Chapter 13:

Author's Note:

I just wanted to drop in before the chapter. I received a lot of mixed reviews from my previous chapter. I knew I was taking a risk for hate, disappointment, and anger by introducing Klara, but I would like to clarify a few things to hopefully put you more at ease.

1) We have only seen one tiny scene with her. Dimitri was seeing if there was a chance to be with her. We have no clue if he will reciprocate any romantic feelings for her, but he feels he should attempt to move on. He is under the impression that is what is best for Rose and him. Delusional? Perhaps, but hey he has gone through a lot from turning to being restored.

2) We still do not know the full reason why Dimitri came back to America. If he had this new-found love, would he really leave her for a job halfway across the world?

3) I think of Dimitri as a man of honor. Do you feel that he would allow a kiss to happen with Rose if he was with someone else?

I want you guys to know that I totally hear you about wanting Rose and Dimitri together. This story is going to be approximately 40 chapters, so I have a long way to go. I promise you I know what I'm doing (I have had the majority of the story mapped out from when I started it) and I promise I won't let you down. Both characters have been through a lot emotionally and there is a lot to forgive and sort out on both ends. It is a process that I feel can't be rushed.

All I will say is this: wait until the early/mid-chapter 20's for Romitri. It's coming and I hope you can be patient. I told you I wouldn't wait until the last few chapters to see if they will be together or not. These characters are going through individual journeys that can be brought together.

That being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I honestly think this chapter will make you feel better about a few concerns I have seen in the reviews for chapter 12. I take what you guys review into deep consideration and I did alter a few small things in the chapter for you.

Also, I dropped two Easter eggs in the chapter. I say pay attention to the title of this story and timeline. ;)

Without further ado, here is the chapter. Thanks for the support!

4 Months Ago: Dimitri's Point of View

Klara had returned to her guardian duties several weeks ago, promising me that she would visit when she could. We weren't officially anything and I would hardly call our outings dates. There wasn't any romance to them, we hadn't kissed or even held hands. Our "dates" were mostly to catch up after all of those years lost since St. Basil's. She was a great person and I could tell that she was falling for me, but I still had not fallen for her.

It was still a challenge to let myself feel love again, mostly because I still felt like I didn't deserve it after everything I had done. It wasn't just Klara I was feeling this with, it was my family too. Everyone noticed the change in me and couldn't understand why. No one understood the torment and guilt that I am going through since being restored.

I stood in my old bedroom, packing my things to return to St. Basil's. I had been granted a full-time job there, relieved that I could finally settle into this new aspect of life. I would be able to travel home frequently, maybe even occasionally get to see Klara. My life was turning around, for the better. It was time to accept that I deserved happiness post-restoration.

I opened up my nightstand drawer, immediately grabbing a few spare stakes to pack away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a folded-up piece of paper, unsure how it showed up there. Placing my stakes in my duffle bag, I sat down on the edge of my bed to open it up. I didn't recall seeing this originally, but I wasn't expecting anything to be in there. Opening up the letter, I quickly froze recognizing the nickname from the girl that drove me crazy. . . Roza.

Hey Comrade,

You probably have questions why you are finding this note in Baia, in your old nightstand drawer. Before you even criticize why I am here in the middle of the semester, let me at least tell you why I abandoned school. I remember us talking about what we would do if one of us were to turn Strigoi. You said that you wanted someone to kill you, so your soul would be saved. I'm honoring that promise to you because I know I have to be the one to do it. I'm sorry. .God, I wish things were different.

I know this is ridiculous to even write this note, considering you are Strigoi. I doubt you will ever get to read this. There is still a part of me that prays there will be something to save your soul. I know that if you were here, you would call me foolish for wishing for the impossible but as you know I can't resist a challenge.

Being here with your family in Baia is a whirlwind of an experience. I remember dreaming of coming with you to meet them when we thought everything would work out for us. I know people would think of what happened to us as some sort of karma, but I don't think it was. I don't regret meeting you, I don't regret falling for you, and I certainly don't regret loving you to the point where it hurts. I'm grateful that we got those last moments together before both of our worlds changed forever.

I guess the whole point of this rambly note is to tell you that regardless of what happens, I'll be okay. The memories that we created together will never fade because I know my love never will completely. You are my other half, my protector, my advocate, and friend. You somehow never doubted me for all of the crazy things I did. That's what our love consists of trust, honesty, and protection. I know I will never find that with anyone else because you were the one that was meant for me. I'll try to move on without you, but I know no other relationship will never be as great as us. I hope you feel the same way.

So, wherever you are, just know that I love you and miss you every day. Living a life without Dimitri Belikov in it will never be the same. You have truly changed my life in the greatest way possible. I just wish you would come back to me.

Love,

Rose

Clutching that piece of paper in my hands, emotion poured throughout me. I left her at Court, never knowing the anguish that she went through without me. The Princess never mentioned the torment Rose went through without me. She nearly lost her entire future in an attempt to give me peace. That was the thing that I loved about her, her strength and determination for the impossible.

And Rose certainly did pull out the impossible. I never knew the full circumstances of everything she did to find the way to cure me. I knew that she must have done something insane to get Victor Dashkov out of prison, but I never got to hear the full story. Just knowing her, I knew that her motivation was purely selfless. Sure, she wanted to be with me after I was restored, but Lissa told me that Rose wanted to do it just to save me.

Breaking my deep thought, I folded up the note and tucked it away in my bag, her words continuing to echo through my head. Placing my head in my hands, I closed my eyes in an attempt to process this information. I missed her terribly, a part of me still wanted her. But the guilt I felt being around her at Court was too much to endure; she didn't deserve me. Was I even capable of having a connection with someone again? Was I capable of feeling that love again with anyone? The truth of the matter was, I was scared to let myself fall for someone and to let the love I felt for my family, friends, and Rose come back.

Sighing, I knew that I couldn't avoid sending something to Rose. I had to know if she was okay and that I was thinking about her. Blatantly ignoring the few texts from Klara, I typed out the same message I always intended to send to Rose. For once I didn't hesitate, I clicked the send button before tossing my phone on the bed. The internal conflict I felt when deciding if I should send her faded away from me. Mumbling, I repeated the words that I sent her.

I miss you, Roza. Life is not the same without you in it.

Present Day: Rose's Point of View

"Want me to join you back in your room?" asked Adrian, who was still sloppily drunk. It was well after midnight and I was trying to get out of the dance as soon as possible.

"No," I firmly said.

Adrian pouted, then put his hands together begging me. It was quite pathetic and normally I would cave in, but this time it was different. After seeing Dimitri's look of disappointment in the window, it was enough to tell me that I shouldn't be sleeping with Adrian anymore. It was wrong.

The emotionless and forced sex with him wasn't worth it to me anymore. Ever since Dimitri showed back up in my life, being with Adrian had become less appealing. Once again, I was using him to take my mind off of Dimitri. I knew Adrian didn't care, but I couldn't do this to him anymore. I deserved more than that.

I turned to leave the dance, but Adrian kept following me. "Little Dhampir, come on. You know we want each other." He grabbed my hand, trying to pull me towards him.

"I don't want you anymore. I don't want this with you," I said, my voice growing louder with each word. Adrian looked surprised and stumbled a bit back. I was even surprised at my own words. I yanked my arm out of his grasp, still looking at him intensely. "You still are infatuated with me, Adrian. I still can't return that, no matter how hard I try."

He looked completely heartbroken at my words. I wasn't planning on doing this at this moment, but the words came flying out. My timing with things sucked, but I knew it was for the best. Soon enough I would be far away on a mission, giving it plenty of time for the heat to die down.

"This is wrong, Adrian. We were stupid thinking that we can be friends with benefits," I said calmly and quietly, so no one around me could hear.

I started walking away, needing to clear my head. "Belikov will just leave you again, no matter how he feels!" shouted Adrian. "I love you, Rose, with all my heart and yet you still can't let him go. Let him go and be with me!"

I heard a few whispers surround me and I clenched my fist, as I paused in my spot. "Stop trying to read my feelings, you don't know how I feel," I stated, voice trembling. I continued walking away from the party, even blocking out Lissa's frantic messages to me through the bond.

Fuck all of this. I remembered the moment where Adrian asked to just be friends with benefits. As soon as I left his room, someone else was already at his door. What game was he trying to play here? He was an asshole that didn't deserve me. At least Dimitri never pulled that shit with me and at least was honest. I paused at that thought, biting my lip. Was Dimitri actually honest?

As soon as I was away from the party, I went into one of the less traveled corridors in Court. Sinking down to the ground I started crying, first starting as silent tears, but then soon letting sobs escape me. The emotional rollercoaster I had been in the past few days was overtaking me. What part of going away and potentially never coming back did people not understand? Lissa was the closest one to understanding out of all of them, but even then, she didn't feel the full capacity of what it entailed. She thought about herself and what would happen to her if I died.

What about me? What about my life? "Piece of shit people," I muttered, brushing away my tears. Mom wanted me to be emotional and here I was, but where the hell was she when I actually needed her?

I slowly made my way back to the room, taking off my heels as soon as I entered the building. My coat wasn't zipped up and the cold wasn't bothering me at all . . . I was numbed. Thoughts about Hans Croft, breaking into Steele's office, my friends, and Dimitri weren't on my mind. The only thing I wanted was sleep.

Throwing my heels in the doorway of my room, I flopped on the bed. The darkness in my room soon overtook me and I felt myself fading into sleep. Except, my eyes felt like they were barely closed when I opened them to the sound of a knock on my door. I swear to God if that was Adrian. Groggily climbing out of bed, I swung open my door already yelling. "Adrian, I fucking told you I don't want to sleep with you!"

I startled Dimitri, who was not expected to be greeted by a yell. I covered my mouth, muttered a quick apology. Looking sheepishly at the ground, I could feel my face getting red with embarrassment. What time was it? How was he already done with his shift?

"Wasn't expecting you so soon," I said, finally making eye contact with him. I pushed my door further open and extended my arm, gesturing him into the room.

Dimitri stared inquisitively at my room as he entered, most likely surprised at how clean it is. The few times that he had come to my room at the Academy, he always commented on how unorganized it was. What was with boys in my life and their excessive need for organization?

"Just sit anywhere," I said, immediately pushing aside some of my bags and my heels on the ground. "I'm sorry about that. I completely blanked about the plan to get the file. The night was more hectic than I thought."

"I heard." Dimitri made quick eye contact with me, before taking a spot in my desk chair. He was hunched over in his seat looking down at his hands. I quietly sat at the edge of my bed closest to Dimitri, much like how I would sit when Christian would come over. "Why do you let Adrian treat you that way?" He asked softly, as soon as I was settled.

I was slightly taken aback by what he said. "What way?"

"Like you don't deserve respect," said Dimitri, raising an eyebrow at me.

I shrugged at him, staring down at my hands. "I don't know." That was all of the words I could get out of me before I started feeling a tear come down my face. I quickly brushed it away, not wanting to cry in front of Dimitri, especially when it involved Adrian.

Dimitri grabbed ahold of both of my hands, causing my eyes to meet his. "Are you actually happy here at Court?"

My eyes were still watering and I quickly shook my head, letting a few more tears trickle down my face. "I love being Lissa's guardian, but something is missing here," I whispered, "so no, I'm not happy."

I was embarrassed admitting this to Dimitri, but I felt very much at ease. He was the person that I knew I could tell something crazy to and he wouldn't pass judgment, he would accept it. From the time I was seeing ghosts, to the time I told him nausea meant Strigoi's, and even my ridiculous things he believed me. In this moment now, I could still see he was the same type of judgmental person towards me after all this time.

"What about Lissa?" Dimitri replied.

I glanced sideways, frowning. "She understands me in many ways, but not in the ways I need her to. She thinks that I'm feeling good about this mission, but I'm scared, maybe even terrified."

More tears leaked out of my eyes and Dimitri raised his hand to wipe them away. The warmth of his hand against my face took me back to the time I was at my weakest at the Academy when shadows of ghosts haunted my every move. When the darkness was too much for me to bear.

"I'm sorry," said Dimitri, placing his hand back in mine.

"For what?"

He paused in deep thought, before looking intensely at me. "For leaving you here without anyone."

Those were the words I dreamed of him saying many months ago when I wished he would come back from Russia. Four months ago, I still dreamed of him returning and being with me. I promised myself that after that month past, I had to give up hope. So, I let go of him, I moved on, but then he was thrown back in my life unintentionally. How was I supposed to feel?

Sighing, I leaned forward getting closer to him. "You left for good reasons, Dimitri. Sometimes you need to be selfish in order to make yourself happy," I said. I wanted to ask why he never sent me anything after he left, I wanted to know if he still cared about me, but I couldn't find the courage to ask him.

He nodded at me slowly, but his nods soon turned into shakes. "I treated you horribly, you had every right to be angry when you stepped off that plane at the Academy. You have every right to be angry with me now. I never gave you a chance to talk to me after I was restored, I immediately dismissed you. You were trying to be there for me, I should have stayed and at least be your friend-"

"You know that it wouldn't have worked at that time," I whispered to him.

He was silent and it appeared he was deep in thought.

Suddenly I had a bit of courage and without thinking I blurted out something I had wanted to tell him for so long. "I missed you," I admitted to him. He appeared shocked, yet touched at my words. "When you left me, I didn't just lose someone I used to love, but I lost my friend. The friend that never doubted me when everyone else did."

Dimitri paused at what I said and I could see slight confliction in his eyes. He was still at a loss for words. Shamefully I looked away, beginning to regret what I said.

Before I could think of a quick apology, Dimitri cleared his voice and looked at me. "I felt like I lost some part of my life too," Dimitri returned to me, hesitating to say anything more.

We stared at each other for a while both tense and unsure how to respond. Soon enough, he released my hands from his grip. I leaned back to regain my posture, feeling a sense of calm throughout me. What happened with Adrian at the dance was far from my mind, as I stared into Dimitri's dark eyes. Somehow, after all of this time, Dimitri still knew what to do or say to calm me, to give me a temporary sense of peace.

"We should get some sleep before we leave. The human morning will come quicker than we expect," said Dimitri, standing up to leave.

This entire heartfelt conversation had caused my mind to be flooded with other thoughts, but as he was walking towards the door I suddenly remembered the real reason why he had come. To get the file. To figure out the motivation behind Steele's impulse to conceal the file.

"Wait," I said, springing from my bed and running towards him. I pushed my hand against the door, to make sure it remained shut. "We still have to do one more thing, get the file. You aren't backing out on me, right?"

"Of course not, but it is your call if you want to or not."

"Damn right we are getting it," I said, dragging him to sit down on my bed. I sat next to him, making sure to keep my distance. I gave him a mischievous smile. "I have a plan and I think it will work."

He groaned. "Rose, if I recall your plans were always risky. Remember the scavenger hunt plan for you to get Kirova's earrings?"

I grinned at him, happy that he remembered. "If I recall, Comrade, you were the one who helped me carry out that plan and even showed me the way through the underground tunnels."

Dimitri froze after hearing the old nickname I used to call him. I stared at him in return, also not expecting that to slip out of my mouth. Yet at the same time, it felt so natural to say it to him . . . it felt like old times.

"Never thought you would call me that again," said Dimitri, with hints of awkwardness tracing his voice.

Shrugging, I gave him a frown. "Do you not want me to call you that? I know it's a thing of the past, but technically for this mission, we will be comrades."

Dimitri looked at me smiling, then let out a laugh. "It wouldn't be the Rose I knew so well if she didn't call me that name. Now, what is your ridiculous plan?"

I smiled at him, then started excitedly telling him my plan. He frowned and tried arguing that it wouldn't work at nearly everything I said, but soon came to trust my decision. The entire time I was explaining this to him it felt like I was back at the Academy. I wouldn't realize for quite some time, but this was the moment where I started falling for him again.

Hope you enjoyed! I will be returning back to school/work next week, so I'm not sure how frequently the chapters will be coming now. Also, would you prefer shorter chapters 3 times a week or longer chapters 2 times a week? Thinking about altering it, but I can do either. Just curious your opinion.

Let me know if you found the Easter eggs I was talking about. :o