"I forgive you."
The room freezes. Kasumi and Kaoru stare at me like they can't believe those words came from my mouth. While a part of me will always resent Kasumi's effect on my life, this is a start. I see that guilt, resentment and pain in her eyes. I understand. I've been there, I still am there. Those are the words I want to hear most. She needs them too. Tears fall down Kasumi's face. She grips Kaoru tightly as she shakes. Kaoru, holding her, looks over to me and smiles, silently thanking me. My heart aches looking at Kasumi. The image starts to burn into my mind.
"Thank you." I hear her whisper. Kaoru moves, letting Kasumi sit upright. "Thank you." She repeats it at normal volume. Silence lingers in the room, as Kasumi wipes away her tears.
"How have you been?" She bites her lip, an effort to stay composed enough to speak.
"I've been better." And that better was a long time ago in the Satellite.
"I suppose that's better than nothing." Kasumi speaks in a lower volume now. I can hear Kaoru putting on the kettle in the kitchen. Kasumi was always been a firm believer of the 'if in doubt, give someone a hot drink' way of life. Admittedly, this is where my coffee addiction started. I take a good look around the sitting room. It's practically the same as I remember it. The television is different, bigger. It's quite old fashioned. This room looks like it belongs in an old person's house, not a single middle-aged woman with a grown-up kid. "What have been up to then? Your father's told me nothing." She glances at the door separating the sitting room and the kitchen. I look at the door. What has Kaoru told her?
"I was working as a seamstress for a while, though I just got fired."
"Fired?" She leans forward. "Why would you get fired?"
"It's a long story. Let's just say I had a disagreement with my boss' son." I spare Kasumi the long winded explanation. Raiden tried to kill me, I got fired for it. City logic at its finest.
"Was it to do with your mark?" She says it very quietly, almost like she didn't mean to say it at all.
"No, it was more to do with the psychic thing."
"Oh." Kasumi realises that she said that outloud. "Oh." This comes out quieter, almost like she's ashamed. She's probably regretting the whole 'shunning me for my powers' thing.
"I'm looking for a new job though." I hear Kaoru drop a spoon in the kitchen. Kasumi looks rather hopeful. "Not going well." Her face falls.
"Are they rejecting you outright?" She furrows her eyebrows.
"Sometimes." I sigh. "Sometimes they do take it, though I imagine they don't even look at my résumé."
"Oh that's terrible. The City and Satellite are one now, you shouldn't be having this problem." There's a sense of frustration in her voice. Though, she's just the same as everyone else.
"Yeah, but that's how things are now." Kaoru comes into the room. He hands me a black coffee, and hands Kasumi some form of a hot drink, before returning with his own green tea.
"You said you worked as a seamstress, right? Would you like to do something similar?"
"I mean, as long as I work in something related to fashion, I'll be happy."
"Fashion?" She furrows her eyebrow and her eyes dart like she's trying to remember something. "Well, hopefully you find something."
"That would be great, honestly." I sip on my coffee. Kasumi stays silent, I try she's still trying to remember something.
"Where are you living now? I think your dad mentioned something about you living by yourself." I freeze. Kasumi's eyes widen, realising that something is wrong.
"Well, after I lost my job, my landlord found out, then kicked me out."
"Geez, that's terrible." She looks to Kaoru in disbelief, he just shrugs his shoulders. I think he's starting to understand the problems I face as a marked person. "Where are you staying now?"
"I'm crashing on my friend's couch, though I'm looking to move out." A kind of shock shows on Kasumi's face.
"Well, you can move in here." I try to suppress a sigh. "Don't you give me that look. Without a job, you can't afford rent anywhere in this City because the price of rent has shot up after we joined with the Satellite."
"That's what I've been trying to say!" Kaoru finally speaks up after being silent for so long. Though, I wish he hadn't.
"Exactly." She nods at Kaoru. "At least stay here until you get a job and you're back on your feet."
"I don't know." I'm still hesitant. I'm not sure how I'll handle being back in this house full-time. Even sitting in this room for however long just brings back so many memories, and bad ones at that.
"I won't charge you a dime." That gets my attention. "I haven't touched your room, you can come and go as you please." She bows her head forward. "I'm sorry for how I treated you in the past. I promise you," she raises her head, "we'll work at it. I promise to be a better mother for you. I promise I won't be so controlling. I won't do all those things that I did wrong the first time." Her voice only becomes more forced, like she can barely form the words anymore. But the emotion is still there.
"Please. Just be my daughter again." Her voice quivers, she's on the edge of tears again. She looks me right in the eyes. A part of me wonders if I'll look more like Kasumi as I get older. Both of them look at me like they expect an answer. Admittedly, it sounds appealing. Living rent-free, able to come and go as I please. But still, Kasumi wants to be my mother. She will never be my mother. She stopped being my mother the minute she let me go. The very second Kyoko Hattori took me in her arms as a newborn. Should I just live the lie? I look at Kasumi's red-violet eyes again. I can't remember the eye colour of my mother, though I imagine it must have been something similar to that. That's what Kasumi wants, to have me as her child. No, that's what she needs. That sense of normality. Like no Zero Reverse or adoptions ever separated us. The more I look at Kasumi, the more I see myself. She has my nose. The magenta of my eyes closer to hers than anyone else's. Normality. Isn't that what I want too? Isn't she entitled to that? Just the way I am? What if I was in her place? Would anyone else give me that normality? Then, it strikes me. Yusei, Jack and Crow gave me that. Even though I slept on their couch. There was something so normal about me living there. Almost like it was natural, and it had always been that way. I'm grateful for that, I will always be grateful for that. Maybe I should give back. I received and received these last couple of weeks. Maybe it's time I gave back.
"Okay." My voice is quiet. Kasumi looks at me in shock. Tears start falling down her face. She wipes them away just as quick. She puts down her mug before standing up. She almosts runs over to me. She holds my head into her stomach. Her grip is tight. I exhale. I feel better than I thought I would. A small part, as much I deny it, feels like this is natural, like this is how it should have been. I grip her arm. I don't move it. It's almost as if I'm telling her that I feel the same.
I stand in Poppo Time staring at everything I own. Admittedly, it's more than I had when I arrived. I've managed to rope Crow into bringing everything over. He does deliveries, I'm merely paying him to do his job.
"I'm paying for this." I said. "That'll fund Jack's coffee spending for a day." I laugh.
"Don't remind me." He shakes his head, throwing the Blackbird Deliveries jacket on.
Now, I just stare at my D-Wheel next to Yusei's. I've gotten used to that view. It seems wrong to tear it apart. Yusei comes down the stairs into the garage with another cup of coffee.
"Crow's gone with your stuff?" He takes a sip.
"Yep, all that's left is my D-Wheel." I try to smile. I hate that I'm leaving. I don't want to leave. But then again, I can't sleep on their couch forever. I can see the same in Yusei's face. I don't think he wants me to leave either.
"We're going to miss you." I look up at him.
"Yeah." I smile, but it's a sad smile. "I mean, who else is going to cook for you three? I suppose you'll be back on the ramen diet by tonight." He laughs.
"I'm being serious."
"I was too. Please try to eat actual food, I don't want to ruin your stomach with all those chemicals." His mouth forms a harsh line. "I'll miss you too." There's a silence between us for a few beats. I sigh. "I better head. Crow's probably wondering where I am." I put my helmet on.
"Yeah." There's hesitation in his voice.
"I'll see you later, right?" I send him a smile.
"Yeah, see you later." He manages a smile. He pats the front of my D-Wheel before I head off. It feels weird leaving Poppo Time. I know I'll be back. I will be back. I just keep saying that to myself. Like I'd left Yusei leave my life again after everything that happened.
When I arrive at Kasumi's house, I see Kaoru helping Crow take the boxes inside. I park my D-Wheel in the garage, and take the last of my things upstairs. I leave everything in the corner. I'll find a place for everything eventually. Crow rushes out, heading to his next job. Kasumi gives Crow a large tip. I think she feels sorry for him. I'm bad enough with one small mark, I can't imagine what it's like for him with that many large marks all over his face. I throw myself on my double bed. I had forgotten how soft the mattress was. Kaoru still stands in the doorway, he sighs.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I lift my head up slightly to see him.
"You can read my thoughts, remember?" I can hear the roll of his eyes in his voice.
"I told you I don't like intruding on your thoughts." I lower my voice to a whisper. "Doesn't stop you though."
"I heard that."
"You were meant to."
"When is it happening?" He exhales through his nose.
"What?" I act oblivious. He takes that as a sign to close the door. I sit up, leaving room for Kaoru to sit down. He does.
"You said the whole gang thing would be happening after you moved out from Poppo Time."
"Kaoru, I literally finished moving in ten minutes ago."
"I know."
"Are you that excited?" I smirk, knowing how he'll react.
"No I'm not!" He rolls his eyes. "I just want to get this done and over with."
"Soon." I sigh. "It'll happen soon."
"How is it working with the whole Yuudai thing though?"
"I'll be wearing my Yuudai disguise as we do this. That way, no one will know it's me."
"Are you sure?" There's some hesitation in his voice.
"The only other person who knows that I'm secretly Yuudai is Raiden. Shinji doesn't even know, and I want to keep it that way." Kaoru looks uncertain but he doesn't say anything. "We'll be wearing masks. We want to be our identities a secret, so we'll be wearing wigs too." Kaoru seems slightly relieved, but not much. "Don't worry. We've got a strong team. Go in, defeat the boss, next team. Nothing too dangerous or scary." At least I hope. "No one's going to find out our identities."
"I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about this." He furrows his eyebrows.
"You're just a worrywart." I laugh.
"No, I'm realistic. Something is probably going to go wrong, and I don't want you getting hurt."
"We'll be fine. If Team Satisfaction done it before, why can't we do it again?"
"Because we're not Team Satisfaction." He's picked at my memories enough to know who they are. Will he ever give me a moment's peace? "They did it to make the Satellite a better place. You're doing it so you get to leave. Your heart's not in it, this isn't going to work."
My heart's not in it? Of course it is. This is my freedom we're talking about here. Not some arbitrary thing. My freedom, my life, everything. I'm doing to protect everyone. So, I don't drag them into this mess that I made. If my heart isn't in this, then I don't know what is.