"I'M NOT ASKING TOO MUCH, JUST WRITE MY FATHER'S EULOGY!"

Jess walked into Nick's childhood home's office and shut the double doors, locking them before turning back towards Nick. She knew things were about to get heated and knowing how loud her and Nick could be when they really got into, she thought it best to possibly avoid waking up Nick's entire family. Nick's mother already disliked her and she didn't want to give her any reasons to dislike her even more. She slowly approached the big wooden desk that Nick was still seated at, she could see the storm brewing in his deep brown eyes.

"Nick… I'm sorry, but I can't do that. You haven't had any time to yourself to grieve and I really think this would help the process. I know this isn't easy for you and I want you to know that I am here for you and I will do whatever I can to help you, but… That is one thing I can't do…"

Nick stood up quickly, the chair he was sitting on rolled back into the wall with a loud thud. "STOP IT JESS! I don't need to grieve, I'm fine! My father was never around anyway, this changes nothing!" Jess just looked at him with sad eyes, she could see the pain hidden deep down but more than anything, she could see the anger. The anger of his father never being around and the anger that he never would be again.

Jess knew that Nick harbored a lot of resentment towards his father and although he was good at hiding his sadness, he was not so good at hiding the rage that had built up inside him over the years. The rage of having to grow up way too quickly to care for his mother and Jamie when his father would leave for months at a time, the rage of watching his mother cry every time the phone rang, hoping for Walt, but instead getting one of his partners in crime to call just to let her know that he was fine.

"Nick, he was still your father and I know you loved him…"

"Jess, seriously… STOP! I don't need you telling me how I should feel. You have no idea what I put up with from that man. He's the reason I'm the broken, barely functioning man-child that I am. He ruined me, Jess."

Jess felt her heart ache for the man in front of her. If only he could see himself the way I see him. "Nick, You're not broken! You're my best friend and yeah, maybe you do have some anger issues, but you're amazing, Nick! You're always there for me when I need you and you always know how to make feel better. You're the reason that I had the courage to go back in for that second interview for my adult teaching job."

"Jess…"

Jess walked around the desk to stand in front of him, she took both of his hands in hers and looked deeply into his dark eyes, trying to convey all the feelings she had for him. "No, Nick… Listen to me. When I first moved into the loft, I was broken, Nick. Spencer cheated on me after we were together for SIX years! I felt worse than I ever had in my life. I've never been great with men, I've always been a nerd and never fit in and with Spencer... I thought I had finally found my person, yah know? But then I caught him with Rochelle and it destroyed me. I never thought I'd get my confidence back, I never thought I'd be happy again but I did and I am! You know why, Nick? Because of YOU! You are the reason that I'm happy again, You are the reason I'm not broken anymore, Nick."

Nick knew Jess's kind words were meant to make him feel better, but he just saw red. Why couldn't she just do this ONE thing for him? He dropped her hands and grabbed her shoulders roughly, shaking her a little. That's when the yelling really started.

"See, Jess! This is what I meant when I said you don't know how to be real! You think a few kind words will just magically make everything better, but that's not how this works! Life sucks and people die, that's just the way it is!"

Jess slapped Nick's hands away from her shoulders and stepped closer to him, he could see the fire in her eyes.

"Fine, Nick! You want me to be real, let's be real! You're a coward, Nick Miller! You couldn't express any feelings to save your life! You're so angry all the time, but instead of taking that anger and oh, I don't know? Maybe turning it into something positive, actually trying to do something for once in your life, you just bottle it up until it boils over and then you take it out on the people you care about!" He watched as her face went into what she describes as his "Turtle Face". "Oh, I'm Nick Miller. Woe is me, Life is so hard, everyone feel bad for me because I'm so broken and useless!"

Jess hadn't realized how close they had gotten until she stopped yelling, she could feel his heavy breathing running across her face. She knew she had hit a nerve, but if he wanted her to be real, then real she would be. "I mean for christ's sake, Nick! You can't even tell me how you feel about ME! Instead you just… Kiss me. You kiss me like we're in a goddamned fairytale... We almost had sex on our dining room table and STILL! You still can't tell me how you feel!"

What Nick did next, was a mystery to even him. He grabbed the top of Jess's pajama top and tore it open, watching as button's flew every which way. He took in the sight of her giant shocked eyes before lifting her up and setting her down roughly on the desk, he heard her gasp and couldn't control the wicked smile that spread across his face. If she wanted him to do something positive with his built up anger, that's exactly what he would do.

"Nick, what…"

He shut her up by crashing his mouth against hers, kissing her hard. He pushed her now ruined pajama top off her shoulders before reaching up and cupping her perfect breasts in his hands, she whimpered into his mouth as he pinched her nipples making him hard instantly. His kisses started to move along her jaw and when he reached the sensitive skin of her neck, he sucked in the flesh not caring about the mark that he was going to leave behind.

Jess knew this was the last thing they should be doing, especially in Nick's childhood home, but god… This is what she has been craving for weeks. The feel of his soft lips sucking on her neck and his rough fingertips pinching and rolling her nipples is pure ecstasy. Every time they had ever gotten into a major argument, she had always secretly hoped that he would snap and just…Take her. If it were any other man, she would feel uncomfortable with how rough he was being, but this was Nick and it was even better than her fantasies.

Jess roughly pushed him away and hopped off the desk, she slid her thumbs underneath the waistband of her pajama pants and panties and pushed them to the floor, watching as Nick's dark and stormy eyes widened, taking in her naked figure. She reached for the bottom of his henley and pulled it over his head. As she threw it across the room she knocked over a lamp, but she would worry about that after she got what she wanted. Next she pushed his sweatpants to floor, not surprised by the fact that he wasn't wearing any underwear. His big, hard cock now free from it's restraints. Her mouth watered as she took him in. God, it's big, like really big.

Jess took hold of him and gave him a few good strokes, the groan that rose from his chest made her feel weak in the knees. She let go of his cock and reached for his head, pulling him down to her, not waiting for any permission before sliding her tongue into his mouth. She broke the kiss with a pop before spinning around and bending over the desk in front of her, she looked at him over her shoulder and bit down on her lip.

"Fuck me, Nick."

Nick was shocked at how forceful Jess was being. He always pictured their first time would be sweet and tender, all soft sighs and gentle kisses, but the bubble of anger he could still feel in his chest told him otherwise. He pressed his erection against the soft skin of her ass and grabbed roughly as her hair, pulling her up against his chest. He sucked in the skin of her neck, making her cry out to him.

"You want me to fuck you, Jessica?" He whispered hotly in her ear, watching her perfect lips part with a loud moan pouring from between.

"God, Yes! Please, Nick. FUCK ME!"

He wasn't going to give her what she wanted just yet. He slapped her ass, hard. "You're a naughty girl, aren't you, Jess? You act all sweet and innocent, but I know better… I know what you really want." He slapped her ass again. "Fuck, Nick! Yes, fuck me like the naughty girl I am! I want your big cock inside my wet little pussy!" He ground himself against her and slapped her ass once more, he sucked her earlobe into his mouth and bit down. "Tell me how much you want my dick, Jessica."

"I want it so much, Nick! It's all I've been able to think about since…UH!" He pinched her nipple between his fingers, he pinched a little harder as he once again slapped her creamy ass, so fucking turned on by the fact that he could distract her so easily. He was going to leave a hand print on her ass, but by the noises he was drawing out of her, he could tell she liked it. "Since I felt it pressed up against me on guys night, god Nick… It's so big! Please, I want it so bad!"

Nick pushed her so she was once again bent over the desk. He fisted himself in his left hand, running his now throbbing cock along her soaking wet folds before ramming his big cock inside of her. "NICK! OH GOD, NICK!" Jess screamed as he took her from behind, pounding into her relentlessly. His grip on her hips was so tight he was sure he was going to bruise her pale skin, but he was going out of his mind with how amazing she felt wrapped around him.

"God, Jess! You're so fucking tight!" He said as he slapped her ass, once then twice more.

Jess couldn't even think, no one had ever taken her so roughly and she was loving every minute of it. She was sure to have hickeys and bruises and hand prints on her fair skin, but she didn't care, she wanted them. Nick was pounding into her with his entire body and it was amazing. "Slap my ass again, Nick! I'm a bad girl and I need to be punished!"

"Fuck, Jess!"

He cried out before doing exactly as she asked. She felt the hand that had just slapped her behind move around to roughly rub at her clit as the other made it's way up to play with her breasts. Jess leaned back against his chest and pulled his mouth down to hers, the sudden urge to kiss him and see his face overwhelming her.

She kissed him deeply before pulling away, she locked eyes with him and suddenly everything slowed down. He pulled out of her and turned her body around to face him before lifting her and setting her gently on the desktop once more. He gently kissed her swollen lips before sliding back into her, this time moving with long slow strokes. He hugged her body to his tightly and buried his face in her neck, softly kissing the red spots he had caused. Jess suddenly felt tears prick her eyes with the tenderness of his touch and kisses.

As Nick looked down and saw Jess's sparkling blue eyes looking up at him, her perfect swollen red lips slightly parted as he brutally fucked her from behind, he felt a sudden tightness in his chest. This was Jess, Jessica Day, the sweetest, most caring person he had ever met, she didn't deserve to be the punching bag for all of his anger, never mind if she liked it, this is not what she deserves.

He slowed down his movements and turned her towards him, gently lifting her onto the desk. He kissed her with all the tenderness this amazing woman deserves before gently sliding himself back into her tight heat. He buried his head in her neck as he moved inside of her with slow, gentle strokes, making her whimper as she felt every single inch of him. He could feel her walls starting to tighten and flutter around his cock, so he pulled back so he could watch her face her orgasm consumed her. He slid his hand between her legs and gently rubbed her clit. Her lips parted and her skin flushed as her entire body trembled in his arms.

"Oh, Niiiick! UHH!"

"You're beautiful, Jessica."

He whispered before crashing his lips against hers and sped up his movements, feeling his release building, ready to explode. As he released inside of her, his heart suddenly felt heavy in his chest. His dad was dead. His dad was dead and he had just fucked the hell out of Jess, there was no other way of putting it. He left her body bruised and battered, all because he couldn't control his anger.

He went to pull away from Jess as he felt the sob rising up his chest, failing miserably to cover it as it escaped his lips, but she pulled his head down to her bare chest and held him tightly against her, kissing his forehead and running her tiny fingers through his har.

"It's ok, baby. I'm here, just let go… I'm not going anywhere."

Hearing her soft words, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her onto his lap as he collapsed onto the chair behind him. He kept his face buried in her chest as he finally let go of all the pain and sadness he was feeling. If it was any other woman, he would feel embarrassed, like less of a man, but this was Jess, his Jess, the only person who knew him better than he knew himself. The only person worth letting go for.

"He's gone, Jess… He's really gone."

Jess felt Nick's tears wetting her bare skin and it broke her heart, she knew this was exactly what he needed, but seeing this man that she cared for so deeply in so much pain still wasn't easy. She continued to run her fingers through his soft hair until the sobs subsided. He lifted his head from her chest, eyes red and swollen, she wiped the remaining tears from his face. She gave him a soft smile and felt her heart flutter in her chest as he returned it.

"I am so sorry, Jess. I didn't mean to hurt you, I shouldn't have treated you like that… I mean I really could've hurt you, did I hurt you?"

Jess chuckled softly and gently kissed his soft lips. "No, you didn't hurt me Nick. I told you to turn your anger into something positive and THAT was definitely positive. My god, Nick, you just… TOOK ME! It was amazing!" She winked at him and he shook his head, letting out a breathy laugh.

"Look, Jess… I just want to thank you for being here for me, you have no idea how much it means to me. You're my best friend too, but… Jess, there's… something… Ok, I'm just gonna say it." Nick looked deeply into those big blue eyes, taking his hands up to her face, cupping her soft, rosy cheeks.

"Jessica Day, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since the moment you walked into the loft for the very first time. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire life and you're also the sweetest and most caring. You mean so much to me and I can't lose you, that's why I was so scared to tell you how I feel. But I'm not scared anymore, Jess. I love you and I want you to know."

The smile that spread across Jess's face could've lit up the deepest, darkest depths of the ocean. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, as she broke the kiss, she laid her forehead against his.

"I love you too, Nicholas." She whispered against his lips before kissing him sweetly. "Nick, I don't mean to ruin the moment, but we should probably get you to bed, you've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow."

Nick smiled up at her and leaned in to kiss her once more before she stood up to start gathering their clothes. Jess walked over to where she had Nick's shirt and was relieved to see that she hadn't actually broken the lamp that she knocked over earlier. She walked back over to where he was standing and handed it to him, watching as he pulled it over his head. She picked up her almost useless pajama top from where it was resting on the desk and wrapped it around her body, luckily it was loose enough that she could wrap it around herself just enough that she wouldn't expose anyone if she happened to run into someone on her way back to the guestroom she was sleeping in.

She watched as Nick finished pulling up his and picked up her pajama pants and panties, quickly pulling them up. They locked eyes and smiled at each other lovingly, before Nick lifted Jess into arms, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.

"Are you going to carry me back to my bed, Nicholas? That's so sweet!" Jess squealed as she kissed his stubbly cheek, Nick just smiled and shook his head. "No, Jessica… I'm carrying you to MY bed." Jess looked terrified. "But Nick, Your mom… She hates me and if she caught us together…" Nick was already walking through the double doors of the office headed towards his childhood bedroom. "Jess, she doesn't hate you, she's just weird around new people, but once she gets to know you she's gonna love you. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you're the woman that I love and once she gets to know you, she'll see exactly why."

Nick laid Jess down on his childhood bed before crawling in next to her and pulling her body into his. He buried his face in her neck and nipped at her neck, making her giggle. Nick pulled back and kissed her on the lips before pulling her up so her head was resting on his chest. He pressed his lips against her forehead as he felt his eyelids drooping heavily.

"I love you, Jess."

"I love you too, Nick."

Nick woke Jess up once during the night by sliding her pants off and crawling between her legs, his dream of tasting her finally coming true. After she came on his tongue, he slowly kissed his way up her perfect body and made slow passionate love to her for what felt like hours, falling asleep once more in each others arms after. The next morning Jess helped Nick write his Father's Eulogy and held his hand through the entire funeral. Neither of them noticed the adoring looks of Nick's mother sitting behind them.

**Enjoy! And for the love of god, people need to update their stories ASAP! As fun as it is to write them, I also like to read them! And as always, Thank you for all the reviews and thank you all so much for reading! You guys rock!**