Chapter 11: The bow upon a pedestal of dicks

Rose wrote a note that said:

Sergei, We're going to the Galahad Ruins. If you end up getting worried because you think we're gonna do something stupid feel free to catch up with us. Rose.

Then went to the barracks and gave it to the closest soldier and asked them to give it to Sergei. Then Rose with the two seraphim got out of Lady Lake and headed to the Galahad ruins. About a day and a half later on the path back towards the way to Elysia they found a boulder blocking the way to the ruins, so Rose punched it clearing the way and they continued forward. When they got into the Galahad ruins Rose felt the same surge of malevolence that she feels every time she goes to Lady Lake, except much less severe.

"There are some hellions here." She said.

"These ruins shouldn't be too big since judging from what Sorey said it's a place of ritual but whatever's here would be particularly nasty." Said Mikleo.

"Bold guess on what this place was used for." Said Rose.

"Hey it's a very logical conclusion since there is holy water being enshrined here." Said Mikleo. Rose continued further into the ruins until she approached a white bow with a blue bowstring and blue ends on top of a pedestal.

"Hello, what do we have here?" Said Rose. The seraphim came out of her body and looked around the pedestal.

"Curious …" Mikleo started. "This bow seems to be purely ceremonial … maybe this was part of a ritual for whatever's up ahead?"

"You know, what's carved into the pedestal may be a bit … eye opening." Said Edna. The other two went over to where she stood.

"Leave all artifacts in the ruins but treasure chests are fair game so go nuts." Mikleo read. He then looked off to the side of the message. "… Oh."

"Is this advice or a joke?" Rose asked.

"This is most likely a joke." Said Mikleo downtrodden.

"What makes you say that?" Asked Rose.

"There's a crude carving of a penis right next to it." Said Mikleo. "Plus there are other inscriptions nearby that roughly translate to things like: Need any balls Kern? Cuz your mom got plenty from me last night and Daisy and Marcus fucked here." Rose walked around the pedestal.

"Lovely. That's a lot of dicks drawn on here." Said Rose. "And what I assume are very vulgar inscriptions."

"Humans never change." Sighed Edna.

"… That's it?" Asked Mikleo.

"Well what else can you say about it, it's a pedestal with a bunch of dicks drawn on it." Said Rose.

"What else? Are either of you upset that this pedestal for what is most likely a holy relic has been so blatantly vandalized?" Exclaimed Mikleo.

"Meebo, the walls surrounding the sanctuary have either the same things carved in or half-finished murals so by sheer scale this doesn't seem as blasphemous." Said Edna.

"Not as bla- … this is defacing a holy relic! Do any of you know what that means?" Shouted Mikleo growing more flustered.

"I don't care." Said Edna.

"I'm not really getting what's making you so worked up." Said Rose.

"I'm not getting worked up!" Mikleo claimed. "It's just … how could people do this to something vital to their culture?"

"I dunno. Maybe for the same reasons Lady Lake has that gel powder problem?" Rose shrugged. Mikleo's eyes lit up.

"Wait … I think you're onto something Rose!" He said.

"I am?" Said Rose.

"She is?" Said Edna simultaneously.

"Of course! The celestial record has always described that every few hundred years or so there will be people that will feel that the current regime isn't doing anything to help with their suffering or even make it worse. So the people will take to actions that they think will help them feel better about the current situation whether it's going on a drug or in this case defacing a relic's pedestal." Mikleo rambled.

"Okay … you lost me." Said Rose.

"Meebo, I think you're completely ignoring the fact that humans are either stupid, awful, or in rare cases both, and like to announce that fact." Said Edna.

"Hey!" Said Rose.

"While you're not awful you are pretty stupid." Said Edna.

"Oh come on, while I don't know a lot humans I'm sure they are more than that." Said Mikleo.

"Boy are you in for a rude awakening." Said Edna.

"So … are we gonna do anything about this bow or just leave it here?" Rose asked.

"Well with this it might be best if …" Mikleo started reaching out for the bow, when he touched it the artifact emitted a soft blue light. He then quickly withdrew his hand. "You saw that right?"

"Kind of." Said Rose. Mikleo touched the bow again.

"Meeeeeeebooooo" Said Edna trying to imitate a ghost.

"Gah AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Rose screamed. Mikleo looked over unamused. He looked back at the bow.

"Taaaaaaaaaaake meeeeeeeee …" Said Edna.

"Stop that!" Rose shouted.

"IIIIIIIII don't liiiiiiiiiiiiike thiiis pedestaaaaaaaaaaaal …"

"Mikleo just take the bow and make her stop!"

"This is protected by the government." Said Mikleo.

"I don't think they're gonna care!" Said Rose. "I mean they didn't care enough about this bow that they didn't bother to cover up the dicks drawn on its pedestal so I don't think they'll care if it's taken by a seraph!"

"Well people loose the ability to read the-" Mikleo started.

"Take it!" Rose interrupted. "I don't want Edna to start creepily speaking again!"

"This is-" Mikleo started again.

"I don't care just take it and we'll replace it with a tree branch. Hold on …" Said Rose running out then ran back in with a branch about as long as the bow. "We can use this!"

"You're joking right?" Said Mikleo.

"Nope, like I said they won't even miss it, in fact the next time there's a coronation that needs this people will think that due to neglect it became a piece of crap." Said Rose.

"That makes no sense and it still has leaves on it." Said Mikleo.

"Oh I can fix that. Just give me ten minutes." Said Rose clearing the branch off of any leaves and stray twigs she then pulled out a string that was most likely her (and Dezel's) hair and tied it on the end of the branch to make it more bow like. Contrary to what she said it took thirty minutes. "There, now take the stupid bow!"

"All right all right!" Said Mikleo taking the bow. The bow continued glowing in Mikleo's hands as Rose replaced it with her makeshift 'bow.' Edna looked at the bow for a moment.

"Let's continue." She said.

"What? No quick remarks on how this was all honestly pretty stupid?" Said Rose.

"No. I'm doing what you usually do and follow a knee jerk reaction." Said Edna. "There's still something in these ruins and that bow just might help us." They walked deeper into the ruins, with Rose taking up the joke and opening treasure chests only for Mikleo to stop her from taking any of the loot inside as it's government protected and she could lose her head. When they got to a particular hallway they heard hissing.

"What was that?" Rose asked quickly drawing out her knives.

"Above!" Mikleo shouted. The three jumped back as a bunch of centipede like hellions fell from the ceiling.

"Great toxic hellions." Said Edna. "Try not to get attacked by them."

"Though that's unlikely seeing that we have to plough through them to get further in." Said Rose. "Hephsin Yulind!" When she armatized she ran forward and punched several of the centipedes. However they got back up. "What the?"

"These guys seem to be pretty resilient." Said Edna.

"Surging currents … Twin Flow!" Mikleo chanted and two spouts of water flew forward and splashed onto the hellions and they curled back shrieking in pain. A spark flickered in his eyes "Fractured ice, Freeze Lancer! Water spread my foe!" He chanted again casting two seraphic artes in very quick succession. The ice fragments followed by a torrent of water flew forward and made their marks on the hellions giving him the same reaction while Rose tried to push through the hellions. He looked down at the bow then back at Rose. "Rose! Use my true name!"

"What?" Rose and Edna exclaimed just as the armatus wore off.

"Just trust me on this!" Said Mikleo. Rose grit her teeth.

"Luzrov Rulay!" She shouted. She felt a sensation of being plunged into water when she called his name. When sensation wore off she was in her amatized form that almost exactly like her and Edna's armatus except where there were once traces of yellow had been replaced by blue and she had the bow that they stole in her hands, except fancier. "Holy shit it worked."

"Well, don't just stand there let's go!" Said Mikleo.

"All right." Said Rose. As if she wasn't in any control of her own she pulled back the bowstring, as she did so a blue light formed in a straight line from her fingertips to the bow leaving a point in the end resembling an arrow. "Whoa …" Rose gasped.

"Let go." Said Mikleo. Rose released the bowstring sending the arrow forward with a trail of light streaking behind it piercing through the hellions purifying them as it went until it vanished. Rose smirked then backed up and shot another energy arrow going through more hellions. She repeated this a few more times until all the hellions were gone.

"Holy shit … Mikleo that was awesome!" Rose cheered. "If this armatus was off I would hug you!"

"Yes you gained a new power but you still can't remove your armatus at will. Boy you have everything together." Said Edna dryly.

"Yeah yeah I get it I'm a dumb hot mess." Said Rose.

"Nobody said that Rose … explicitly." Said Mikleo.

"Well it goes to show that I can handle myself perfectly fine and I don't need Dezel to stalk me and interfere when he thinks I'm in trouble!" Said Rose growing louder with each word, by then the armatus wore off. Mikleo had a confused look on his face.

"Long story short Meebo, Dez-erter turned into a hellion that we ended up purifying and he left due to some strength bullshit and Rose is angry that they didn't talk first." Said Edna.

"Dezerter? Really?" Said Mikleo.

"Let's go." Said Rose. They continued further into the ruin until they reached the small waterfall pouring into a pool at the end. "So this is the holy water that's contained here." Said Rose scanning the waterfall up and down until she spotted something at the bottom of the pool. She removed her shepherd's cloak and jacket.

"What do you think you're doing?" Asked Mikleo.

"There's something on the bottom of the waterfall."

"No." Said Mikleo. "You're not going to steal something from this ruin again."

"It's just a quick look I'll put it back once I see what it is." Said Rose.

"Rose, it could be a tra-" Mikleo started.

"No let her do this, I wanna see here this goes." Said Edna. Rose reached into the pool and patted around as the surface of the water made the object blurry. When she grabbed it she pulled it out a red jewel with light emitting from it. Then a vision came to her.

A tall pale man with chin length black hair and light green eyes, a dark skinned chubby woman with black hair wearing a brown hat that had a tendency to cover her eyes holding a baby, and a taller muscular redheaded woman were at a table discussing something. The man pulled out a map and traced his finger over routes from the part of the map labeled 'Pendrago' to other places, some of them leading into the continent north of Glennwood or even farther off. The other two women would bring up something that would cause the man to take back his planned course of action. They continued for hours on end, with the occasional stops so the black haired woman would nurse the child or the man would either play with the child's toes or change their diaper. The man took a quill and circled a location on the map north of the 'Aroundight Forest' label and surrounded by a mountain range.

"So this is another Iris gem." Said Rose.

"Looks like it." Said Edna.

"You know there's something that seems familiar with those three." Said Rose.

"Really." Said Mikleo as if he'd figured out something but is just being coy about it until everyone else realizes the same thing.

"Yeah I mean that hat one of the women was wore looked almost exactly like Dezel's." Said Rose.

"That's it?" Mikleo asked.

"Yeah." Said Rose.

"Nothing else on any of them that seem to strike you as familiar?"

"Nope." Said Rose. Mikleo did a two handed face palm and gave a long drawn out sigh.

"Anyway from the looks of it they were planning something." Said Mikleo.

"Now that you mention it … they were looking for a location and a route for something." Said Rose.

"Can we get out of here now?" Edna asked. "We got another Iris gem with us. So can we please go to Elysia already?" So they left the ruins and went back through the shortcut they made to Aroundight forest and after a few hours they made it to Elysia.

"Rose!" Cried Lafarga going up to her and hugging her. "Oh thank goodness you're safe when you and Dezel left without a note and my- wait … where's Dezel?"

"I don't know, we kind of ended up splitting a few days ago." Said Rose. "But I think he-"

"What?!" Lafarga exclaimed. "That's down right reckless of him! Doesn't he know that without a vessel he could easily become corrupted and turn into a hellion?"

"True story." Mikleo muttered to Rose.

"Well he did-" Rose began.

"Oh no that's even worse! Without the power of purification he can't return to his normal form and will have to be killed!"

"Don't worry I became the Shepherd and purified him. He just left."

"That's just as bad! Having been hellionized before increases the risk of turning back into one unless you find a suitable vessel!" Lafarga lamented.

"That explains a lot." Said Edna glaring at Mikleo.

"If you recall I said that I wanted to help Bahamut and being a Lord of the Land won't help." Reminded Mikleo. "You were there."

"I'm sure he's fine. Anyway I wanted to ask like Kyme or Natalie if-" Said Rose.

"Oh god this is not how I planned for things to work out … Rose you need to go find him!" Lafarga panicked.

"We were going to get to that but I kinda need someone that can be the Lord of the Land in Lady Lake." Said Rose.

"Not until you find Dezel." Said Lafarga.

"What why? I'm not asking you to be the Lord of the Land! I just want someone in the village because there's an oroboros nearby that keeps beating our asses to the ground!" Said Rose.

"That's what Dezel turned into?"

"No! He turned into a Behir, there's a big difference! And like I said we purified him!"

"Then why are you here?"

"I told you I need one of the villagers to be Lady Lake's Lord of the Land!"

"Well there's no need to shout Rose!"

"Me? You're the one who freaked out over Dezel and wouldn't listen to me!"

"Sorry sorry …" Said Lafarga then taking a deep breath. "It's just I was so worried that you two left without a single word and the fact you're almost never without Dezel, except when you go hunting or he locks himself in, scares me that something bad happened either to him or between the two of you."

"Anyway I became the Shepherd." Said Rose putting her hands on her hips and puffing out her chest to show off the cape Muse made.

"I can see that, and I assume that these two are your prime and sub-lords?" Lafarga asked.

"Yeah, she's the prime-lord and he's the sub-lord." Said Rose gesturing to Edna and Mikleo.

"Huh." Said Lafarga rubbing his chin. "When Eizen said he had knew someone that could help I didn't expect it would be his little sister."

"Eizen?" Said Mikleo.

"Who?" Said Rose simultaneously.

"I don't know about that but I do know that when I find him and Zavied I'm gonna whack them over the head with this." Said Edna tapping her umbrella to the ground.

"All right, I understand the frustration with Eizen but Zavied?" Said Lafarga.

"That asshole is the only one that knows where my brother is but no one has seen him since the beginning of this stupid age." Said Edna.

"True. Honestly, they could've written to us every once in a while. I mean those two could be dead for all we know. Did you get anything from Lailah, I think she may still be on continent."

"I really only ran into her once, she said that she only saw them once and they didn't give her any idea on where they went." Said Edna.

"Yeah you completely lost us." Said Rose.

"I'll tell you another time, promise." Said Lafarga. "Now don't you have any seraphs you want to ask?"

"Okay, we're going." Sighed Rose. The three headed into the village. Looking at the three Lafarga laughed to himself, and then to the sky.

"You know whether you intended it or not you may have created another … Hellion Incapacitating Squad cuz they look so much like you all and more or less followed your footsteps. Maybe they can fix what's been broken." He said.

In the village they didn't have any luck as some of the Elysians reacted in a similar fashion as Lafarga when it came to Rose being back in the village but without Dezel. Sometimes it was so bad that they didn't even realize that she had two other seraphs with her and she became the Shepherd. However after most of the seraphs they talked to calmed down a lot of them seemed pretty reluctant to help, especially since they were still dealing with Mason's death. Natalie in particular was still distraught over Mason that the three figured that it just wouldn't be a good idea to make a grieving seraph a Lord of the Land. According to Mikleo and Edna feelings like frustration, fear, and grief makes a seraph more susceptible to being corrupted by malevolence thus putting them at a higher risk of becoming a hellion, especially in places with high levels of malevolence.

"Or something like that." Edna would tend to wave off. So they went to every seraph in the village and every one of them somehow didn't want to help due to the risks of corruption or the three felt that it would be a bad idea to bring the seraph along for whatever reason. Though it's mostly that the seraph didn't want to because of what happened to Mason.

"Well shit. We went through the whole village and not a single one wanted to help." Said Rose.

"Well grief can be a pretty powerful motivator to not want to do something that took a loved one away." Said Mikleo.

"You act like you're an expert on this Meebo." Said Edna, unimpressed.

"I'm not."

"Well nice to see that you have some sense of humility." She said twirling her umbrella.

"Ugh … anyway we probably shouldn't have tried to ask them since they're still dealing with a loss, the wounds are probably still fresh." Said Mikleo.

"Does this mean we have to go back to the Oroboros?" Asked Edna.

"Yes." Said Mikleo bluntly. Edna stomped her foot.

"Before we go I need to do something." Said Rose separating from the two seraphs. She went to Lafarga.

"Did you get what you need?" Lafarga asked.

"… No." Said Rose, "We're going to set out soon."

"Well if that's the case why don't you and your friends stay for the night?" Lafarga offered.

"Really? You were iffy about Sergei." Said Rose.

"That was a baseless worry." He admitted. "And I am sorry about that."

"I want to ask you where Mason's grave is." Said Rose. Lafarga's face then grew solemn.

"Oh … he said. It's on a cliff's edge by Mabinogio." Said Lafarga.

"Thanks." Said Rose. She walked to the area around the Mabinogio ruins and found a stick lodged into the ground being held up by rocks she took that to mean that was Mason's resting place. "Hey Mason." She said. She knelt at the grave and was quiet for a moment. She took a deep breath. "Well I'm back … without Dezel. But hey I'm the shepherd now and I can purify hellions now so I don't have to either run from them or kill them. And I made some new friends, that Sergei guy that stayed with me, two members from a merchant's guild that helped me with the first steps of being a shepherd named Sorey and Muse, … oh and two seraphs. Their names are Edna and Mikleo. Well honestly I'm a bit iffy on calling Mikleo a friend since I met him less than a week ago and honestly he tried to kill me when we first met cuz he was kinda hellionized. Though it was because he was working for a dragon. I'm sure I'll warm up to calling him a friend since he is with me to try to find a way to cure the dragon.

"And then there's Edna, she is my Prime-lord and she is about as clueless about her job as I am about mine." She laughed. "But despite that we're still managing, even though we fuck up so so often. She's often criticizing my tendency to act on my instincts and for being about as dumb as she is about our respective duties. She also pretty sarcastic most of the time but I think she means well most of the time, actually, no, some of the time. I wonder what you would say now … would you be laughing? Or would you be like everyone else and freak out over the fact that we just left without saying a word and that Dezel's not here? No you wouldn't do that, at least I think you wouldn't … You did tell me that I was your favorite when we were kids …

"We ran into your murderer again, but we still couldn't do anything about him. We had to be saved by an assassin's guild known as the Scattered Bones and Dezel temporarily turned into a hellion because of it. That's why he's not here now, turning into a hellion may have messed him up … I don't know … he doesn't emote well unless I'm trying to hunt one of the animals he tried to keep. So yeah he left on his own to do something. He's so stupid sometimes you know? We're both new to the outside world so you'd think it'd be good if we worked together but he never told me about this and we never got to talking about it. Ugh … I'm sorry." She reached into a belt pouch and pulled out an herb that she picked off the ground while traveling back to Elysia. "Here … They're not flowers and Mikleo and Edna would kill me if they found out but might as well leave something for you right?" She placed them in front of the stick then got back up. "See ya around Mason." She went back to Elysia, Edna stood at the front gate.

"Finished your errand?" She asked.

"Yeah, where's Mikleo?"

"Meebo's at Lafarga's house reading some books, it's boring waiting for you." Said Edna.

"You could've occupied yourself you know." Said Rose.

"The problem is my sources of entertainment were preoccupied." Said Edna.

"Hey! I'm the damn shepherd not your personal play thing!" Protested Rose, followed by a bop on the head with Edna's umbrella. "Stop that!"

"Stop whining, it's getting late, we're grabbing Meebo and crashing at your place." Said Edna. Rose looked confused for a moment and looked at the sky to see it was already sundown. She shrugged, thinking they might as well go with it and start heading towards Falkewin in the morning.

Yes, Eizen is alive ... probably, and as you can guess he's not a dragon so he is definitely not Bahamut. And that first part of the chapter was so I can make a "vulgar ancients" joke.

pheiral - Well they don't really have a place to put Sergei's armor and it's likely a pain to carry ... plus it's another Critical Role reference. Also it is possible that Mikleo remembers Muse or she could just look like someone he knew it all depends on how old he was when he ended up on Rayfalke. And I don't mind answering this but I do also post this fic on AO3. I put it up here for people who don't use/want to use AO3. And yeah I'm not gonna be able to impress everyone as a lot of people have different tastes.