"You'd swear that we aren't friends anymore." Shinji says out of the blue.
"I told you, I've been busy." It's true. Between fighting gangs and patrolling what territory we have, I barely have any time. Seeing anyone outside of Yusei, Team Liberation and anyone at Poppo Time is hard. Shinji included. Even though, he is supposedly my best friend. "How about this?" I hold up some shirts for him to look at. Shinji doesn't complain when I drag him shopping, I like that about him. Kaoru would just complain the entire time.
"That one's cute." He points at the white shirt that I'm holding up. "But still."
"I'm sorry." I throw the shirt in my basket. "We should be able to spend time together soon." Only one gang left. I hear Takumi's voice in my head. I wonder if Shinji knows. He goes to say something, then stops. I look at him, but he shakes his head.
"I mean, we can spend time together soon." I look at him with a raised eyebrow.
"What's your master plan now Shinji?" Shinji's plans typically end with me crying in bed, swearing off alcohol for a whopping two days.
"Have you heard the news from Kaoru?" What has Kaoru done now?
"What news?" Honestly, I'm a little scared.
"We've formed a team for the WRGP and-"
"No." My tone is definite.
"Ah, why not?" Shinji pouts and crosses his arms. "You haven't even listened to me."
"I don't like people watching me while I'm dueling." I look around me before lowering my voice. "After my duel with you-know-who, I'm not exactly confident in my ability to control my powers."
"Oh." Shinji mutters. He stays silent, so I go back to looking at the sale rack. "We need a benchwarmer, so you're always welcome."
"Ask Emiko." I say. "She'd want to be on a team with Kaoru, and she's a better duelist. I've never won against her, so you'd want her instead."
"Actually, she's already on the team. We were thinking..." Shinji trails off.
"Ask Anako." I cut him off. "Reika's in your pit crew, yeah? She'll agree." Shinji looks like he hadn't thought of that. Even though they had both Kaoru and Reika on their team. Then again, Emiko is there and hates having Anako anywhere near Kaoru.
"I suppose." He says. "We actually wanted to have you, Kaoru and Emiko as our main three, with myself as a benchwarmer."
"Not going to happen." I pick a pair of khaki coloured skinny jeans. "I'm already in the pit crew for another team anyway." I sigh at the fake front pockets, then I realise that's why it's in the sale rack.
"Yusei!" Shinji throws his hands up dramatically. "Should have guessed."
"Shut up."
"What's the deal with you two anyway?" Shinji raises an eyebrow at me.
"Nothing, I told you to shut up." I can feel my cheeks heating up. Shinji grins. I lower my eyes to the basket. He starts laughing. "I'm gonna pay for my shit now." No one can know, I think. He'd tell Kaoru, and then I'd have a blood splatter for a boyfriend.
I camp out on the Poppo Time couch until everyone except Yusei has gone to sleep. They stayed awake for a lot longer today. They're so excited for the WRGP, bless them.
I'm going to go see Martha tomorrow. That thought terrifies me. It's been so long since I've seen her. I've put it off for so long. I say that I don't know why. But I do. I don't know how she'll react. Does she even want to see me? Does she know that I became a Dark Signer? Yusei told me that she knows about them, but does she know about me? Yusei tries to convince that she would want to see me, despite that. As bad as it sounds, I don't believe him. The Dark Signers killed Martha. Why would she want one turning up on her doorstep again? I wouldn't. It would just be a painful reminder of that time. I don't want to inflict that on the woman that saved my life.
Dark Signers.
Even thinking about them brings back horrid memories. I stand up to go to bed. I can't bear to say anything to Yusei. I go into Yusei's room and sit down on the bed. I throw my jacket on the floor beside me. No tears fall, surprisingly, but they still threaten to. I rub my eyes. The door opens again. Yusei closes the door behind him. My back immediately straightens, my hands resting in my lap. His eyes drop from my face to my bare arms.
"What's wrong with your arms?" I stare down at my arms. A gasp escapes my mouth. The scars from the other day are still there. Definitive proof that I'm still in a gang. Unmistakable. Parts of my arm looked burnt, while other have jagged cuts. "Yuuka." Yusei's tone has me on edge. I look him in the eyes, he knows.
"Nothing, just some scars."
"They weren't there the other day." I can't lie. He knows. I stayed here the other day. He saw my arms then. I can't get out of this. I have to come clean. I can't speak, my body is frozen. "Yuuka." His tone is pleading. He moves towards me.
"I-I'm sorry." The words keep falling from my mouth. My chest feels tight. I've fucked up.
"Yuuka, it's okay." Yusei sits beside me and puts his arm around me. I grab onto his shirt. My body shakes. "I know." I jump back up and lower my hands slowly.
"You know?"
"I know." He nods slowly. "You're part of Team Liberation, and you saved me that one day."
"I'm sorry." I repeat again. "I didn't want to lie to you, but I had to. I did it to keep you safe."
"But why did you join? You promised me that you were done with gangs." So many emotions flicker in Yusei's eyes.
"I almost destroyed the City once. For once in my life, I wanted to do some good." My fists ball up. "This is the only thing I know how to do, heck, the only thing I can do."
"But you're putting yourself in danger. I know Ghost didn't attack you that time, it was someone from a gang." I start to shrivel up. "You could have died. Yuuka, I can't bear to lose you again."
"But I have to!" I try keeping my voice down, but it's hard. "Can't you understand?"
"I do." There's something in Yusei's eyes. I've never seen it before. "But you can't go putting yourself in trouble like that. What if something happened to you?"
"If I don't do this, I don't know what will happen to me." I think about the time before Yusei found me. I push those memories back before the tears come back.
"But you have to think of other people, Yuuka." His tone is stern. The look in his eyes forces me to meet them. "You can't just think about yourself anymore."
I stay silent for a while. I can't say anything. I move my lips, but no words come out. Yusei's face becomes softer. He pulls me in for a hug again. This time, I cry. I think about Yusei's words. He doesn't want to lose me. He's already suffered that pain twice. I don't want to put him through that. I never want to leave him. I never want to hurt him. I'm sure I've left some deep scars in my time. But never again. I swore that to myself after all was said and done.
"I'm sorry." Yusei says after awhile. "I didn't mean to be so harsh."
"It's okay." I mutter. "I needed it."
Yusei pulls back from the hug and rests his hands on my shoulders. "If you need my help, don't be afraid to ask for it, okay?" His eyes are soft now. I nod.
"You'd know about those things." I laugh as I wipe tears away.
"That's true." He chuckles.
"I love you." I cling onto him.
"I love you too." He says back. I feel my face light up. "Do you want to go to sleep?" He asks after awhile of just being in each other's arms.
"Not really. Can't sleep after I cry." I say, rubbing my eyes. I'm tired, but I'm just not able to go asleep. I'm just used to it at this point of my life.
"Okay." He says. To my surprise, he stays upstairs with me. I tell him about what Shinji asked me today. Apparently he's not surprised, people would want a good duelist like me on their team. My face heats up a bit at that comment. I'd call myself mediocre at best, I say. Yusei reckons they'd make a good team though. Kaoru and Emiko are both powerhouse duelists. Emiko is considering going pro once she graduates, she told me that the last time we met up for lunch. I reckon Shinji asked her around that time. From what I've heard, they've become quite close. Outgoing extroverts do flock together I suppose.
It's nice. Just sitting here, talking with Yusei in the early hours of the morning. Despite everything, he makes me feel safe, like nothing's wrong. If that isn't an accomplishment, then I don't know what is.
The Satellite is so different now. You almost wouldn't recognise it. Then again, the last time that I was here, I was so overcome with grief that most of it is a blur. We ride over a smooth highway on the way to Martha's. Amazing, considering how the only infrastructure here six months ago was abandoned underground tunnels.
"It's changed a lot!" Crow says.
"Yeah. It's no longer Satellite." Yusei says in response. He's wrong. This will always be the Satellite, no matter how time passes and as much as they say we are equal. Those eighteen years have carved their legacy into this place.
"The power of the citizens is rebuilding this City." Jack comments. No, just Jack's savings. This can only happen if you throw enough money at the problem.
I keep quiet for the rest of the ride. What am I even going to say? I grip the handles tighter in an effort to keep my hands from shaking. I take deep breaths. We pull up outside of Martha's. A sense of nostalgia washes over me. It's basically been five years since I've seen this place. Three kids run up to us.
"Crow!" One kid calls. Oh, they're Crow's kids. Should have guessed. "Long time no see!" The girl says. "Yusei and Jack are also here!" Another boy calls out. Martha and Saiga stand behind the kids. Why the heck is Saiga here? In Martha's of all places. I thought he was back in his old place, considering Takumi got him to cover some of our Team Liberation stuff.
"Thanks for coming, Yusei, Crow, Jack." Saiga greets the guys. Yusei takes his helmet off.
"And who have you brought with you?" Martha asks, moving so she can get a better look at me. My entire body stiffens. I take my helmet off, shaking. I put on my best smile, but I feel like it just comes off as awkward. Her eyes widen a little. "Well, if isn't Yuuka!" Her eyes to go to meet Yusei's, but he looks away.
"You seem to have settled in." Yusei turns his attention back to Saiga. I stare at Yusei. What's wrong with him?
"It's comfortable. I like living here." I'm just confused. Why is he here? We get off our D-Wheels. I want to cling to my helmet in order to calm my nerves but I can't do that.
"Are you kids behaving?" Crow bends down to the kids' level.
"Of course!" The older boy says.
"We're even doing our homework everyday." The girl chirps.
"Are you giving Martha a hard time?" Crow gives a smile to Martha.
"They're better kids than when you were a child." Martha doesn't miss a beat. Probably true. Crow and I caused so much trouble over the years. It's a wonder how she dealt with us for so long.
"Ouch!" Crow scratches the back of his neck and laughs. He knows it's the truth though. He couldn't deny that.
"Enough chitchat. Let's go inside." Martha says.
Martha goes into the dining room to talk to Dr. Schmidt. She pats me on the shoulder, telling me that she'll talk to me later. We end up standing around Saiga on his laptop. He brings up pictures of the meteor wreckage.
"There's something I wanted to tell you. You heard that a meteor landed on the City outskirts, right?" Saiga turns around to ask the guys. I lean against the far wall with my arms crossed. Martha didn't react badly to me showing up, but I'm still nervous. Such feelings wouldn't dissolve in a second.
"Yeah." Yusei answers.
"That area is off-limits." Crow says.
"I heard a strange rumour." Saiga zooms in on the picture, getting a closeup look at the site.
"Strange rumour?" Jack muses.
"It wasn't a meteor, but a stone tablet. The Public Security Maintenance Department secretly retrieved it." Of course they're involved. For a split second, I thought they might be better with the City united and Godwin gone, but no.
"A stone tablet? Come to think of it, that's when Ghost appeared." I shrivel up a little as Yusei brings up Ghost. I can't help it.
"Are they related?" Crow ponders.
"It's Public Security Maintenance Department. I wouldn't doubt it." I say. Everyone looks at me.
"I don't know." Saiga sighs. "But I feel that something is happening in the shadows."
"Ghost has the power to seal away Synchro Monsters." Yusei says. I shiver at the thought of the Synchro killer.
"Whatever you do, don't let your guard down." Saiga says. The guys all agree. I say nothing. Ghost strikes a fear deep in my core. I couldn't let my guard down if I could.
"Right. Let's go check on Martha." Crow starts walking towards the dining room. I don't object and just follow everyone.
"You doing alright, Sasaki?" Saiga asks as we move between rooms. "I assume you're out of the business, since Kimura jumped ship?" I get a little shiver as Raiden is brought up.
"Yep, 'bout time I got out really." Saiga hums in agreement, but says nothing. I know what he's doing. He's seeing if he can bring up Team Liberation, but no.
"How troubling…" Martha says as we enter the room.
"Tetsuzo is pretty old." Dr. Schmidt says, sitting across from Martha at the dinner table.
"What's up?" Crow casually greets them and the kids like Martha didn't specifically leave us to have this conversation.
"Hello everyone." There's a worried tone to Martha's voice.
"Martha is worried." One of the kids say.
"What's wrong?" Yusei asks.
"An old man is living by himself at the outskirts of the former City. We're worried because he's all alone, so we invited him to live here." Dr. Schmidt explains.
"But he's stubborn, so he won't agree." Martha continues. Old people can be really stubborn sometimes.
"Crow, you have to do something." One of Crow's kids pipes up.
"Me? Convincing an old man isn't my-" Crow throws his hands up in defense.
"Yeah, Crow won't be able to do it." The other boy says.
"Yeah, he can't." The girl chime in.
"Totally impossible." The oldest boy says with a devious grin on his face.
"What do you mean, impossible? I'll show you! I'll take care of that old man!" I sigh. You can get Crow to do anything.
"Oi Crow…" I hear the hesitation in Jack's voice.
"Leave everything to me! Where's that old man?" I look at Yusei, who just kinda deadpans back at me. Why is Crow like this? That's what his face says right now.
"Crow never changes." I hear the kids whispering. "It's easy to manipulate him." I shake my head. Crow gives in too easy for his own good.
I don't join the guys and Saiga as they go off to convince Old Man Tetsuzo to come out of hiding. Dr. Schmidt has other appointments to deal with. Crow's kids start dueling at the dinner table, which leaves myself and Martha in the kitchen. My hands start shaking again. Martha makes me some hot water and lemon. She doesn't have coffee in the house, it doesn't agree with her, she says. And I can't stand tea, never have. I used to drink lots of hot water and lemon back in the day, then I got addicted to coffee.
"I knew you had gotten yourself arrested." Martha says as she sits down. Her hip is paining her, I can tell that by how she moves. "You always had a knack for getting into trouble. Always said it was a matter of time until Security got involved." She smiles, almost to herself. It falters for a second.
"I think we all said that." Martha nods and shakes her head, but I know she agrees with me.
"Where did they send you after you got arrested? Yusei never told me the details." I gulp.
"Apparently, I had living family in the City. So I got sent to live with them. I heard some strings were pulled." Martha hums.
"You're very lucky, to find your real family after so long."
"I guess." I sigh. Martha looks at me funny so I continue. "My birth mom wasn't the most accepting at first. I've only patched things up with her recently." I start chewing my cheek at the thought of Kasumi. I push away the bad memories. "I have a brother who's around Jack's age."
"Oh, really? Tell me about him."
"Hmm…" I ponder. What can you even say about him? "His name is Kaoru. He's a giant dork, very overprotective."
"I think that's what you need." Martha laughs. "Tell him that he's welcome to come over anytime, I'd love to meet him." I smile.
"I'm sure he'd like that." My smile falters. "How much did Yusei tell you?" Something in Martha's face changes.
"It was after the war with the Dark Signers." My fingers twitch. "He told you that you were on the side of the Dark Signers." I stay silent. "You had gotten arrested, and had come back to find him. He blames himself."
"I know he blames himself. I've told him not to."
"And you should blame yourself either." Martha looks me right in the eyes. "I know you do. I don't know how things went down, but if you two keep blaming yourselves, nothing is going to change." She sighs. "Yusei carries a lot of burden that he doesn't need to. I imagine that you've turned out the same. Let the past stay in the past. There's no point dwelling on what you can't change."
I nod, and Martha sighs. The kids come into the kitchen looking for lunch. Martha checks the time, saying that it's a reasonable time for lunch. She goes to stand up, but I beat her to the punch. She sighs, settling on just telling me what to make. I reheat some soup for everyone. There's a lot less kids here than I remember. Martha says it's because things have become a lot more stable. The first ten years or so after the Zero Reverse were rough, because they were so many young families living in this area. Before the unification, almost no children were being born. No one wanted to bring a child into an environment like the Satellite. Things are starting to look up now, she says.
I end up having lunch with Martha and all the kids at the dinner table. Crow's kids sure are a wild bunch. Though they are better behaved than Crow and I ever were. I gave them some boosters packs that I had never opened. You'd have sworn it was Christmas. But now, I've been dubbed Big Sis by them so now I feel all happy inside.
I realise that it's the first time I've talked about that time without crying. Normally, bringing up anything to do with the Dark Signers causes me to breakdown. It's gotten better recently. There's just a few tears now. I suppose that's the case since I'm dating Yusei now. He makes me feel a lot better about myself as a whole. My almost daily mental breakdowns come every once in awhile. I can bear to talk about the Satellite now. He really is a miracle worker, even just by existing, he does so much.
I help Martha around the house for the rest of the day. I let her rest. The wrinkles in her face have only become more prominent. After all these years, she still somehow manages to get by with a full house of kids. I think I'd finish my time with my own kids and just give up, except the possible grandkids of course. Raising kids takes a lot of work, I know that. Some people can barely manage one child. But Martha, dozens of kids must have come through this house in the years since the Zero Reverse. That's why I've always admired Martha. She's so strong, she's what I aspire to be.
The guys show up again in the afternoon, with old man towing along. Apparently Crow dueled him on an old-fashioned dueling ring and managed to convince him to come to Martha's. I didn't think he'd actually do it. Yusei disagrees, but I think he's lying.
By sunset, the old man manages to make a Stardust Dragon statue from junk. I question as to why it was Stardust Dragon and not one of Crow's monsters. You know, because Crow was the one that dueled him. Yusei says it's because he has a Junk deck like the old man, which just confuses me more. Then again, Stardust Dragon is more aesthetically pleasing than anything in Crow's deck. Yusei looks so good at sunset, I realise. I end up staring at him, though I don't think anyone notices.
"Oh, Crow, perfect timing. Massage my shoulders, would you? They've really gotten stiff." Old man Tetsuzo starts climbing down from the statue after finishing it.
"Eh!? Why me!?" Crow exclaims.
"You dummy. 'Cause, obviously, massaging dad's shoulders is a son's duty." Apparently Tetsuzo has adopted all of the guys. I imagine somewhere my dad is feeling replaced.
"Aw, brother…" Crow sighs, having dug that hole for himself.
"You heard him, Crow." Yusei pushes Crow in the direction of Tetsuzo. I find this funnier that I should. Yusei turns and smiles at me.
"You doing okay?" He asks me.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Yusei looks away from me for a split second.
"My little talk with Martha went okay." He knew I was pretty anxious about this. It's nice to know that he thinks about me.
"That's good." He sighs a little sigh of relief. I hear Tetsuzo yelping in pain from Crow's massage. We all laugh at their exchange. Yusei's shoulder brush off mine. How I wish I could wrap my arms around him and let the world know how much I love this man. That's all I want to do in that moment.
A/N: You may notice the new cover art done by yours truly! The new one's a lot less crowded and is just a lot prettier since my art style has changed since September when I drew the last one.