I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "The Flash", "Arrow", or "DC Comics". I'm glad many of you are enjoying this fanfiction so far. I was a little bit nervous about the last chapter from Barry's POV because it's hard to know what he's actually thinking, but I'm happy many of you thought I did a pretty good job. This chapter will be from Caitlin's POV and it will be an emotional rollercoaster. As always, thanks for favoriting/following and commenting.
Chapter 4
When Speed and Cold Collide
Caitlin makes her way into Star Labs, feeling completely exhausted. She hadn't slept a wink the night before and she knows that it's taking a toll on her. Caitlin walks over to the computer, feeling unfamiliar in the spot, considering Iris has now taken her place there. She's not exactly angry about that fact, but she feels like she's been relegated to a secondary position in the group now. "Good morning, Cait." Her heart speeds at the sound of his voice, but she manages to turn around to face him. "Morning, Barry, what's this?" Barry hands over the coffee and gives her a smile. "It's sort of a peace offering." Caitlin feels confusion wash over her and she's not sure how to handle it. "What do you mean by peace offering?" While waiting for him to answer, she takes a sip of her coffee. Of course, it's exactly the way she likes it. "Look, Cait, I know that I haven't been there for you lately and I just want to apologize for that. I've just been caught up lately." Caitlin's not sure what to say to that. "Because of Iris?" Barry gives her a nod. "Yeah, I kinda got caught up in our relationship, but I promise that's going to change." Caitlin nearly drops her coffee at his words.
She doesn't understand where any of this is coming from. "What made you realize that you needed to apologize to me?" Barry gives her that smile she loves so much. "Iris, actually." With that, Caitlin's heart drops. She's surprised that Iris had encouraged him to apologize to her, considering she was the main reason why their relationship had fallen apart. "How?" Barry takes a sip of coffee, completely oblivious to the fact, that all of this is killing her. "She told me that she asked you to be her Maid of Honor and I realized that she wanted to start the next chapter of our lives fresh with everyone by making amends. You're important to me Caitlin, so I followed her lead and I want to make it up to you." She feels anger rise up inside of her, but she tries not to let her Killer Frost side take over. Her eyes lock with his hopeful ones. "Do you really think that's the reason why she asked me?" The hope turns into confusion within his eyes and she suddenly regrets blurting that question out.
Caitlin can't stand sitting in the chair anymore, her chair, so she stands up and makes her way over to the other side of the room. Their eyes lock for a few moments, before she sighs. "Have you ever wondered why Iris and I have barely talked since she joined the team or why I teamed up with Savitar?" Barry doesn't respond, so she takes that as her cue to continue. "Well, I have and the answer to both questions are…you, Barry." The room is completely silent, and she can see the pity within his eyes. He pities her and that's not the kind of reaction she was hoping for. Caitlin starts pacing around the room, praying that no one walks in on this conversation, specifically Iris. "What are you saying Cait?" Caitlin stops and her breath catches. She tries to ignore the rapid pace of her heartbeat. "When we first met after you came out of your coma, you must have felt something between us, at least, I hope you did. Before you got together with Iris, I thought that we had a chance, but then that all changed. I understand that you love Iris, but deep down, you must have known how I felt about you?" The words are out and she's not sure what to do next, or even how Barry will react to her revelation. He stares at her, coffee in his hand, and his sorrowful eyes lock with hers. "Cait…I" Caitlin feels an ache in her chest at the thought that after everything they've been through, he has nothing to say to her.
She begins to walk out of the lab, when Barry flashes in front of her. Caitlin's eyes go wide, as he takes her hand in his and locks eyes with her once more. "I'm sorry for ignoring whatever's between us and pushing it aside like it didn't matter. It does matter, Cait, I just got together with Iris and lost track of it." Caitlin's heart skips a beat, as his warm hand squeezes her own. "That day, when Killer Frost told me that I didn't care about anything else but my dream life with Iris, she was right. I knew that you were still Caitlin Snow underneath everything and the only way to save you was to put my life on the line. At the time, I ignored the fact that what Killer Frost said was how you really felt and I'm sorry for that, Cait. I should have talked to you about this before." Caitlin nods, hardly believing his words, and still clutching onto his hand tightly. While she's happy that he's apologizing for ignoring her feelings and his own, she's angry that he had put her through all this. "Now, you're marrying Iris and it's too late." Caitlin let's that linger in the air for a few moments and it looks like he's about to say something, but she decides that she doesn't want to hear him confirm that it's too late for them. So, even though she's breaking her own heart, she knows what she needs to do now and what's best for the both of them.
Caitlin let's his hand go and takes a step back. His eyes go wide, and she shakes her head. "Barry, I think it's best, if after the wedding, I leave Central City for good. I feel like I don't have a place here anymore and it's time for me to move on somewhere else." She doesn't say it, but what she really meant to say was from you. The sadness within Barry's eyes speaks volumes, but there's nothing left for her to say. As she walks past him and leaves the lab, some part of her still hopes that he'll stop her. It was the exact same thing she wished for when she had left Central City before he went into the speed force, but he doesn't appear in front of her this time. Caitlin steps into the elevator and watches the doors close. She knows that she'll always love him, she's sure of that, but she needs to find her purpose elsewhere. Even though, deep down, she knows it's supposed to be by his side.