Chapter 3:

2 Years Ago

I ran next to Dimitri, both of us in silence, as we both took the time to enjoy our morning run. Usually I would be blabbing about silly high school things, while Dimitri smiled at my antics, but this time things were different. It was our first official training session back together since the incident in Spokane. Ever since I received my marks for the two Strigoi kills I felt even more determined to focus on my training. What happened to Mason was something I never wanted to happen to one of my friends again.

We finished up our last lap and soon were back in the gym. I took a long drink of water and started stretching out my legs before practice techniques. Dimitri kept eying me carefully to make sure I was in an okay mental state to train. He didn't know how to comfort me without overstepping the mentor and student boundaries we needed to continue to maintain, even though I desperately just wanted more with him. Of course, I would be the one to end up in a forbidden love.

"This is the longest you have ever been quiet," noted Dimitri, as he grabbed a few pieces of equipment out of one of the storage rooms. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just need to focus more on training." I swung a few punches at the punching bag, not breaking my focus to Dimitri hovering in the background.

He stared at me concerned at first, but then his face softened. "You killed two Strigoi by decapitation, something that the majority of guardians have never accomplished. I do not think you need to train harder."

I ignored him, punching the bag even harder and letting the anger from the incident rise. "Then why don't I feel like I'm good enough?" I shouted, causing Dimitri to be startled at my sudden outburst. He walked over to me and quickly grabbed the punching bag telling me that was enough.

Not fazed by this, I started pacing and running my hands through my hair. "I look around at my classmates who have so much confidence and yet I feel so weak. I'm the only one who has additional training sessions morning and evening on top of my guardian classes and yet, I don't feel like I'm prepared," I stated, with my voice shaking.

I saw him deep in thought, as he looked at me with concern. "No matter how hard you train you will never feel that you are fully prepared. Your classmates have confidence because they have only ever practiced on each other and other guardians. Their perspective and confidence will change once they face their first Strigoi."

"They talk about me when I'm not around. They bring up Mason and how I failed to save him," I said, pushing away any tears that were beginning to form.

Dimitri walked closer to me, once again taking the student and mentor boundaries into consideration. "They can't relate to what you are going through right now, Rose. Your first kills and the person who you killed for you will never forget. Don't let them get to you."

I failed to drop my emotions, as I ignored what he said. "The guilt eats away at me every time I'm in class. I stare at the empty seat that next to me and realize that he is supposed to be here. We were supposed to graduate together and rank top in our class. That is never going to happen now because of my stupidity," I said, choking on my own words as it got to me.

I couldn't prevent the tears this time and they immediately started falling out of my eyes and down my face. Embarrassed, I turned around and quickly started wiping my tears, trying to push away my emotions. But as the more I wiped away at the tears, the more started falling out of my eyes. I hadn't feeling this way.

Dimitri's hand touched my shoulder and pulled me around to face him, with little resistance from me. Out of everyone that I knew, I wanted his comfort. He always knew what to say to me in any situation. It was that connection that furthered my attraction to him. If only I could act on it.

He gently started to wipe the tears away for me, then ran a hand through my hair to smooth it down. I gave him a small smile and thank you, not breaking his eye contact. "Roza, please don't do this to yourself. I know he won't be next to you when you graduate, but a part of him will always be with you. Those marks represent Mason and your last act you did for him. He wouldn't want you to be this way." His voice was soft and silky, which instantly started calming down the flow of tears and suppressed the incoming sobbing.

"I just feel so alone. I know Eddie and Christian suffered through Spokane, but I feel I suffered differently. Christian and Eddie were one of the first people out of the house, then I had to be the last one. I saw Mason's neck snap, no one else did. I had to be the one to kill the Strigoi, with no silver stake near. I was alone."

"You were so brave, Roza, so brave."

"At one point during my capture I remembered thinking, if this is going to be it I wanted you to know that I love you and that I hoped I wouldn't disappoint you with what I did."

Silence spread between us as we stared intensely into each other's eyes. The look in his eyes told me that he wanted to kiss me, but I knew that it would be too dangerous to do that. We were both going to be Lissa's guardians, there wasn't a way that we could make this work, we had already established it. It was painfully hard to need comfort from the person you loved, but not be able to get anything in return. Falling out of love with him seemed impossible, especially since being around him strengthened every bit of affection I had towards him.

As silence spread between us, he placed both hands on either side of my face looking directly into my eyes. "I will always be here for you. You don't know how proud I will be standing there when you pass your final exam and then get your promise mark."

"Promise me?" I whispered. "I want you there to calm me down and give me your last words of Zen wisdom. I know I always complain about them but— "

He smiled at me and pulled me into a warm hug. "I'll always be there for you no matter what happens, Roza. I will do anything I can to ensure you won't feel any more pain. I promise that I'll be there."

I suddenly felt at ease, as I rested my head against his chest. The sense of his touch and his scent intoxicated me and I didn't want to let go. I thought he would pull away from me and resume training, but instead we stood there for minutes wordlessly. This moment was something that I would remember forever, regardless of what the future had in store.

Present Day:

"Guardian Hathaway, Guardian Periweather, what a pleasure to have you back here," Alberta greeted happily, as we walked closer to them. "I know you are well aware of the timing and arrangement of the stay and the departure, so please enjoy yourself here. We appreciate the last-minute arrangements you made to help with the trip to Court."

We both gave her a warm hug and I switched my gaze to Eddie, then briefly at Dimitri. What happened to Dimitri's transfer to St. Basil's? What happened to him wanting to get away from America and me? Even though I was past the heartbreak, I still had no desire to see him again. This appearance better be temporary and meaningless.

"Hathaway, good to see you on your battle grounds again," said Eddie, with a crooked smile. He walked over to me and gave me a tight hug. "I didn't know how to tell you he would be here. I didn't see that it would be a problem since you would only be here for half a day," He murmured into my ear.

I pulled away from the hug, not replying to Eddie. Yeah, I was kind of angry that he failed to mention that Dimitri was back. I knew he didn't know how to approach the subject matter, since in the past it was always a sensitive one, but I thought he would at least give me a heads up. I'm sure I had come across as a complete idiot on the runway just moments ago, as I stared with my mouth open. God, how embarrassing.

Wanting to get away from this awkward greeting to collect my thoughts, I quickly turned to Alberta. "I have a slight headache that I think I need to sleep off. Is there a spare room I could temporarily use, Guardian Petrova?" I asked politely, ignoring Eddie's look. He definitely knew I was lying, considering that I had not had headaches for a substantial amount of time. Ever since Lissa gave me some Spirit infused jewelry, my headaches and visions had vanished.

"Yes of course, I grabbed a set of keys just in case you needed a place to stay for the day," Alberta said pulling a room key out of her pocket. "Be ready to go around four o'clock, we will meet on the runway again with Jill."

"Thank you," I said quickly walking away from everyone towards the guardian's building, deliberately ignoring Dimitri.

The fresh Montana air felt good against my skin and part of me felt like I had returned home. Growing up in Montana since I was a toddler certainly made this campus feel like home. Others never saw it that way, but I always did. The long summers running around the mostly empty campus were the best. As a result, I had learned all of the shortcuts and even some of the secret guardian tunnels, thanks to convincing Alberta.

"Rose, wait up," a sharp Russian voice said, interrupting my thoughts. I could hear the crunch in the snow as he ran to catch up with me.

I groaned knowing I couldn't escape this one. "Guardian Belikov, I would like to get some rest," I said, not bothering to slow down my pace.

"I know you're surprised, but I am just as equally surprised at seeing you. As you're well aware, the academy lost several guardians last month. It was imperative that they replenished some of the numbers and when Guardian Petrova called me to offer me a position back at St. Vlad's I agreed. I didn't think I would see you again."

"Why were you waiting for the plane then? What are you trying to accomplish here? You wanted nothing to do with me, Dimitri. I'm just trying to respect your wishes."

"I was speaking with Alberta, when she was on her way to greet you, about a student I agreed to mentor. She got into trouble the other day with a few other Dhampirs and I- "

I stopped and stared at him in disbelief. "Oh, so looks like you're repeating the pattern. Mentor a female student who tends to get in trouble, fall in love, fuck her in an old cabin on campus, then break her heart."

"Rose, I don't think it is fair for you to assume anything. She is nothing like you and I would never do that with another student again. I think we both learned our lesson there."

Rolling my eyes, I started picking up the pace, but I knew his long legs would easily catch up with me again. I knew it was unfair to assume that this new girl would be a repeat of me and him, but I knew it was out of jealously. I always thought I would be Dimitri's first and last student that he mentored. We made plans for him to guard someone at Court, while I was with Lissa. We would be an epic love story that my mind couldn't help but fantasize. Too bad that was all over.

"Please listen to me, Roza, please," He pleaded, grabbing ahold of my arm and stopping me in the tracks. He stepped in front of me staring into me with those beautiful deep brown eyes that I always loved. "I meant what I said a year ago when I told you goodbye. That there would never be another Rose Hathaway."

I closed my eyes, temporarily breaking eye contact. I pushed back any sort of feeling knowing that I couldn't fall back into that hurt I felt. "You have told me that twice and yet your feelings have changed."

He was hesitant in his response. "Have yours?"

What was I going to say to that? Any feelings I had left for him I buried deep within me the past few months. I adjusted to life without him, hell, I could even say I was genuinely happy. He was right in some ways about leaving me and not giving a relationship a true chance. It was what was best for us and it took me a long time to understand.

"My answer will not make a difference," I said. I took a deep breath and looked him directly in the eyes. "I don't love you, I don't like you, and I certainly don't want to be around you." I quickly yanked my arm out of his light grip.

Ouch. His body tensed as soon as I spoke his words. A flicker of sadness passed over his eyes. We stared at each other unsure what to say or do next. My heart pounded in anticipation to his reply and what he would do. I wasn't expecting to be a complete bitch, but the words just slipped out of my mouth before I had the chance to think. I mean when I thought about it, I never really got a chance to yell at him after he said those words. It was bound to happen at some point, right?

"Rose, I never wanted it to— "

Before he could fully respond I slipped more words out that had been boiling inside of me for so long. Ever since he told me that he didn't love me anymore and was leaving I kept thinking back to that moment shortly after Spokane. The moment where I was at a low point in my life, the moment where I felt so alone.

"You promised me that you would always be there for me. You promised me that you would be there to give me advice when I took my final exam, that you would see me get my promise mark. I accepted that you wouldn't be there for it because turning Strigoi was out of your control. But you also told me you would do everything to make sure I didn't feel pain. You didn't protect me from pain Dimitri, you fucking caused it."

Silence.

"Dimitri!" an excited female voice shouted from about ten feet away. "I went to the gym to look for you for training, but you weren't there. You said something about being punctual today so I didn't know if I was so late you gave up."

I broke my gaze from him and glanced at the Novice approaching us. Her dark hair was pulled back into a high pony tail and I could tell that she was quite pretty. Of course, the world was against me and wanted Dimitri to be with some other gorgeous brunette. As I saw her approaching, I felt like I was staring into a flashback of my past.

As she got closer, I realized that I didn't recognize her (pathetic, I know). I never paid much attention to the younger classes, especially since the past year in high school had been complete hell. From returning to the Academy, unearthing the true nature of spirit and being shadow-kissed, to losing a best friend, and hunting down your Strigoi-turned mentor, socialization was at an all-time low.

"I was just finishing up discussing travel arrangements for Jill Mastrano with Guardian Hathaway," Dimitri said stepping away from me and towards the student. "Start with ten laps around the Academy for warm up, then meet me back in the gym."

"I should go take a nap. Tell Alberta to let me know if there is anything I need to do," I said clearing my throat and trying to calm down. "Have a good training session Guardian Belikov."

I hoped he wouldn't follow me after he got the novice girl to do her laps. Sighing I pulled out my phone, sending Lissa a quick text to tell her that I arrived safely at St. Vlad's, making sure I left out the whole Dimitri thing. I would just tell her what happened as soon as I got back tonight, I didn't want to disturb her day at all.

After being lost in my own thoughts, I was soon kicking off my shoes and flopping across temporary guardian bed. I inhaled and exhaled deeply trying to calm down my anger that Dimitri triggered. Whether the anger came from me or the darkness side effect of the spirit bond, I didn't know. I knew that it was unfair how I approached the subject to Dimitri. I knew he didn't deserve to be yelled at especially with other guardians and novices nearby. So much for taking the high road.

"I'm such a fucking bitch," I murmured, before closing my eyes and trying to forget about earlier as I drifted off to sleep.

It felt like I had been asleep for hours when there was a light knock at my door. I slowly opened my eyes, slightly disoriented to where I was, before remembering what happened today. Still a bitch. I rubbed my eyes and checked the time, realizing that there were still several more hours until we would depart with Jill.

"Hathaway, open up," shouted Eddie's voice on the other side of the door.

I groaned and threw the covers off of me, before standing to open up the door. Wordlessly he stepped into my temporary guardian room as I closed the door, letting out a huge yawn. My hair was a mess and I'm sure my breath smelled atrocious. I was no sleeping beauty, especially after I woke up from a deep sleep.

I sat down on the edge of my bed with Eddie standing in front of me. "What brings you here?" I asked. "Stan eager to see me? Alberta assigning me a temporary task?"

Eddie smiled at me and joined me on the edge of the bed. "Neither, but likely Stan will want to see you briefly at some point. He has been prank free for a long time, which leads him to believe every single prank was your doing."

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "Okay there was that one time Mason did the entire prank. I didn't partake in that, I was busy training that morning."

"But who inspired him to do that?"

"Guilty as charged," I said with a crooked smile. "So, what brings you here to interrupt my nap?"

His happy face quickly fell. "We might not be leaving for another day or two. There is an incoming winter storm and it won't be safe to fly. If we wanted to bypass it we should have left hours ago. I brought your duffle from the plane, just in case this were to occur." He pointed to my small gym duffle bag that was packed with extra sets of workout and guardian clothes. It was something that we were always told to do when we were doing trips, just in case. I had completely forgot about it as soon as I saw Dimitri.

"Great," I sarcastically said, not looking forward to being around Dimitri for a few more days. "Do you have a shift schedule for me?" I knew I would be automatically assigned some simple guardian duties since I would be trapped for a few days. I knew I could spend those days hanging out with Eddie and catching up with Alberta and maybe even playing a few pranks on Stan for old time's sake.

"Alberta is rearranging the schedule now to add you and Meredith into it. She contacted Guardian Steele and Lissa to let them know about the delay." He looked down at his hands, looking slightly guilty. "Listen, Rose about Guardian Belikov . . . I didn't know how to tell you that he had a position back at St. Vlad's. When the arrangements were made for you and Meredith to come, I didn't think you would even cross paths during your short trip. I— "

I held up my hand, gesturing to him to stop talking. "Let's just not mention him anymore. I already did a bitchy, immature thing today when I saw him and I don't want to relive that."

"Deal," He said, with a crooked smile.

A few moments of silence passed and I could feel my stomach growling, demanding for food. "Well, Eddie how about we go stuff our faces with food and make the best out of it?" I smiled. He quickly agreed and I threw on my shoes and grabbed my heavy winter coat, feeling even more hungry as I stood up.

Author's Note:

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The love and support I received on my previous two chapters has made me so happy and motivated me to continue writing. Next week is finals for me, so that will hold a higher importance (although, I don't want it to) so I will try to get up one or two chapters. Once finals are over I think I will have a Monday, Wednesday, Friday posting schedule. Let me know what you think! I love hearing from you guys. :)

Mini Preview for Chapter 4:

"Are you finally happy?"

Clearing my throat, I remade eye contact with his deep brown eyes. "Yes, I am happy. Are you?"