Remus was avoiding her. He had been all weekend.
Hermione hadn't caught so much as a glimpse of him since they'd been in the Shrieking Shack the morning after the full moon. She'd assumed he would be spending some time in the Hospital Wing on Saturday, but she'd expected to see him again by Sunday. When he failed to make an appearance at mealtimes, however, she began to suspect he was either more injured than she'd previously believed or just purposely dodging her.
"Where's Remus?" she asked James at dinner.
James glanced pointedly at Marcia and Kirsten sitting beside them.
Kirsten had overheard her question. "He went home to see his father, didn't he?"
"That's right," Hermione said, having momentarily forgotten that James wouldn't be able to answer her openly in company.
All he could tell her was, "I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow for classes."
She hoped so. She could only imagine how Remus must be feeling after the events of Friday night, which had resulted in two more of his classmates learning about his lycanthropy, his carefully guarded secret, and in such a perilous manner.
That night in the Head Girl's dormitory, when Hermione shared with Lily her thought that Remus might be avoiding them, Lily agreed with her suspicion.
"He probably doesn't want to face us yet," she said. "He's probably afraid of our reaction to finding out what he is. I don't blame him."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked her sharply. "Do you have a problem with him now that you know he's—"
"Of course not!" Lily said, sounding stung that she would think such a thing. "It's not his fault he was bitten. And he's still the same Remus, isn't he? I only meant that it's understandable for him to be afraid to face us. Especially you, Jean, since he likes you."
"He doesn't like me."
"I still think he does, whatever you say to the contrary. But either way, he's afraid of what we think of him now."
"If he'd only stop hiding out, we could tell him nothing's changed."
"We can tell him tomorrow. James said he'd be back for classes, remember? He won't be able to avoid us any longer."
Lily was wrong.
Remus didn't come down to breakfast the next morning, and throughout lessons that day, he did all he could to avoid any interaction with the girls. He didn't sit by Hermione in class like he normally did, and he determinedly refused to meet her gaze whenever she tried to catch his eye. Hermione, growing frustrated, felt like grabbing him by the front of his shirt and forcing him to face her, but she didn't want to push things or attract any attention to them. She'd let him be for now and wait patiently until classes were over to speak with him.
But when the final bell of the day rang, and Remus bolted from the classroom before she could stop him or see where he'd gone, Hermione had finally had it. She marched up to Sirius and James in the Gryffindor common room. "Tell me where Remus is."
James shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno."
"Then look it up on that map of yours!" she demanded, but he and Sirius only stared back at her guardedly, almost critically, protective of their friend.
"Why do you want to know where he is?" Sirius asked her.
"I need to talk to him, but he's been rather elusive lately."
"He thinks he's doing you a favor by staying away," Sirius told her. "He's convinced you don't want anything to do with him now that you know what you know."
"That's ridiculous! Why should that change anything? He's still my friend."
"So you don't have an issue with his furry little problem?" asked James, studying her carefully.
"The only issue I have is with him avoiding me the way he has been and not giving us a chance to talk. Now, will you please tell me where he is?"
Sirius and James exchanged a look, then Sirius said, "If he's not in the library, then he's probably up on the Astronomy Tower. That's where he usually disappears to when he wanders off on his own."
"Thank you."
Hermione made her way over to the Astronomy Tower and climbed up the spiral staircase leading to the highest point of the castle. Right through the door that led out to the ramparts, she found Remus, just as Sirius had predicted. He sat with his back against the tower wall, absently sliding a fistful of bluebell flames between his hands as he gazed up at the obscure winter sky, lost in thought.
"Hey."
Remus froze at the sound of her voice. Then, reluctantly, he glanced up at her. "Hey."
"May I sit with you?" she asked him tentatively.
He gave an ambiguous jerk of his head in response. Hermione decided to take it as a nod of consent. She settled down beside him and admired the bluebell flames she was so fond of as he maneuvered them between his hands, though not with the same ease as before.
"I'm glad I found you," she said to him after a short silence. "I've been hoping we could talk."
Remus again went still. "I'm sorry."
"For avoiding me?"
"For putting you in danger Friday night. For deceiving you about — about what I am."
"I like who you are, Remus."
He slowly turned to face her, his eyes finally meeting hers, and frowned slightly. As if he thought she hadn't fully grasped the fact on Friday night, he told her explicitly, "I'm a werewolf, Jean."
"I know. You're also a brave, kind, clever, and—"
"Deadly beast." He extinguished the flames in his hand as he got to his feet and stepped away from her. "That's what I would be to anyone who were to find out about me — a creature to regard with fear, distrust, repulsion…"
"Do you want to know what you are to me?" Hermione asked, rising to her feet as well. Remus looked like he really did not want to know, but she went on anyway. "A good person, the best study partner a girl like me could ever hope for, a great guy… someone whose friendship I wouldn't want to lose."
Remus stared at her, a look of pure incomprehension on his face. Then he shook his head.
"You're just being kind. You don't need to be. I understand if—"
"I'm not being kind," she told him. "It doesn't matter to me that you're a werewolf."
"It should matter. I'm dangerous, Jean. I could have bitten you Friday night. I nearly did."
"You're only a danger to me if I'm dumb enough to seek you out when the moon is full. If it makes you feel any better, I promise not to do that again."
She said her last statement lightly, but her gentle attempt at humor did nothing to lift his frown. He stared at her in an almost troubled bewilderment, like he couldn't believe any rational person could be so casual and accepting of his cursed dual nature.
"Look, I don't care that you're a werewolf, alright?" she repeated. "That makes no difference to me. I only care that you're you, that you're Remus. Nothing else matters."
He continued to contemplate her in silence, looking uncertain still, and she crossed her arms over her chest.
"It's cold out here," she said. "Why don't we go inside?"
Remus shook his head once more.
"Jean, you don't have to—" he started again, but Hermione cut across him.
"Let's go, Remus," she said firmly. Then she took him by surprise by taking his hand.
Remus glanced down at their interlocked fingers, a faint crease between his brows, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he allowed Hermione to lead him back to the warmth of the castle.
"What was going on with you and Remus earlier?" Kirsten asked Hermione in the Head Girl's dormitory that evening. "You guys weren't talking during class."
"Did the two of you have a row?" asked Marcia, looking amused by the idea for some reason.
"No, we just had a bit of a misunderstanding, that's all," Hermione told them. "But everything's fine now."
Marcia seemed to want to probe further into the matter, but before she could speak again, Lily asked, "So what do you girls think of this one?"
She'd pulled out another dress from her wardrobe, and grateful for the change in subject, Hermione said, "It's beautiful. I think you should go with that one."
"Me too," Kirsten agreed. "It's perfect for Slughorn's Christmas party."
"Will James be going with you?" Marcia asked. "Is he even allowed to after that prank he and the boys pulled on Slughorn last year?"
"I'm sure Slughorn doesn't hold that against them," Lily said. "It was all in good fun."
"You're so lucky," Kirsten told her. "You get to have parties and meet important and fascinating people. I wish I had been invited to join the Slug Club. Don't you, Marcia?"
"Please," Marcia scoffed. "That club's discriminatory and pretentious, don't you think? Most of the members are only invited because of their family connections and blood status."
"That's not true. I'm Muggle-born and I was invited," Lily pointed out.
"That's because you're Sluggy's favorite student," Marcia said.
Lily shrugged and continued comparing her green dress to her blue one.
Kirsten sighed. "I still wish I had been invited."
Funnily enough, later that week, Hermione was invited to join the Slug Club. After Potions, impressed by her excellent performance in class, Professor Slughorn insisted she attend his Christmas party the following weekend. He only vaguely extended the invitation to Remus as well. Hermione got the impression that whatever Lily had said, Slughorn still held a grudge against the Marauders.
As she was walking alone to her dormitory that same evening, wondering what sort of prank the Marauders had pulled on Slughorn, Hermione suddenly heard a muffled cry break the peaceful silence of the corridor.
She turned the corner, and there along an otherwise lonely passageway, she saw two Slytherins taunting a smaller student who was sitting hunched over against the wall, covering his face. The taller of the Slytherins grabbed the wrists of the scrawny boy on the floor and tore his hands away from his tear-streaked face. The bullies laughed. Across the forehead of the young student, written in big bold letters, was the word "Mudblood."
The shorter of the Slytherins pointed his wand at their victim, and a horrified Hermione ran forward, raising her own wand.
"Expelliarmus!" she cried, and the startled Slytherins watched as their wands soared out of their hands and into hers.
"What do you think you're doing?" the taller boy asked her in a gruff voice.
"Give us back our wands," the other bully growled.
"I don't think so," Hermione replied. The taller Slytherin started towards her and she pointed her wand at him. "I wouldn't if I were you."
"What? Are you going to curse me?" he jeered, not threatened by her in the least. She, on the other hand, was apprehensive. When he took a step forward, she reacted instinctively, firing a Stinging Jinx at his face.
"Aargh!" The Slytherin's hands shot up to his swelling features. "What did you do to me? My face — I can't see!"
The shorter boy gawked at his friend's distorted face. Then he too started towards Hermione, his fists clenched, but she turned her wand on him next and he grudgingly backed away.
"You two have had your fun," Hermione told them. "Why don't you leave now before Professor McGonagall gets here? Don't worry. I'll make sure she returns your wands safely."
The shorter boy scowled at her, but with his wand in Hermione's hand, there was really nothing more he could do but growl, "You'd better watch yourself," and glare back at her as he led his friend away.
When they were out of sight, Hermione turned her attention to the young boy still hunched on the ground. She kneeled down next to him. "Are you okay?"
He sniffled and nodded, glancing fearfully at where his bullies had disappeared.
"They're gone now," Hermione said soothingly. "It's all right."
"They t-told me they knew I was a M-Mudblood," the boy said, his eyes wet and shiny as he rubbed the word written on his forehead. "They said they could smell it, the — the filth in my blood. They put this on my face so that others could know as well. I w-wish I wasn't Muggle-born."
The boy let out a little sob and Hermione put her arm around him.
"There's absolutely nothing wrong with being Muggle-born," she told him. "Those boys are just bullies, cruel and terribly misinformed bullies. Don't believe anything they say, okay? What's your name?"
"Alex."
"Well, Alex, my name is Jean and I think you are a very brave and nice boy. If those Slytherins or anyone else tries anything like this again, you come tell me or one of the teachers, okay?"
"Okay," he said. He wiped his eyes and looked up at her. "Thank you. You really scared them away. You're very good at magic."
"Thanks. And you know what, Alex? I'm Muggle-born just like you."
"You're Muggle-born too?" he said, gazing at her in awe.
Hermione smiled. "Yes, and proud of it." She stood up and helped Alex to his feet. "Come on, let's go get — ah!"
A sharp pain shot through Hermione's hand and the three wands she held flew away from her. She looked around. The two Slytherins had returned and brought a friend. The third Slytherin, a dark-haired boy, caught the wands and handed them back to their owners, keeping Hermione's for himself.
"Do you have your wand, Alex?" whispered Hermione urgently.
"No, I dropped it when they were chasing me."
So she was magically defenseless, and outnumbered, and the three Slytherins knew it. They sneered at her as they approached, closing ranks on her and Alex, and she stood protectively in front of the young, frightened boy, her nerves on edge.
"So you're a Mudblood, are you?" the dark-haired Slytherin said with disgust. "And proud of it?"
Hermione stared at him, a tingle of terrible fear sweeping through her. Something about the way he moved, something about the look in this boy's heavily hooded eyes reminded her of Bellatrix Lestrange…
"I can't wait until filth like you are exterminated," he continued harshly. "But until then, some fun…" He tilted his head slightly, his dark eyes flashing with twisted pleasure, and all Hermione could think of was Bellatrix and Malfoy Manor and being tortured. "You won't be so proud to be a Mudblood after this!"
The Slytherin flicked his wand and Hermione was hoisted into the air by her ankle. Next moment, a loud bang, yelling and crashing sounds, and she fell to the floor. Panicked, terrified, she hastily returned to her feet, hearing the echo of Bellatrix shouting "Crucio!" and feeling the ghost of the excruciating pain that had ensued.
Hermione looked all around her. She didn't see Bellatrix anywhere. Instead, she saw Remus standing nearby, his wand still raised and pointing past her. Alex, Lily, James, and Sirius were behind him, staring at her in concern, their lips moving, but Hermione couldn't hear them, couldn't comprehend. She turned. Two of the three Slytherins were lying on the floor by the wall, apparently unconscious. Where was the tall Slytherin? And where was Bellatrix? There. The tall Slytherin, his face still swollen, was lying down but stirring. No Bellatrix.
The Muggle Studies professor came running up the corridor and looked alarmed at the scene before him. He kneeled down beside one of the Slytherins, demanding explanations from the others, then his gaze fixed on Hermione, who turned around wildly when somebody touched her arm. Lily retracted her hand and cautiously took a step back. Hermione glanced all around her once more.
But Bellatrix was nowhere to be seen. She wasn't there, and slowly, Hermione came to realize she never had been. But the fear had been real, and it lingered in her now. She looked around at her friends, her gaze settling upon Remus, and before she knew it, she was clutching him, tears escaping from her eyes, and he was stroking her hair soothingly, whispering words of comfort in her ear.
Hermione was embarrassed by her freak out. She'd had nightmares about Bellatrix before — being tortured by her at Malfoy Manor; the sadistic witch seeking her out during the Battle of Hogwarts, intent on murder — but she hadn't had one of these dreams in months and so was surprised that the memories still affected her so strongly and that they'd been triggered by today's incident.
Thankfully, none of her friends seemed to think she was weak or that she'd overreacted to what had taken place. Instead, they did their best to cheer her up that night in the Gryffindor common room. They spent a good deal of time cursing the three boys who'd attacked her and hoping that once Dumbledore was informed of the incident the Slytherins would receive a more severe punishment than the loads of detention the Muggle Studies teacher had assigned them. They even brainstormed some ideas for what that punishment should be, one suggestion involving each Slytherin being forced to wear Kirsten's Tinker Bell dress for an entire day, though they couldn't agree on whether this would be more punishing for the three boys or for those who set eyes on them.
Unfortunately, the Muggle Studies professor had given Remus detention as well, for dueling, which everyone agreed was completely unfair. They thought Remus's Stunning Spell, powerful enough to knock three people out cold, merited only praise. They also appreciated the effects of Hermione's Stinging Jinx on the tall Slytherin. The consensus was that the face-distorting jinx had actually improved the boy's appearance. Hermione was effectively cheered up in no time at all.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I love reading your thoughts on the story so far, and your comments really are great motivation, so thanks :)