It's been a couple of weeks since Christmas, and every job application I've submitted has been declined. Either right when I handed it in, whether or not they said it was because of my mark, I knew why. Or they took it silently and never gave me an interview. I still haven't taken the message, I keep applying for everywhere. Even if they don't say they're hiring. Someone will give me a chance eventually. Though that's hard when you're a dropout and you were fired from your last job. Thankfully, Reika let me put down her garage as a previous job and acts as my reference. That's the only way I'll get a job. Like Mrs. Kimura would give me a good reference after what happened. Heck, she wouldn't have, even before that.
To cheer me up, Emiko decides to go through apartments with me in the newspaper. Mostly people looking for a roommate in areas far beyond anything I hope to earn. I sigh for what feels like the millionth time, the newspaper full of crossed out advertisements. There's only so many times you can see 'Satellites need not apply'.
"You could live at my house for a while. We have more than enough space." Emiko offers after a while.
"Emiko, your dad is literally a politician. I don't think the media would take too kindly to that." I rub my fingertips over my mark.
"But the City and Satellite are united now. If anything, that will make him look great." She still doesn't understand.
"The bridge still hasn't fixed the problem." She looks taken aback. "And it never will. It will take decades for me to be equal to you, if even."
"Surely, it can't be that bad." Kaoru puts down the newspaper.
"Oh it can." I raise my eyebrows. "Crow was asked to leave a shop the other day because he seemed suspicious." It took all of me not to march down to that shop and give them a piece of my mind. When I say all of me, but I mean Yusei. "They pulled the whole we reserve the right to refuse service. Bigoted bull, that's what that is." I'm waiting for the whole 'Crow has a bunch of marks, of course he looks suspicious', but it doesn't come. I just want to be treated as human, rather than a walking threat for what is essentially a tattoo. The silence lingers for a while as we start looking at the newspapers again. Nothing. There is literally nothing out there for me.
"You could move in with us." Kaoru mutters after a while.
"No, I told you I'm not speaking to that woman." I can feel the venom dripping from my mouth.
"I'm just saying."
"I know you're just saying, but that is literally the last thing I'd do."
"And you're not going to move in with Dad?"
"No, I'd feel like I'd be taking advantage of him." I can feel Kaoru suppressing a sigh.
"Shinji and Reika aren't options I assume?"
"I'm not living on someone's couch, Kaoru." I say with more venom than I intended to.
"Your friends aren't an option either?"
"Takumi and Kenta already live together, and besides Kenta hates me." I can feel Kaoru getting frustrated with me.
"Then you've run out of options." Emiko jumps a little, Kaoru's at the end of his tether. I say nothing, closing my eyes. I slide down on the couch so my head rests on the back. "Nowhere is hiring you, rent is too expensive. You either move in with us or stay here forever." He stands up. "Unlike you, I actually have things to do." He walks out of the room. I say walk, it's more like storms out. Emiko stands up, glances at the stairs, then back to me.
"I should probably go calm him down." She manages to squeak out before leaving. I stay in the kitchen for a few more minutes, trying to calm myself down before something happens. Eventually, I get up and head back into the garage. I pick up another book, a present from Emiko, and start from where I left off.
I've gotten into my usual upside down reading position by the time all three of the guys are back in the house. I only start complaining when they block my reading light. I'm about to open my mouth to voice my complaint, but Yusei beats me to it.
"Yuuka, we need to talk."
"Why?" I sigh, not really wanting to put down my book.
"It's important." I give up, sliding the bookmark in.
"Fine. What is this about anyway?"
"Let's go talk in the kitchen." We really need to fix, the only place you can have a serious sitting conversation in this house is the kitchen.
"Right, what's up?" I say once everyone has sat down.
"We know you're looking for a job and trying to get your own place. We know you're having a hard time." Crow starts. "But we need to talk to you about your mother."
"Well, she's been dead for twelve years." I know exactly what he's talking about.
"No, he means your birth mother." Yusei pipes in, giving Crow a look.
"Here we go." I say as I roll my eyes.
"No, listen to us." Crow's eyebrows are furrowed. "Growing up, we thought we were all orphans. You came to this City and you found what we dreamed of, a family. You've met your real mother, but you're just gonna throw that away? For what?"
"One, she's not my real mother. She didn't raise me, she never cared about me at all."
"How do you know that?" I know all eyes are on me.
"She gave me up, Crow." Yusei and Jack sit in silent as Crow and I become more intense.
"You don't know that's true." I exhale through my nostrils. I'm done.
"You know what. I don't have to deal with this." I move to get up.
"You're just being stubborn." I'm surprised when Jack speaks up. "You should be grabbing the bull by horns, not running away like a coward." A coward. That strikes me deep down. I sit back down.
"We're not asking you to go live with her. We just want you to go talk to her. We didn't get the chance to meet our parents. You still have that. We don't want you to waste that."
"Yuuka, please." Yusei pipes up, those two words are enough. My name rolls off his tongue so effortlessly.
"Fine, I guess." I groan a little bit. I don't want to do this, but I'll do it for them.
I have my sewing machine set up so that I can face Yusei working on his D-Wheel. I'm trying to work out a design that will work with the shoulder, elbow and knee pads. I end up with a magenta jacket with a darker shade for the trim. The shoulder pads would straight up sewn into the jacket, with the elbow pads being scrapped, in favour of rolled up sleeves. I'm almost about to start cutting my magenta fabric when I realise that I'd properly ruin my elbows if I crashed. I have shitty elbows as is, so that idea is scrapped. I end up with a plain magenta jacket. Using the elastic straps on the pads means that I don't have to sew them into the jacket. But also, I can just take them off when I'm not on my D-Wheel because they can be uncomfortable sometimes. Practicality, and it looks great. That's all a girl needs. With the voucher Aki, Rua and Ruka gave me, I was able to buy some nice denim. They made for a nice pair of blue jeans. I even used that brown thread to make them look like shop bought jeans. Finished with everything, I lay them over the arm of the couch. Yusei catches my eye and smiles. I can't help but smile back.
Tightening my ponytail, I sigh. I admire my new outfit in my mirror, all while trying to find faults in the seams. I can't seem to find anything now, though I will probably have to touch them up later. I notice my scar ever so slightly showing on my midriff, so I pull my cropped black t-shirt down. I walk from the bathroom back down to the garage. I stand staring at my D-Wheel, parked next to Yusei's. I've taken on test drives before. I can do this. Though, that's not what I'm worrying about. I'm heading off to see Kasumi today. I don't think she knows I'm coming, which puts me a little at ease, since she's not going to be expecting anything. I take a deep breath, but my feet still don't move. I reckon I'm standing for a good while before someone makes a comment.
"Do you think she's ever going to move?" I can hear Crow say as I continue to stare at my D-Wheel, willing myself to move.
"Eventually." Yusei says, sitting in front of the computer.
"I'm going to go," I say, "Eventually."
"Why haven't you gone yet?"
"She thinks she can hold off on going if she stands here long enough." I mean Yusei isn't entirely wrong.
"I'm just really nervous okay." I take a step towards the D-Wheel before I start to freak out. "Nope, can't do it." I start to scurry away, before Crow takes my arm and drags me back to where I was. I sigh.
"You said you'd go." I did. "So you're going." I groan, and sit on my D-Wheel with my helmet on. "Yuuka." Crow looks at me.
"Give me a minute." The visor isn't even down on my helmet. I take a deep breath, lowering the visor. I finally drive out of the garage.
It's not a pleasant drive. My mind is only filled of ways this could go wrong, each one getting progressively worse. Kaoru just tells me to wait outside the house. He opens the garage door, letting me inside. I park my D-Wheel, putting my helmet on the seat. It's then when it settles in where I am. I thought I'd never be back in this house again. I stand looking around the garage for a moment. The fridge and freezer Kasumi used to store everything that didn't fit in the kitchen. Her car. The set of garden furniture. Everything here reeks of her. Am I really ready to see her again? The woman who ruined my time in this City. She made that time living hell.
Kaoru gestures to the house with his head, wanting me to go in. I follow him at a snail's pace. How am I going to react? Will the mere sight of her cause my powers to go beserk? How will she react to me? Does she even want to see me? I can hear her in the kitchen, calling for Kaoru.
"Did your friend arrive, honey?" My hands start shaking. "I'm really excited to meet them." My breath keeps catching in my chest. "Nice to meet y-" Our eyes meet. Her eyes are that curious red-violet colour, not quite purple, not quite magenta. Her eyes gloss over. "Yuuka." She tackles me into a hug. Her shoulders start shaking. I look at Kaoru, hoping he'll tell what I should do. He just shrugs his shoulders. I hesitate before patting her softly on the back. She only squeezes me tighter. Her tears start to stain my jacket. All thoughts vacate my head. All I can focus on is this woman crying on my shoulder. Hugging me tight like she can't believe I'm actually in front of her. In that moment, I feel grounded. Like it's the first moment my feet has touched the earth in years, like I'm actually here and alive. I go to rest my head on hers, but she pulls away, wiping her eyes. Her makeup is smudged, her black eyeliner starting to run down her face.
"It's good to see you." She manages to say despite the tears. I nod, unable for words. It's strange. I'm not filled with resentment, anger or anything else. It's an almost numb feeling, like I'm simply an observer.
"We should probably sit down." Kaoru suddenly pipes up, I had almost forgotten he was there. I think Kasumi did too.
"Yeah." She puts her hand on her forehead, she lingers behind us. I look back at her, she looks up at me. Tears are coming back to her eyes. The lines on her face have only become more pronounced in the time that I was gone. I can't help but wonder if it's because of me. I walk into the sitting room and sit down on the love-seat by myself. Kasumi comes in, wiping her eyes, and sits on the longer couch, next to Kaoru. The room is silent. I wait for Kasumi to start.
"I'm sorry." She holds her hands together so they stop shaking. Her voice quivers. "I'm so sorry."
"What?" I manage to stumble over the word, but I get it out.
"I'm sorry. Everything that has happened to you, it's my fault." My breath catches in my chest. "I can't help thinking, if I had done everything differently, you wouldn't-" Her shoulders shake like she's about to start crying again. "You could have had a better life."
She stops talking after that. She tries to look at me, I can hear her breath hiccuping in her chest. Kaoru, with a hand on Kasumi's back, looks towards me. They both want me to say something. What can I say? This woman made my life a living hell once I moved to the City. The very catalyst that caused my powers to appear, effectively ruining my life. Sending me on that downward spiral that leads me back here now. She regrets it. Clearly, I can tell that by looking at her. I don't know what to think, what to say, what to do. Do I accept what she says, or do I run and leave everything behind? I see so much of my own mother in Kasumi, then again, they are sisters. The eyes are different, but apart from that, they look identical. They could have passed for twins back in the day. Just like me and Kaoru. The thought strikes me suddenly. What if I lost my own child and Kaoru in one go? I don't think I could handle it. Now, I've come to depend on Kaoru so much. He's the greatest brother you could ask for. Suddenly, I understand. The strain on Kasumi's mind. She's survived so long with that burden, that guilt. Just like my own mother, I suddenly see myself in Kasumi.
"I forgive you."