Author's Note: The first several chapter are slow moving, but are needed to establish the 'backstory'. The action will start in Chapter Five.
Chapter Three
"Soo, is Mrs. Nick awake yet?" Sarah had gone to the back of the railcar, where Soo had his work area. She approached him cautiously, not being entirely comfortable with the man; something about his coal black eyes made her think the Oriental could see right through her. Sarah had been disappointed earlier when Nick had appeared alone in the dining area of the railcar, intruding on the pleasant conversation she was having with Heath. Further, without Priscilla being there, she knew that the brothers would be talking business more than likely.
Sarah didn't really resent Nick's appearance, but wondered if he was still upset about her rebuke to him at the rehearsal dinner. She had not liked how he'd brought her and Heath to public attention, and while Heath would never call Nick on it, she had no trouble doing so. When he and Priscilla had returned to the ranch, after a three week honeymoon and then another ten days in San Diego for Priscilla's friend's wedding Sarah had picked up on certain coldness from Nick towards her.
She knew that she was annoyed at how Nick had been happy to dump all the work on Heath, but knew that that was a line she couldn't cross. Sarah had always disliked Nick's often said phrase of this is a working ranch when he wanted something done on his schedule. It didn't help her frame of mind that Heath always came across as so passive. So the whole ordeal of sitting through breakfast with Heath and Nick, while they discussed the ranch had been disheartening.
Nick's efforts to include her in the conversation had done nothing to soothe her feelings, as he referenced happenings he assumed she knew about it. In truth Heath didn't share a lot of his day's activities with her, so Sarah had been forced to feign a false knowledge and interest. Sarah could admit that over the last month Nick had seemed to make an effort with her, which made her wonder.
When she had inquired about Priscilla Nick had smiled and replied that she was still sleeping, but would be up in while. His comment left Sarah feeling like something wasn't being said, but she didn't have any idea how to follow that idea. While the conversation about the ranch circled around her, Sarah thought about the days ahead on the train, and had started to wonder if maybe she should just stay in bed too. When she'd agreed to the trip, back in the spring, Sarah had not really thought about all that it entailed.
"Missy Nick, she is just now waking up. I'm taking her some tea." Soo Lin's heavily accented English interrupted her musing. Sarah watched as the man poured heated water into a fine porcelain tea pot, of Chinese origin. The ivory background set off an intricate scrolling design of dragons in red and blue; she knew that it was a valuable piece and it surprised her that it was on the train. What Soo did next though made Sarah forget all about the tea service.
She watched as he took a small piece of what Sarah thought was a plant root, bleached to a beige color. Soo took a small metal instrument, like a file and grated some of the root into the tea pot. Sarah was intrigued as to what Soo was doing and asked him about the extra ingredient.
"Ginger, Missy Heath, ginger." Soo beamed, as he went on "so good for digestion." He bowed and then went back to finishing the tea. A hard knot formed in her stomach. Quickly excusing herself, Sarah rushed to the end of the car, and opened the door, to step out on the platform. She filled her lungs quickly with fresh air, not noticing the countryside passing by.
Sarah remembered Audra, on the train ride to the state fair in Sacramento. Carl and Audra had announced, at the end of August that she was enceinte and due in January. At the time of the state fair she was still having stomach issues, and Soo Lin had made tea with grated ginger in it, for her. Audra had stated that the beverage helped her nausea abate.
The remark about Priscilla sleeping in, instead of coming to breakfast, made sense if she was also enceinte. Sarah did some quick math, and figured that her sister-in-law could be six weeks to two months along. If in fact Priscilla was with child, Sarah's life would turn into a miserable experience, as she knew all too well.
When Audra and Carl had announced their good news – at family Sunday dinner – everyone had cheered for them. Over the next couple of weeks, as the news spread, Sarah had become aware of people giving her sideways glances, or looking closely at her waistline. She and Heath had married a month before Audra and Carl; more than one woman, either at the dress shop or a social event had oh so casually mentioned as they talked about Audra.
Heath had been present on one occasion, and he'd put his arm around Sarah, as he pulled her aside. He'd whispered into her ear that they had plenty of time, and he was enjoying having her all to himself. Sarah had felt better after that, until the following Sunday, when after dinner Victoria had invited her to go for a walk in the garden. Wanting to make an effort with Heath's mother she had gone along; at first the conversation at been about the late summer blooms.
Victoria had then shifted the subject, talking about the early years of her marriage to Tom. Sarah thought this was just an older woman reminiscing, until she offered, in a low voice, that she and Tom had been married for almost five years before Jarrod was born. The idea of Victoria sharing this piece of person information should have been touching, but instead Sarah only wondered where the confidence was coming from.
Had Heath said something to his mother, about what people were saying in town? If so Sarah would be upset that he was having private talks with his mother about them. Victoria must have realized what Sarah was thinking, because she went on to explain that she'd shared the fact with Sarah, in case the young woman was concerned. The older woman said that when she was in that situation it hadn't bothered her, because she was busy helping Tom with his business.
Other people though, Victoria went on, were very concerned for her, which she'd found tiresome. Sarah smiled in reassurance, understanding that he mother-in-law was just trying to be kind. By then they were back at the house, which thankfully ended the discussion.
Sarah recalled all that, and sighed heavily because she knew that if Priscilla was with child, once it was announced the scrutiny would start all over again. What no one knew, even Heath, was that Sarah had no interest in having a baby. When she first married she'd not given it a great deal of thought; by the second month of her marriage that had changed.
When she and Heath returned from their honeymoon, she'd tried to be a good wife, doing things at the house and having food waiting for him when he came home. By the second week though the isolation was making her climb wall the walls. She'd grown up in a town house in a bustling city, with people always around. Yes, she'd hired someone to do the housework, and could probably hire someone to cook also. However, that still left her living in a house in the middle of nowhere.
She knew that the big house was a little over a mile as the crow flew, but the way her house was situated, it might as well have been two hundred miles. At the time they'd built it, Heath had been so excited, showing her the plans he'd already drawn up. It had surprised her that he'd drawn them up without consulting her, but he said she was welcome to make any changes she wanted.
In truth the plans looked fine, but she had worried about the location, and even asked Heath if he didn't want the house more central to the ranch. Heath though talked about how he liked location, because it felt like they were on their own. So by the second week of living in the house, Sarah had realized her fears had come true. Thank goodness her mother fell ill, and Sarah had to spend time with her, in town.
For Sarah, being back around people and in the shop was wonderful, and even after her mother recovered she continued to go into town. She would arrange her schedule so she had to spend several nights there, pleading business and her mother's delicate health as an excuse to Heath. The experience of being stuck in the isolated house made Sarah aware that if she became with child she would be right back there, confined for months. There was the matter to of all the plans she had for the business over the next couple of years; a child just wasn't in them.
There was no way she could deny Heath her bed, and she enjoyed the time they spent together; he was gentle and thrilling all at the same time. She had also seen how he was willing to agree to anything she wanted after they'd had relations. It was a dilemma, because she didn't want to find herself in the family way. A trip to San Francisco though had solved the problem for her.
It was their third month of marriage, and each time Aunt Flo had come she'd heaved a sigh of relief. Sarah had to go to San Francisco to buy some fabric, but Heath wasn't able to come with her, because of ranch duties. She was privately glad that he wasn't coming, because he really didn't enjoy the city or the things she liked to do.
On her second day there, she'd gone to the fabric warehouse in the Asian section of the city. Sarah had discovered, on an early fabric buying trip that the so-called wholesalers in fact were middlemen themselves. The fabric came in from the Orient directly to the wharves in Chinatown, where it went to warehouses in the area.
She was in between bolts of fabric, trying to get a closer look at some embroidery when she heard the voices approach. Sarah realized that she was hidden from their sight and froze, not sure if she should step out or wait until they passed by. They moved closer and she was able to discern, from the conversation, that they worked in the wardrobe department of a theater.
The first time Sarah had been to the warehouse she'd been taken by surprise, on the different types of women who shopped there. She knew that as a lady she should have been shocked and put off at associating with some of the other customers, who tended to shop together. Instead Sarah discovered that she relished discretely listening to their conversations, which were like nothing she heard in her own society.
At first their voices were normal pitch, but then they dropped lower, which had Sarah tilting her head to hear better. The one woman mentioned that an actress had lost her role, because of being in the family way. Her companion had commented that didn't the imbecile listen to what she'd been told?
That was when Sarah had learned of Madame DuBonnet, and her establishment in Nob Hill. When she arrived back at her hotel she dispatched a note in a sealed envelope, using the woman's name as a means of introduction. Sarah had asked the head clerk at the fabric warehouse for the name; in her note she did not sign her real name. She was sure that Madame only took clients by referral, but Sarah wanted to keep her anonymity.
A reply was soon received, and the next day Sarah found herself at an impressive house in Nob Hill. Madame was an older woman with a heavy accent of some European language; Sarah wasn't sure what her origins were. Madame explained her methods, which included special sponges and vinegar. The fee for the information and supplies was very high in Sarah's opinion. It had been a great deal of cash to part with, but Sarah reasoned that she was insuring her freedom.
That trip seemed like a lifetime ago, and so, Madame's methods had worked. Cinders from the engine stinging her eyes made her wonder how long she'd been standing out on the platform. Sighing heavily, she turned back to head inside. Sarah wasn't looking to forward to the next several days on the train.
THANK YOU TO LIZWARTUS FOR THE BIRTHCONTROL INFORMATION.