When Remus returned to the common room, neither he nor Hermione were keen to revisit the conversation they'd been having before he'd left for the Owlery. Still, the anxious Hermione apologized to Remus again for her dishonesty, and he repeated to her that he understood the reason she'd lied about her blood status and didn't hold it against her. He closed their brief talk on the subject by assuring her that everything was fine between them. As the evening progressed, Hermione began to believe him.
The next day, however, she realized Remus's words had been empty.
The pair met outside Hermione's dorm that morning and greeted each other with a kiss like they normally did. But Remus pulled away from their kiss — from her — rather abruptly. Then, afterwards, he didn't take her hand like he usually did. Hermione knew in that moment that everything was definitely not fine between them, and as the morning wore on it only became clearer Remus was upset with her. He didn't exactly say anything that directly indicated he was upset, nor did he behave in a manner which would obviously suggest so, but she distinctly felt an undercurrent of tension in their interactions that could only be explained by the revelation of her dishonesty the night before and his doubts about her because of the Marauder's Map.
It was lunchtime when two younger Gryffindor boys approached Remus for assistance with a prank they were pulling on a couple of Ravenclaws.
"Do you mind if I go help them?" Remus asked her.
"Not at all," Hermione said, not altogether truthfully. "This will give me time to finish making your Christmas gift."
"Great. I'll meet you as soon as we're done."
Without giving her a kiss goodbye, Remus went off with the other Gryffindors and left Hermione with the unshakable impression that he was relieved to part from her.
Hermione indeed spent most of the afternoon finishing up the Christmas gifts she was knitting for her friends and also trying to figure out how she was going to get out of this mess she found herself in. How was she going to fix things with Remus? She knew they had to talk again, but she still didn't know what she should tell him. She didn't want to lie to him anymore, yet she feared telling him the truth, not only because Dumbledore had said it would be dangerous but because she was also afraid of Remus's reaction. How would he feel if he found out he was dating his much younger student from the future?
Hermione gave up knitting when evening came. On her way to the library for a distraction from her thoughts, she ran into the two boys Remus was helping. They were in high spirits and greeted her enthusiastically.
"You should have seen the faces on those Ravenclaws! Remus is a genius," said the fair-haired Gryffindor. Then, "Ha, that rhymed!"
"Um, where is Remus?" Hermione asked.
"He's supposed to be with you, isn't he?" the darker-haired boy said to her. "He left us to go meet up with you about an hour ago."
Hermione tried not to make a big deal out of the fact that Remus hadn't come to find her as soon as he'd finished helping the Gryffindors like he'd told her he would. It didn't necessarily mean anything. It didn't necessarily mean he was avoiding her. Except he kind of was avoiding her.
She wandered down the corridor, lost in her thoughts, until Nearly Headless Nick came floating towards her in a huff.
"I wouldn't go anywhere near the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom if I were you," the ghost warned Hermione.
"Why not?"
"Apparently, that Lupin boy is meditating and does not wish to be disturbed."
"Meditating?"
"Yes, and it clearly is not working for him. He didn't seem very calm when he shot a spell at my chest that would have — if I were corporeal — expelled me from the room with unnecessary roughness," Nearly Headless Nick relayed to her indignantly.
"That doesn't sound like him," Hermione said, taken aback.
"Oh no, he's supposed to be a nice young man, isn't he? Well, I'm not so sure."
The ghost went on his way, muttering to himself about the living's lack of respect for the dead.
Wondering what was going on with Remus, Hermione quickly headed to the D.A.D.A. classroom. Inside, she found him sitting atop the teacher's desk.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, hopping off the desk as she entered the room. His tone of voice suggested her unexpected presence was not entirely welcome.
"Looking for you," Hermione replied. She glanced around. What was he doing in here all alone? Had he really been meditating? He'd never mentioned to her before that he practiced meditation.
"I was just about to go look for you," Remus told her.
Hermione's eyes settled on his. Oh really?
"How was the prank?" she asked.
"Successful," he answered succinctly. Then, edging past her toward the door, "Do you want to go down to dinner?"
"It's a bit early for dinner, isn't it?"
"I suppose it is."
They regarded each other awkwardly for a few moments, a strange, slightly strained silence growing between them, before Hermione decided she needed to overcome her unease and explain herself to Remus once and for all.
"Actually, Remus, I was hoping we could talk."
"What about?"
"About us. About our conversation yesterday. I understand you're upset with me, and you have every right to be, but—"
"I'm not upset with you," Remus interrupted.
"You — you're not?" she said, bemused by his contradiction.
"No. I told you yesterday everything was fine."
Hermione contemplated him uncertainly. Did he mean what he said? Then why did she feel as though something was amiss? Was her guilty conscience making her imagine something was wrong when everything was truly fine?
"But I feel like there's been some tension between us today," she said tentatively. "I've been getting this vibe that you — well, that you don't really want to be around me."
Remus averted his gaze and turned away from her, slowly stepping back toward the teacher's desk. Hermione took this as confirmation.
"So, I wasn't imagining it, then, was I?"
"It's not that I don't want to be around you," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I… I just need some space."
"I understand," said Hermione softly. "I probably would too if I were you. I'd find it hard to trust me, and I'd want to think things through."
"I trust you completely, Jean," Remus said, turning toward her again.
"How can you trust me? You think I'm hiding something from you."
"I do think you're hiding something. But I also realize if you are, it must be for a good reason."
Knowing that she was unlikely to get a better opening than this to confess to him the truth, Hermione mustered all the courage she had and said, "There is a good reason."
She paused, biting her lip under his inquiring gaze, then took a deep breath.
"You're right, Remus. There is something I've been keeping from you. I wanted to tell you when we first got together, but I didn't know whether I should. I promised Dumbledore I wouldn't."
"Dumbledore?"
Hermione nodded. "He thought it best if I didn't tell anyone. He said — he said it was dangerous."
"If Dumbledore said that," Remus said slowly, thoughtfully, a faint crease between his brows, "then maybe you shouldn't tell me, Jean. If he thinks it's best that way, it must mean it is."
"But I want to tell you, Remus. I have to. I need to make sure things are okay between us."
"Things are okay between us."
"They're not. You're upset with me."
And he didn't even know the whole truth yet.
"I'm not upset. I told you everything is fine." Looking concerned by the lingering doubts she thought must be clear in her eyes, he stepped closer to her. "Everything is good between us."
He reached out his hand and gently brushed her hair away from her face, caressing her cheek as he did so. Hermione leaned into his palm, the light touch comforting her as much as his words. She realized they hadn't had much physical contact since the kiss he'd cut short that morning.
"More than good," Remus continued. "Being with you has been incredible, Jean. These last two weeks have been the best of my life."
Hermione's heart swelled at his sentiment and she impulsively pressed her lips to his. She thought she felt Remus tense up at the contact, but then he was kissing her back and everything felt right again. Everything felt perfect. The last couple of weeks had been the best of her life, too. She pulled away from him slightly to tell him this but he pulled her right back to him, reengaging her in their kiss before she could speak. She didn't resist. After a day plagued by uncertainty, she relished in the feel of his lips on hers, of his reassuring embrace.
Lost in the wonderful feeling, Hermione failed to notice right away that something had subtly, almost imperceptibly shifted in Remus…
She sensed it subconsciously first, in the way his kiss changed, slowly, then suddenly, becoming more and more assertive. Demanding. She then became acutely aware of the sensation created by his uncharacteristically wandering touch. His hands traveled leisurely over her figure before sliding down to her hips, gripping her—
Abruptly, Remus backed her up against the teacher's desk. The rough, startling movement and subsequent collision threw off her equilibrium in more ways than one. But before Hermione could regain her balance, he swiftly lifted her onto the table's edge, settling himself between her legs as she sat facing him. Her pulse quickened, whether from anticipation or alarm she wasn't sure, but she didn't move away from the rather intimate position nor did she break away from their passionate kiss. She was too stunned by her boyfriend's unexpected, bold move and by the feelings beginning to stir inside her.
So caught up was Hermione that she found herself, several moments later, lying with Remus on top of the desk without knowing exactly when or how it had happened. She struggled to keep up with his demanding kiss. It was harder now, hungrier, and his hand was roaming eagerly over her figure, seeking and finding her bare skin, his unreserved touch setting her alight.
But this fire — this wasn't like the fire of the bluebell flames. This was different. He was different. This didn't feel like Remus. He was moving much too quickly. His touch was too insistent, his kiss too greedy. He bit her bottom lip with none of his usual gentleness and apprehension filled Hermione.
"Remus!" she cried the next moment, clutching his fingers painfully tight to keep him from unbuttoning her jeans.
He pulled away from her then, and looking up into his lustful gaze, Hermione detected a disconcerting foreign quality in her boyfriend's eyes. The parting words Sirius had given him came to her mind: Behave yourself, Moony.
"Remus?"
The shadow of the wolf slowly disappeared from his face. When only Remus remained, he jumped off the desk and backed away from her in a hurry, his eyes wide.
"I'm sorry, Jean," he said, looking utterly shocked by the position he'd just found himself in. "I — I need to get some air."
He departed from the room before Hermione could say a word. She was left there sitting on the desk, feeling completely bewildered and oddly flustered.
What just happened?
Remus had never kissed her that way or tried anything like that on her before. He had always been, what her mother would call, a perfect gentleman.
But she had just caught a glimpse of the wolf residing within him. Finally, it dawned on Hermione what might have been going on that day.
After she'd straightened out her ruffled hair and clothing and sufficiently regained her composure, she went after Remus. He'd said he needed some air which meant he'd probably gone either to the Astronomy Tower or out to the school grounds. The castle's entrance was closer, so she checked there first.
As soon as she passed through the front doors of the castle, she spotted Remus sitting on the snowy stone steps outside. His back was to her, but she knew he'd sensed her presence by the way he visibly tensed as she approached.
"I'm sorry I scared you," he said quietly, glancing at her a bit warily as she sat down next to him.
"You didn't scare me," Hermione said. "You just… you didn't really seem like you."
"I wasn't." He sounded troubled. "I didn't think I'd… but I knew something was different as soon as we met this morning, when I caught your scent…"
"My scent?"
A memory from the last full moon flashed through Hermione's mind. They'd been trapped beneath the Whomping Willow by the werewolf form of Remus, and James had said: Your scent is making him crazy…
"Yeah." Avoiding her gaze, Remus continued reluctantly. "When the full moon gets near… well, it affects me in some ways. I…"
Hermione remembered reading all about werewolves in her third year. She knew that in the week leading up to the full moon, the wolf part of their nature grew stronger and they were fiercely influenced by some of their more animalistic traits and instincts. Their senses heightened as well as their craving for rare meat, and they experienced a marked increase in aggression and sex drive. Hermione remembered blushing about it then, thinking of her professor's libido, and she blushed about it now.
"You don't have to explain," she told him, averting her gaze from him as well. "I've read about it before."
She should have realized what was going on sooner. She'd been so preoccupied with her own feelings, with the guilt of keeping a huge secret from Remus, that it hadn't even occurred to her that the tension she'd been feeling between them might stem from his struggle with his…wolfish urges. She understood now, and very self-consciously so, that her scent and touch triggered them. That was why Remus had pulled away from their kiss that morning and avoided physical contact with her for the rest of the day. That was why he'd wanted space.
"It's never affected me like this before, not so strongly," Remus told her after a short silence. "Dumbledore's taught me practices that help me to keep my mind and not lose myself to the werewolf part of me."
"Like meditation?"
"Yeah. It's not so effective on the night of the full moon, obviously, but it works well on the days approaching it. I — I think your scent affects me differently, though, more intensely than anybody else's, because I've never lost control before. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
"It's okay, Remus. I know you weren't yourself. Please, don't worry about it."
The truth was that Hermione was less troubled by her boyfriend's wolfish impulses and more worried about her own actions in the DADA classroom. She knew she should have put a stop to Remus much sooner than she had, but she hadn't, because she was thinking things, feeling things, she knew she shouldn't be considering the complicated nature of their relationship given the time travel situation.
Seeking a distraction for them both, she said, "Um, why don't we go to dinner now?"
Remus nodded and the pair rather awkwardly made their way to the Great Hall.
An incident like the one that had occurred in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom did not take place again in the succeeding days. Remus seemed to have mastered better control over his wolfish instincts, but Hermione was still grateful it was the full moon tonight because the next time she saw Remus, after he recovered from his transformation and was discharged from the Hospital Wing, they wouldn't have to comport themselves so cautiously.
Unfortunately, though, today was Christmas and they would have to spend it apart.
Hermione awoke that morning to a stack of presents at the foot of her bed. She opened the gifts from her friends, which included books, make-up, and sweets, until the only package left was the one from Remus. She tore the wrapping off the small parcel, uncovering a small black box. Inside was a beautiful, sterling silver necklace. She lifted it by its delicate chain and ran her thumb across the words engraved on the heart pendant: Be Silently Drawn.
Also from Remus was a short note with his familiar, neat handwriting:
Meet me in front of the library after breakfast on Tuesday.
A surprise awaits you.
P.S. Dress warmly.
So, after having fun speculating what the surprise could be, Hermione made her way to the library on Tuesday morning to find Remus already there waiting for her. He was wearing the black cap and scarf she'd knitted for him, and he smiled when he spotted the necklace he'd given her, the silver heart resting against her own. Playfully, Hermione grabbed the ends of the scarf so temptingly draped around her boyfriend's neck and pulled him into a kiss.
"Thank you, Remus. I love it," she said, using the scarf to hold him close to her.
"And I'm loving your gift even more now," he replied.
Hermione gave him another kiss before releasing him.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, noting the shadows under his eyes. This month's transformation must have been more difficult than usual without his friends there to accompany him.
"Better now. In some ways it's worse before the transformation. Afterwards, the relief that it's over outweighs everything else."
"I'm glad you're okay," she said quietly. Then, in a lighter tone, she asked him, "So, what's the surprise?"
"Let's just say you'll get to replenish your stash of chocolate shortly."
Hermione smiled at him, delighted and intrigued. Just the other day she had mentioned to Remus that her supply of chocolate was dangerously low and she couldn't wait for the next Hogsmeade weekend to resolve this crisis. Of course, Remus, being one of the Marauders, knew all about the castle's secret passageways to Hogsmeade — was the surprise a trip to Honeydukes?
"But I should tell you first," he said, "it requires a journey through an underground tunnel, and it also involves some rule breaking. Are you okay with that?"
Hermione knew Remus and his friends had taken many unauthorized excursions from Hogwarts over the years, but she herself wasn't normally one to break the rules simply for pleasure. In this particular instance, however, she had no qualms about doing so.
"I'm up for an adventure," she answered, and his eyebrows raised slightly in surprise at her lack of hesitation, though he appeared pleased all the same.
"Come with me, then," he said, taking her hand. "I want to show you one of the castle's secrets."
He didn't take her to the passage under the one-eyed witch, which she knew led directly to Honeydukes, like she expected him to. Instead, they made their way to the fourth floor corridor. After making sure the coast was clear, they approached a large mirror on the wall that Hermione had passed by countless times during her time at Hogwarts. Remus tapped his wand against it. Nothing happened that Hermione could see, but he motioned for her to come forward.
"Ready?" Smiling at the perplexed look she gave him in response, Remus went on to explain, "It's like the barrier between platforms nine and ten at King's Cross station. You just step through the glass to get to the secret passage behind it."
Indeed, it was like walking through the barrier to get to platform nine and three-quarters. The pair stepped forward, meeting their reflections in the mirror, and then they were suddenly in a torch lit room beyond it. At the far end of the room was a door. That was where Remus led her.
"What's in there?" Hermione asked when he opened the door to reveal only darkness on the other side.
"A slide. It'll take us below ground. I'll go first to make sure everything's all right. Wait a few seconds before following me. Don't worry, there's a soft landing."
And then he stepped through the doorway and disappeared. Hermione moved closer to the threshold to peer down to where the slide was said to be, but she couldn't see a thing. She'd just have to trust Remus.
Less practiced and confident than he was, she sat down on the floor by the door, stretching her legs cautiously into the darkness, before she pushed herself forward. With a little scream of fright which turned into exhilaration, she slid down a lengthy stone slide. Her feet touched down on soft earth moments later, but her momentum drove her forward, stumbling, straight into Remus.
"Are you okay?" he asked, steadying her.
Hermione grinned. "That was fun."
She pulled out her wand and muttered, "Lumos," lighting it as Remus had done his and illuminating the tunnel extending before them.
"Where exactly does this lead to?"
"You'll find out soon enough," Remus replied with an air of mystery.
Hermione looped her arm through his and they started down the passageway. Although it didn't feel like long at all, they must have walked for nearly an hour before the twisting and turning tunnel ended in stone steps. Up they went, and when they reached the top of the considerable amount of steps, Remus removed a large slab of stone overhead. They climbed up and were finally above ground again.
Hermione breathed in the frosty, fresh air and took in the stunning scenery around her. They were in the outskirts of Hogsmeade, in the countryside, and from the slope where they stood they had a brilliant view of the picturesque snow-covered village below them and the striking image of Hogwarts' castle beyond that.
"This is beautiful, Remus."
"This is one of my favorite spots in Hogsmeade," he told her. "I like the view from here, especially in the winter."
"The snow makes everything look so magical, doesn't it?"
"It's nice here in the spring as well. If it were warmer, I'd have planned a picnic."
"Oh, let's do a picnic!" Hermione said, lighting up at the idea. "That sounds wonderful!"
"In the snow?"
"Why not? It's not that cold today, and it's so lovely here."
Remus didn't need convincing. He seemed delighted by the idea as well.
The pair made their way down the slope, past the charming cottages, and onto the village's High Street. They decided to go to Honeydukes first. They spent a good deal of time in the sweetshop, wandering amongst the shelves upon shelves of delicious candy, fascinated as ever by the wide assortment of succulent sweets. Most looked mouthwatering while some, like the Cockroach Clusters, sounded simply disgusting. They searched for the most unusual and unappealing products they could find and joked around, daring each other to try them or else teasing that they were going to buy a cauldronful of the candy as a heartfelt gift for the other and would be deeply hurt if they didn't eat them all.
After buying their sweets, they visited a few more shops, and then they returned to the secluded area near the entrance to the secret passageway. They put the Impervius Charm on their newly purchased blanket and spread it on the ground by a couple of snow-covered trees. With their drinks and snacks from the Three Broomsticks and Honeydukes, they settled down to enjoy their picnic.
They spent a splendid afternoon there on their blanket in the middle of the snowy countryside. It was nice to be out of Hogwarts for a while, but for Hermione it was even better to be close to Remus again, to be able to make up for all the time they'd had to maintain their distance this past week. She was grateful for their kisses, which tasted delectably like chocolate from the sweets they were eating, and she snuggled close to him and his warmth as evening approached. Sitting by his side with her head on his shoulder and looking out at the gorgeous view before them, Hermione felt perfectly content.
So when he told her it was time for them to return to the castle, she wasn't eager to leave.
"It's nearly dinnertime and I think the teachers will be suspicious if we miss two meals in a row."
"You're right," Hermione agreed reluctantly. "We should go."
They began to gather their things.
"Oh, I almost forgot," Remus said when he picked up his bag of sweets from Honeydukes. "I have a gift…"
"You didn't really get me those Cockroach Clusters, did you?"
Remus laughed at Hermione's repulsed expression, but what he pulled from his bag was not one of their unsavory finds.
"For you," he said, offering her a chocolate rose.
A strange sense of déjà vu stole over Hermione as she took his gift...
"Thank you, Remus. It's lovely."
He turned to gather the rest of their things while she stared down at the chocolate rose in her hands. She was frowning slightly, bothered by this peculiar feeling that had overcome her. It was like having a word on the tip of your tongue but it remaining stubbornly and frustratingly elusive.
Then, quite suddenly, the memory rushed back to Hermione.
A couple of hours later, Hermione burst into Dumbledore's office.
"Professor—"
Dumbledore, who had been toying with a small, silver contraption in his hands and pacing, turned around in surprise to face the anxious Hermione.
"What is it, Miss Granger?"
"Professor, I remember how I was sent back in time! I remember what happened!"
A/N: A little cliffhanger for you :)
I must admit I'm a bit terrified every time I post a new chapter because I'm not used to anyone besides me reading my writing. Your comments, though, encourage me and give me confidence, so thank you to each of you lovely reviewers. Thank you also to everyone who has favorited and followed and read this far. I'll do my best to update the next chapters more quickly than these last two. Part one of this story will be coming to an end soon...