Chapter 13

*A POV*

During the last 7 weeks I began going to therapy and started to try to make an effort for my friends and family. After my break down in front of Christian, I realized how right he was. Brian wouldn't like what I've been doing to myself. It's still hard and painful but I'm trying to move forward, and now here I am sitting in my car contemplating if I can do this. Since I learned about Brian's dead I haven't visited him - this is the first time that I'm going to see his grave.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly get out of my car. My knees are shaking as I walk towards his grave. 'You can do this Ana. You have to'. Standing in front of his gravestone, I finally realize it. He really is gone. My eyes begin to water. I sink to my knees and begin to cry, my hands are in covering my face as I sob.

"I... I can't do this anymore Brian. It's hurt so much. I miss you so much. I don't know if I can ever forget you or if I can ever love anyone again, all I want is you, all I can see is you, hoping and wanting but I know that is never going to happen. Unless you'll become a zombie" I say giggling at my own joke.

"I would give anything just to have you back again. You know Christian is helping me with everything, you're right he really is a great guy. He is the one who's helping me the most right now" I sigh wiping my tears away from my eyes, tracing my fingertips in his grave name, my thoughts went back to the last time we were together. We were so happy having dinner, laughing at our silly jokes, planning for our future. How I wish I could go back to that night.

"Brian I got a job offer, in Africa. I'm thinking about taking it. Maybe I need this, you know? I know you will be there looking down on me This is not a goodbye, I'm not ready to say goodbye to you, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to say that, maybe someday but not now" I say gazing at the engagement ring on my ring finger.

I leave the cemetery feeling a little lighter, now I'm going to pay a visit to Christian in his office.

*C POV*

"Mr. Grey" I'm startled by Andrea's voice.

"What!?" I bark, pissed off. Ana hasn't texted me since early this morning. She said she had something she needed to do and I haven't heard from her since. Now I'm really worried.

"Sir, there's a miss Anastasia Steele here requesting to see you" I sit straight up, shocked. to

"Send her in" I say fixing my self. I feel like a teenager about to see his crush.

"Right away, sir" Andrea says. After a minute Ana walks into my office looking good, and beautiful as always.

I stand up and walk around my desk to greet her.

"Hi Christian. I'm sorry to disturb you, I brought some lunch" Ana says lifting the paper bag in her hands.

"It's ok, and thank you for the lunch" I take the paper bag and motion for her to take a seat, while I take the food out from the paper bag.

"So what brings you here?" I ask taking seat beside her while I place the food in front of us.

"I went to his burial site" Ana says softly. I stop with my fork mid way between my plate and my mouth.

All I can say in reply is "Oh"

"I went to talk to him, I couldn't say goodbye to him. I just let out my grief" she's trying to stop her tears.

"And how are your feeling?" I ask.

"I feel lighter in a way, but it's still hard to see that gravestone with his name on it, it hurts so much" Ana tells me.

"sooner or later you have to see that, and move on. We are all grieving for Brian" I say. Even now I still can't believe he's gone.

"I know. Part of me was happy to go there" Ana says picking up her fork and beginning to eat.

"we are all here for you Ana, you know that right?" I ask and continue to eat as well.

"I know, and I'm so grateful for that. Thank you for everything you've done for me lately " Ana says smiling at me. A true smile not a forced one. And my heart swells at the sight. I just want to grab her and kiss her, but I can't do it. After we finish our lunch, I pack up the plastic container.

"Christian" Ana calls my name nervously and I don't like it, I know the next thing she's going to say.

"Yes?" I answer wiping my hands.

"I'm leaving" and just like that, my world stops.

"Wh-what?" turning to face her, I try to hide the hurt in my voice.

"I … I have an offer to go to Africa for work, and I've accepted it" Ana says fidgeting.

"so... Africa huh? When do you leave?" I ask leaning against my desk.

"Tomorrow evening" I close my eyes. 'fucking hell, what am I supposed to do about that'

"Well … good luck" I say a bit harsh, turning away from her.

"Christian, what's wrong?" Ana starts to walk over to me.

"Nothing" I say turning back around to face Ana.

"I was just shocked to hear the news, but I know that this is important to you" I say smiling at her, hiding the fact that deep down all I want to do is stop her from leaving me.

"Thank you, and Kate is planning a celebratory and goodbye dinner tonight. I really hope you can come" Ana asks, hope in her eyes, who am I to say no to this girl?

"Of course I'll be there" I say hugging her.

"Ok then, I have to go now. I'm taking too much of your time" Ana says. I don't want her to go.

"I'll walk you out" I say placing my hand on her lower back.

I see Andrea and Olivia's shocked faces, but they quickly look away. We're standing by the elevator.

"I'll see you later Christian " Ana says waving at me as she gest into the elevator.

"Bye Ana" and the elevator doors close. I sigh and head back to my office.

She's leaving to Africa and I have no idea how long she's going to be there.