LOVE FOOLS

Confrontation

JPOV

Next morning I woke up with sun rays falling on me. I tried to open my eyes but couldn't open them, after a few seconds I opened my eyes, rubbing them lightly. I looked down and found that I was half lying on the floor, my one leg on sofa and the other on the floor. I quickly sat on the sofa shocked on why I was sleeping in the living room. I tried to remember what happened last night.

I clearly remember going to party, having a conversation with my friend, coming home , kissing you, you pushing me away , me leaving the house, going to bar, getting drunk , coming to home dizzy and and i tried hard to remember after that.

Argh... I couldn't remember what happened after that. After few minutes of trying i remembered that after coming home seeing her sleeping on sofa, carrying her to our room, our argument, my confession and forcing myself on Bella.

I got up shocked, couldn't believe myself that I tried to force myself on Bella in drunken state.

I shouldn't have behaved like that . I felt ashamed and disgusted of myself.

Instead of mending her heart, I messed up everything now.I immediately realized that I need to apologize to her and ask for her forgiveness,as soon as possible .

I looked at clock and noticed that the time was 10 am. I had overslept. then I searched bedroom, balcony, terrace and everywhere in the house but i couldn't t find her.

Oh god, what did I do?

I searched everywhere in the house but didn't find her . My head was aching and I don't have any idea where she had gone . I walked to main door to see if she was in the garden, when I was about to open the bolt I noticed that it was already opened and just the door was closed.

I clearly remember locking it last night. As nobody was there in the house except you and me, I thought you must have opened it.

I went out and searched in the garden but she was not there. Panicked, I came inside and looked for my mobile to call you but I don't remember where I kept it last night. I searched in the living room but I didn't find it., then walked to bedroom, while searching I noticed that the cupboards were empty.

I was shocked. I understood that Bella must have left the house because of my behaviour last night. But where will she go, other than her parent's house .She doesn't have any other relatives in this city.

I was worried about her safety. I found my mobile and dialed your number. It was ringing but she didn't answer the call. I was more worried as she was not attending my call, at that moment I just wanted to know that you are in safe place, and nothing else.

I wondered whether you left the house in the night or early morning. Redialing her number I came to kitchen to drink some water. I noticed that milk packets had been placed on the dining table , it gave me a relief thinking that she must have left in the morning as the milk boy delivers the milk at 6:30 am. You must have left after placing them on the dining table. I decided to call her parents to check whether she went to their house or not.

Praying to god, I dialed their landline number, your mom lifted the call. After asking casual questions she asked me the reason why I didn't accompany Bella to their house.

Hearing her words I felt thankful to god for keeping her safe. I stated an excuse of attending an important early morning meeting. She was convinced with my reason. During the whole conversation, I realized that she didn't inform her mother about my behavior of the previous night .

After few minutes, I asked her about Bella and she told me that she has a headache and was sleeping in her room. After requesting her to take care of her , I ended the call.

I decided to meet Bella in her home, I wanted to apologize to ask her forgiveness for my behaviour .

I went to our room, got ready and when I was about to start, I thought to call bella once again. So, I dialled her number after 5 rings she disconnected the call.

Thinking that she might be angry on me, I was surprised when I got a message on my mobile.

I opened it and was surprised to see a message from Bella .

Bella : I need some alone time. So, don't call and disturb me.

Me: Please am really very sorry, let me explain once. I am coming to your house.

Bella: I said I need some alone time. Don't come and don't worry I didn't tell anything to my parents and am not planning to tell them as well. I just told them that I am going to rejoin office so came here, as my office is near from my house.

Me: OK .I won't disturb you, but am really ashamed for trying to force myself on you. It is not easy to forgive me but please am sorry. Just give me a chance to explain.

After that I didn't get any reply from .

I thought it would be better if I don't disturb her for some time. Again at night I tried calling her but you didn't attend my calls, I dropped her a message but no reply for that as well.

Next day my family came back from Bangalore and asked me about Bella .

I told them the same reason as you told your parents so that we couldn't get caught if my mom talks to her parents. My mom believed my words but my brother didn't buy that words and asked me the actual reason.

I know I can't hide this from him so I just told him that we two had a small fight, she was angry with me and went to her parents house.

He advised me to meet her and sort it out and also told me to bring Bella back as soon as possible. But I know that she needs time, so I just told him the same and assured him that I will bring her back after 2 days.

I called her and messaged you countless number of times but she didn't gave reply to any of those. Her behavior hurt me so much but I consoled myself that I deserved that kind of treatment for my behavior, this happened for another 2 days.

On third day, I came to know that she rejoined office .

I couldn't sleep at night thinking, the guilt was eating me day by day. I wanted to run to her house and beg her for r forgiveness but as she asked, i decided to give her some more alone time.

After one week I came to bella's house directly from my office. Her parents welcomed me and requested me to stay for dinner, having no other option I agreed.

Through out dinner, she just ignored me.

After finishing dinner, we both entered her room. I closed the door and stood near the door contemplating on how to start a conversation with her

When I looked up she was standing in front of me holding her night clothes.

"Move" it was niether order nor request.

"Where are you going, Bella?"

"It is none of your business, please move"

"Bella, listen to me once please"

"What is there to listen? Jacob"

"Please Bella, am sorry. I was not in my senses. I shouldn't have behaved like that! Please try to understand."

"Understand! Do you want me to understand that my husband tried to force himself on me , when I disagreed to fulfill his desires?"

" Bella , I don't want to say this but you left me with no other option. So, please don't forget that you were the one who made me to do so. I was drunk and disappointed with the way you were treating me. I confessed my feelings to you expecting that you would understand my situation but instead you degraded my love.

I was angry and frustrated , more over I was not in my senses to think straight like that .

Trust me! I am neither justifying nor supporting my behavior and also am not even expecting you to forgive me. I am just explaining my condition to you. I swear I will never behave like that with you again.

Trust me for this time! We have been married for 4 months now. We stayed in same room, did I made any move in those days that made you uncomfortable?"

"Are you done? Can I go now?" she asked me with a blank expression.

"Don't you want to say anything?" I asked helplessly seeing her non-responsiveness after my explanation.

"No, now move "Saying that Bella started to walk past me but I held her wrist to stop her from going out of her room.

But she gave a look which made me feel like a plague, it made me feel like a very low person in front of her .

I immediately removed my hold on her hand."Don't go Bella , this is your house, your room. I will go out, you stay here." Saying that I walked towards the door, before going out I turned back and looked at her .

"Trust me please , I will never touch you until you ask me to, so please understand this! come back home. Remember that am just feeling sorry for forcing myself on you but not for my outburst on your behavior, not for ignoring me from the start of our marriage. So, I still want my answers whether you are trying to forget your past and move on with me or you wanna stay like this thinking about your love which has no future now. I will wait for you, till then I won't disturb you. I won't come here again and I won't bother you with my calls or messages. Take care, bye. " saying that I came out of her room without waiting for reply.