Chapter 9:

22 Months Ago

It had been nearly two months since the Spokane incident occurred. A few therapy sessions combined with distractions of the upcoming field experience helped distract me from the reality. I slowly had come to terms with everything that happened. I missed Mason every day that passed, but I knew there was nothing I could do to fix it.

"You seem happier, as if you are back to your normal self," noted Dimitri, turning our evening run. The sun was beginning to rise, casting a beautiful array of colors across the winter sky.

I looked at him and nodded. "I miss him every day, but I have learned to live without him. Besides, it helps that people aren't talking about Spokane anymore. The latest gossip is about Adrian Ivashkov," I rolled my eyes.

"He seems like a person that would be interested in dating you."

I shot Dimitri a disgusted look. There was no way in hell I would date Adrian, especially when all of my feelings were directed towards Dimitri. After confessing that we were falling for each other after Spokane, it was hard to stay away from Dimitri. The more time we spent training each other, the more connected I felt to him. "Comrade, you know I don't return any of those feelings towards Adrian. Besides, if I can't be with the person I want to be with, I might as well focus all of my energy in the field experience."

"You'll be fine," Dimitri gruffly said, as we began picking up the pace. "You are the strongest guardian in your class."

"Wow, Comrade I'm surprised you would actually admit that. You always chide me for being too full of myself."

He let out a low laugh. "Just because you are top in your class doesn't mean that you are undefeatable."

We finished up our run and I could tell that my legs were going to be extremely sore tomorrow. I walked around slowly with my hands on my head, panting. Dimitri only looked mildly tired compared to how I was feeling. Why did he have to be so perfect?

"Rose, we need to get to the gym now," said Dimitri, after a few minutes passed. I was gazing at the sunrise, not wanting to leave the light. I hated being on the Moroi schedule sometimes. That human part of me craved for the sunlight and warmth. It was something that I missed about being runaways with Lissa. We lived on the human daylight schedule.

"Just a few more minutes, Comrade," I murmured.

"Rose, a few minutes with you always turns into more."

Ugh, sometimes I hated how well he knew me. Kneeling down on the ground, I quickly gathered a bit of snow in a snowball, feeling I needed a bit of rebellion for training. His back was turned to me as he started to walk away from me, beckoning for me to follow him. I was sore, tired, and for once didn't feel like hitting the gym. Couldn't I have one day off of sparing? Swiftly throwing the snowball at him, it hit him perfectly square in the back.

He stopped in place and turned around to give me a look. I started giggling loudly, happy that I was able to catch him a bit off guard. "I couldn't resist," I said.

I fully expected some Zen logic to fly out, with the unamused expression on his face. But instead, I saw him kneeling down to form his own snowball. Oh crap, better prepare for this. As he stood back up with the snowball I started backing away, hoping to dodge the snowball. "Roza, you really want to start this with a Russian?"

"I'm up to the challenge," I teased, narrowly dodging his snowball.

A snowball fight soon broke out between us, both of us laughing while throwing snow at each other. I loved hearing his laugh and seeing the pure joy in his face, as we ran throughout the corner of campus that rarely anyone went. I felt free, as if no one could stop me from what I was doing.

I quickly turned around, running backwards and trying to aim a snowball at Dimitri, as he chased after me. I was happy that the majority of campus was inside and eating because I truly felt alone with Dimitri. "Comrade, you have to try harder than that to hit me!" I teased.

I didn't notice the tiny slope behind me and I quickly fell to the ground, with my back flat in the snow. Before I could move out of the way, a snowball came flying at my face, with Dimitri giving a deep laugh. Spitting out some of the snow that landed in my mouth, I started laughing.

"Fine, you win," I murmured.

Dimitri hovered over me, giving me a smirk. "The Russian will always win in a snowball fight," He stated, looking very amused.

Rolling my eyes and returning myself to reality, I realized that I was laying in snow with just some winter workout clothes. No coat and no snow pants. I sat up quickly wiping some excess snow off my leggings, suddenly feeling the cold get to me.

"Maybe starting a snowball fight when we are just in workout gear wasn't the greatest idea," I said.

Dimitri agreed, then extended a hand to me. Grabbing ahold of his hand, he yanked me up to the point where we were standing dangerously close. Before I could move away, he did the unexpected. His lips met mine with such passion that it caught my heart off guard. My body tingled and I knew I wanted more than just a kiss. I wanted to be with him.

I felt that he wanted more with me too, as he ran one of his hands through my long hair and used his other one to wrap around my waist. This moment was the perfect escape from reality. But as the kiss continued, I knew that it would shortly end. This was already risky enough, since a Moroi night guardian could be walking by any second.

He instinctively pulled away, tucking a piece of my wet hair behind my ear. We gazed at each other, before he instinctively stepped away from me. Right, we had those guardian-mentor boundaries that we had to maintain. Sighing, we began walking in silence towards the gym.

"Comrade," I whispered, seeing him look over at me. "I love you."

I didn't think he would reply back, but instead he whispered those dangerous words back to me. "I love you too, Roza. Always."

Present Day:

Eddie and I met up later on Christmas Eve, after I spent almost the entire day napping at Adrian's. I had woken up to a text from Eddie asking if I wanted to spar with him a bit tonight, since he had the evening off. Filled with energy I quickly agreed and left Adrian's to grab some gym clothes. It was going to feel great having a consistent sparring partner during the holidays. I secretly hoped that Jill would have a permanent position at Court in a few years, so Eddie and I could always train together. It sucked training alone.

When I entered the gym, I saw that Eddie claimed one of the many mats for our spar. Some guardians were around either running on the treadmill or lifting weights, but none even looked like they were going to attempt to spar. That seemed to be completely normal for Court guardians, which I never seemed to understand. Wouldn't you want to keep up with your combat skills?

"Are you ready for me to kick your ass?" I snidely remarked, placing my gym bag down. I started stretching out my arms and back, knowing that I needed to loosen up a bit prior.

Eddie shook his head at me, rolling his eyes. "I highly doubt you will, Hathaway. I'm not as shitty as you think."

"But who finished first in their class?" I teased, walking closer to the mat. I noticed that he had two practice blunt end stakes laying across the ground. I picked both of them up and handed one to him, twirling my own in my hand.

"Who came in second in their class?" He said, teasing me right back.

I had always imagined me and Mason being first and second in the class, but ever since his passing Eddie had stepped up a few notches in his training. We both realized that we had to take every bit of our training more serious that we ever did. We never wanted that situation to occur again, especially to a Moroi on our watch.

Without hesitation or further exchange of words, Eddie launched a floor kick to me, but I quickly jumped over his leg. There was absolutely no way I would let him catch me off guard. One of the biggest lessons I ever learned from Dimitri was to always be on guard, even when you think you are safe. Yes, I know that lesson didn't really work for him.

As he was climbing back up to his feet, I quickly grabbed his shoulders and kneed his stomach. He let out a defiant groan, but quickly grabbing his arms around my legs to throw me to the ground. Knowing there was no way out of falling to the ground, I allowed myself to fall against the mat.

I recovered quickly and soon rolled myself over, before Eddie could "stake" me. Using my agility to quickly stand up again, I took a few steps from Eddie. Thoughts raced through my head about the best plan of attack, especially noting that I needed to change up my normal combinations. Eddie and I were trained together our entire lives. He knew my style almost as well as me.

Eddie regained his balance, giving me a look. "You got lucky on that one," He stated.

I rolled my eyes, dodging a blow from him. Damn, he was being on the offense and I was on the defense. Definitely not how I was wanting this spar to be. "Castile, you know I'm not that easy to defeat or even distract."

"Not even if I bring up Belikov?" He stated.

That was too far. My face dropped and my eyes narrowed at him, furious that he would even mention Dimitri. Out of everyone I knew, I thought Eddie wouldn't bring him up. Was he trying to mentally sway me from the spar? That couldn't happen.

"Stop fucking bringing him up. I'm fine with him here," I growled at him, quickly landing a punch in one of his shoulders, following by a kick to the chest.

"Then why do you keep talking to him? I swear you spent more time with him than me at St. Vlad's," Eddie sharply returned. Was he actually jealous?

I took a punch to the arm, not letting myself be fazed by the hit. I quickly ducked to dodge a few more attacks and when I had the chance I struck back, only feeling slightly bad when I punched him in the ribs. At this point in our careers, we were used to getting all sorts of bruises across our body. The routine bruises combined with our faster than a human healing really made it not a great deal to be hurt. Plus, if I got really banged up Lissa would heal me.

"I have moved on from him, Eddie. I don't love him anymore and the least I can do is be friendly towards him. He was there for a lot senior year before he turned," I said, through my teeth.

"Then how come I don't believe you when you say that you have moved on from him?" He said. "Did you ever think that was why people kept asking you about Dimitri?"

That made me snap. There was no way I was going to let this spar last any longer than I needed it to. Launching my full attack Rose mode, I caught him completely off guard by giving a swift punch to the side of the face. With him slightly incapacitated, I swung low and kicked his legs out from under his feet. Before he could regain his composition on the ground, the blunt end of the stake was hovered over him.

"Dead."

I didn't even realize that Dimitri had walked into the gym at some point.

I had just showered and changed into comfy clothes, knowing that the rest of the night would consist of relaxation. I was still quite angry with Eddie, especially how he was trying to mess with my mind so I would falter during the sparing match. Why the fuck would he do that? I still couldn't believe that he said those things, especially since it felt completely out of character for him. Pushing that thought aside, I took my hair down from the towel and brushed it out.

On top of Eddie saying those things during the sparring match, Dimitri had been present in the gym. For how long? Who knows. I had made sure to get the fuck out of there as soon as I finished the sparring match and made no eye contact with Dimitri. He hadn't either bothered to get my attention, which made the situation feel worse. He mostly likely heard all of the conversation, with him not even wanting to exchange words with me.

"Damn it," I said angrily, tossing my brush on the bed.

There was a soft knock at the door and I knew it must be Christian. I had sent him something earlier, telling him to come over after I finished training and showering. I was eager to see the ring, as well as here when he was going to propose to Lissa. Wow, this was actually happening. A year ago, it hadn't fully hit me, but now that he actually had the ring . . .

I swung open the door, inviting him in my room. He stared around at the pile of stuff, still with a disapproving glance. As if I had the time to focus on cleaning my room. "Have you seen my life lately, Sparky?" I said to him.

"You could at least devote some of it so you can move around this room freely."

I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, get to the point about the visit. Let me see the ring," I said anxiously.

He shut the door, then pulled out the little black, velvet box. I couldn't help but feel excited for my best friend. She really did deserve happiness and stability in her life, especially since the accident. Yes, Lissa had me and I guess one day would officially have Jill, but she needed the most support possible. Especially if she was going to ascend to the throne.

Christian opened up the box and I gasped at the site of it. It was the perfect ring and completely Lissa. The ring had a simple huge circular diamond, with a halo setting. The band was a simple, white gold. I was stunned by Christian's taste in rings, considering I had barely helped him out with planning the ring.

"It's beautiful," I said to him.

He looked down at it smiling. "You think she will love it?"

"Guaranteed," I said smiling at him. "When are you planning on proposing?"

"At the ball," He said quietly.

My eyes widened, the ball was tomorrow evening. Of course, Christian would be a romantic and give Lissa that fairytale proposal during her favorite holiday. He knew her so well, which used to always make me so jealous. When they started dating I wanted to be the only one that knew Lissa the best, but over time I learned to accept that Christian knew her as well as me.

"Don't listen in on the proposal though, Rose. I don't want to propose knowing that you are there. I want it to be private and intimate," Christian said, shooting me a look. I had the tendency to be nosy and use the bond to know nearly every conversation that Lissa was having with Queen Tatiana.

I started laughing. "You realize that if Lissa's emotions are high, then sometimes I get pulled in without asking for it. Part of how the bond works to ensure that she is always safe."

"Well try not to."

"No promises, Fire Crotch," I grinned.

Christian left shortly, after we chatted about a few other things. I could tell he was nervous for tomorrow and I kept giving him reassurance that Lissa would say yes. I never understood why the guy was always nervous about proposing, especially when you both mutually knew you were each other's soulmate.

Sighing, I grabbed my keys and started heading towards Lissa's room. We were going to do our usual traditional of watching cheesy hallmark Christmas movies, while decorating sugar cookies. We had been doing it since we were little, ever since I started spending Christmas's with her family. Hard to believe that this might be our last tradition, especially if she was getting married to Christian next year.

As I walked into the Royal section of Court, I started walking down the hallway I had become so accustomed too. Adrian had his own personal room down this hallway, as well as Christian and Lissa's not being too far away. From those visits and guarding this hallway occasionally, it felt like I lived in this hall more than my room! As I rounded one of the corners, I saw Dimitri walking down it. Damn it.

I ducked my head down and foolishly tried to walk away from him, trying to avoid talking to him. I was still embarrassed about earlier, especially since he most likely heard the entire conversation. Obviously, I was not able to avoid him.

"Rose," Dimitri said, giving me a nod. "How is your Christmas Eve going?"

"Good as usual, heading to Lissa's for the night. What are you doing?"

He shrugged. "Just briefly saw Tasha, then on duty tonight."

I nodded my head, trying to not let it faze me. Why did I still hold something against Tasha? Dimitri and I weren't together and we weren't really friends or enemies. Instead, we were stuck in some awkward in between.

"I was watching you spar with Eddie earlier. You looked very strong and didn't let anything Eddie say distract you. I couldn't help but feel proud," He said, failing to mention the words Eddie said.

"Dimitri, what Eddie said I –"

"Do you think he is right?" whispered Dimitri, just loud enough so I could hear him. His eyes met mine and I couldn't tell if he wanted to hear that Eddie was right or not.

I stared at him for a while, before looking away. Was there any truth behind what Eddie said? Deep down inside I knew that there was a possibility of still having a bit of feelings towards Dimitri. I didn't know if the feelings were love, or what, but I knew none of those feelings could be as intense as they once were.

I shook my head, knowing that I was partially lying to him. "He just wanted to throw me off mentally because that is the only way he could possibility beat me. I'm too good for that, thanks to your training," I said, tossing some of my hair behind my shoulder.

Dimitri chuckled. "You are the same old Rose, except wiser."

"Is that a good thing?" I asked.

"Yes, a very good thing," He replied sincerely.

We started walking down the hallway slowly, considering Lissa's room wasn't far away. I forgot how much I enjoyed my conversations with him, especially now that things seemed to calm down a bit between us. Yes, it was occasionally awkward, but the awkwardness was starting to not phase me. I suddenly realized I missed having him in my life, but still didn't know how it would be possible. He didn't have my full forgiveness for what he did. Could we forget our past and move on to become friends? Or was that impossible?

"Are you going to the Christmas ball?" I questioned.

He shook his head, looking sadly at the ground. "I would not feel comfortable there, considering I still get many stares from Moroi at Court. I also have a shift halfway through the dance, so I do not see a point in attending. I'll just video chat with my family or read."

I rolled my eyes at his reading comment. Of course he would be the one to reread an already worn out Western novel. "You cannot miss the Court dance for the second year in a row. You once told me to ignore what other people think of me, so why don't you take your own Zen advice?"

"Maybe," He said slowly, with hesitation in his tone.

"If you want people to stop fearing you, then I suggest you get out of your comfort zone and socialize. You should not spend Christmas evening in your room rereading a worn out Western novel. You know the ending hasn't changed, so you won't be missing much."

"It sometimes slips my mind that you can have quite the attitude," Dimitri remarked.

I let out a light laugh. "Hey, I haven't changed that much in a year."

We approached Lissa's room and stared at each for a few seconds, both not knowing exactly what to say to each other. I was the first one to speak up, before it got too awkward. "Have a Merry Christmas tomorrow, Dimitri, if I do not see you." I placed my hand over Lissa's door. She had told me the door would be unlocked, so I could come on in whenever I was ready.

Dimitri gave me a nod and wished me a Merry Christmas, before walking away. I watched him walk away for a few seconds, but quickly heard him say my name. My heart started racing and I turned around to see him a few feet away.

"I have something for you tomorrow."

Confusion spread across my face. Why would he get me anything, especially since I had been yelling at him across St. Vlad's a couple of days ago? "Dimitri, I –"

He cut me off. "Will you meet up with me at some point?"

"Okay," I said, biting my lip. He gave me a small grin, the turned around to walk away not exchanging any further words. What could he possibly be getting me?

I was relieved to be spending time with Lissa, not having to worry about any of my guardian duties. I honestly could not remember the last time I was around her alone and not on duty. We chatted over the Christmas movies playing, while decorating our cookies. Although, I had spent the majority of the time eating the cookie immediately after I frosted it.

"So, did you hear what Eddie had to say to me today?" I said, putting down the butter knife. I licked a bit of the frosting off my fingers, then quickly glanced at the movie on the television.

"No. What happened?" She questioned.

"He tried telling me that I haven't completely moved on from Dimitri. He thinks I might still be in love with him or something. Ridiculous, right?" I took a big bite out of my cookie, cherishing every bite. Noticing Lissa's response not being immediate, I looked at her.

She silently nibbled on her cookie, looking like she needed to figure out how to structure the sentence. I was tempted to use the bond to dive into her head, but I knew Lissa already hated when I did that (especially when I was right there). As great as the bond was, I knew Lissa hated how she completely lacked privacy.

"Liss, come on spit it out."

"Do you perhaps still have feelings for Dimitri? And don't lie, Rose, you know that won't help anything."

I looked out the window, shrugging. "I don't know for sure, Liss. Being around him so much lately has made me miss having him there as a friend. I think my feelings I have towards him are just friendship and care. I don't think I can be anything more with him, when I know he doesn't return the favor."

Lissa nodded slowly, taking in what I said. I could tell by her face expression that she knew I was being candid with her. "I know that was silly for me to ask, but I just wanted to know how you felt towards him. After everything that happened between you two, I just wanted to make sure you were okay emotionally."

I reached over and gave her hand a light squeeze. "Thanks, Liss. I honesty am doing fine. Dimitri and I briefly talked about what happened in the past and the conversation went well, I think. We still haven't nearly addressed the majority of it, but I feel like I got some closure."

I knew I failed to mention the mental breakdown I had after the Strigoi fight. Lissa knew about my anxiety I had after Dimitri was turned and restored. I was able to get over my paranoia about a loved one getting turned like that and I thought I got over the Dimitri paranoia. Yet, I didn't.

"I'm really glad for you," She said with a smile. "I actually talked to Dimitri today."

I gave her a confused look, why I wouldn't be able to pick up on that through the bond. Then I realized that I had spent the majority of the day napping at Adrian's, so of course I would miss a conversation I was completely interested about.

"What did you talk about?" I asked.

"The normal things, but I did ask why he came back to America. He was so set on leaving and staying in Russia a year ago, I was confused as you were on his reappearance. Anyways, he told me that Yeva kept telling him repeatedly that he needed to go back to America. She said that he needed to figure something out so he can finally settle."

I bit my lip, nodding at what she was saying. Yeva had this thing for predicting the future, much like Rhonda (except less shady). "Wonder what he needs to settle?" I said.

"You."

I shook my head, giving her a look as if she was crazy. "Lissa, it is no way it can be me."

"I think before he left Court a year ago, he still had a lot of stuff to process after he was restored. Maybe he finally is feeling remorse for what he did to you, Rose, and he wanted to see that you were okay."

"I highly doubt that Lissa."

She shrugged, as we quickly changed the conversation back to something else that wasn't Dimitri related. Soon enough we were climbed into her bed, watching the end of a movie. My eyelids soon became heavy and I fell asleep, thinking about Christmas. There were presents, the dance, and more importantly Lissa's engagement. I had a feeling this Christmas was going to be a good one.

Author's Note: Merry Christmas to those that celebrate! I did not have a lot of time to spend editing, so apologies for any mistakes. I was very eager to get this up for you guys. I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and guess what . . . chapter 10 will be coming shortly (or may be already posted depending on when you read this). When I set up this Christmas chapter I realized that it was going to end up being 20+ pages so I divided it into 2 chapters, but decided to post both on the same day. My little Christmas present to everyone that follows this story. ;)

Thank you for your continued support and as always leave a review! :)