.: Chapter 5 :.
His consciousness flickered, as if a child were messing with the blinds on a window. One moment he was in the midst of a brightly lit room, the next everything had gone dark and he'd returned to the endless loop of visions that tormented his mind: those last moments, words spoken that he'd been unable to take back...actions he'd taken that had set him on the path he'd traveled. Those eyes...the disappointment in those sad eyes haunted him at every turn, no matter which state he found himself in.
He often wondered in his haze of broken thoughts if this was actually the Hell that he'd been condemned to endure for all eternity. After all, wasn't this just what a man such as himself deserved? Wasn't he now reaping exactly what he'd sown?
It went on like this for what seemed like days, weeks, months...he couldn't tell. Shadows would appear above him, reaching out with gnarled hands, gripping his body and piercing his hot skin with their claws...only to vanish as quickly as they had come, leaving him with nothing but the emptiness and the darkness...leaving so that the real anguish could continue.
The lies, the screams, the gunshots ringing in the air...
It was his own cross to bear. He'd dug his own grave, hadn't he? If he were doomed to repeat those last moments, then he'd simply have to accept that. This was his existence, now and every day thereafter...
Until all of a sudden, it wasn't.
"Doctor! Doctor!" A voice full of urgency called out from somewhere nearby. "His condition has stabilized overnight! You have to come see this!"
What sort of memory was he being forced to relive now? He couldn't recollect any of it, and the voice was not one that he recognized. Everything hurt...but now the pain was not limited to his psyche. His entire body felt as though someone had tossed him into a meat grinder.
He groaned, and was almost surprised by the sound of his own voice.
"Doctor Lowry!" The voice continued to cry out.
Female, he now realized. He was beginning to pick out some of the other sounds around him now. A steady beeping, the scuffing of feet, the creak of a door opening.
"I'm here," came another female voice.
He heard papers rustling. Someone coughed. He was trying to catch a glimpse of his surroundings, but the world was blurry and nothing seemed to focus quite right.
"What do you think?"
The other female sounded very pleased. "I don't believe it...! I was sure that we would arrive this morning to hear some bad news. I never expected him to wake up from that coma."
Just a bit more...light was all around him. He could just make out the shapes of the owners of those voices, but it was bright...so damn bright...
"It's wonderful, though!" The first voice exclaimed. "Especially considering the condition he came to us in." The voice floated closer and the light suddenly became dimmer, allowing his vision to finally focus. A woman in white was leaning over him, smiling as she spoke to him. "Hello there, good morning! Can you hear me?"
He was confused. Wasn't he dead? His lips began moving of their own accord, a question at the tip of his tongue, but he only managed to produce a dry cough that further agitated his aching body.
"Here," the woman said as she turned away from him.
A moment later, his upper body began to right itself, slowly, until he was nearly in a sitting position. The woman reappeared in his line of vision and stretched her arm out. He glanced down and saw that she was offering him a glass of water with a straw, and he gratefully accepted, gulping down its contents until he was only sucking at air. How long had it been since he'd had something to drink?
A sigh escaped his lips as he let his head fall back onto the pillow behind him. The cold liquid was running down his throat, filling his stomach, cooling his body.
Could all of this be real? Was it possible that he'd actually survived?
"How are you feeling?" Asked the woman in the white outfit that he now recognized to be a nurse's uniform.
He tried to speak once more. "I...I'm...good," he decided after a brief pause.
Finally able to focus, his eyes traveled around the room, taking in his surroundings. The walls were white, as was practically everything else in the room. The faint smell of bleach and disinfectant reached his nose. Nearby, he could see another woman dressed in a white coat, currently involved in writing something down on a clipboard.
"That's great to hear," chirped the woman at his side. "You've been in a coma for about three and a half weeks now. Do you...remember anything that happened before?"
He nodded weakly, trying not to call back all the images that he'd finally managed to banish to the back of his mind. "Yeah...mostly."
"If you don't mind, then, I have a few questions for you. Just to make sure," she continued. "First one...can tell me your full name?"
He hesitated for only a moment before he replied, "Nicholas. Nicholas D. Wolfwood."
.
oOo
.
Meryl Stryfe chewed on her thumbnail as she drummed her free hand on the round table she was sitting at. She and her partner from the Bernardelli Insurance Company, Milly Thompson, were at the hospital that Mr. Wolfwood had been admitted to after Vash had brought him there, nearly dead. It was upon Milly's insistence that they visited him every day because "it's what Mr. Vash would do."
They had just received word that he'd finally come out of the coma. Presently, they were waiting for his doctor to give the 'all clear' for visitors.
So there she sat with a lukewarm cup of coffee in front of her. Meryl was on edge these days more than ever. Ever since Vash had left to go fight his brother, to the death she assumed, she had been able to think of little else.
How dare he keep me waiting this long…
The sequence of events kept running through her head over and over; Vash's solemn face after having given up hope on Wolfwood, having to leave when he'd been unable to wait any longer. She'd stopped him then and he had told her…everything, or at least the abridged version of it.
She wondered if she was an idiot to expect him to return here. He'd given up hope on Wolfwood already, so why was there any reason for him to come back…? Meryl hoped that perhaps he might have cared about her. She'd wanted to tell him about the feelings she'd just recently discovered, but in the end she'd been too much of a coward to say anything at all and had let him walk away.
Possibly to his death.
His death…no…was that why he hadn't come back yet?
Meryl shook her head violently, trying to clear away the negative thoughts. No! That couldn't possibly be it. Though he was more than stupid enough to accomplish such an easy feat as dying, she had also seen him fight, and she believed in him.
"MILLY!" Meryl suddenly stood to her full height of just under five feet, slamming her hands flat against the table.
"Coming!"
The taller woman came rushing in from the next room over, where she'd been attempting to get a snack from the vending machine although it seemed that the machine only wanted to eat up every double dollar she'd fed it without giving her anything in return. But all her frustration instantly melted away at the sight of her best friend and business partner; it had been a while since Meryl had looked so lively, and while the brunette was admittedly not in tune to a lot of the more subtle things in life, she'd had no trouble figuring out just what it was that had caused Meryl to become so glum...or rather, whom.
"What is it, Meryl?"
"We're going to go look for him!"
Milly's eyes shone brightly with excitement upon hearing the declaration. She clasped her hands together and beamed down at her shorter partner. "Oh, Meryl! Are we really going after him?"
"Yes, we're going after him! Who ELSE is going to clean up his mess and write the report on him? Heaven knows we can't trust the home office to do a thing about it!" She began pacing, waving one of her arms frantically while the other rested on her hip.
"That's wonderful! I just know Mr. Vash is safe and sound, you know how he is! He probably just didn't want us to get in trouble for following after him! Besides, you have some great news for him! I'm sure he'd love to hear about Mr. Wolfwood!" Her light eyes darted to the door across the hall, where the priest was sleeping soundly just behind it.
"That lunatic, he thinks he can just leave for nearly a month without sending word that he's ALIVE for heaven's sake! I knew we couldn't trust him! Milly…as soon as we're able to make sure Mr. Wolfwood is alright, we'll be on our way. Of course we'll have to stop for donuts somewhere along the way, but who even KNOWS where we'll find him! I bet we have to drag his ass out of some sand pit in the desert again! What a helpless, hopeless moron!" She began laughing with an irritated look on her face.
Perhaps her posturing would cover up the way she really felt, as she was 100% certain that she was going to start crying if-no, WHEN-she found him safe and alive.
Milly's grin only grew brighter as she listened to her companion carry on, watching as Meryl animatedly moved about the room. "Yup, you're probably right!" She nodded fervently in agreement as a pair of footsteps approached the room from the hall just outside.
The two women looked up as a man wearing a white coat rapped gently on the doorframe before entering.
"Good afternoon, ladies. I'm Dr. McCormick. You must be friends of Mr. Wolfwood."
"Oh, yes!" Milly exclaimed. "That's right, we are! Do you have any news about him yet?"
Dr. McCormick couldn't help but smile back at her enthusiasm. "Actually, I was just told by his doctor to inform the both of you that he's been officially cleared for visitors. You can go ahead and see him now, if you like. He's been doing quite well since he woke up yesterday morning...I'd almost call it a miracle if I believed in that kind of thing," he added with a chuckle.
Milly squealed with delight. "Did you hear that, Meryl? We can go see Mr. Wolfwood now!"
"Huh?" Meryl had been entirely distracted with her own thoughts during Milly's exchange with the doctor. "Oh, right, right! Coming!" She followed the taller girl to the door of Wolfwood's room that was now open.
He looked as though he were still asleep. The curtains were drawn, letting in only a little light from the cracks. The rise and fall of his chest was steady as the heart monitor beeped next to him, much stronger than before.
Meryl smiled despite herself and whispered to Milly, "Thank goodness he made it. Vash is going to be so happy…" She trailed off, kicking herself mentally for letting all of her thoughts go back to Vash.
Milly smiled and nodded, her hands clasped tightly in front of her as she took in the sight of the slumbering priest. They both remembered the look on the Stampede's face after Wolfwood's doctor had delivered the bad news; he'd put on a strong front as he bid them both farewell, but there was immeasurable sorrow buried beneath each word he'd spoken. It had physically hurt to listen to him. For someone so practiced at concealing his pain behind a smile, it had so obviously bled from every crack in the door he'd tried so hard to hide it behind.
Wolfwood had easily seen through the facade. He always had. Perhaps because they had more in common than they knew; dark secrets, painful pasts...so different, yet so similar at the same time.
"Maybe we should come back later when he's awake, Milly…" Meryl tugged on her partner's sleeve for the two of them to leave when she happened to notice Wolfwood's eyelids fluttering.
He opened his blue-gray eyes just then, blinking a few times as recognition finally crossed his features.
"Well aren't you two a sight for sore eyes...?" He allowed the two of them a small smile. "Long time no see, I think..."
Milly immediately began to cry, large tears welling up in her eyes as she covered her mouth with both hands. "M-Mr. Wolfwood! Y-you're okay, you're really okay!" She whimpered as she reached for a handkerchief from inside one of her back pockets.
Wolfwood's eyes widened slightly as the larger woman continued to weep with unabashed joy. "Hey, you don't...you don't have to cry, it's alright now..."
At least he hoped it was. He'd been a little surprised when the doctor informed him that two of his friends had stuck around...and that a third had left somewhere around three weeks ago. He knew exactly where Vash had gone off to, and what he'd gone to do... But the fact that the insurance girls were both still here made him think that neither of them had heard any news of the Humanoid Typhoon since then.
Well, that was alright, he thought. It wasn't unusual for he and Vash to go their own separate ways. More than that, though, remained the fact that Wolfwood had betrayed the very person who had become his closest his friend. Vash had a very forgiving nature, but Wolfwood wasn't so sure that there was any going back after such a thing.
He surely didn't deserve to be forgiven.
Meryl patted Milly's arm as she continued to cry, trying to get her to calm down. "Milly, it's fine!" She turned to Wolfwood. "Well I don't know how you managed to do it, Wolfwood. You seem to be taking a page from Vash's book." She put a hand on one of her hips, giving him a wry look. "I'm glad you're alright though…"
He still looked rather weak and tired but he was putting on his happiest face for them, she could tell. She chewed on her thumbnail again as she watched Milly fuss over him after wiping her tears away. She honestly couldn't wait to get the hell out of this town and track Vash down, she just didn't know when Wolfwood would be well enough to make that trek.
"We're going after him, you know," she announced. "If you want to come along, I'm sure Vash would be more than happy to see you." She looked away, feeling crimson creep into her cheeks as she'd just blurted that out rather suddenly.
Damn that Humanoid Typhoon for taking up residence in her brain lately. She puffed her cheeks out and folded her arms.
Wolfwood did his best to hide the knowing smirk that threatened to crawl over his lips. "Is that a fact?" He grunted thoughtfully as he reached for the glass of water that Milly had just brought him, wishing more than anything for a smoke at that moment. He had to wonder if it would really be a good reunion. "Well, you two have a job to do, after all. Me, I think I'll just hang out here."
"What? You're not coming?" Milly frowned. "But it would really mean a lot to Mr. Vash if you came with us! He thought you were going to die, you know?"
Wolfwood sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. How could he begin to explain to her the truth behind what had happened?
"I know," he finally said, his voice laced with regret. "I know that...it's just not that simple anymore. Things have happened..." He trailed off, tapping idly at the glass in his hands as the two women looked on in confusion. Meryl had opened her mouth to speak when he continued, "But listen, thanks for sticking around. Really...it means a lot. You'll pass the word along to him, won't you?"
Meryl narrowed her eyes, walking forward with long strides up to the bed and glared at the priest. "You have GOT to be kidding me! That man saved your life! It's really the LEAST you can do to thank him for it, or would you have him go on believing that you're dead?! That's why he left, you know! If there'd been any indication of hope that you would've regained consciousness, he would have stayed! But time ran out…I don't care what happened between the two of you that seems so Goddamned scary, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, but you owe it to him to at least tell him you're alive."
The short woman panted, out of breath after her long tirade. She knew she shouldn't have yelled as loud as she did and that she was probably not helping his recovery at all, or even considering his feelings on the matter, but she just couldn't help it. She couldn't stand the thought of Vash believing his best friend had died out here when he was clearly alive and kicking now.
Wolfwood himself looked thoroughly scolded and he stared back at her, speechless, for a long moment before a smile bloomed across his face. "Heh...well now, there's not much I can say to argue against that." He sighed, glancing down at his hands. "You're right. I can make the trip to thank him in person, it's...the least I can do."
"Great!" Milly clapped her hands, not quite noticing the morose cloud that seemed to be hovering over the priest. "I can't wait for Mr. Vash to see your face! Oh, he'll be so happy... Oh! We brought your things along with us so you could have them when you woke up!" She paused for a moment in thought before her face fell. "Except for your big cross, anyway. Mr. Vash took that with him when he left."
Wolfwood lifted his eyebrows at that last statement, though he said nothing. Vash had taken the Cross Punisher, thinking that Wolfwood was going to die...a memento, perhaps? Could he have possibly taken it because he'd wanted something to remember Wolfwood by?
That idiot...that stupid, sentimental idiot...
He felt water creeping up behind his eyes without warning just then, though he was able to banish it before either of the girls could notice. He coughed, pretending to clear his throat, but that action caused him to wince at the pain he'd inadvertently inflicted on his tender wounds.
"Alright, then," he said as he met each of their eyes in turn, "when did you plan on leaving?"
Meryl looked satisfied with his answer, a smug grin spreading across her face. "Well now, that all depends on you, doesn't it? Quite frankly Mr. Wolfwood, you've seen better days…" She gestured down to the many bandages that covered his body. There were so many on his torso alone; he was wrapped up like a mummy.
"Your bike is still around by the way, it miraculously wasn't stolen," she continued. "Milly and I were able to store it in the back of the hotel we're staying in. It's called The Outpost, it's just a few blocks down from here."
He seemed to brighten up a little upon hearing that bit of news. "I do appreciate that, thank you..."
Meryl was relieved she'd been able to talk to some sense into the priest. There was no way she could've proven to Vash that Wolfwood was alive if they'd ended up going without him. She'd look cruel, as if she were playing some kind of sick prank. There was no way in hell she was going to be able to face Vash again without the priest. Besides, it would put a buffer between them; something to ease his always-troubled mind. Once the two men were able to reconcile, and she had no doubt that they would (Vash was such a soft-hearted fool that he'd probably forgive the priest without a second thought), then perhaps she'd be able to get an audience with the Stampede herself.
Meryl bit her lip, anxiety building throughout her whole body as she thought about it. She'd already chickened out once, after all. This time…this time she was going to push through all the awkwardness and just tell him how she felt. It was either that or spend the rest of her life regretting and wondering.
"So get your rest, okay? Milly and I will be back to visit you tomorrow." She gave him what she hoped looked like a sincere smile as her heart continued to hammer against her ribcage.
"You got it." Wolfwood nodded back to her, watching as the two of them turned to exit the room, Milly waving enthusiastically as she went. He listened as their footsteps and quiet chatter slowly drifted further and further away until he could no longer hear anything but the steady beep of his heart monitor.
Rest...well, he supposed he could try, anyway.
.
oOo
.
He hadn't meant to become so close to the sixty billion double-dollar man. Not really, anyway. His job from the beginning had consisted of keeping an eye on Vash, sticking close to him, lulling the pacifistic plant into a false sense of companionship.
The orders had come straight from the Stampede's twin brother himself. Apparently, face-to-face meetings with Knives was something that did not occur often. The pet, Legato, had seemed a bit put off when the priest met his eyes after leaving the room, though Wolfwood hadn't figured out why until much later. It wasn't as if the meeting had felt special in any way; Knives had kept his distance, and the conversation was curt and to the point. He was all sharp eyes and cold words and he'd looked at Wolfwood as if the man was merely a new toy he'd decided to try out. Thinking back on it now, Wolfwood decided that he hadn't been wrong in that assumption.
A babysitter. That had been his job, in essence. Until the time was right, he'd been told.
How he wished now that he could take it all back. Everything. He'd tried to make it right in the end, tried to turn things around and take a page from Vash's book of love and peace and second chances. Tried to walk away from that final showdown without having spilled even a drop of blood.
But it had been too late. He'd rolled the dice long ago, after all. There was no erasing the tangled web that he'd woven for himself. No running from a past that constantly caught up to him at every turn. And when he thought about it, had he ever really been given a choice in the matter?
No...there was always a choice. That's what he would have said, that annoying donut-loving bastard. There was always a choice, and Wolfwood had waited far too long to make his.
He shifted his position slightly on his motorcycle as the bike jostled over a rough patch, disturbing his raw, healing wounds. He'd gotten a good look at them as he'd dressed in the moonlit hospital room that night. They were hard to miss; he'd been stitched up like an old rag doll whose stuffing had begun to poke through. He'd counted at least seven sutured wounds before the sound of footsteps had reached his ears and then he'd abandoned the inspection in favor of pulling on the rest of his clothing and making a quick escape via the window. Milly had been kind enough to tell him exactly where she and Meryl had stashed his beloved Angelina II, and for that he was grateful; he was a man of endurance to be sure, but even he had his limits when it came to hoofing it through the desert.
There was a small part of him that regretted leaving the two girls behind, though he knew that he needed to do this alone. They would surely catch up sooner or later as they always did.
Right now though, he needed this time to think things over. To decide what he would do once he'd arrived at his destination. At the hospital, he hadn't been able to get a single moment of peace unless he was either asleep or pretending to be, and even then the doctors would rouse him for routine check-ups, bandage changes and pain medication. The entire experience was nearly suffocating and just to be outdoors again, to feel the cool breeze of the night air as it swept across his face, was an enormous relief.
He never had been one to remain in the same place for long periods of time, after all. His ties had not allowed for such things. With those shackles gone, however, it was possible that a number of new options were spread out before him.
Maybe it wasn't too late. He'd been given a second chance at life when he'd been so sure that death was imminent. Much of the showdown between himself and Chapel had been reduced to a blur in his mind, but he still recalled with excruciating clarity the last few moments he'd spent knelt on the church floor over an expanding puddle of his own blood; the fear, the regret, the painful realization that his time had come to an end, the desperation he'd felt as all the "what ifs" and "if onlys" bubbled up to the surface of his racing mind. In that moment he'd discovered that all he'd ever wanted had been right in front of him all along.
Companionship. Acceptance. Somewhere he belonged. Many people searched their entire lives and never found any of those things.
A flash of light in the distance prompted Wolfwood to squint toward the horizon, trying to make out whatever it was that lay ahead of him. He could just barely observe the outline of a city in the early morning glow. The last town he'd stopped at had yielded absolutely no clues to the whereabouts of Vash the Stampede. All he really had to go on was the location of the final duel between the twin plants. The best plan he'd come up with was to travel toward each of the surrounding cities and towns and gather whatever information he could.
After all, when you were the Humanoid Typhoon, trouble bit at your heels like a playful puppy begging for attention. Sooner or later, something was bound to come up.
It was only a matter of time.
Notes: Mwahaha is there anything more fun than writing Wolfwood Angst? Oh, wait, I know - Vash Angst. Just boatloads of angst in general with this story! It'll get better...soon. Maybe ;) Still, it's good to finally have Wolfwood and the rest of the gang in the mix! Do you think Vash will ever be able to forgive him? Gosh I don't know...
Anyway, thank you to everyone who recently faved/followed this fic and ESPECIALLY everyone who's been kind enough to leave us awesome feedback. Seriously you guys make us want to write more, we love you. And I know it's been a while, but we have no plans to discontinue this story. Though, to be honest, we DO tend to prioritize posting our fics that get the most feedback. Supply and demand, yeah? So please feel free to sound off, what do you guys like about this stuff? What are we doing right? Is there anything we could do better? Kindly let us know :) And as always, thanks for joining us! Til next time!