybe he just slipped, too caught of in the moment, but that breach closed just as quickly as it cracked. Oikawa constantly wears a mask and no one knows what is behind it.
She almost tells him it is alright if he doesn't answer. But she can't because she wants to know so bad, and once she sets her mind on something she is too stubborn to let go. Even if it'll cause more pain than good.
She tilts her head.
"Is it so hard for you to acknowledge your feelings?"
Oikawa pulls his collar.
"You're merciless Ame-chan." He sighs. "You already know everything but you just want me to admit it, don't you?"
Since when have the tables turn? Since when is she the one leading the play, when he made all the moves until now? Oikawa has been thinking the whole time that he is the master of the game, the one who guides the whimsical dance they've been keeping on around each other. Maybe he's been wrong.
"No, I don't. I never know those kind of things. You're making me more subtle than I really am." She admits bitterly. "It's the opposite, actually. You're the one who never tells me anything and I, I can't read you."
She stares at the ground and refuses to meet his eyes. Oikawa wants to punch himself. He should just tell her what she wants to hear and that would settle the issue. But the words won't come out. The fact is, he doesn't even know how he feels, and even if he did, he has no idea how to deal with it. He never has confessed to anyone. He never has directly told anyone what he felt for them, because he's always joking and hiding when it comes down to it. He always sounds over affectionate to keep control over others but he never says the important things. The ones that matter. And that's the walking contradictory mess he really is.
"I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm sorry."
"Too bad." She chuckles bitterly.
It aches. She has just shown herself to him, her feelings, the most intimate thing she owns, just to be left with no answer. A cry in the wind. A drop of water in a puddle.
"Alright." She takes a deep breath and exhales. Maybe that's the end, but at least she wants to know. In her mind, there is only one reason that would make him so hesitant. She's not sure if you wants to know, and if it turns out to be what she thinks it'll devastate her. But sometimes you have to destroy yourself to get something.
She looks at him right in the eye and he's drawn in the fierce tone of her voice.
"Is there anyone else you're unsure about?"
There is. He's a player. I'm sure he isn't spending all his time with just me and my stupid self. I should have known, he can have way better than me.
Oikawa flinches and straightens his back.
"What?! Who do you take me for? Of course you're the only one I-" he stops, short on words. What comes next?
Ame turns away and hides her face. She's going to cry, Oikawa thinks. It's over, the jerkface he is just broke her heart.
"Hey…" he grabs her wrist and makes her look at him. He sees with relief that her face is perfectly dry. There's even something different that graces her features.
Amusement?
Oikawa is too shocked to say anything.
"So to sum up, you don't want to decide on whether you like me or not, but you can assure I'm the only one."
She laughs quietly, because he's such an idiot and his dumbfounded look right now is just priceless. Bastard made her doubt herself so much.
Finally he recovers and puts his large hand on the top of her head.
"Are you laughing at me now Ame-chan? That's just so mean after what you've just put me through."
"You deserve it." The replies comes sharper than she intended. "You're an idiot" she says softly, more composed now. "Misaki was right, you're a problem. You attract problems. A problem child that problems everything."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"See, you're problematic."
She waves his hand off her hair and confronts him.
"You'll fall for me." She decides with a smile. No doubts now, she looks more like herself. "If you're hesitating right now, I'll make sure there's nothing to think about. I will make you fall for me. Until your pretty prickly face sees mine in everything, anytime."
She's crazy, he muses. What kind of mess has he got himself into? Only twisted girls would make such statements. But the truth is, he can hear his stupid heart beating like a drum and seeing the glow of defiance in her black eyes, he's certain she can as well. You're a genius, he thinks. A manipulative mastermind who'll play me until there's nothing left. And he can't even stop himself. He must be even crazier.
"I'll look forward to it. Good luck with that." He smirks.
She smirks back.
"Wow, they're really tall for middle schoolers aren't they?"
"That's because you're a shorty." Misaki waves off.
"Hey! I'm not short, I'm almost 1.70 meters tall! "
"That's what they all say," she smirks.
Ame slaps her friend's hand.
"Rude!"
"Careful" Misaki rubs her taped fingers. "Those hands are precious."
"Oh, sorry."
Ame can't believe it's already near the end of her first year of high school. Between classes, homework and practice, it happened so fast. But at least, things are about to begin. Under the bleachers, several courts foster the players' ruthless matches. All of them middle schoolers who'll soon graduate and start high school. All of them potential teammates.
They wait in the hallway for a group of girls to come out once they finish their games.
"They're from Hachizuke aren't they?" The wing spiker asks.
"Yeah, it's not too far from our school so a lot of them come to Ishihara in junior high."
"Nice. Try to smile and look cool."
"I always look cool." Misaki replies but Ame has already stepped towards the younger girls.
"Hi everyone!" She greets merrily.
Misaki crosses her arms around her chest while she watches her friend chat with the group. A few giggles erupt and they talk for a bit before some girls take their leave. Only two of them remain and Misaki decides to join them.
"It's my friend, Fukuoka Misaki." Ame introduces.
"Hi, I'm cool and a setter. Not necessarily in that order." She sends a side glance to Ame who chuckles.
Misaki looks at the two girls in front of them. They are shorter than her but not by much, at least for the one who holds a bottle, and that's good given that Misaki is quite tall.
"I'm Murano Reika!" the one on the left bows, her wavy short hair dangle against her neck.
"I'm Hasegawa Nao." The other says with a small voice. She's petite and probably the cutest child one has ever seen.
Misaki nods.
"They're going to be our juniors next year!" Ame beams.
"Really? Do you intend to join the club then?"
"Yes, Fukuoka-senpai!"
Misaki'll never admit it, but she loves to be called that way. It won't be unpleasing to hear it everyday.
"That's great" she smirks. "I can't wait to work with you."
"Yeah" Ame adds. "It'll be fun. Let's do our best, and go to Nationals, and win all our games."
"Isn't that a bit early to make plans?" Misaki asks. "You're always going too fast."
"That's because I'm a thunder lightning. I don't wait for anything," she winks.
Misaki shakes her head.
"Plus" Ame raises a finger in the air "don't you think it's thrilling to aim for the biggest target?"
"Definitely" Reika replies without missing a beat. Nao nods shyly.
"Ha, see? We're going to make an awesome team!" Ame flings her arms around the girls' shoulders. "I think we were made for one another."
Reika giggles and Nao blushes. Misaki smirks.
"Let the poor kids go, you're making everyone uncomfortable."
"Rude!" Ame sticks her tongue.
Misaki turns to the other two.
"Sorry about that, everthing is not quite right in her mind."
The middle schoolers look amused at their antics.
"Hey!"
"But I can assure you one thing, she knows how to get a spike in." She says more seriously.
Ame gives her a complicit look.
"You're going to embarass me!" She jokes. "But one thing's sure, I can't wait to play with you" she beams.
Nao and Reika like the two girls already.
Ame puts on her sneakers and closes her locker. Already in her tracksuit, she stretches cautiously while she waits for Misaki for their daily run to Amano's gym. It's become a habit to warm up that way before the few hours of torture -cough- practice the coach indulges them with. And true to his word, he kept his promise: the girls are now quite good with receives. It has been something ridiculously long and rigorous to instil into their clumsy way of moving on court, but after hours of shouting and scolding and desperately pulling his hair of frustration on the coach's part, the girls can manage to save a ball not too badly. They're a little above average, not by much, but that's a big step forward. And given the short months it took and the fact that he didn't lose all his hair, Amano is quite proud of their achievement. No more ugly beginner's receives.
"Kozuki!"
Ame turns towards the voice which belongs to a boy, one of her classmate. She believes he's part of the boys volleyball team.
"Kazuo? Is anything wrong?"
He looks distraught.
"Something happened! You have to come, it's your friend." He speaks so fast it takes a moment for her to understand the meaning of his words.
She drops her bag and follows him through the corridors.