"So, what happens next?" Carla stared at McCoy, she was sat on one of the beds in sickbay. McCoy wheeled closer on his stool and took her hand as he spoke. It was a small intimate action he was carrying out more often than not recently.

"People react differently and take different amounts of time to come to terms with what has happened. Even so, you may be surprised by the strength of your feelings. It's normal to experience a mix of feelings."

"Like what?"

"You tell me Cece, how are you feeling?"

"Frightened, that the same thing will happen again, or that I might lose control of my feelings and break down." She wasn't embarrassed or ashamed in front of him.

"Completely normal." He smiled at her reassuringly.

"Helpless that something really bad happened and I could do nothing about it."

"I feel like that too." He confessed.

"Angry. Sad."

"All normal. But we'll get through this together alright?" She nodded and squeezed his hand. "In the weeks after a trauma, you may find that you cannot sleep or have nightmares, have poor concentration or memory problems. You need to tell me if you start having difficulty thinking clearly, suffer from headaches, experience changes in appetite or experience changes in sex-drive or libido."

"Leonard..."

"If you have aches and pains, feel that your heart is beating faster."

"Leonard! I get the picture!" Carla laughed, it was the first time she had laughed and McCoy felt a sense of utter relief at the sound of it.

"It takes time Cece, weeks or even months to accept what has happened and to learn to live with it."

"But you'll be here?"

"You try getting rid of me."

"Leonard! Leonard!" Carla sat up in her bed, soaked in sweat she wiped at her eyes haphazardly. She had been crying in her sleep again. Looking around the room she realised she was alone. Throwing her sheet off she walked to her bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. "Get a grip!" Splashing water on her face and looking back up to the mirror she could see the dark circles under her eyes. "Enough!"

Ten minutes later she was in the gym punching the ever loving shit out of the boxing bag. It had become a routine of sorts for her over the last couple of weeks, wake up drenched, go to the gym, punch the bag until her knuckles were sore and then try and go back to sleep. The last part never happened.

She had been assigned light duties, mostly confined to her office. Technically she was still relieved of her duties but after speaking with McCoy he'd spoken to Kirk and they had allowed her to carry out some tasks. It had suited her at first, the time alone, not having to answer questions from other Officers but now she found herself increasingly upset and nervous in social situations. Not good for a Mediator.

Walking back to her quarters she spotted McCoy before he spotted her. He looked up just as she stopped outside her door. Neither said anything, keying in the code she walked in and McCoy followed.

"Let me see those hands." Carla turned to him and offered up her hands to him, he took them gently and ran his fingers gently over her knuckles. "Go get some ice." She nodded and went to the small kitchen, wrapping the ice in a cloth she walked back over to him and handed it over. McCoy pressed the cold towel on her right hand and she winced in response. "Don't be such a baby." She smiled and laughed quietly, he was the only one who could make her laugh.

"It's not working." She whispered, tears threatening to spill over again.

"It will." He answered simply, changing the cloth over to the other hand.

"When?" She looked up at him as he placed the cloth down on the table and took her hand as he always did.

"Don't rush it Cece." He pulled her to her bedroom and with his hands softly on her shoulders pushed her down on the end of the bed. Kneeling in front of her he took her trainers off and placed them neatly on the floor.

"Do you provide this kind of care for all of your patients Doctor McCoy?" He arched his eyebrow at her and stood back up.

"Your not my patient."

"Then what am I?" She didn't know why she was asking, but suddenly in that moment she was nervous at what his answer would be.

"My friend." He looked at her with an expression she couldn't interpret. "Get into bed." She pulled herself up from the bottom of the bed and pulled the sheet over her body, McCoy grabbed the sheet and pulled it up the rest of the way.

"Are you tucking me in?" Carla couldn't help but smirk.

"You got a problem with that?" He answered tersely.

"No." McCoy knelt down beside the bed and turned the lights down. "You're not leaving?" He shook his head, stroking her hair as she tried to close her eyes. "I'm so tired Leonard."

"I know Darlin', go on, close your eyes. I'm not going anywhere." Carla looked at him once more before her eyelids grew too heavy and before she realised it she had fallen into a restful sleep. McCoy watched her for the hour, stroking her hair and watching her chest rise and fall evenly.

"Then what am I?"

That was the million dollar question.

Four Weeks Later

"So, we all know the score. We're playing babysitter to the Ambassidor and his entourage, for two days. What do you say Mister Spock, can we crack open that bottle of Romulan ale I know you've been hiding?" Kirk smiled at his First Officer.

"Captain, Romulan ale is highly illegal. I would not advise that we serve it to the Ambassidor during his visit." Kirk rolled his eyes and winked at Carla who sat at the other side of the briefing table.

"Duly noted Mister Spock." Kirk turned to Carla. "Lieutenant Collins, I'm looking to you to head up the talks is that alright?"

"Aye Captain." Carla replied.

"Good." Kirk dismissed his staff and watched them all leave. He still felt a pang of guilt when it came to Lieutenant Carla Collins but Bones had insisted that she was ready for active duty. He hoped to god he was right.

Carla stood surveying the room, she smiled at her fellow Officers easily and watched as their guests mingled with the Captain and other Senior staff. The Ambassador himself was a lovely old man named Lukyan. When she had welcomed him on board he had taken her hand and peered up at her with a genuinely lovely smile. There was a good twelve inch difference in height between them but Carla had instantly felt at ease with the man.

"You look like my Daughter, only much taller. We're a small race, but what we lack in height we make up for in strength of character."

Taking him on a tour of the ship with Captain Kirk and Commander Spock Lukyan had kept peering at her, giving her a wink whenever they made eye contact. At the drinks reception she had stayed by his side, listened to his stories and answering his questions. It felt like she'd put on an old jumper, she was warm and comfortable and smiling. Smiling was something she had forgotten about.

"Tell me Lieutenant Collins, are you quite well?" Lukyan had quietly pulled her to one side.

"Of course Ambassador." Carla answered nonchalantly.

"I see a sadness in you that doesn't quite fit." His old eyes peered at her and she couldn't help but start to feel upset.

"I er, I recently went through quite a traumatic event and I'm er, I'm still coming to terms with it." She answered uneasily.

"I'm sorry to hear that my dear, I hope you have someone to lean on? Someone to listen?"

"Yes I do, thank you." Her thoughts went to Leonard.

"It's that aura of yours, it tells mischief that it can play but you are too strong, I promise you that shadowy mist will disappear before long." Carla stared at him, a tear falling down her cheek.

"Thank you for saying that to me, you don't know how much your words mean to me. Aura, how strange, that's what my Mother said to me once."

"A wise woman." Lukyan smiled back at her and walked her back into the crowd.

McCoy had slipped into the reception unnoticed, standing near the back he was relieved to see that Carla was still there and talking jovially with Kirk. He'd been worried about pushing her back into active duty but knew she wouldn't get any better until she started carrying out her day to day duties. He'd given her breathing techniques and exercises to complete if she had felt herself starting to get anxious. He'd given Kirk strict instructions to keep an eye on her.

Standing watching her he noticed that she'd let her hair grow longer than usual. Her hand kept unconsciously going to her throat and he watched as she kept pressing her hair down to the nape of her neck. It must have made her feel more relaxed, having her neck covered. Her overall appearance seemed softer somehow, not as severe. McCoy realised he was staring and slowly made his way over. Kirk noticed him first and waved him over.

"Ambassador Lukyan, I'd like you to meet our Chief Medical Officer, Doctor Leonard McCoy." McCoy held out his hand and shook Lukyan's welcomingly.

"A pleasure Ambassador, my apologies I was in surgery." McCoy greeted him kindly. Lukyan observed the way McCoy's arm softly brushed Carla's as they stood side by side, he was her anchor he realised. In the stormy waters she had found herself in, Doctor McCoy was her anchor and lighthouse.

"Doctor McCoy, your reputation precedes you. Lieutenant Collins was telling me how you go above and beyond in your duties to the Enterprise and its crew." Lukyan spoke warmly.

"Lieutenant Collins often exaggerates!" McCoy laughed off the compliment.

"No! I don't believe it, Lieutenant Collins is a special individual who would never exaggerate another's accomplishments and only speak the truth don't you think Doctor?" Lukyan asked knowingly, McCoy glanced at Carla and she stared back at him silently.

"Yes she is Ambassador, yes she certainly is."

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