It's a few days before I can bear to show my face in Poppo Time garage. Just long enough that my injuries from the battle with the Jackals have faded away. I refuse to take off my jacket, there's still a faint outline of some scars on my arm. Try not to arouse suspicion. That's my one job. I don't want other people getting involved in this.
Kaoru actually joins me when I head to Poppo Time. Emiko was busy, he said. I notice the lack of the Yusei Go when I enter the garage. It's quite early so there's no other visitors. I find Jack and Crow, sans uniform, in the kitchen.
"Yusei gone to get parts again?" I ask as Crow fill the kettle.
"Yep, he should be back soon. Coffee?" He asks Kaoru and I, while filling the kettle. I, of course, agree, while Kaoru asks for tea, as normal. Crow talks about the workload he had the day before, apparently business was picking up despite it being the middle of January. Considering it's neither Christmas nor Valentine's Day, it's quite strange.
All of a sudden, I feel like I'm forgetting something. I didn't leave the oven on, or an iron. I didn't leave the sink running, or leave any lights on. Y'know, the typical things you'd forget.
"I feel like I'm forgetting something." I stare into my coffee, as if that would help.
"I can't think of anything." Kaoru says. He would know, with him insisting to never leave me alone.
"As weird as it sounds, it's the strongest when I look at Crow's face." I get confused looks from everyone in the room.
"Did you forget to say something to him?" Kaoru pipes up.
"No, it's more like I forget something, it's something I did or I said." I sigh.
"When was the last time you saw Crow before you came over for lunch before your accident?" I know what Jack is referring to then."You said there was a gap in your memory." Not to Jack anyway. Yusei must have told him.
"Oh then?" Kaoru nods, moving his hand in front of his mouth.
"I keep forgetting you know about that." Crow remarks. "Then again, I keep forgetting that you two are telepaths." I was looking at Crow. It was after my duel ended, before I died. I said something to Yusei. It's what makes him act really weird sometimes. What could I have said?
"Just imagine you told him you loved him or something." Kaoru laughs. I start to laugh nervously, dreading the idea of it. Then, it hits me. Kaoru's face freezes, realising how right he is. It's a blur, but I put my coffee cup on the counter and proceed to slowly lower myself to the floor.
"Is she okay?" Crow asks, hesitant.
"No." I can hear the uncertainty in Kaoru's voice. Everything fades out, as I continue in a downward spiral of thoughts. It makes so much sense. I looked at Crow to avoid looking at Yusei while I said it. Yusei acting weird around me whenever that time gets brought up. That indescribable look in his eye.
"I told you." Jack says, like he predicted everything.
"Excuse me, I'm the one who's been saying it for years." I can almost hear the pointed look in Crow's voice. "Should we help her up?" I can tell Crow's eyes are on me.
"Leave her there." I guess Kaoru is shrugging his shoulders, judging by his tone. Crow steps over me on his way down to the couch.
Eventually, I sit up. Kaoru's nagging at me in my head. Nobody brings up what caused me to have a slightly mental breakdown.
Jack and Crow made a bet. I almost want to hide my face in my hands, despite the fact I'm holding a cup of cold coffee in my hands. It's about how soon Yusei and you become a couple. I nearly spit out said coffee. I get glances from Jack and Crow, probably waiting on another breakdown. Then, they realise it's probably the telepathy thing.
The one day I show up happens to be the day that Shinji pops in for a visit. Strange. He claims to just be popping in for a chat. Reika's in work, while he's off. That time is usually spent with me, but since I actually talk to other people beside him now, he's found other people.
"You know that Yuudai kid you put in charge of Black Flag?" He randomly says this out of the blue, as I sip coffee number gods know how many. I'm starting to think this isn't a coincidence. "Apparently, he's gone taking over all of the gangs in the City. Takumi told me he took out the Jackals the other day. They're calling themselves Team Liberation." I sip my coffee, trying to hide any sign of emotion.
"Oh yeah, he mentioned something like that. I'm just letting him do his own thing, it's none of my business anymore."
"I still can't believe Raiden just pissed off like that and left you in charge, knowing you had wanted to leave." Crow frowns.
"He's like that." I raise my eyebrows and shrug my shoulders. I'm used to such moves from him. I hear Aki exhale from her nostrils.
"He done some serious damage to you." She speaks up. She looks away like she's speaking her innermost thoughts. Thoughts that have been swimming around in her head for a while. "He was really trying to hurt you, wasn't he?" Gazes are split between Aki and I. It's silent.
"He was." She doesn't need to say more. Aki knows from experience. She knows far too well what a psychic can do if they're pushed far enough. The conversation moves on, whether it's for Aki's sake or mine, I don't know.
I manage to catch Aki alone later, just before she leaves. I offer to walk her home, at least for a little bit. She shivers and tries to hide in her scarf. I take off my coat and offer to her, she drapes it around her shoulders.
"Are those scars?" She stares at my bare arms.
"Yeah, still haven't quite gone away yet." She narrows her eyes ever so slightly that I barely notice. I raise my eyebrows, Aki shakes her head and keeps looking forward. Has she figured something out? She couldn't have, but there was revelation on her face. "Are you doing okay?" She sighs deeply.
"It's just that talking about Raiden earlier made me think about Divine." Her eyebrow furrows and she looks away.
"I told you, don't be afraid of his memory." Aki bites her lip. "As much as the things he did were horrible, he was a part of your life and you need to recognise that." She nods.
"I know that, but a part of me is terrified." I turn to look at her. "After everyone reappeared, we couldn't find him. I'm scared that, one day, he's going to show up. I don't know what I'd do. Would I go back to the way I was? Or something else entirely?" She becomes quiet as she loses herself in the thoughts swirling around in her head.
"I'm in the same boat." I pout. "I suppose all we could do is show them how far we've come and that we won't be going back. It's all we can do really." She nods, but stays quiet.
"Aren't you cold?" She asks after some silence.
"Not really," I shrug my shoulders, "the cold's never really bothered me." It's true, I've been out on a cold winter's day in just a dress. It confuses people, I think living in the Satellite stopped me feeling the cold. Aki nods again, probably thinking the same.
"Can you not tell anyone that I said that?" I look at her, she refuses to meet my eyes.
"Tell anyone what?"
"About Divine. I'm afraid what everyone will think if they knew I still think about Divine a lot more than I should. They'd probably think I'm still the Witch deep down and abandon me." There's genuine fear in her eyes.
"I know what you mean." I feel the emotions I'm trying to suppress rising up. "Don't be afraid. They love you and accept you for you, they wouldn't do that. Maybe the Witch is still a part of you, just like that Dark Signer part of me will always be there." Aki's eyes dart to me. I'm still playing the part of having forgotten what happened. She thought that I don't remember. "You can't change you, so you keep going."
"You remember what happened?" Her voice is quiet.
"It's why I can never sleep. I can't get to sleep because I keep thinking of Raiden, and I can't stay asleep because I keep having dreams about that time." I sigh. "People will find out eventually. All you can really do is accept that this is the state you're in and try to get better. They won't abandon you, I know that much." I remember Yusei calming me down after one of my dreams. We've come so far, I doubt he could let me go now.
"I see." Aki stays quiet. Her aura is so soft and delicate, almost like a gentle piano melody, but I can still feel the gears turning in her mind. We stay quiet, enjoying the relative silence that only a winter's night can bring.
I end up walking Aki to her door. She hands me my jacket back and I quickly throw it on, not admitting that I was starting to get cold.
"Thank you." She smiles, I open my mouth to reply but she beats me to it. "For everything." I smile, realising what she means.
"That's what friends are for." She seems taken aback by me calling us friends.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right." She seems almost giddy by the prospect. "Night."
Thankfully, Aki's house isn't that far from my own. I guess that's what happens when you live in the rich suburbs. Even though, where I'm staying is nowhere the size of Aki's mansion. Kaoru's not home by the time I get in the door. Kasumi jumps up off the sofa, once the door closes behind me.
"Welcome home, honey." I take my boots off. I keep my jacket on, hiding the scars on my arms. "I was doing some spring cleaning today and-"
"I don't really count January as spring." Kasumi scoffs and waves her hand.
"There's no harm in starting early. Anyway," her tones changes, "I found this." She holds up a pink choker. I look at the choker, and then back up to Kasumi's face. She holds the same smile, expecting me to realise the significance of the choker. I blink a few times, waiting for her to continue. "You don't know what this is?" I shake my head and she pouts. "It was a gift to me from Kyoko." A gift from my mother. It feels me with a strange feeling. I suppose with it being one of the last things tied to her on this Earth. "Chokers were never really my thing, so I was thinking…" Her pitch changes a little bit, I catch on to what she means. She giggles, I imagine I must look like a deer in headlights. "Turn around, turn around." I pull up my ponytail, letting Kasumi put the choker around my neck and close it in the back. I turn around back to her. Her mouth forms a small o shape. A look of nostalgia spreads across her face. "I-it's looks great. It goes well with your eyes."
"Thank you." It's all I can manage to get out. I press my fingertips to the choker. A small gesture, but in a way, I feel a lot closer to my mother.
"Do you want me to put on dinner?" Kasumi starts heading into the kitchen.
"Are we not waiting for Kaoru to get home?" Just as I finish saying that, the door opens behind me.
"You called?" Kaoru pokes his head in the door, waiting for me to move out of the way so he can get it in.
"Okay, I'm just gonna put the dinner on." Kasumi rolls her eyes and vanishes into the kitchen.
"That's cool." I say. Kaoru gestures upstairs, he seems quite serious. I nod, and head upstairs. Kaoru sits on the chair by my sewing machine, I cross my legs while sitting on the bed.
"I was talking to Kenta." I sigh.
"I figured."
"What? How did you know?" Kaoru's wide-eyed.
"He seemed very unhappy with me the last time we see each other." Kaoru nods, catching my drift. "Lemme guess, strategy?"
"Yeah, he's seems pretty pissed. I mean, we were in an awful state after that." That is true. I pull up my sleeves and look at my arms. There seems to be an improvement in the scars, they're healing at least. "He thinks we should go for the more diplomatic approach." I lie back on the bed.
"Seems fair. Though that's not my strong suit." I pout. "Takumi can take care of that, he's good at that kinda thing."
"Is that necklace new?" Kaoru asks.
"Yeah, it was a gift from my mother to Kasumi apparently."
"Okay." That's all he says.
"No wonder you don't have a girlfriend."
"Don't." I laugh, Kaoru doesn't want me bringing up the subject. He hasn't said anything out loud, but I know.
"Normally, you'd compliment a girl on something new." I smirk.
"Okay, I'm going. Bye." He closes the door behind him.
"See you at dinner." I call after him. I hear Kaoru's door close. I turn onto my side and sigh.
Yusei knows that I love him. I wouldn't have said that before everything happened. But staying at Poppo Time made me realise it. Getting to look at him everyday, hearing his voice everyday. Having coffee with him, seeing him smile. Daily reminders that I'm hopelessly in love with Yusei Fudo. It's only a matter of time, I keep thinking to myself. Before he says something, before my little bubble of bliss bursts. It's only a matter of time.