Chapter 7
Alice was woken by a bright shaft sunlight hitting her face. Groaning, she raised an arm to protect her eyes from the assault. For a moment she was confused, not at all certain how she had come to be tucked up in this wonderfully comfortable bed. Her last memory was of talking to Polly in the kitchen.
'I'm glad to see you awake, finally', said Polly with a slight quirk of her lips. 'You've been dead to the world for nearly two days.' She was stood by the window and it was plainly her who had pulled back the curtains in order to rouse Alice.
'Is Tommy OK?' Alice asked concerned. 'I can't believe I left him alone for two whole days!' She wriggled up right, noticing as she did that someone had kindly replaced her soiled and crumpled clothes with a more comfortable night gown. She truly must have been out of if she hadn't woken when they stripped her.
Polly laughed. 'You're not the only person in the house Alice. We've managed well enough the last few days - and anyway you were exhausted.' Then she paused, giving Alice a gentle, compassionate look. 'He's been asking after you, pet. It's only Arthur who's had the strength to keep him in his bed now he's nearly well. Why don't you go and see him. Get things sorted out.'
Alice was unsure. Caring for Tommy when he was sick was one thing. She was trained for it, well able to supress any personal feelings and concentrate solely on the needs of the patient, but this was different. She was not sure that she could hide her pain or, worse still, her disgust at his behaviour.
'I'm not sure I can', she said with a gentle shake of her head. 'I don't think I can bear to look at him after what he done.'
Polly's look of compassion was replaced with one of irritation. 'Don't be such a fool, Alice. The first thing you ask about when you wake is him. The first thing he asks about when he wakes is you. Whatever's passed between you there's clearly still love there.' She began to pace restlessly. 'If you'd not been so bloody determined to go your own way when the two of you first met then all of this shit might have been avoided. I supported your decision to stay in the background all those years ago because I thought you knew what you were doing… and, yes, I'll admit that at the start it was attractive to think that Tommy could have you and still make an advantageous marriage.' She sparked up a cigarette, drawing on it deeply. 'But it was clear even then that he needed you and that what he had with you was his best chance of being made whole again. I thought that you could see that too but instead of fighting for him you just ran away when things got a little bit difficult'
Stung Alice retorted. 'He left me. He turned his back on me. I've done nothing wrong!'
'You've done nothing at all!' hissed Polly 'And that's the problem. Tommy doesn't feel that he deserves love so he constantly pushes it away; he needed you to keep trying, to keep telling him he was worthy, to keep showing him that you valued him! Yes he's made a god awful cock up of things but he's a Shelby man – what do you expect? They are what their father made them. Their response to strong emotions is to punch something – or to try to drown the feeling in booze, or drugs, or sex. If you have an ounce of feeling left for him – and I know you bloody well do – then you'll go in to him right now and show him that you still think he's worth something.'
Angry beyond words at the outrageous injustice of it, Alice could only watch as Polly stalked from the room. Her fury kept her locked in her room for 50 long minutes but as it faded she realised that she could not avoid a final meeting with Tommy – however it turned out. Heart-sick she pulled on a dressing gown and slipped her feet into some Turkish slippers; then she went to face Tommy.