Part 3
With a gentle touch and a foolish love
May 10 1994
A month later, Skye was starting to identify with that one Plath poem about pregnancy, She had to look it up to be sure of the wording. And by look it up, she had to waddle her way to the nearest vehicle and jump start it. Then use the map in the glove box to figure out how to get to downtown Cincinnati and locate the local public library. The easiest part was actually tracking the specific collection down in the library. And all of it was done without the express permission of her live-in doula.
Exhausted, she sat in the aisle, leaned up against the bottom shelves, and ran her finger along the lines of the passage:
" I'm a riddle in nine syllables,
An elephant, a ponderous house,
A melon strolling on two tendrils.
O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers!
This loaf's big with its yeasty rising.
Money's new-minted in this fat purse.
I'm a means, a stage, a cow in calf.
I've eaten a bag of green apples,
Boarded the train there's no getting off."
The last line stuck out to Skye - the finality of their shared situation. She stayed in the aisle for half the day. Finally, she used the payphone and called Kai to come get her.
He found her back in the aisle, the Plath collection resting on her bulging stomach, the fading sunlight streaming in through the windows dimly lighting the corridor.
"Next time you decide to be a renegade, pick a cooler destination."
He plopped down next to her, picking up the book. He read over the title and its author.
"Does this mean, after you have the babies, you're gonna stick your head in an oven?" he quipped.
Skye scoffed, "Such a wonderful poet, and that's all she will be remembered for." Then she shrugged. "Might try it though. Wouldn't stay permanently dead after all. We haven't tried carbon monoxide poisoning yet."
"Just wait till you're done breast-feeding," he replied with an air of great disinterest, flipping through the book.
She rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to dissuade me."
"Think about it, babe. Could I ever dissuade you from anything?"
She chose that moment to lean her head against his shoulder in lieu of answering.
She felt him chuckle. "Remember that time you thought it would be a good idea to tattoo the lyrics of a Tears for Fears song permanently onto your skin?"
"And I still don't regret it."
Reading the passage over his shoulder, she wished that she had a way to tattoo herself again, without risking serious injury or infection. With the guidance of a professional artist. She would pick this poem in a heartbeat:
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
"And all these words are supposed to mean something?" Kai scoffed, waving his hand over the page. "Because it reads like gibberish to me."
Skye rolled her eyes and looked up at him, her hands resting where the book once was - on her tiny miracles. Their impossibilities.
She gazed at him, at his slightly curled lip, his wrinkled nose, and hooded eyes, and was unnerved by the tender fondness she felt. It was too easy to be like this with him lately.
(God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I think I made you up inside my head.)
"Yeah, I think I get what she meant," she confesses, softly, like a sinner in a church.
Two weeks later, Skye awakened to wet sheets and a sharp cramp in her pelvis, a pressure building between her legs.
"Kai!" she called.
She expected a leisurely stroll up the stairs from him, unconcerned about her pain. But he must've sensed the panic in her voice because he was the in the room much quicker than expected, his lips a flat line and his face white.
"I think it's happening, Kai."
He observed the large wet stain and then promptly turned and ran out of the room. Her mouth dropped open in shock but she shut it as she heard the water faucet start running across the hall.
She tried to stand. Another contraction wracked through her, causing her to fall back down the bed.
That was when Kai returned, immediately striding to her side and helping her stand.
He led her across the hall into the bathroom and straight to the clawfoot tub. Overcome, she sat on the edge of the tub as Kai worked to lift her oversized shirt off, exposing her sports bra.
"Am I giving birth in the water?" she asked.
He was shimmying her sweatpants and underwear down when he answered, "I did some research on it. I think it's the best option we have."
"It's too early, isn't it?" She swung her legs over the edge and eased herself down into the warm water with Kai's assistance.
"Thirty-six weeks is what most O.B.s shoot for with twins. They'll be small, but hopefully healthy."
Two hours later and she was still in pain.
Kai kneeled next to the tub, his clinical eyes on her lower half. He had just measured her dilation - she was at 5 inches basically. She had roughly five more to go.
"Just knock me out, please," Skye begged.
"Nope, babe. Got to do this the medieval way."
He dipped his hand in the water, checking its temperature once more. He kept refilling it, making sure it was warm.
"How did they do it?" she questioned, half-delirious from the pain.
"Well, most of the time, I think they died…"
She groaned, sinking further down into the tub, her half-wet hair dipping back in the water. He smoothed it away from her chest.
"Think of the bright side, babe. You can't die."
"Not so sure," she gritted out, "...that's a bright side right now."
Four hours later, the last light rays of day dying through the panes of the window beside her, Skye felt the pressure intensifying - the urge to push.
She informed him and Kai got into position to receive, towels and two stolen hospital umbilical clamps at the ready.
She only remembered everything in her aching - her teeth, her legs, her head - as she pushed them out, one by one, into the warm water.
She watched through a haze as Kai cleaned them up and cut their cords. He told her, over their combined wailing, one was a boy, like she had expected. But, to her surprise, the other - the first one out - was a girl.
They looked so small, their little faces smushed.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
Dazedly, she committed the parental cliche of counting their toes and fingers. She hoped nothing was wrong with the rest of them.
"What is today?" She managed to ask. "In real time?"
"May 22, 2004. They're little Geminis, babe."
She felt more energized after she delivered the afterbirth into the bloody water - by herself since Kai was attending to the wailing newborns. She was more than ready to clean herself up and officially begin motherhood.
When night had completely fallen, she was up out of the bathtub and changing into more comfortable clothes. She replaced the bed sheets, the water stain long dried by now.
She returned to the bed, rubbing her hand over her still distended stomach. But - she remembered from the several pregnancy books she read out of boredom - breastfeeding was supposed to help women regain their original shape and size. She was ready to start it if it meant she could go back to feeling a little bit normal again.
After a moment, Kai entered through the door, wheeling two bassinets simultaneously. He rolled them over to her bedside and smirked as he observed her upright in bed, her hands held out eagerly. "Whoa," he said, "If I had known what a champ you were gonna be during labor, I would've knocked you up sooner."
She only gave him her patented unamused face in reply and shook her arms insistently.
"Seriously, " he continued, throwing out his arms. "I thought you would be screaming all these horrible nasty things at me. About how I was never gonna touch you again. How this was all my fault. Which probably would've screwed up my concentration. Maybe cause me to drop a baby. But you didn't." Then his gaze turned thoughtful. "I guess you've always had a high pain tolerance."
The look that followed after that pronouncement she could only describe as a leer, accompanied by a more subtle, appreciative smile.
"Give them to me," she commanded. "Now."
She fed the girl first, because she was the most fussy right then. Wailing, with her face screwed up. She calmed down when Skye was able to get her to latch.
The boy woke up not long after that with a single pitiful cry. Kai picked him up and they traded babies.
He took a little longer to latch, but his eyes were already open. Ardently, she studied him.
A dusting of fine, dark hair covered his head, and his eyes were a deep blue. His sister resembled him, even though Skye had yet to see her eyes, she knew they were probably the same color.
They looked entirely like Kai, she wasn't sure if there was any bit of her in them.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
She glanced up at Kai then. He had settled into a chair by her bedside, holding the girl out in front of him, one large hand supporting her head. He gazed down at her, his expression unreadable.
"I think I have names for them."
"Really?"he asked flatly without looking up.
"Yep. Mali and Kaia."
Instantly, he shot her a dark look, the harsh expression warring with the image of him he was currently creating - cradling a newborn baby girl so gently. He huffed, "Give them some individuality, babe. Names are pretty significant in witch families."
"I'm not a witch," she reminded imperiously before her gaze returned to the bundle in her arms. He had his eyes closed now, but he kept sucking away. She ran a finger over his barely there eyebrow before she traced his button nose.
"Besides, they look just like you," she said quietly. In her periphery, she noticed Kai shaking his head ever so slightly. She eyed him, as he brought the baby girl closer, against his chest, fingertips brushing her cheek. A gesture reminiscent of one he'd performed on Skye herself several times.
"I think she looks like you," Kai told her. "With her face all pinched up right now like it is."
She rolled her eyes. "Okay, how do you feel about literary names?"
He shrugged, leaning back in his chair, nestling the baby in his arms more securely, bracing his elbows against the armrest. "Depends on what they are."
"Hero."
Kai's head tilted. "For him?" he asked, tipping his head toward the bundle in her arms.
"No, her," Skye answered, indicating the one in his arms.
Kai's face scrunched up in confusion. "Then what did you have in mind for him?"
"Hareton."
Kai's face grew even more mystified. "What books are you reading?"
"They're classics," she defended. "Hero is Shakespeare. Hareton's from Wuthering Heights. " She glanced down at the baby in her arms. He looked like a Hareton. Little Hareton.
"Yeah," Kai broke through her thoughts. "No. I'm gonna have to veto those. Too weird."
She huffed, "Both were the names of characters that were misunderstood and mistreated in their respective narratives. I thought you would appreciate that." She had soft spots for the characters - and peering back up at Kai, she realized it explained a lot.
"Aww, how sweet, babe," he mocked, clutching his hand to his chest.
Irritation flared inside her. "Fine, I choose Issac and Nicoletta."
Instantly, Kai's jaw clenched, his features going dark again. "Skye."
She sighed and let a few moments pass before she spoke again, to diffuse the tense moment."For someone who had no interest in what they were named, you're sure being difficult about it now."
"I don't care," he claimed before he relented, "You know what, name 'em whatever you want. Just please don't dress them in matching clothes."
"I'm not gonna do that," she promised. "I still like the first option though."
"Naming them after me?"
She nodded. "I'm surprised you objected to it."
His gaze was thoughtful now. "Not a big fan of my name in case you haven't noticed."
"Maybe that's why I chose them," she muttered, but then added, ever stubborn, "I still like those names the best though." Mali definitely fit the little boy in her arms better. And Kaia seemed like the right fit too for the girl in her father's arms - little Kaia who yawned as Skye glanced up at them and in response received one of the biggest grins Skye thought she'd had ever seen on Kai's face. Little Kaia, who seemed to be on the verge of stealing what little heart her father had. Skye smiled softly as she observed them. "You know, you can pick their middle names if you want."
He waved a hand dismissively. "It doesn't matter what they're named. I'm still gonna call them Thing 1 and Thing 2."
"No, you are not," she replied vehemently.
"How about Luke and Leia?"
"You want them to be incestuous?"
"It was retroactive."
It was when they barely slept that night, too attuned to the bassinets in the corner and any sound they made, that he had a proper suggestion.
"I like the names Portland and Salem." His voice was uncharacteristically quiet and solemn.
Her chest ached instantly for the cities she had never returned to - could never return to, really.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
"They wouldn't be bad middle names," she conceded, her eyes drifting shut against her volition.
Skye allowed herself to finally hope it might not be too bad - this little future they had managed to cultivate.
So I decided to add this little chapter to show I haven't stopped writing and I haven't given up on them. Real life is difficult and it gets in the way. Thank you guys so much for everything.