I'm back again! This story is much sadder than the previous ones and has some trigger warnings.
Beta read and co-written by missingSkywalker or Ebony as I call them.
Disclaimer: I do not own Boku no Hero Academia
Trigger Warnings:
Implied Suicide
Suicidal Thoughts
Suicide
o.0.o
Immotile (adj)
Unable to move; not motile.
o.0.o
Izuku was immotile. Not in the literal sense. (Only in the way that mattered.) He was, in fact, quite motile to anyone looking with a passing glance. He was always animated, a large (So large, it was fake.) smile upon his face, and always full of movement. (Too much movement). Whether it was him mumbling or fighting with One for All coursing through his body. (Too afraid to speak up. Afraid that no one would listen).
But that was just in the his external energy. (His facade of a bright star and when he went out, he would be a supernova). Internally, however, is a different story. (In a completely different genre.) He feels as if he is stuck in concrete, unable to move forward. Just watching as everything moves past him in a blur of motion and colors. (His darkest memories return to him in flashes).
(When he didn't get his quirk like everyone else did. When he was pushed to the side like trash. What was WRONG?)
He was forced to watch, forced to pretend. (Pretend he wasn't rotting from the inside of self-loathing). He kept those carefree, happy smiles upon his face to prevent them from worrying.
(He is fine. I am fine. Do not WORRY.)
Which was good. (Not good. After all, he was wrong, horrible, terrible-) He can keep this act up. (Can he? He feels as if he was suffocating). No one knows, and that is how he wants to keep it. (Does he? Sometimes, he wants to scream, to yell, to fight, but he just gave up). It would just bring forth questions that he can't answer. (He wanted to do something. Anything. But he couldn't). That he won't answer.
(Have you been getting sleep? Are you eating? Yes, I'm fiNE.)(No, his mind whisper back. You're not. He wants to scream. Insanity).
He's not worth their worry. He would fade if he could.(Death would wrap around him like a blanket). Remove himself from their memories.(Disappear. He wanted to disappear). But there isn't a quirk that he knows that could do that. One that can make someone like him disappear. (The stars shine brighter. Perfect). Then, he can watch the timeline rush by without interruption. (Time slips through his fingers. It's never enough). Without interrupting the people around him. (After all, they walk past him without noticing. A ghost). Then no one would not longer worry. (He almost wanted them to worry. Almost. Attention seeker, they whispered. I'm not. The tears pricked his eyes. He wasn't a baby or an attention seeker, so he wouldn't cry. Wouldn't matter anyways).
His breath clouded in front of his face, the cold nipping his cheeks. (Cold would embrace him, bringing death so much closer. He loved the cold). He didn't know how long he was standing there. How long had he been staring off into space? (Space, like the void in his chest, seemed vast and expansive. It was all-consuming. Would it consume him? He didn't care anymore).
(You've been distracted lately. Are you feeling okay? Yes! Yes. I. AM. FINE.)
Why won't people stop asking him if he's okay? He's fine. (Not fine. Too afraid to speak up. Too much movement. Too much noise. Too much silence). He doesn't need their time. (Time was a mess. An hour felt like five years ago and so did a month, a year, a day, a minute). They can use their time for better things. For better people. (He was a monster. He stared into the mirror. He whispers the word. Monster).
He looked over the edge, the ground so far away. (It was right distance. No chance that he would survive the fall. No chance to hear voices yelling at him for being selfish, weak, a baby). It would be so easy to let go. (Immotile. Only in the way that mattered). Just to fall and fade. (He was a ghost anyways. He imagined death, the coldness, light fading form his eyes, and his heart finally stopped beating. He craved death).
The back door slammed open, three people rushing out. (Not them. He could feel his resolve slipping. Death was so much farther away. Come back, he wanted to scream). He must have taken too long. Uraraka, Iida, and Todoroki had arrived, puffs of frosted breath escaping their lips. (He almost regretted his decision. Time was slipping away again). His gaze turned to the side, not meeting their eyes. (Not this time). The small part of him rejoiced at the fact that they had arrived, but he squashed it. (Hope was a cruel thing, letting you believe. You smile, eyes finally twinking, but it twists your gut and crushed your dreams. The light leaves your eyes again). This was his only choice. His only option. (Was it? Whispered his traitorous mind. YES. IT. WAS. Doesn't have to be. SHUT. UP. The voice was silent).
"Deku," Uraraka called out. Her mouth was moving but Izuku couldn't hear anything past Deku. (He didn't hear her pleading with him or see the unshed tears shining in her eyes. Didn't hear her words of comfort and friendship). Despite her best intention, he flinched and closed his eyes. (This love had to be fake. Had to be. He didn't deserve it. He almost wanted to stay. But he, the caged bird, must spread his wings and fly. Finally free).
(What are you doing? You're just a quirkless, useless, person, Deku.
Hey, why don't you take a swan dive off the roof?)
Izuku shook his head and mouth the words: I´m sorry. (Don't do it, she whispers).
And he let go.
(He wasn't sorry).
o.0.o
I don't know how I like the formatting of the story, so I may not write in the format again.
Tune in sometime next week for the next story.
-Fade from the Light