Christmas morning is always a strange time. Kids excited to be getting presents, and everyone else is running around like headless chickens trying to get ready. I suppose it's more strange for me really. Growing up in the Satellite meant that we didn't have spectacular Christmases. Don't get me wrong, Martha tried. Believe me, she tried to make Christmas great for us. But with so many kids in the Satellite, it was hard. So I don't have that festive joy that everyone else seems to have at this time. I guess it just serves as a painful reminder of what I didn't have as a child. Even when I left Martha's, I was the one running around getting everything ready. I suppose everything's still the same now. I fix one of the buntings in the kitchen that has started to fall down. I'm cooking for, honestly I've forgotten how many people. I don't remember agreeing to this. The guys turned around to me one day and asked if I was cooking for Christmas. They kinda put me on the spot so I said yes, against my will more than anything.
The house is really quiet this morning, which I'm grateful for. Crow ran out this morning while I was having cup of coffee number one. He was going to give the presents to the kids. I would have went, I said that last night. But unfortunately, preparing for a Christmas meal is a lot of work. As Crow was hopping on his D-Wheel, he realised that I haven't gone back to Martha's yet. That is true, the last time I saw Martha was the day before I got arrested. Crow insists that I'm going at some stage. I just laugh it off and tell him to head off to Martha's already. I love Martha, don't get me wrong. I'd probably be dead in the Satellite without her. But I'm terrified to go back. The thought of Martha dragging me inside by the earlobe and giving me the lecture of a lifetime isn't exactly a pleasant one. I suppose it would be nice to see Martha again. I'd wear a dress, that'd freak her out. She gave up trying to get me in a dress by age nine. A younger me would be disgusted by anything remotely feminine, seeing it as impractical and weak. Now, I'd wear a dress and heels at any given opportunity. Well, maybe not the heels. Wearing heels makes me taller than Yusei, and that's just wrong. I tried on a pair of heels that I brought over from my old apartment. One glance at the top of Yusei's head, and those heels were off. Some girls don't have a problem being taller than their crushes, I do. Or maybe it's because I've always been shorter than Yusei, and this is the closest our heights have been, ever. So being taller than him, even artificially, is just wrong. Speaking of Yusei, he's hasn't actually gotten up yet. Shocking, I know, which makes me question how early it actually is.
Go back to sleep. I nearly drop my coffee cup when I hear Kaoru's voice in my head.
What?
It's like four in the morning, go back asleep.
Why are you awake then? Excited for presents? I smirk to myself.
No, your thoughts woke me up. Go back to sleep.
Nah, gotta start making food. I can hear Kaoru sighing in my head.
Fine. I'm going to play music until I go back asleep, don't start complaining. Kaoru's voice goes away. I'm grateful, I hate Kaoru rummaging around in my head. Apparently, he knows about the whole Dark Signer thing. Gods know how, I've been trying not to think about it. Then again, he could have asked Yusei. Would Yusei even tell Kaoru about that? That's a good question. I give up and down the rest of my coffee.
So apparently, Shinji and Reika want me to go to the garage where Reika works for a special surprise. A Christmas present obviously, and given where I'm going, it's pretty obvious what they're going to give me. And I'm fairly certain that Kaoru's in on this too. Given by how he's holding himself anyway. Speaking of Kaoru, he keeps glancing at me from the corner of his eye as we walk. A habit of his to get me to talk first.
"Yes?" I say it quite bluntly, well aware of what he's up to.
"What?" He sounds surprised.
"Spit it out." Then, he glances at me nervously.
"Fine." He sighs. "There's something that doesn't make sense to me." I nod, letting him continue. Something about gangs for sure, or something related to them. "I've heard you say that you didn't know anyone else by name that I didn't already know. But then you said that you were handing over Black Flag to this kid called Yuudai. That makes no sense at all, you're lying about something."
"I'm not lying, I didn't know anyone else in Black Flag."
"But then who is Yuudai?"
"Hey." I turn to look at him. "Just think about it. It's simple. You've met or at least seen everyone I knew in Black Flag. That means you already know Yuudai." Kaoru's eyes dart around. He pauses and he gasps quietly like he figured it out.
"Takumi and Kenta are double agents?" I stop walking. Kaoru stops too. He looks back over his shoulder before turning around. He goes to question me, but then he freezes.
"No." I say nothing. Not a bad guess, but he's wrong.
"No." His eyes widen a little bit. "No way." I sigh. "It's you, you're Yuudai." I don't say anything, but he's right. He stares at me. I know he's working out every detail in his eyes, trying to figure out all of the facets my identity and how they combine to form me. I keep walking, Kaoru eventually follows me.
Kaoru puts on a smile when we get to the garage. Reika runs over to me and crushes me in a hug.
"I've missed you so much." Are those tears in her eyes? "I'm so sorry I haven't visited you, I haven't had a day off since you woke up." Doesn't surprise me, Reika doesn't have free time these days. She just says in the garage either working for money, apparently the boss lets her stay in the garage after working hours to work on her own projects. I suppose that's what you get when you're not marked. Once she comes out of the hug, she immediately wipes her hands in a rag.
"I missed you too." I say it like I saw Reika at all before my accident.
Shinji asks about my leg. I don't complain for once. It's basically healed. He tells me to be careful, don't do anything too dangerous. A part of me wonders if he knows what I'm going to do. I hope not. We were supposed to be leaving gangs behind for good. Now, it's just him. Shinji and Reika get to go off and be happy. Me, I get stuck in limbo for another few months at least. At least. I can't bear the thought of this lasting for more than a year. Kaoru looks at me. He's been staring at me for the last while. He doesn't know what to think about the whole Yuudai situation. I'm sure that a part of him wants to ask Shinji about everything. I'm not letting him. Shinji won't want a part of this, so I'm not going to allow Kaoru to drag him into this.
"So you're probably wondering why you're here." Reika fidgets on spot.
"Not really." I shrug my shoulders.
"Kaoru, did you tell her?" Shinji glares in Kaoru's direction.
"I swear I didn't." Kaoru holds his hands up. "And she doesn't know, even through the telepathy thing."
"Yeah, I figured out what you're doing myself." Reika huffs a little bit, wanting it to be a surprise.
"So anyway, we wanted to give you something." Shinji starts. "You've had a hard time lately."
"Originally we wanted to give it to you on your birthday, but then I needed to get help on the-" Reika realises that she's starting to ramble and stops.
"Well, we finally finished it." Shinji continues talking as Reika wraps her arm around his waist. He gestures to something covered in a giant cloth on the other side of the room. The three of them look at me, so I walk forward. I run my hand over the top of the cloth, the cold seeps into my hand. I pull the sheet off with force. Just like I thought. I run my hand along the cold body of the D-Wheel. I spot my duel disk and a shining helmet on the seat. I move to the front of the D-Wheel. An orange jewel sits at the front on the D-Wheel, as it narrows to a point.
"Trishula." The word spills from my lips.
"Yeah, I based the design of your D-Wheel off Trishula, Dragon of the Ice Barrier, since you like that card so much." I take said card out, and smile.
"It looks great." I smile at Reika. "Thank you."
"Oh I'm glad you like it!" Reika tackles me in a hug. I start giggling, that's very unlike her. I feel so warm inside. I love my friends. I honestly don't know what I did to deserve them. I keep smiling, I want to let them know how I feel. 'Thank you's keep spilling from my mouth, and I can't stop. My eyes start to water. Shinji crushes me in a bear hug, laughing. He pats my head, messing up my hair.
"So, I should probably go on a little joyride, huh?" I gesture to my new ride.
"Nuh-uh." Reika has her scolding face on. "You can't drive while you're like this." I sigh. "No D-Wheel for you until you're better. And before you think about sneaking off with it, I've told Yusei about this." Well, there goes any hope of riding my D-Wheel for the next year.
"You gave me a D-Wheel, and told me that I can't use it."
"Yes." Reika's eyes are slightly wide as she realises the flaw in her logic.
"Fine." I sigh. "I'm basically better, so jokes on you."
"It's true. I don't have to walk slower anymore." I give Kaoru a pointed look. He never told me about this, and frankly I'm a bit embarrassed.
We stay chatting in the garage for a while. Talking about plans for the Christmas. Shinji and Reika are having a joint Christmas again at Reika's house as usual. Normally, I join them. But this year, I'm not. Kaoru stays unusually silent, which is odd. I end up giving Reika and Shinji their Christmas presents. Knitted scarves, which I'm sure are a disappointment after a great present like my D-Wheel. A red scarf for Reika, and a grey scarf for Shinji.
It isn't until we're wheeling the D-Wheel back to Poppo Time that I realise why. Apparently, Kasumi booked to go on holidays during Christmas while I was in my coma. Kaoru, not knowing what to do, said no to going with her and her sisters, and the inevitable cousins that followed. I mean, I would have hated to go. That entire family hates me, and I hate them. They blame me for how Kasumi turned out, and think I'm a disgrace for having the audacity to be marked in this family. I invite him to have dinner at Poppo Time. It beats being alone. Since he's too shy at ask Emiko to go to her house, and all that. I think back to Anako. She's lingered in my head ever since I moved out from my old apartment. I feel guilty. I know why. Everything in my life seems to lead back to Raiden.
I get Yusei to open the garage door so I can wheel my D-Wheel. I'm surprised when I see my father standing in the garage next to Yusei.
"Oh, so this is your new D-Wheel." My father walks up to the D-Wheel and runs his hand over the body.
"Yeah, it is." I smile at Yusei. I know that he helped Reika with the engine, that much is obvious.
"Your friend did a bangup job." My dad turns back to me.
"She did." My dad walks over to me. Yusei walks over to the computer and starts typing.
"I left your present near the couch." He points to the corner of the room. Three packages stacked on top of each other. Curious. Before I can respond with a 'thank you', he keeps talking. He glances over to Yusei before lowering his voice. "He's a keeper." I nearly choke on my spit. My dad pats me on the back. "Right, I'll leave you to it." He leaves straight after, and I'm pretty sure that my face is beet red.
"Aren't you gonna open your presents?" Yusei gets up from the computer, standing next to me as I admire my new D-Wheel. There's a slight hint of teasing in his voice.
"Nah, gotta go baste the turkey." This doesn't get me to move. I sigh, finally starting to move away from it, as much as it pains me. "But thanks for helping." I pat the front of the D-Wheel. In a bold move, I press my lips to Yusei's cheeks, and finally go upstairs into the kitchen. It's only when my feet touch the kitchen floor, that I realise what I've just done.
"You're an idiot." Kaoru remarks as I waddle slowly to the oven.
"What happened?" Crow asks, not exactly sure if he wants to hear the answer.
"Nothing." I manage to squeak out, getting the turkey out of the oven.
"Gentlemen, this is the face of someone regretting all of their life decisions at once." I stare at Kaoru until he shuts up. I sigh. Without even looking at them, I can tell that Crow and Jack are confused. I pick the recipe for everything, checking over everything. I start counting on my hands, that's the last time the turkey has to go in the oven. At least, I'm pretty sure.
"Do she normally squint that much?" I put the recipe on the counter, and fully turn to face Kaoru.
"I can just not cook dinner." I shrug my shoulders.
"I said nothing." Crow throws his hands up. Only then I realise that Jack has mysteriously vanished from the room, he does that sometimes.
"I mean, you do realise that you forgot your glasses at home?"
"Wait, you wear glasses?" Crow tries to suppress a laugh. I sigh.
"Yeah, I'm blind as a bat. But I look like a nerd when I wear my glasses, so I don't." While I'm sure the image of me in glasses is amusing to other people, it's an image I'd rather forget. The glasses just remind me of Kasumi trying to form into something acceptable. Almost as if, maybe, the glasses would force some 'smart' into my brain.
By the time I'm nearly finished cooking, I'm a wreck. My hair starts clinging to the back of my neck, so I tie it up. Some strands fall out, so I slick them back to get them to stay, they don't. Yusei comes into the kitchen, I don't notice until he's right beside me.
"Do you want any help?" I jump a little bit, and I look at him.
"I'm nearly done, you can go sit down." I try to smile with him, but I'm too occupied getting the potatoes out of the oven.
"Your hair looks nice like that." My brain shuts off as I try to mumble some sort of phrase meaning thank you. I can feel my cheeks heating up.
"I better go get changed." I go and get the dress I bought along with a pair of shoes from my clothes bag which always sits beside the couch in the garage. "Kaoru, make the gravy." I say as I hustle through the kitchen to get to the bathroom. While changing, I suddenly become aware of my scar. Starting at my chest, moving down through my cleavage and veering out around my belly button. Lines jolt out from my scar at the ends, almost like I was struck by lightning. While I don't have to wear bandages anymore, it still hasn't quite healed. It's strange. My healing factor should have kicked in, and at most have left a faint outline of it at this stage. The scar stays like it would on anyone else. Could it be related to my powers not working like they should lately? Sometimes the edge of the scar tingles, just like my powers used to. It just brings up memories of Raiden hurling me through a wall with his attack. It still hurts. As much I cursed and hated him, a part of me still misses him. This is the first time I haven't celebrated Christmas with Raiden. I hastily throw on my dress in an effort to get back downstairs quicker. I run my hands on the short carmine skirt, enjoying the feeling of the sheen on the fabric. I pull the sleeves down so they sit just below my elbows, though I have a feeling I'll probably be pushing them up later.
I take my hair down, letting it fall behind my shoulders. I stare at myself in the mirror. Shaking my head, I pull my hair back up into a ponytail. I tuck some strands out at the front to frame my face, and hide a pimple. My fringe naturally falls into my eyes, as it isn't a tight ponytail. It's a nice look I'll admit. I'm tempted to keep it. I mean Yusei likes it, so I guess I should. Oh gods, did I really just think that? Despite the fact that I'm alone, I cover my face with my hands. I shove that thought deep down inside me, I'll deal with that later. I have to finish making food, then I drown in those feelings which should, quite frankly, only belong to school girl.
Going downstairs, I check over everything, double checking my recipes. That's everything I think. Then I notice the gravy that Kaoru made.
"That's coffee."
"What?" Kaoru turns around to me, putting a bowl of vegetables down on the counter.
"That's not gravy, that's coffee." I point to the gravy dish, which clearly doesn't contain coffee.
"Are you sure about that? That's gravy." I pick up the dish, and pour it into my mouth.
"That's coffee, mate." I can feel everyone in the room staring at me as I continue to pour coffee into my mouth. "What? I'm not going to waste perfectly good coffee." Admittedly, it's fun to drink coffee out of something that you're not supposed to drink coffee from.
We borrow a rather large table and some chairs from Zora, and set them up in the garage. Dinner contains the expected levels of noise and bickering that I've come to expect from these people. Sadly, Aki won't be joining us until later because she's having dinner with her parents. Though, we do have the twins with us, so that's a plus. We've barely begun eating before Kaoru throws some vague attempts at insults at me.
"Are you even chewing?" I can't answer him since my mouth is full of food. So, I decide to stare at him until it's no longer full.
"Of course I do. I just eat fast, unlike you." I, then, manage to stick half of a roast potato in my mouth in one go.
I notice that Jack won't look me in the eye. What has he done now? Did he mess things up with Carly and now blames me? Or is it something else entirely? I shrug my shoulders and continue eating. I resist to roll my eyes and groan when the inevitable bickering starts. I can see the same sentiment in Yusei beside me, despite his usual stoic exterior. I don't even listen. Something about who gets the remaining turkey leg, since I had nabbed the first one. I cooked the food, I deserve the best bit of the turkey. I offer a bit of the turkey leg to Yusei, just to spite them. He accepts it, of course. I revel at Jack and Crow's betrayed faces. Kaoru mutters something about me being a drama queen. I literally have to put my knife and fork down, I'm that offended. Kaoru suggests that they split the turkey leg, before shoving more food in his mouth like he hadn't said anything. This doesn't stop them quarrelling, because how do you split a turkey leg equally? Eventually, I crack, slicing it down the middle, not caring if it's equal or not. Ruka comments that I seem like a mother. I don't know how to react to that. A mother to three grown ass men, I say. Not exactly my cup of tea, at least not while I'm single. I just want someone beside me when I finally have kids. It's then that I regret the fact that we didn't get some alcohol for today. Gods forbid, I'd have to drink water at Christmas, what a disgrace. I finish before everyone else, as usual. I just sit admiring the scene. Beside the bickering and noise, there's a nice serenity. Despite everything that's happened, we've all found each other. Even if we're not related by blood, we're still family. Isn't that what matters?
I'm cleaning up in the kitchen with Crow. We have a nice system. I clean, he dries and puts everything away. He's telling me about the kids getting their presents. I can tell that he's really proud of those kids. Then, all of a sudden, he changes the topic out of nowhere.
"So, what's the deal with you and Yusei anyway?" I put the pot I'm cleaning back into the sink. I turn my head and stare at him.
"What do you mean?" I try to seem impartial, secretly trying to hide the fact that I'm just a little bit flustered.
"You know what I mean."
"Yusei and I are just friends." I go back to cleaning the pot. Crow is squinting at me, he's called my bluff. The sound of my heartbeat is deafening. "Nothing's going on between us." If possible, Crow is squinting and raising his eyebrows more.
"Sure." His tone is so sarcastic, that I almost feel attacked. "I've seen the way you two look at each other."
"What? We don't look at each other any different than anyone else." Crow stops drying in his tracks and stares at me. He knows. I hear Aki's voice in the basement. Crow puts a plate back in the press, and goes downstairs to greet her. Each other, he said. That's the second time someone has commented on it. Is it possible that this is a mutual thing? No, it couldn't be. Right?
"How about you and Aki, huh?" I say when Crow starts drying the pot I cleaned. There's a cat-like grin on my face.
"Shut up."
"I didn't say anything." I wiggle my eyebrows. He's clearly not impressed. "You do seem to text her a lot. You're quite fond of her, my friend."
"Okay, fine, yes. Just keep your voice down." He looks pointedly at me. I keep cleaning another pot while smirking at him.
"Your secret is safe with me, friend."
"Good." He sighs. He glances at the stairs, almost to check if anyone heard him. From what I can tell, no one heard him downstairs. At least Aki and Yusei didn't. I can't say for the others, I can't read their auras too well. My powers haven't fully returned. Something in Crow's aura changes beside me. That's new. I was able to sense it before, interesting. "Okay, now you have to spill."
"Not right now." I keep my voice to a whisper. "I'm seeing how things play out." I can't say anything until I figure what I said after I lost my duel to Yusei. What I say depends on what I said back then. It could well have been something friendship ruining, and I don't want to say anything in case it was.
"Alright then." Crow accepts it, a little disappointed. "You better tell me eventually."
"Oh don't worry I will." Either way, I'll be screaming at the top of lungs or crying hysterically. He'll know the answer either way.
"So, you do like him?" He says it in a hushed tone, and I glare at him.
"I told you, I'm not saying anything."
"Fine, fine." He raises his hands in self defense. "Though, you're not great at being subtle." He puts away the last of the forks and walks away. What's that supposed to mean? I wanted to ask, but he's already walking down the stairs into the garage. I sigh, and follow him. Everyone's split between sitting at the table and standing up. I stand and talk to Aki for a while. Ever since that shopping trip, we've been talking a lot more. I'm surprised actually. We get along really well. I suppose Yusei was right after all. Though, we haven't gotten close enough that she'll open up about the Arcadia Movement. However, I suspect she doesn't talk about with anyone. I try to ignore that. Kaoru brings up his training. I had almost forgotten that I was supposed to be doing that. Though, Anako seems to have taken my place, and shows no signs of complaining. I feel a little betrayed in a sense. I only just got my brother back, and Anako seems to be stealing him away from me. I try my best to slide that to the back of my mind and enjoy the night, before Kaoru catches the thought.
Present giving starts relatively soon after that. I hand out the scarves to everyone, and silently lamenting my lack of money. A plum scarf for Aki, a magenta scarf for Ruka and a blue scarf for Rua. Aki and the twins pitched in and got me a voucher for the local fabric store, since Yusei mentioned that I was a seamstress and that I make most of my own clothes. A red scarf for Yusei, a purple scarf for Jack and a scarf that matches Crow's headband. Crow's headband is a tricky colour to describe, honestly a different colour comes to mind everytime I think of it. The three of them explain that they'd chipped in on making a D-Wheel, which was part of their present. They hand me a parcel. Saying that it's shoulder, elbow and knee pads, so I don't hurt myself. I laugh, and thank them. Not without reminding them that I do indeed have a licence and that I won't hurt myself. Yusei puts his hand on my shoulder and gives me this look. I raise my eyebrows, but he says nothing. He thinks I'll get hurt, he worries too much for his own good, especially when I'm involved.
As everyone is starting to leave, I suddenly remember that I haven't opened my dad's present yet. Apparently Kaoru helped him with picking something out, and by that he means he asked Emiko for help but is taking the credit.
Yusei sits with me as I open the parcel shaped the most like a regular box. I try to open the parcel without ripping the wrapping paper, there's always a way to reuse it. I spot the brand name on the box and I actually have to stop and breathe. Yusei looks at me like there's something wrong. Crow comes into the basement when I start verbally expressing my emotions.
"It's a sewing machine." I manage to get out. It's a damn expensive one at that. "Oh gods." I fan myself in order to calm myself down. Once I've calmed down enough, I start to open the other packages. A nice table with drawers to hold my sewing supplies, with a chair to match. The other package holds some black and magenta fabric, along with some fabric scissors, chalk and a sewing kit with all the trimmings. It's then I nearly start crying. Crow jokingly asks if I'm crying. I honestly couldn't give him a straight answer. Once I've calmed down a bit, I go into the kitchen to call my dad.
"Hey kiddo." He picks up the phone, I can hear the smile in his voice. I barely get the hello before thank yous keep spilling from my mouth. He laughs. "I thought I'd do something nice for you. I think you needed it."
"Everyone's been saying that. I'm starting to think I don't deserve it all."
"Now, don't you say that." I imagine he's doing that 'dad pointed look' that he makes sometimes. "Your friends care about you. Just say thank you, and don't be saying those things."
"Alright then." I hold my hand to my forehead, feeling a little bit overwhelmed.
"You can make some money using that sewing machine. I've seen some of the things you can make, they're great. You could make a right few quid with that, you hear?"
"Right, thank you." I can feel the rouge starting to bloom in my cheeks. "Maybe I'll be able to go out and get my own place."
"As in move out? Are you not happy living with the guys? You know I told that Yusei guy is a keeper."
"I know you said that." I try to suppress the blush in my cheeks. "But I can't exactly crash on my somebody's couch for the rest of my life." He pauses for a beat.
"I suppose you're right. You could always come and live with me again. We have a spare bedroom for a reason."
"Dad, I love you and everything. But, if I did that, I'd feel like I'd taking advantage of your kindness. You've done more than enough for me already."
"I get what you mean. You've been living on your own so long, I'd imagine it's hard to rely on people again."
"Yeah, it is." And I'm still not used to it. I pull more than my own weight around here. The guys barely do anything now, though it was like that back in the Satellite.
"Call me if you need help with anything." The tone of his voice tells me that it's more of a command than anything.
"I will, don't worry."
"Goodnight Yuuka. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas Dad, night." I hang up the phone. What my dad said was right. It's hard relying on people when you've been on your own for so long. I need to get out on my own, stand on my own two feet. Even if that means seeing Yusei and the guys less. I left Raiden to be independent. And independent is what I'm going to be.