Chapter 5:

Michonne felt as if her heart was going to beat right out of her chest.

She refused to let her relationship with Rick continue the way it had been, and in her mind, this was the only chance she had left to reach some sort of truce between them.

He looked towards his windshield, rubbing the back of his neck, "Is this something you wanna talk about now?"

She almost frowned, "Don't you?"

"We had all day. It's late now and I have to get my car-"

"Why don't you just come out and say you don't want to talk about it? Why don't you just say that you don't care how things are?" She snapped, her emotions fuelling the outburst.

His groaned as he ran his hands over his face, "No, I don't want to talk about it. I don't. I know exactly how this talk will end and I just…"

"What does that mean? How will it end?", She pressed, her brows knitting together at his admission.

"You know it to. I know you do-"

"Do you still think something happened in Savannah?"

He clenched his jaw as he glanced at her, "You said nothing did, right?"

"Nothing happened! I fell asleep on their bed, I didn't know Jess went out after and Trevor was asleep on the couch when I woke up! We both just slept!"

"...I just don't understand how you could go over there in the first place. You couldn't stand me that much that you would rather stay with strangers-"

She nearly growled, "I got drunk. I wasn't thinking like that, I just wanted to hang out-"

"With someone that wasn't me?"

"With someone else. Yes. For one night in all the nights we've been together, I just wanted a little break. I'm sorry for that"

"There it is…", He smirked, peering out through windshield.

"There what is, Rick? I don't understand why that one night is even an issue anymore! I feel like you're just holding on to that one thing to make me feel guilty about not clinging to you-"

"This is what I was talking about", He waved his finger between the two of them, "This. This is what I didn't want"

"We're talking-"

"It starts off as just talking, but then we're gonna argue, and then argument won't get us anywhere, so we'll realise that the problem is us. It's you and me, together. We don't work outside of our own little bubble because there's all these different things, that neither of us can control, just waiting to pop it."

Michonne watched him with stunned eyes.

"We worked when we were kids. We worked in middle school and high school, but now? Now… we don't. Neither of our plans work for us, and I've tried, you know I have, I've tried for so long to find a way for us, but the truth is, it just won't… and I think you know that as much as I do… that's why thangs have been the way they have between us"

She wasn't sure if her heart was beating so fast that she could no longer feel it, or if it had stopped beating entirely, but she did know that she was on the verge of tears, "So that's it?"

"Am I wrong?", His focus didn't leave the dashboard, though he raised one of his brows with the question.

She sat back in the seat, peering out the windshield with glistening eyes, her mouth agape with shock. She wasn't naive, she knew that their relationship hadn't been on solid ground for a sometime, but his dismissive attitude tore through her like a searing hot blade, "So that's it."

"Am I wrong, Michonne-"

"Stop", She warned, her eyes snapping shut as she shook her head, "Just, stop"

He looked out the driver seat window as he sighed, "I guess I am then"

She sniffed as she wiped her cheeks, "You're a jerk"

His head spun to look at her, clearly astonished by her insult, "Excuse me?"

"You are.", She insisted firmly, her hand on the door handle, "You just… you used to sit there talking about moving in together, and getting married and… but the second it all gets too much, you're ready to throw in the towel without a second thought-"

"That's not what-"

"After everything! After all those big speeches you gave! It's like, God forbid there's any degree of work required for something because Rick Grimes doesn't like that! You're only ever interested in having fun and excitement, and you want to reap the rewards of all that without putting in a shred of effort! The problem isn't that we don't work outside of our own little bubble, the problem is you're too lazy to try.", She shook her head in disbelief, "If I had known, that this is where you would have given up, I would have never left my parents. So fuck you, Rick"

She climbed out the vehicle and slammed the door closed behind her. She stormed up the driveway of Paula's home, beside herself with anger, but even more so, she was hurt.

"Midnight snack?", Paula grinned, holding up a bag of chips in one hand, and a jar of dip in the other, wearing only her t-shirt and her socks. Her grin slowly began to fade when she saw Michonne's face, "Shit. What happened?"

Michonne leaned back against the front door and slid down to the floor, "We broke up"

The redhead's eyes widened, "No! What? What the fuck?"

She nodded solemnly.

Her friend stepped in front of her and sat down, "Why? What for?"

She wiped her eyes again, "I don't want to do this now."

"Okay, that's cool, here", Paula held out the chips to her, "Don't talk. Just eat. It helps"

It was a notion that Michonne found strange, but she was about to take a chip anyway, when she found herself beginning to sob uncontrollably.

"Shit. Never mind", Paula muttered, dropping the chips as she scooted beside her, wrapping her arms around Michonne, "I'm sorry…"

Michonne couldn't have answered her if she tried. She had a lump in her throat, and an ache in her chest that seemed to grow with every passing second, while Paula rubbed her back and held her tight. Despite the other girls efforts, it did nothing to ease the pain that gripped her, and at the point, Michonne wasn't sure what could.

…

The sun rays seeped in through the blinds in Paula's bedroom, gently lighting the room. For the shortest moment, she didn't realise where she was, and she expected to roll over and see Rick laying on the other side of the bed, but instead she was greeted by a pillow, where Paula had been.

She felt sick to her stomach when she remembered the night before, rubbing her puffy eyes. She could have likened the hurt she felt to a death. The death of her relationship with her boyfriend and the friendship of her best friend. The thought alone made it harder for her to swallow.

The door creaked open, and Paula strolled in, holding a glass of water. She tilted her head to look at Michonne as she walked around the bed, "Hey girl"

"Hey", She croaked back, her voice hoarse.

The redhead climbed into the bed and laid beside her, snuggling up to the pillow, "Feeling shitty?"

She gave a little nod.

"It sucks. A lot"

"It does…"

"But why? What the hell happened?"

Michonne huffed, "He thinks we won't work"

Paula's face pinched, "What does that mean?"

"It means he's going to the academy and I'm going to college so we won't work…"

Her friend rolled her eyes, "That's a shit excuse"

Michonne blinked at her, waiting for her explanation.

"You know how Rick is. What do you think the real reason is?'

Her gave sailed behind the girl's shoulder, "I think he just gave up…"

"First relationships aren't easy. Especially for someone like him. Shane was the same with me. He was an idiot-"

Michonne squinted at her, "What? You and Shane? When? Well I know the two of you… are close…"

"Now, we just fuck, but we did date for a while last year. It was his first relationship too, and he was such an spoilt brat. If things didn't go the way he wanted then he'd completely switch off, or he'd be an asshole about it. I know Rick can be the same"

"That's almost frighteningly true. He can be like that"

"I thought it would have been different for you guys though since you've been close since the beginning of time…"

"That's what I thought but obviously", her voice broke mid-sentence as she a wave of sadness crashed over her, "It's not the case. I think he wanted to break up with me before we left… and he thought that trip would help but it just made it worse"

Paula reached out and rubbed her arm, "Don't cry again, please? You have a really, really sad cry that makes me want to cry"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just… do you want to just chill in here all day? I don't mind. My mom won't care"

She shook her head, "No, sorry, I can't just mope on your bed all day. I probably need to… I don't even know if I should go back to his moms? I don't think I should…"

"Would you really want to be there when he gets back?"

"No… I called him a Jerk and said 'Fuck you'..."

Paula's eyes widened, "That's pretty extreme coming from you."

"I was upset…", She sighed, rolling onto her back when she felt Rocky climbing along her legs.

"You gonna go back to your moms?"

She cringed at the idea, "I don't really want to. Things are getting good with her but I don't really want to have to tell her that Rick and I broke up… she hates men right now so-"

"She'd hate him more than she already does. Got it."

"Yeah…"

"You can stay here?", Paula offered with a wide smile, "We could get ready for college and everything..."

She stroked the feline's head as she looked at her friend, "Your mom?"

"Is hardly home. And even when she is… she's either sleeping or getting ready to go out so… it's fine. She'll probably be glad I have someone here"

"...Has it always been like that?", Michonne asked carefully.

"Yeah. It wasn't too bad when my nana was alive though, I stayed with her a lot"

"...Your dad?"

Paula shrugged, "Never met him. He and my mom broke up before I was born… turns out he was married with kids. He's loaded though, and he gave her money for me but it was more like hush money. I think he's a mayor or senator or something"

Michonne was shocked to say the least, "Really?"

"Yeah. Crazy, right? I mean, my mom's pretty shit, she's never done the motherly things… I remember opening up my lunch box when I was a kid, and finding a piece of chicken in some foil and a banana or something… or she'd take me on her dates… I'd sit there like some third wheel while they made out", Paula pulled a face as she recalled the memory, "But I'm not angry about it? She's just… I think she really loved my dad, and that relationship screwed her up… and even though I loved my nana, she was a complete bitch to my mom… and all her boyfriends have fucked her over one way or another…. So she's just had a really shit life"

Michonne felt horrible for her friend, but she knew Paula wasn't one who appreciated pity, "Have you met the boyfriend she has now?"

"Nah. I know he was here a few days ago… I heard them laughing it up downstairs. He sounded like an ass so… just her type", Paula smirked as she sat up in the bed, "So what do you say roomie?"

It didn't take long for Michonne to consider it, "Sure. I'll stay"

"Yes!"

Michonne felt as if her life was in disarray, and she was floating amongst the mess. She imagined Paula could relate, and she was glad to have her friend, as she felt as if she was losing everything else.

…

"Michonne? How are you?"

Ezekiel smiled at her when he stepped out the living room as she walked into Rick's home. He appeared to have just came from work, as he was dressed in a dark blue suit, with his tie loosened around his neck.

"I'm fine.. thanks.. you?", She asked politely, placing Rocky on the floor. The cat sprinted up the stairs, and Michonne knew she was heading for her bedroom.

"I'm good, thank you"

"Is Eileen around?", She tilted her head to look down the hallway.

"Yes, she is, she just went to change out of her work clothes, we're going out to eat"

"Oh? Okay… well, I'm just going to just have a quick… catch up… with her, if you don't mind?"

"That's fine, take your time, we don't have any reservations or anything", the man nodded, raising his hand to the stairs to encourage her.

"Thanks"

She didn't have the faintest idea of how to speak to his mother about their change of circumstances. She had grown close with both his parents, and she couldn't begin to thank them enough for taking her in when they didn't have to.

When she reached the landing, she tread lightly towards the woman's bedroom, and knocked gently.

"Hold on, Ezzie! I'm nearly done!"

Michonne tried not to shrink from embarrassment, "It's me!"

"Oh!", She could hear some fumbling around, before the door swung open, and his mother was dressed in a black, spaghetti strap dress, wearing one heel while holding the other in her hand, "Hey honey! Come on in"

She had never been in his parents' bedroom, and as far as she was aware, neither had Rick. It was a large room, bigger than his, to her surprise, and it was decorated in a mixture of nude tones, with clothing strewn all over the furniture.

"How are you? I didn't hear y'all leave this morning. I told that son of mine to wake me before he left but, surprise, he didn't", She rushed to the full length mirror on the wall and slipped her shoe on, "Did you see the academy? Was it nice?"

Michonne stood awkwardly by the dresser, "I slept at Paula's last night…"

Eileen looked at her reflection, "Oh?"

"We broke up", she choked out, crossing her arms over her chest to stop herself from fidgeting.

Eileen whipped her head around to look directly at her, "What?"

"We… he… we broke up. Last night. So I didn't see him leave or anything…"

The older woman straightened up, her eyes locked on Michonne, "What happened? You just got back from… you both seemed like everything was-"

"It was a number of things…"

"The biggest being what?"

She shifted uneasily, "Me going to college and him going to the academy… not being able to spend so much time together…"

"That's why? You're not even at college yet? And he only just left today! The two of you have been joined at the hip for…. Longer than I've even known!"

"...Not anymore"

Eileen seemed taken back, her mouth opening and closing several times, though nothing came out. She began taking small steps towards Michonne when she finally caught herself, "Are you alright?"

Michonne shook her head, "No"

She tipped her head as she looked at her sympathetically, "You poor thing. Did the two of you at least try to talk this out? I mean, you didn't even give these new schedules a chance"

She shook her head again, finding it difficult to swallow again.

Eileen eyed her, "Somethan' tells me that this wasn't entirely a mutual decision, huh?"

"In the end it was… but not, initially…"

Eileen tutted, "I knew no good could come from the two of you hovering around each other constantly. It was like the two of you were trying to navigate the world as one person, and that ain't the way to do it"

Michonne sighed as she nodded.

"...And this isn't somethan' you want to hear right now… sorry, honey", the older woman rested a comforting hand on her shoulder, "So what happens now?"

"I think I'm going to go stay at Paula's… so we can get ready for college together and-"

"Oh, you don't want to stay here anymore? I mean- I understand, but you're more than welcome to if you want?"

"Thanks… but I think-"

"You didn't end things amicably either, huh? God. Alright, no, I understand. That's fine but, you can still come around. Don't be afraid to. And I'm still here to help you with college so don't forget that", the woman's large brown eyes radiated warmth as she stressed her point

"Thank you".

The conversation had went better than she planned, and she was glad Eileen was so understanding of her position. While she knew Rick still harboured some resentment towards her for her lack of attention when he was growing up, she hoped he would come to see that the woman meant well, and she cared more than anyone else.

Michonne took her time retrieving her things after Eileen and Ezekiel left for their outing. She didn't have much, and the task took even less time than she expected, even when moving at a snail's pace, so she found herself in Rick's room, sitting on his bed. She had always felt more at home in his bedroom than her own, but she wasn't sure if it was because she spent so much time there, or if it was because of him. She decided before she left that it was because of him.