Chapter 15:

Note: Just to avoid confusion, this took place before Dimitri found the letter from Rose.

6 Months Ago: Dimitri's Point of View

"Did anyone contact you when Dimitri turned?" asked Klara, during our family dinner. After Mama was aware that I was spending time with an old friend from St. Basil's, she had insisted that I invited her over one night. My family, especially Mama, was always very fun of Klara. We had grown up as the two Dhampirs in this small town that would be off to train, to guard. Luckily, no one suspected anything further than two friends catching up, but who knows what Yeva saw or thought.

I looked down at my plate, silently hating this to come up in conversation. This topic would never be a favorite or get easier to talk about, no matter how much therapy I went through. As soon as I arrived at Baia and got settled, Mama had demanded that I go to therapy. I tried protesting and telling her that I was coming to terms with everything on my own, but once Mama said Yeva saw something I knew I couldn't escape. No one argued with Yeva, especially when it came to the future and what was best for you.

Klara reached over instinctively and rested her hand on my arm after she saw my frown. "Sorry, Dimka I wasn't thinking when I asked that."

My sisters and Mama remained quiet, but Yeva cleared her throat to speak up. "The lovely Rosemarie Hathaway paid a visit to us unexpectedly about a year ago and told us about Dimitri's turn. She was Dimitri's student that he mentored and came to put his soul at peace. Remarkable girl, especially with how brave and fierce she was."

I took a long sip of my wine, not making eye contact with Klara. Rose was a subject that I had yet to mention to Klara when we were catching up. What was I going to say about her? That I fell hopelessly in love with my underage student, in addition to being assigned to the same Moroi? It was not an easy topic of conversation, especially when the thought of Rose would stir up some unresolved guilt.

"Why was she the one to come to Baia and tell you? She was just a student of Dimitri's," said Klara with a shrug.

I moved around in my seat uncomfortably. I didn't like where this conversation was going, but I knew that if I changed the topic, Klara would be asking me about it later. Briefly making eye contact with my family, I tried to tell them with my eyes not to elaborate on the subject of Rose. They knew that there was more to Rose and me than just a student-mentor relationship. We never spoke about it out loud, but silence spoke greater volumes than words.

Sonja was the only one who avoided my gaze. After thoughtfully chewing her food, she used her napkin and turned towards Klara. "No one sent her, she came on her own free will. Left St. Vlad's to come all the way to Russia to find and stake Dimitri from my understanding."

Klara opened up her mouth in shock, before turning back to her food. I glared at Sonja, who gave me an innocent shrug in return. As Sonja and I were wordlessly staring at each other, Viktoria spoke up. "I think you would have really liked Rose, Klara. She felt like another member of the family while she was here. I miss her and have been meaning to send something to her."

"You must have had a special bond with your student," pointed out Klara.

"We got along well," I said, refusing to elaborate on more. I saw my chance at changing the conversation, so I quickly took advantage of the temporary silence. "Did you hear about the local coffee shop that may be closing down?"

Mama started talking about the information that she knew, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Yeva's mischievous grin. She spoke up, immediately cutting off Mama. "I don't think anyone would go to that extreme for their mentor if their feelings weren't more than friendship. Don't you think, Klara?"

Present Day:

My alarm went off when it felt like my eyes had barely closed. As soon as the adrenaline faded post-plan, I realized that my body needed sleep desperately. I was eager to take a look at the file but soon was convinced to rest after Dimitri insisted. Also, it probably wasn't a good idea to be looking at the file when Steele was lurking around; it wouldn't be safe.

I hit the off button on my phone, letting out a loud groan. My alarm absolutely ruined every single morning when it went off—at least the sun was shining. Yawning I climbed out of bed and yanked open my drapes to see the sun glistening on the snow. Only an hour before I would leave this place for several months.

Mixed emotions swirled in my head as I fixed my hair and makeup, as well as throw on proper guardian attire. I knew that I would be changing out of these clothes as soon as possible, but I might as well look the part during the departure. Besides, the all-black look was sleek and did wonders for my figure. Grabbing my bags, I gave one last longing glance at my room before leaving. I would be back to it, at least I hoped.

As I began walking down the hallway, I saw Dimitri leaving his room with his duffle bag. I doubt he expected his temporary position guarding Jill to turn into a Strigoi hunting mission. Our eyes met and without him even asking, he took one of my bags. We wordlessly walked next to each other, both filled with emotions of dread, adventure, and fear. It was just going to be the two of us for quite some time. We were going to become each other's person.

"We are meeting in Steele's office, right?" I asked as Dimitri held open the door for me as we left the Guardian building. I was kind of hoping to see Eddie waiting for us, but I knew that he was exhausted after being up for nearly twenty-four hours.

"Yes, just to give us a debriefing and give us the credit cards. There will be a few guardians that will hang around to say goodbye and thank us for going on this mission."

I bit my lip, processing his words. "Have you been on a mission before?" I asked, surprised that it never came up in the past. Dimitri would always talk about the honor and responsibility that came with being a guardian, as well as the things to always keep in mind. He never mentioned the mission aspect of being a guardian. How your ideal world could instantly be ruined by a request from the head guardian and the Queen . . . of course we would have that luck.

Dimitri nodded in return and I gave him a surprised look, not sure how to respond. I could sense that he didn't really want to talk right now, so I dropped the conversation. Maybe at some point during our down time, I could get more information out about his past. I was curious, but also not surprised that he knew more about my life than I knew at his. I was the more talkative one.

We maintained our silence, as we continued the walk across the Court grounds. Through the bond, I felt Lissa's sadness seeping through her, in addition to the tiredness and hunger that ran through her system. Briefly slipping into her head, I could see she was laying in her bed with Christian attempting to comfort her. Even with his soothing touch, she still wasn't okay.

Frowning, I pulled out of her head and starting to feel a pang of sadness. Part of me wished that she didn't come to say goodbye to me, but I knew I had to see her one last time before this mission.

"What's wrong?" Dimitri curiously asked.

"How do you say goodbye to someone when you don't know if it'll be your last time," I responded softly to his question. We briefly made eye contact, with him intensely staring at me. I knew I shouldn't be negatively thinking, but I also had to face the truth. There was a chance that only one of us or both of us wouldn't return. "Don't say that I'll come back alive. There is a chance I'm not."

He nodded his head, deep in thought. "I know. But I have always realized that your life comes before mine if I can help it."

"Don't be ridiculous," I said shaking my head. "You deserve to live as much as I do. I wouldn't have gone to all of that trouble breaking a criminal out of jail to find a way to save you."

"You never had to go that far for me," whispered Dimitri.

I was relatively surprised that he hadn't completely shut down this conversation. Talking about what I did for him when he was a Strigoi was a topic he avoided. He thanked me for everything that I did for him, but he never seemed keen to know the details.

Without thinking, I reached over and placed my hand in his, causing both of us to stop. "I would do it all over again if it meant that you would be saved from eternal damnation."

Something was bothering him and it was written all over his face. After collecting his thoughts, he stared me down in my eyes. "Even after everything, I put you through before and after I was restored?"

"Yes," I replied, "it is the whole principle about both of us deserving happiness. If I remember correctly, those were some of your last words before you departed America."

Despite the anger and hatred I felt towards Dimitri for some time after he left, I knew I was being completely honest. I never wished for him to have a bad life—even though I know some women would have. Sometimes it came down to temporarily putting your happiness on hold for someone else's. Part of this Dimitri-worth Zen logic came from the principles of guardian training about sacrifice. Some people were meant sacrificing yourself for.

I wouldn't call my life unhappy, but I wouldn't say that it was the best it has been. Now that I knew Dimitri was happy, my mind was at ease. It was time to truly focus on myself since I didn't have to worry about Lissa while I was away. This mission might be a good thing, after all, at least that is my forced positive mindset was thinking.

"We better hurry and get to Steele," I murmured after the awkward silence continued. I pulled my hand out of his, with a small longing to keep it there.

Dimitri agreed and we continued making our way to his office.

I hate goodbyes, especially with the most important people in my life. It was the reason why I tried leaving the Academy without Lissa knowing near the end of my senior year. It absolutely broke me when she found me leaving the Academy and pleaded for me to stay, told me that she knew I loved Dimitri and worried that she would never see me again. This goodbye felt similar, except that I wasn't alone. At least Dimitri was with me and not out to kill me.

We stood on the runway, with Dimitri distracting Steele so I could have a private moment with Lissa. Tears were trickling down her face and sadness was seeping through the bond, which caused my own emotions to catch up with me. I pulled her into a tight hug, telling her that I will be back before she knew it and that she will be okay.

"I'm worried about you," She whispered, after a bit of time passed. "I'm sorry I was acting selfishly and only thinking about myself. I'm sure you're scared that you might not come back from this or come back with one less partner." Lissa pulled away from the hug and glanced over at Dimitri.

I gave her a warm smile, happy that she was at least attempting to understand the emotions that were running through me on this mission. "We are trained to do this and face death. No one truly wants to die, but I have to remember that I'm doing this to benefit you and everyone else."

Lissa sighed. "It's unfair."

"That's the life of a guardian," I returned to her.

She dug in her winter coat pocket to pull out a small velvet box. "This was meant for your birthday, but seeing that you will be gone I thought you should have it now."

I took the box from her and opened it to reveal a small, dainty silver ring. At the top of the ring was a tiny flower that was shaped into a rose. "Lissa, you didn't need to do this."

"Think of it as a good luck charm, besides it is infused with some spirit. Just in case any of your headaches come back since you'll be outside of the wards a lot. Not sure how much life is left on your current one." She pointed towards my other tiny ring, that was just a simple gold band. Any person would think that it was a piece of trendy jewelry, not even knowing that it was infused with magic.

"Thank you," I said, closing the box.

We hugged again and this time I couldn't help, but let a few tears trickle down my face. The hug was only short-lived, due to Steele loudly clearing his throat and saying something about how Dimitri and I need to go on the mission, as well as Eddie and Jill needing to get back to the Academy. Geez, Dimitri would pack his stuff within ten minutes at the Academy and then we would be driving through Montana to our first destination. Can't the guy give me a break for once?

I pulled away from Lissa and then walked towards Christian, who was sheepishly standing in the distance.

"Take care of her for me, please," I told him.

"I promise. Take care of yourself too," Christian told me, raising an eyebrow to give me a knowing look. He wasn't just referring to the Strigoi I would be hunting down, but also the fact that I would be constantly around Dimitri. I hardly had the opportunity to speak with Christian about how Dimitri and I were beginning to start out our many problems but knew it was better to keep that personal for now.

I told him I would do the best I could do, then turned around to get on the airplane. Dimitri quickly said his goodbyes to Lissa and Christian, while I walked over to Steele. Giving him a long look, I gave a grin when I noticed he was wearing a leather jacket. It wasn't nearly long enough to be Matrix-like, but it was a start.

"Guardian Hathaway, what do you need?" He asked. "I thought all of your questions were fully answered in the office."

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like the man from the Matrix?" I said. Steele's face immediately blushed and he tried saying that he had no clue what I was referring to. Rolling my eyes and letting out a laugh, I started walking up the stairs to the plane.

I was nearly inside of the plane when I heard a loud, barbaric shriek of my name. I knew that voice too well, especially the slight slur in his voice. Adrian. Oh god, I was hoping to avoid him completely.

After Lissa had returned post-compulsion, Adrian had bombarded her and asked her questions. As he was walking around campus with some of his friends, he sensed Lissa using spirit in the main building. His curious and nosy personality had to "coincidently" run into her. Adrian worked his non-spirit-used charisma, that was great at guilt tripping people, and was able to get something out of her. Lissa never told him the context as to why I was breaking into Steele office, but he volunteered to help. This was probably all in an attempt to win back my heart and be my "savior". Lissa told me that he was adamant about proving his worth to me and maybe things would go back to normal. Out of pure kindness, I sent him a text afterward thanking him for distracting Steele and in return, I got a sexual message saying that I could make it up to him in a way. God, why?

"What the hell is that?" said Eddie, who was on the plane and trying to get some rest. Jill remained passed out on one of the couches and hadn't even stirred. Meanwhile, Dimitri was already settling down in his spot and gave me a curious stare.

"It's not a matter of what, but who," I muttered, loud enough so Eddie and Dimitri could hear.

I peered outside of the door and saw Adrian charging down the runway and heading towards the plane. Steele tried stopping him, but Adrian pushed his way through. Wow, Steele way to show who was boss. I guess he was still put off by my Matrix joke he didn't care if Adrian would temporarily stall the departure.

"Little Dhampir, were you really going to leave without saying goodbye to me?"

"Slipped my mind," I casually said, leaning against the plane door frame.

Adrian began walking up the steps towards the plane, but I continued standing there to hold my ground. He was still wearing the clothes from the New Year's dance and it became very apparent that he was hungover. After publicly humiliating the rich playboy Moroi last night, I wasn't surprised that he got more carried away than usual last night.

Somehow Adrian managed to get up the stairs to place both of his hands on my shoulders. I wiggled uncomfortably at his touch, pleading that Eddie and Dimitri weren't watching.

"About yesterday at the dance. I know that you are under a lot of pressure about the mission, but I thought – "

I gently removed his hands from his shoulders, making sure he maintained his balance. "What I said yesterday hasn't changed." God, yesterday felt like an eternity ago, with everything that occurred. I was truly looking forward to sleeping the entire time on the plane ride.

Adrian's expression looked like he was accepting his fate, but soon the puzzled expression turned into anger. "You think that you can humiliate me in front of my people. You think that I won't say anything about our agreement? How you became a blood whore to get over your feelings for a man that will never love you again?" He hissed, but his attempt to be quiet was failing.

My mouth dropped open, it was a huge metaphorical slap in my face. Growling I grabbed ahold of his shirt and yanked him close. "I suggest you get your pretty boy ass off these stairs before I do something that both of us regret."

"Your threats won't do anything. I'm untouchable," Adrian said, with that sly grin I was growing to hate. I tightened my grip on his tall frame. I'm sure to any onlooker it would look hilarious that a short girl with an hourglass statue would be subduing a tall, lanky boy. I was short but threatening.

"Guardian Hathaway!" barked Steele, finally snapping out of his embarrassment. "Please let go of your restraint and get on the plane. Lord Ivashkov, I strongly recommend coming down onto the runway before I stop turning a blind eye to your illegal substances in your bedroom."

Wow, I was actually impressed with Steele. I released Adrian, but even Steele's orders didn't stop me from giving him a punch in the face. It definitely was not my strongest punch, but it was enough to leave a mark. As Adrian stepped back swearing and clutching around his eye, I saw Steele hurry up the steps that led to the plane.

He deserved that Lissa thought. I made eye contact with her across the runway and gave her a smile.

Smirking I waved goodbye to Adrian, before stepping onto the plane. I refused to make eye contact at Dimitri, as I took my place next to Eddie. Blocking out the surrounding noise, I closed my eyes and placed my hand on the spot on my neck. I was lucky it wasn't scarred like the feeders, but if you looked close enough there was a faint scar. The scar wasn't just from Adrian or Lissa, but it was also from Strigoi Dimitri. Strigoi bites were completely different than Moroi bites, especially when it came to pain. Pushing away any negative thoughts, I closed my eyes and was fast asleep before the plane even took off.

The last time I was on Dimitri's bed at the Academy was under Victor's lust charm. After the night in the cabin, I always wondered if there would be a time where I would sneak into his bedroom to take in more stolen kisses. Even though we made plans to keep our distance until graduation, I knew that it would not have been possible. The attraction between us grew substantially after that moment in the cabin . . . there was no way we could keep our distance after that. Of course, fate had a crueler intention.

I used to think that the entire universe was trying to make it impossible for me and Dimitri to be happy together. After the one moment where I felt truly happy and I didn't have to think or worry about Lissa, Dimitri and I were both punished by what happened in the cave. It was the nail in the coffin for us to ever be together.

Dimitri was packing quietly and I watched him go through his organized stuff, hesitant on a few items of clothing. He held up a blue v-neck shirt cautiously, eying his suitcase (which was significantly smaller than mine) and then the shirt.

"Blue looks good on you, pack it," I chimed in. "The majority of your clothing is black, white, and gray. You got to have some color in your life."

He gave me a look, before muttering something in Russian and throwing it in his suitcase. I knew he wasn't going to admit that I was right, so I took the silence as a compliment. I laid back on his bed, hoping that this wasn't going to get awkward. Instead, I focused on throwing my flash drive in the air and catching it. We hadn't had a good opportunity to look at the file, especially since sleep was a higher priority. As soon as we got to our temporary living arrangements in the Montana site, we would look at it. I was anxious to see what was on it; I hoped it wasn't pointless obtaining it.

I heard the suitcase zip up and I sat up in bed, to see Dimitri finishing up packing his things. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, keeping his eyes fixed on his belongings scattered throughout the room.

"Did you pack every Western possible?" I casually asked.

"Only my favorites. Not sure how much time we will have," He said.

Standing up from his bed, I began walking over to the door. As soon as he was done packing we had to meet Alberta to get the keys to the car. I already asked him if I could drive, but naturally, he said no. Instead of criticizing my driving abilities—which he had never witnessed might I add—he said something about how I'm low on sleep. Ironic, considering he read a damn Western the entire plane ride.

"Before we head to Alberta, I'm going to go say goodbye to Eddie," I told Dimitri, sensing that he wanted a little bit of space. Through his stoic expression, I could see in his eyes that he was sad to leave his room. It echoed how I felt a few hours earlier, the chance of never seeing your former life again.

"Meet you in fifteen minutes," replied Dimitri.

I gave him a small smile, before exiting the room and softly closing the door. Eddie's room wasn't that much further down and I knew that Alberta gave him the rest of the day off. After the chaotic New Year's shift, Eddie deserved a day off. Even though we were trained to be awake and functional for long hours a day, we were still new guardians and working on tolerating little to no sleep.

Gently tapping on the door, I stood there with my arms close to my chest. Tiredness was slipping in and out of me; my body craved for consistent sleep. I was hoping that Dimitri and I would take a full day to relax before actually starting to hunt Strigoi, maybe even interrogate a few. My body needed to recover before I could even think about fighting off multiple Strigoi in a night.

Eddie opened up the door, immediately inviting me inside. His room was relatively neat and put together, but I noticed that his suitcase was still sitting there untouched. By the looks of his bed, I could tell that he was napping still. "Sorry if I woke you up, I thought it would be a good time to say goodbye."

"Don't worry about it, Hathaway. All set to go on your big mission?" He asked.

I shuffled back and forth on my feet shrugging. "Don't really have a choice, but I hope I come back and earn a badge," I said lightly.

I was still attempting to focus on being positive about the mission, but the impending potential doom still hovered in my mind. Maybe it was this constant darkness that surrounded me, which caused me to think these things. Something I need to look into I noted in my head.

"You think you'll be okay with Dimitri?"

"Why does everyone keep bringing that up?" I groaned, throwing my head back in frustration. "I'm more mature than people think."

Eddie laughed and pointed out that it was a funny joke, while I stuck out my tongue and flipped him off.

He continued, "People keep asking because we know how much he broke you. It took you awhile to fully recover and we don't want to see that happen again because we care." I could tell that he wanted to once again bring up me potentially not being over him, but after how that went down last time I knew he didn't want to.

"I just want to be friends with him," I whispered. "I miss him in my life, Eddie. He hasn't been in it for long, but when he was there it always felt right, pushing feelings aside. I missed his friendship and having someone there for me."

Eddie nodded slowly taking in everything that I had to say. He looked at me and could tell by my slouched posture and frown that something was still on my mind. "Something else is bothering you. What is it?"

I gave him a long look, before letting out a long sigh. "There are just so many questions that I want to ask him, but I don't know how. I want to know why he gave up on loving me so easily, why he never cared to check in on me after a year of being in Russia. Actually, that's what surprised me the most; he never cared to ask how I was. He talked to Hans and Lissa a few times, but never once mentioned me," I sighed.

Something dark clouded over Eddie's eyes, but I quickly ignored it continuing on my rant. "I felt ridiculous waiting almost a year for him to send me something. I left him a note in Baia before I left to go hunt him down, just hoping that one day he would be Dimitri the badass Russian God again. I guess he never found that letter or maybe it didn't make him care."

Stopping and looking over at Eddie, he continued frowning. Something was certainly bothering him. Before I could ask him what was wrong, Eddie quickly cut me off and walked across his room. "I think you should know something."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "What is it?"

"Dimitri did send you something saying he missed you."

Author's Note:

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I know, I'm so mean for the cliffhanger.

Sorry for the delay. Stuff has been CRAZY this week. Now that the second semester of grad school is starting up we have to "declare" a lab that we will be joining for the remainder of my Ph.D. program. On top of figuring out that, there was also some pretty icy weather. There was a temperature drop in a single day from 56 F in the morning to 20 F by the evening causing wet roads to freeze over. Crazy, right? So, I had to deal with all of that chaos instead of actually do edit and get out this chapter. Ugh… no delays for Monday/Tuesday (depending on your time zone).

As always, review and tell me what you think! The previous chapter had so many wonderful reviews and it is nice to see new people reviewing. You are all appreciated and keep me motivated to get the chapters done and uploaded in a reasonable amount of time. Keep it up! Woo! Also, thank you for all of the new followers and favorites. Makes me smile every time I see this story growing. :)

Thanks for the support!