Chapter Three:
Michonne couldn't be sure whether the scene in front of her was actually happening. Despite everything she had heard leading up to that moment; she still couldn't believe things had gotten that bad. She was wrong.
The man she thought so highly of had fallen. She didn't even recognise Rick anymore, and that scared her. The Rick she knew would never allow someone to have him backed into a corner in such away, he would fight dirty before he allowed that to happen, but that wouldn't be the case anymore.
Negan was looming over him with a horrid smile on his face. The kind of smile you expect to see on the most demented. He was getting pure enjoyment out of watching his opponent crumble under his rule. Michonne wanted to be the reason he no longer smiled.
"You know what?", Negan began sinisterly, "How about I'll go get her myself?"
"I'll get her", The words flew from Michonne's mouth so quickly that she almost questioned if she had said it. She stood tall, not usually one to act without a plan but it was too late to back down. She'd caught his eye.
Rick looked at her dumbfounded, his eyebrows rising to his forehead, "Wha-"
"I like her.", Negan snickered, nudging Rick on his arm, "No B.S. Just right to the point."
Michonne ignored him as she looked at Rick, hoping he hadn't forgotten all that they were capable of communicating to each other through eye contact, "You said so yourself, we can't lose any more people. We have to do this"
"Mich-", Rick looked as if he were going to choke on his words, "No-"
"We have to.", She looked at him hard, hoping he would understand that she was trying to offer a way out of this, but he seemed to really believe that she was volunteering to fetch his wife. She clenched her fists out of frustration as she turned on the balls of her feet and began marching away.
"Michonne! No!", Rick barked after her.
"Hey! You're not going anywhere!", Negan barked back, leading Michonne to believe that he had stopped him from following her, which worked in her favour.
Her mind raced as she made her way across the safe-zone, noticing that Saviors were going in and out of homes when it dawned on her that she would have to get to the Grimes household before anyone else did, so she picked up the pace, nearly sprinting to the grey home. A group of men had entered the house next door, and when she was sure that they weren't focussed on her, she ran across the street and up the porch steps.
She burst through the door and immediately noticed Lori stood by one of the window peering out from behind the drapes timidly. Michonne shut the door behind her and hissed, "Get down!"
Lori jumped away from the window in a fright, "What? What's going on?"
"Come on!", Michonne ordered as she powered through the home, "Negan want's you- he said I could come and get you but I need you to hide- where can you hide?"
Lori appeared to be in shock, her eyes darting one way or the other, "What? He- what?"
"Hey! Focus! Where can you hide?", Michonne snapped, "Hurry!"
"Uh-Uh, upstairs! The attic- it has a secret door, we only found it recently-"
"Come on!", Michonne pointed to the steps and ushered Lori towards them, "Where's Carl? Judith?"
"They're up here already"
She was correct, as Carl was stood at one of the bedroom doors when they reached the second floor. Even at such a sensitive time, Michonne still found herself astonished to see the teen, and even more astonished to see him sporting an eye patch. A wave of questions began to flood her mind but she ignored them as she looked for the hidden door that Lori spoke of, "Where?"
"There- we need a chair or something to reach it", Lori seemed to hover on the spot, her eyes darting everywhere like pinballs.
"No time", Michonne placed one hand flat on the wall and foot on the stair railing, and jumped with a burst, using the foot on the railing to give her some leverage, and securing the other foot against the wall. She reached up and grabbed the circular handle, pulling it down with her as she jumped and a ladder rolled free once the door was open, "Go on- get up there"
"The kids! I have to take them!", Lori hissed, holding onto the ladder to keep it down.
"No! I'm telling Negan that you left or something, Carl will back me up", Michonne insisted, looking back at the teen by the door, "So go!"
"I don't want Carl near him", Lori warned, her eyes wide with panic.
Michonne was losing patience, "Lori- Do this or you go with Negan. The choice is yours."
It seemed that Lori wasn't given a choice, as they heard the front door burst open on the ground floor. Michonne shoved the other woman onto the ladder, and waited until she was half way up to let go, so the door rolled upwards on its own and closed with a soft thud. Michonne would have breathed a sigh of relief but she could hear the Savioirs spilling into the home, so she whispered to Carl, "Where's Judith?"
Carl looked towards the bedroom opposite him and answered in a deeper voice than she remembered, "In there"
"Get her."
They ransacked homes, but came out with nothing. They were just causing mindless destruction. She left the Grimes household with Carl and Judith, certain that they wouldn't find Lori once they finished tearing apart the upper floor of the house. There was no point in what they were doing, but the men and women laughed and smiled among each other as if it were just an average day for them. Michonne carried Judith away, surprised to see how much the little girl had grown. She discreetly inhaled her clean scent, wishing that it wouldn't be under these circumstances that they were reunited.
"I can't believe you're back…", Carl finally uttered beside her. He had been wearing a shocked and slightly disgusted look on his face since he saw her, his eye combining her over time and time again, "Are you with them now?"
"No", Michonne replied a little sternly, using Judith to block her mouth so she could speak freely, "I got back yesterday, I've just had stuff to do before I saw you"
"Does my dad know?"
"I saw him before they got here", She explained, wishing he would wait to have this discussion with her, "You tell them she left hours ago, said she was going to the pantry or something. We have to make it seem like she just disappeared and left you guys"
"Like you did?"
Michonne almost groaned. She should have known that she'd find herself at the receiving end of his anger, but once again, she still hoped he would have waited to lash her with his words, "Yes, Carl. Like what I did."
His lip curled in disgust as he looked away from her, "Got it."
Negan was still at the front gate tormenting Rick where she'd left them. He'd made the fallen leader hold his barbed wire bat, which she assumed was the instrument used to murder his victims. Rick's expression changed from pained to bewildered when he saw his children, his gaze bouncing from one face to another while Negan seemed to be even more intrigued, "Oh look- It's two of my favourite people!"
"Bite me.", Carl spat venomously as he stopped a few feet away from the man, leaving everyone around them somewhat shocked.
Negan only laughed heartily as he slapped his hand on Rick's shoulder, "Oh man, that kid of yours is the best thing you've ever done. You really fucked up with him and it's just comedy gold"
"What's going on?", Rick questioned, not responding to Negan's jeers.
"She's not there", Michonne replied, adjusting her hold on Judith, "She told them she was going to the pantry but she didn't come back"
Rick frowned at her, "What?"
"She left.", Carl ejected flatly, "She said she was coming back but she didn't even go to the pantry"
Negan made an unimpressed sigh, "Well, you better go look for her then."
"Uh, wait…", Michonne was almost horrified to hear Mickey say something, but he did, leading everyone to look up at him curiously, "Uh did she have like…long dark hair? Skinny?"
Michonne slowly nodded as she tried to figure out where he was going with his question, "Yes?"
Mickey cringed, "Uh… I let her out a few hours ago… She said she was just going to get some supplies… I thought it was okay? I don't know- I'm new here"
Michonne could have hugged the teen. She turned back to Rick, who finally seemed to have caught on to the tale that they were writing before his very eyes. He faked shock, "What? Wh-which way did she go?"
"Just straight up that road but I lost sight of her after a while", Mickey lied perfectly, his eyes wide as he too faked shock, "I'm sorry… I didn't know"
Negan sucked air between his teeth as he rolled his eyes, "Wow. This is awkward… You're pretty much a single dad, now. That's not sexy at all, especially with that freak show of a boy you got."
Rage began to boil in Michonne's stomach as she leered at the man angrily, and she could see that Rick was battling with them same; his jaw clenched, eyes cold and focused.
"How about I cheer you up, huh?", Negan teased, "I'll kill that little twerp for letting that skirt of yours run off"
"You won't", Michonne shot back, handing Judith back to her brother.
Negan spun around and looked at her with a highly amused grin, "Oh… You are fun."
Michonne wasn't so unaware of her surroundings. She knew they were outnumbered, and she knew that she risked getting herself killed, but she was inclined to protect Mickey at all costs, so stood her ground.
"You know…", Negan took his bat from Rick before resting an arm on his shoulder, "Nothing turns me on more than a woman with a pair of beach ball sized lady nuts"
Michonne continued to stare at the man with fire in her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"The dark, strong, silent type", Negan tilted his head to the side as his gaze crawled up to her face, "My, my. There's a lot of things I'd like to do to you, and killing you is at the absolute fucking bottom of that list. Still on it, though."
It turned out that Rick wasn't completely numb to what was happening around him, as he pulled out from underneath Negan, causing the man to stumble away from him, and before he could antagonise him any further, Rick swung his fist through the air and delivered an earth shattering blow to Negan's jaw.
Everyone around them sprang into action, with two men piling on top of Rick before he could say or do anything else. Negan regained himself, smiling from ear to ear as he straightened up, "Now that's the fire I wanna' see! Come on! I get it! Your wife left you with a one eyed boy and a weird baby that doesn't talk- Just let it all out!"
Negan handed his bat to a woman nearby and gleefully approached Rick, throwing an equally powerful blow in his stomach, "You see? It feels so good when you just let that anger out when it hits!"
He punched him a second time, an uppercut to the ribs, causing Rick to almost double over in pain.
"I'm being nice right now, Rick, you know that right?", Negan punched him again, "Because I don't need these guys to hold you- I could break you like goddamn twig!"
Michonne placed herself in front of Carl and Judith, hoping they wouldn't have to see as a flurry of punches rained down on their father. It pained her so much to see that she couldn't stand to see herself.
"This was good day", Negan sighed delightedly as the two men dropped Rick to the ground, "You got me a whole truck's worth of food, you introduced me to your hot new secretary, and you got to keep your wife. Well… whatever's left of her. Good luck with that search party."
Rick lay face down on the floor, curling up his legs as he tried to stand. Michonne waited until Negan moved to go over to him.
"Alright, see you next week folks!", Negan waved, signalling for his people to follow him out of the gates, "Really good day!"
"Just wait, don't move", Michonne instructed, holding onto Rick's bicep, "Just hold on"
He spat blood onto the gravel as he pushed himself up, "I'm… I'm fine"
"You're not", Michonne continued to hold on to him as she looked up at the watch tower, "Mickey!"
The teen hurried down to join her while Carl stood nearby, still watching the others leave while holding his sister. There was no point in Michonne scolding Rick for punching Negan. Even after having the air forcibly removed from his lungs, Rick wouldn't regret it. For some reason he felt the need to defend her honour, and that wasn't anything new to either of them.
Mickey helped her lead him to the infirmary, each holding an arm over their shoulder, even though it caused Rick to wince. The first thing he asked when he was laid on a stretcher was, "Lori?"
"Attic.", Michonne replied, standing back as Rosita began to look him over, "She's still up there"
Rick slowly nodded as he took deep, jagged breaths. Rosita opened up his shirt and exhaled deeply, "This is tough… I don't know if he has a broken rib or anything… He just has to lay here- we can't move him."
"Good", Michonne breathed, "You hear that, old man? You can't move"
Rick smirked, but quickly grabbed his side in pain, "Ahh, shit"
"How about we don't make him laugh either", Rosita gave Michonne a pointed look as she backed away from the stretcher, "I'll give you something for the pain"
"...You probably shouldn't talk then", Mikey whispered from behind, causing Michonne to smile.
She looked to Carl across the room, "We should probably go get your mom"
The teen still wore a faint look of revulsion as he looked at her, "You can get her if you want"
Michonne's eyes widened, astounded that he seemed to be repulsed by everyone around him, bar Judith. She exhaled as she walked around the stretcher and towards the door, "Come on, let's go"
His attitude truly did hurt her. It wasn't though she wasn't familiar with a defiant Carl as she had seen it before, but it was never so evident in all her said and did, and it was only made worse by the fact that he was sporting a black eye patch. As soon as they were out of the infirmary and onto the street she questioned him about it, "What happened there?"
Carl moved Judith from one hip to the other, "What does it look like?"
Michonne stared at him, "It looks to me like you want to have another eye patch?"
For the first time since she'd seen him Carl cracked a small smile, even if it did only last for a few seconds, "...Some kid shot me."
Michonne's mouth fell agape, "What?"
"He was aiming for dad, got me instead", Carl shrugged as if it were nothing as he looked up the street, "Then he got eaten by walkers."
The story left Michonne with more questions than answers, and she realised she may get a more detailed response from his father so she decided to leave it alone for the time being, "When was this?"
"I don't know… a while after you left, I guess.", He spoke of her departure so sourly that she wondered if it mattered that she'd returned.
She folded her arms as she looked at him, "Why didn't your mom want you around Negan?"
Carl grunted, "Because she's scared I might do what dad can't"
"And what might that be?"
"Kill him."
Michonne eyed him suspiciously, "Why would that scare her?"
Carl rearranged his hold on Judith as they reached the porch steps, "I nearly did it before. Followed them when they left here… Killed a few of them and nearly got him, too…"
Michonne stared at the teen incredulously, "What was that, some kind of lone suicide mission?"
"It was me trying to do something", Carl argued, "I'm not sure if you know this but nobody is doing anything. He killed Glenn, Abraham, Denise, Olivia, Spencer and he just goes around taking what he wants from all of us. Everyone's too scared to do anything about it- today was the first time my dad did anything"
"Yeah, and look where that got him", Michonne countered calmly, "You're smart enough to know that your dad isn't doing anything because he doesn't want to get anyone else killed. He cares about everyone too much-"
"He's scared."
"Yeah, he's scared of losing people and that's not something to be ashamed of", She pointed out firmly, "You can't always react first then think later when you're up against someone who can really do some damage. You have to think about the people that are willing to follow you and your fathers doing that. You want a leader like that. You don't want a leader like some of the other people we've come across- leaders that don't give a damn about you or anyone else, ones that just see you as pawns"
Carl sighed as he looked toward his home, "Yeah. Whatever."
"No. Not whatever. It's the truth and you know it, you're just mad that things aren't going the way you want them to", She snapped, growing tired of his attitude, "Running into battle by yourself to spite everyone else doesn't solve any problems"
"And running away doesn't solve any problems either", He snapped back effortlessly, looking at her with disinterest from her good eye.
Michonne nearly growled at him, "Do you think I owe you an apology for leaving?"
He scoffed at her, "I think you owe me an explanation? You just left without warning and then you come back with some kid like nothing happened"
"He's around your age", She pointed out dryly.
His eye only widened in anger, "So then why couldn't you take me with you? If you just wanted a break or something then I could have left too, but you didn't even give me that option- you just left in the middle of the night- We looked for you! All of us did! Daryl only stopped because stuff kept happening here!"
Michonne's shoulders slumped. She didn't think her disappearance would cause that much disruption, "I couldn't have taken you even if I wanted to. You have parents, they'd kill me"
"My mom probably wouldn't like it but dad would trust you because it's you"
"Your dad still wouldn't have let you come with me. He would have wanted both of us here, Carl", She sighed as she ran a hand over Judith's hair, noticing the girl looked completely uninterested in all that was going on around her, "Look, I'm sorry. I should have said something to you at the very least, and I used to wish that I had"
The teen finally didn't look so hardened, his shoulders relaxing to some degree, "...I just wanted to know what was wrong? You could have told me- we tell each other everything, remember? That was our number one rule"
"I know, I screwed up", She placed a hand on his shoulder, "But I'm here and you can't get rid of me"
Carl slowly nodded as he dropped his gaze to the ground beneath them, "...Was it about them?"
Michonne involuntarily tensed, "...It was."
"...Have you told dad?"
"No. I'm not ready to.", She answered honestly, knowing that whatever she told Carl was in safe keeping.
"He used to think you guys were like... best friends or something"
Michonne snorted, "He still does. He's so weird."
She could have jumped for joy when she saw the wide smile spread across the teen's face, confirming to her that she could still make the teen laugh, even if it took a little work. After remembering that the whole reason they returned back to his home was to free his mother, the trio finally went back inside and Michonne set about opening the attic door once again. Lori appeared relieved, hurrying down the ladder steps and taking Judith in her arms as soon as she could, "God, what happened?"
Michonne tried to keep her tone even, as she didn't want to alarm the woman, "Negan wanted Rick to bring you to him. We told him you left, and he believed it"
Lori lip curled in disgust as she cradled Judith's head against her, "And they're gone?"
"Yeah… But there was a little accident", It dawned on Michonne that she was about to be blamed for earlier events, "Rick's in the infirmary"
Lori's eyes nearly bulged out of her head, "What? Why?"
"He punched Negan", Carl divulged with a small, smug smirk, "Hard."
His mother looked as if she would need to visit the infirmary, "Why? What happened? Is he okay?!"
"Let's just head over there", Michonne suggested, begging to push the ladder away, "Rosita was about to give him something for the pain..."
Even after spending so much time around Lori in the past, Michonne still couldn't swallow how frantic she could get. She had given up trying to calm her down as it wasn't her job to, so she left that up to Rick or anyone else who was willing to volunteer. They left the Grimes household in silence and returned to the infirmary, where Rick appeared to be lying a little more comfortably in the stretcher while Rosita looked over his chest and Mickey sat in the corner of the room on a stool.
"You did good out there", Michonne announced quietly as she stood beside Mickey, "I think you're the reason he believed us"
The teen shrugged nonchalantly, "I just did what I thought was right...Why did he want her?"
"Because he's sick", She replied easily, looking over at Rick and his family. Lori still held Judith as she shot questions at Rick and Rosita, even though neither replied with any haste.
"...This is getting a little awkward for me", Mickey admitted in a very subtle whisper, "Can we…"
"Yeah.", Michonne hadn't noticed that the teen was effectively stood around a bunch of strangers, and possibly feeling out of place, so she slapped a hand on his back to spur him to move, "Alright, come on"
They snuck out of the infirmary with the intention of heading back home to see if they had suffered any damage to their new home, when Michonne heard her name being called from the building they just left. She blew out a deep breath, knowing it was Lori before she even turned around. She knew she'd have something to say about Rick's bold move but she naively thought that she could escape unscathed.
"Can I just stop you for a moment?", Lori asked, no longer holding her toddler daughter on her side. Her face was flushed, her eyes hard and focused.
Michonne nodded, already folding her arms over her chest, "Go on."
"I just need you to explain to me how this happened because- because this isn't the first time they've came here and all of a sudden… He's possibly broken a rib?", Lori threw one of her hands up in despair, "What happened today that didn't happen before?"
Michonne narrowed her eyes at Lori, "He punched him."
"I know that he punched him, but why?", Lori quizzed, pulling the light cardigan she wore around her body, "Rick- Rick agreed that we'd do nothing to rile him up, that we'd just do as we were told and now look-"
"Lori, Rick is the only person that can tell you why he does what he does", Michonne administered with a little more edge than she planned, "We are not going to go back to doing this"
The brunette appeared taken back for a second, but soon retorted, "I would like to think that you can see that I'm trying not to go back to how things were before. I told you, we had all agreed on how we wouldn't handle this and I would think that since you're staying then you agree. You're part of this community, too"
Michonne found herself pinching her nose bridge as she bowed her head, uttering tiredly, "...I will not apologise for what Rick does. You won't hold me responsible for what Rick does-"
"I do not hold you responsible for what my husband does and I do not expect you to apologise for what he does!", Lori hissed, "I just want you take some responsibility for the role that you play in all this!"
"The role I play in all this?", Michonne squinted at the woman as she dropped her hands by her side, "Oh yeah, I forgot that because you having your husband back is more important than anything else. More important than everyone one else having to struggle to get by- more important than everyone else living in fear¬"
"I'm not talking about any of that! I'm talking about the fact that my husband will do anything for you because he's in love with you, Goddamit!", As soon as the words slipped from Lori's mouth she stepped back, as if she could physically stop in their tracks.
Michonne blinked at Lori, her brown eyes darting over every inch of the woman's face.
"No… I'm not going to run from this anymore", Lori continued defiantly, "I know. He knows. The only person that didn't, was you. You might be wondering how or why but… Unlike me, Rick is a good man. I know that despite what he feels, he… He'd never act on that and I know that's true because I can see it in your eyes- you didn't know, but now you do."
Michonne dropped her gaze to the concrete slab of the pavement, "...Why are you telling me this..."
"...Because", Lori blew out a breath, causing a few strands of her hair to shoot out of her face. She smoothed them back as she tried to compose herself, "I thought it was just a crush and I understood why; you were both so similar... and you were nothing like me. And I had felt so guilty for the things that I'd done that I said nothing while he looked at you like he used to look at me once upon a time… I thought it would wear out, and I was sure that it did for a while but maybe I was just too busy with Judith to see it was just evolving into something bigger… into something that I don't think he and I had, and I know it. He feels closer to you than he does me¬"
"Why are you telling me this, Lori?", Michonne felt her voice strain as she tried to keep their argument contained between the two of them, "What good will this do?"
The brunette rolled her eyes shut as she placed a hand on her forehead, taking a moment to finally reply, "...I guess I'm just tired of having to watch my husband love someone else. You've been back here for a day and he's already putting himself in harm's way… And if you don't think that that's because of you then well… I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. If you want to fight back then he will-"
"He doesn't. He's made up his mind so you have nothing to worry about there", Michonne waved her hand dismissively at the idea.
"Like he made up his mind about coming here?", Lori spoke in a mocking tone as she looked around the empty streets, "He punched Aaron- he took his supplies- he swore blind that he was done taking risks and then look what happened! You get him alone for a minute and all of a sudden we're on the road to Alexandria. It was almost comical how quickly he changed his tune- and that was because of you"
Michonne shook her head as she looked behind Lori, "Because I wasn't afraid to say what everyone else was thinking."
"I think that's part of the appeal. He can't force you to do anything, you'll always fight for everyone else… And if he is what stands between you and your happiness then he'll move out the way without a second thought.", Lori looked noticeably more relaxed than she had done previously. She was finally able to share the weight of a relatively large secret, of course she'd feel some relief, "I've never worried that he'd leave me for you. We both know that he won't, and I won't give up on my family-"
"Good, then don't", Michonne took one last look at the other woman before turning around and continuing on her way. There was nothing left for her to say.
She never questioned the foundations of her friendship with Rick. She didn't have to, she was hugely certain that it was built on shared experience and mutual understanding; they would do anything to protect their group and each other. She loved him, and she knew her world would fall apart if anything were to happen to him. She had a taste of that kind of devastation before with Mickey's father and had yet to fully recover.
The truth was, she could see it. She could see where his interests in her could have manifested into something greater but like Lori, she thought Rick was too good of a man to say or do anything to let her know and she was right. He had never said or done anything that hinted that he cared about her as more than just a friend. Strangely, it made her respect him even more, as if she could have any more respect him than she already did.
The confession from his wife only made her heart ache, so much so that when she and Mickey finally returned to the townhouse she began clearing up without another word. She knew he wanted to know what was on her mind but she couldn't tell him. He was still just a boy after all and too young to understand the tangled web the adults had weaved. They spent the remainder of the afternoon locked away from everyone else, and it was only when Michonne only left the teen when she knew he would be busy getting acquainted with the numerous books the Safe-zone had to offer. In spite of everything else that had unfolded that day, she wanted to check on Rick. She had to. She didn't want to see him hurt any more than anyone else did.
Rosita still hung around the infirmary, sitting out front on a rocking chair. Michonne didn't know what to think of the woman's attitude; she'd always had one, but she'd noticed it was a little more prominent than she remembered. She didn't doubt that it was because of Negan and the Saviors but she didn't see anyone else directing that anger at everyone. It spiked her interest, but they weren't friendly enough for her to ask so she didn't.
"You're awake.", Michonne leaned on the door frame of the adjacent room to where Rick had previously been, "Why?"
He looked at her from an angle, his head lying on the world's thinnest pillow, "...Can't sleep."
She sat a hand on her hip, "...You felt like that was necessary?"
He knew she was talking about his outburst, "...It was."
She didn't expect him to think any differently, but still had to ask.
"I need to thank that little friend of yours…", He continued, looking up at the ceiling, "He was good out there… quick thinker."
"Yeah… He's good like that.", She agreed, pushing off the door frame when she noticed a chair nearby.
"...Think there might be a problem with him and Carl?"
"Yep", She replied easily, dragging the chair closer to his bed, "There will be."
A ghost of a smile appeared on his face, "Fighting for your attention…"
Michonne sat down with a huff, her legs spread aggressively as she folded her arms, "It took you a while to catch on. Did you really think I'd hand over Lori to Negan?"
He released a little groan, "I don't know what I was thinking, I just knew that I didn't want that to happen but… I really should be thanking you more than anythan'. You haven't even been back that long and you're back to saving my family again… I guess that's another thang I never said enough but thanks… for everythan'. You've always been there for me and… I don't think I've ever said thanks "
She snorted at his sentiment, "I figured that keeping me alive was our way of saying that. Following you into the gates of hell themselves was my way of saying it to you."
He smirked at her, "Maybe that's how it really did work…"
She continued to stare at the side of his face as she prepared to breathe life into her most recent thoughts,"...I've been thinking about something…"
He turned his head to look at her, "Yeah? What?"
"...Moving to the Hilltop… Joining Maggie and Sasha…"
He stared at her for a short while before looking back at the ceiling. Whatever he felt towards that notion, he hid well, "I'm not surprised to hear that."
"...I want to help them. I think they need it.", She admitted solemnly, "I know how you feel about it, and I respect that… I can see why you¬"
"But you disagree, and you want to do somethan' about it. I know,", His chest rose as he took a deep breath, causing him to grimace as he exhaled, "...I didn't expect you to fall in line because you never really have, and I don't think I'd ever be able to keep you in one place either"
"No.", She shook her head, "No one can… But I always come back. You know that."
He looked at her again, his eyes examining her closely, "...Did you ever think about coming back when you were out there?"
Michonne gave him a little shrug, "Sometimes. It would cross my mind…"
"...Was there someone keeping you out there?", He probed, keeping his tone light so he didn't scare her off, "Besides the boy?"
"You could say that", She answered honestly.
He dropped his gaze to her arm, "...His father?"
"Great detective work."
"You never really lose it", He wore a crooked smile as he looked back at her, "What happened?"
"He died", She softened her tone, "Just like everyone else."
Rick gave her one of his pitying looks that she hated, and he must had remembered that she did because he quickly hardened, "I think he'd be glad to see that you're looking after his son."
"I'd like to think so, too.", She watched him just as carefully as he watched her, "...Carl? What happened there?"
He snapped his eyes shut and rubbed both hands over his face, "...Where do I start?"
"Maybe with his eye?"
"...That…", Rick frowned as he thought about it, "That was tough… It was an accident but- I don't know if you remember the Andersons?"
"I don't. Go on."
"Well Pete, he was the doctor… He was hitting his wife and their two boys… Everyone knew but, he was the doctor so… they turned a blind eye, they didn't wanna' lose him… I got into it with him and ended up killing him. His wife and their youngest got attacked when we had walkers in this place and his oldest son just hated me for it all... and so he tried to shoot me but missed, got Carl instead…"
Michonne could sense that there was some form of regret that he carried in his tale, and he proved her right.
"He was just a kid, and he was mad… confused…But I was just so- so upset about Carl that I left him out there to die", Rick began to shake his head but stopped, "I think I could have handled that whole thang a little better"
Michonne scoffed, "...I would have killed him if he hurt Carl. Even if he just clipped his ear."
Rick did everything to fight back a smile, but failed, "You always had a way of making me feel a little less of a monster"
"You shouldn't feel like a monster. Your son was hurt, you reacted. It's what good parents do, they protect their children…", She stopped herself when the words began to get a little more difficult to form. She snapped her mouth shut, deciding it wouldn't be best for her to elaborate any further.
Rick's face grew serious. He lifted his head of the pillow and tried to sit up but struggled, "Michonne?"
"Lay down. Now.", She demanded, sitting up straight, "Just… You did what you needed to protect you both. Don't ever feel like a monster for that."
He wouldn't forget what he saw and she knew it, but he did nod in agreement as he lay back down, "You're right"
"I know. So, since you're up, you might as well tell me everything I need to know about the others", She crossed one leg over the other as she moved onto more important topics, "I need to know."
Rick sighed deeply, "Well, let's start with the Kingdom…".