There's suddenly a distance between Yusei and I that wasn't there before. I know why it's there, but I can't really do anything to stop it happening. I have to lie when Yusei asks me about what happened when I disappeared. He knows there's more to the story than I wandered around the Spirit World for a while. He knows that I'm lying to him, but he can't make me spill the truth. I can never tell him about what I was told. Yusei Fudo is doomed to die unless I do anything. He walks to his death willingly, some sort of self-sacrifice I imagine. If he learns about this, his death is a certainty. I'm doing this because I love him and I can't afford to lose him. I am more than willing to die in his place for this to happen. The world would miss him, I would miss him. He has so much more to give to this world, his potential is endless. Me? I'll never do anything or be as great as him. The world needs him more than it needs me.
"Yusei, you still love me, right?" I say out of the blue.
"Of course I do." He answers without any hesitation. "Otherwise, we wouldn't be dating."
"I just gotta make sure sometimes, y'know, general trust issues." I sigh, putting my book down.
"I know, it's okay."
"We can tell each other anything, right?" I mutter, the imagery of the other me clear in my head.
"Yeah, we already do. You have something in mind?" He looks at me like he knows what I want to talk about. He's not wrong. "You don't have to tell me anything that you don't want to, I'm not forcing you to do anything."
"I appreciate that." I answer. Yusei is different from Raiden, I have to keep reminding myself. No matter how drastic their personalities are, sometimes the bad stuff is too horrible to forget.
"I love you." He says. There's rare moments where Yusei's face fully expresses what he's actually feeling. This is one of those times. He loves me despite my many flaws. I realise that, but my trust issues don't listen to reason and logic.
"I love you too, honey."
I shift awkwardly in the dress that I bought for Christmas. Emiko invited me over to her house on such short notice, this was the only suitable thing I could find. Anyone else, I would just wear my normal clothes, but no, Emiko's house is different. Her dad is a well known politician, while her mother was a model back in the day. Their house lives and breathes success. Needless to say, a riding jacket and jeans wouldn't be a great choice. I decided to wear heels today, a plain pair of black pumps that I borrowed from Kasumi, a plus of having the same large foot size. I take a deep breath before knocking on the door. Emiko opens the door, her face beaming.
"Yuuka!" She opens the door wider, letting me in. "Hi hi! Come in." Emiko leads me down the giant hallway into the dining room. Her father stands from the table to shake my head.
"Hello Yuuka, it's been a very long since you last came over. We're glad to have you back." He has a real politician handshake, putting his other hand over mine. With his slicked back, black hair and pale skin, you'd doubt this man was actually related to Emiko. They only share their trademark bright gold eyes. Every other feature Emiko got from her mother.
"Thank you for having me, Mr. Higashiyama." I bow my head slightly. I don't dare call him by first name despite the fact I've known him for years. I have the feeling he could ruin my life if he wanted to.
"It's good to see you, child." Emiko's mother hugs me tight. She always been warmer than her husband who seems to hold everything, except his wife, at arm's length.
"It's good to see you too." I smile, pulling back out of the hug.
"C'mon now." She says, ushering me to a seat next to Emiko. "I'm cooking something I used to have all the time back in Hawaii. I know you'll like it a lot."
"Is it Chicken Long Rice?" I gasp, remembering all of the times I've had it before.
"Yes." She laughs at my excited expression. "I knew you'd be excited for it. It's just ready now." I stand up again to help her. "Sit, you're our guest." She hurries into the kitchen, well as fast as you can afford to in high heels. She's unusually short for a model. I'm taller than Emiko's entire family, even with the girls in high heels. It's truly a house of short people.
"Since this is a special evening, Leilani decided to cook for us." Mr. Higashiyama explains.
"I am very grateful." I smile. "Is it just us four tonight?"
"Yes." Leilani sets bowls in front of me and Mr. Higashiyama. "Megumi, our eldest, just moved in with her boyfriend. She just had a child, a beautiful little girl. And the twins are staying over at their friend's house tonight. They got tickets to that match tomorrow. Team 5D's versus Team Taiyou, I think it was?"
"Yes, I believe it was that one, dear." Mr. Higashiyama nods.
"Yuuka is actually in the pit crew for Team 5D's!" Emiko looks between her parents, smiling.
"Oh yes, that's right." Leilani puts a finger to her lips as she goes back into the kitchen. "I remember Emiko saying that's why you didn't join her team."
"It was a shame." I say. "Would have been nice, but I had already promised the other guys."
"Speaking of which." Leilani puts the bowls down for herself and Emiko, before sitting down. "Emiko? How's Kaoru doing? We've haven't heard from him in a while." She picks up her spoon so I do the same.
"Even though we're on the same team, I haven't really heard from him either." Emiko just pokes her food with her spoon.
"Weren't you two talking about dating?" Leilani tilts her head.
"Yeah, but he likes someone else now." Emiko sighs deeply.
"Wait what? He's never told me this." I say, raising my eyebrows at Emiko. "Who is it?" I try to think of who it could be. The only people I can think of are Anako and Aki, but they don't seem likely.
"He told me not to tell you." I tilt my head with wide eyes.
"Did he now?"
"Don't worry, sweetie. You deserve better than him." Mr. Higashiyama chips in. "Sorry Yuuka."
"Nah, he deserves it." I say as Emiko continues to poke her food with her spoon, visibly upset.
"Now Yuuka, with all the changes after the unification of the City and Satellite, how do you feel about this?" Mr. Higashiyama changes the topic of conversation with ease. "We're trying very hard to make this transition as easy as we can for everyone."
"I mean," My eyes widen slightly, "It could have been handled better in all honestly."
"Oh really?" Mr. Higashiyama tries to hide the surprise on his face. "How so?"
"Well, the consequences of the whole maneuver weren't thought out fully." I bite the inside of my cheek as I try to form the right words. I can't offend a politician so high up on the scale. "There wasn't enough property to handle the influx of people into the City because there was nothing suitable in the Satellite. This causes lots of traffic. But with the new highways, I think that problem will be solved after the WRGP. Then, there weren't enough jobs for the people of the Satellite, which is why the unemployment rate skyrocketed. I haven't been able to get even a part-time job since the union because of my mark, despite the fact, my crimes have been pardoned. There's also no way for the people of the Satellite to educate themselves. Most of the people of the Satellite are uneducated, so there's only a small number of jobs catered to them. Which is why the unemployment rate has stabilised at such a high number. I think offering some sort of fast track education system for them would solve that problem."
"That's an interesting proposal." Mr. Higashiyama moves a hand to his mouth. "You're certainly brave for bringing up those issues. An anti-discrimination act will need to be brought forth, I reckon."
"That would help the problem at least." I say.
"I'll see what I can do. Our parliament isn't so easily swayed on such matters."
"I'm aware." I've listened to Kasumi talk politics before, I think she took a politics module back in college.
"But, thank you Yuuka. I knew you'd give a fair overview of the situation." He smiles.
"I'm nothing but honest, sir."
"Are you ready?" I sigh as I walk into the garage in my pit crew uniform. Yusei and Bruno are looking at the laptop, almost ready to go.
"Yeah," Yusei says, walking over to me. "We're just checking over some last minute things. You're not doing your hair all fancy today?"
"Nah, I'm too tired." I wrap the end of my ponytail around my pinky finger. "Are you complaining?"
"You know I love your hair in a ponytail." He smiles.
"Oh I know, why do you think I always wear it in a ponytail?"
"Wait, really?" He looks at me with slightly widened eyes.
"How did you not know that?" Crow butts in. "She went bright red when you said that you like her hair in a ponytail, and always started wearing it that way after that."
"That was Christmas, wasn't it?"
"Yep." I nod my head as the embarrassing memories come back. We all turn to look at the door when there's a knock. Everyone we know just walks into the garage. We look at each other, realising that everyone is already here. We stare at Crow, who is nearest to the door, until he goes to answer it. I deadpan as soon as I recognise the aura. Yusei looks at me with a raised eyebrow. The happy look on Crow's face drops when he opens the door.
"Yuuka, you deal with this." He walks away from the door, throwing his hands up.
"What do you want, Kaoru?" I hear Kaoru take a deep breath before stepping just far enough in the door so that we can see him.
"I need your help."
"Oh, do you now?" I cross my arms, scowling.
"I fucked up."
"I'd say it's too late for that." I make sure put venom in my words.
"Yuuka." He pleads.
"I'm busy." I say, pointing at my D-Wheel. "We got a match today, in case you didn't know."
"Yuuka, we really need to talk."
"I don't care," My eyes narrow, "Maybe you shouldn't have stabbed me in the back."
"Yuuka." Yusei says my name and my head whips around to him.
"Are you really on his side?"
"I think he needs you more than you're needed here." He pats my shoulder, in an effort to persuade me.
"Excuse me?" I raise my eyebrows. "Unless you know what he did." I notice Kaoru's eyes widen, but Yusei meets them and he visibly calms down. I groan. "Fine. I'm not doing this willingly, may I just say."
"We know, don't worry." Yusei pats my back as I walk to my D-Wheel. I just roll my eyes.
"Good luck, honey." I kiss his cheek before getting on my D-Wheel. "Good luck to the rest of you, I guess."
Kaoru says nothing as we pull up into the garage of our house. He's said nothing at all actually. I can't hear his thoughts. I can tell he's panicking just from looking at him. He grips the handles of his D-Wheel a little too tightly.
"Maybe we should talk upstairs." Kaoru scratches the back of his head once he takes his helmet off. "Cause y'know." His eyes move to the door of the garage. In case Kasumi is home, that's what I'm hearing.
"Okay, my room, cause your room smells like boy and I don't like it."
"That's cool." Kaoru's face is giving away nothing, aside from the fact that he's anxious.
"C'mon." I say, walking out the garage and up the stairs. The house seems to be empty which is good. Kaoru closes the bedroom door behind him. He takes a deep breath before sitting down on the bed beside me. "Now, how did you fuck up this time?"
Kaoru's eyes widen. He bites his lips. I notice his hands shaking. He tries to take deep breathes, only for short puffs to come from his mouth.
"Take your time." His eyes open quickly, meeting mine. There's a real panic to them. It's then I realise that there's actually something wrong. This is a mistake that can't be erased kind of wrong. "It's okay, buddy. You can tell me." I don't know what compels me to put a hand on his back and say it. Even though the sting of his betrayal is still fresh, I still feel sorry for the kid. I still care for him, deep deep down.
"I kissed Takumi." His eyes close again in fear.
"Wait what?" It takes a few seconds for his words to register in my head. "You kissed Takumi?"
"Yes." He nods very slowly. "Well, I mean, it's more like we kissed each other? I mean, he kinda initiated it? But y'know, I didn't not kiss back?"
"I get what you mean." I bite my lip, staring at his face. I am not sure how to feel. "Does he like you?"
"I'm pretty sure. We've basically spent the last few weeks together, and I've stayed over at his place a lot."
"Do you like him?"
"Yeah." He hides his face in his hands. "I think I'm gay. But not like fully gay? I still like girls, but I really like Takumi, and he's a guy."
"It's called bisexual, buddy. Or pansexual, there's that too." I say, patting his back.
"Okay, maybe not the sex part though. Just like in general, I don't know, I'm just really confused." His hand reaches up to scratch the back of his neck.
"There's this thing called the asexual spectrum, you're probably on there just like me. Look it up and decided what one you like best. Take your time, you don't need to rush yourself."
"Thank you." He smiles. "I was really nervous about telling you."
"Why?" I squint a little. "You know that I'm bi, right?"
"I know that, Anako was the one that told me. She told me that you two made out once." He chuckles. "But Takumi was one of your best friends, so I wasn't sure how you'd react. And now… well, the issue is with him and not me."
"Wait, are you implying that Takumi made you realise you were bi or whatever?"
"Yeah, why do you ask?" Kaoru blinks rapidly.
"Never tell him that, you'll never hear the end of it."
"He already knows." He just shrugs his shoulders, making a face.
"You had one job."
"Shut up." He pushes my shoulder, chuckling.
"You know what his ego is like." I roll my eyes, giggling.
"You're right but you don't have to say it."
"When did you figure it out? Or what specifically?" I ask.
"I don't know. It hit me all of a sudden, I guess. I was just sitting there, then I just went fuck." He raises his eyebrows. "I think it was just after you crashed that one time, pretty sure."
"So you liked Takumi before you figured out he was dating Kenta?" He nods. "That explains a lot, to be honest." It was just before that that Kenta started being off. I reckon he knew about all this. Actually, some things that he said make a lot more sense if he knew that this was mutual thing. Going on record again saying that Takumi Chiba is an asshole. Kenta really deserves better than him.
"Yeah…" He grimaces. "I was very confused to say the least."
"I mean, if you're happy now, that's what matters." Kaoru's eyes widen slightly, as if he wasn't expecting it. I hear his thoughts again for the first time since that day in the park. He didn't expect me to forgive him so easily.
"I haven't really forgiven you," I say, "You're just moving towards it now."
"I guess that's all I can for." He smiles. "Resent and remember?"
"That's my motto." I laugh as he sighs.
"Sometimes, I feel bad." I go to speak but he continues. "Y'know, like, this is happening so soon after Kenta and Takumi broke up. I feel like I might have caused that."
"You didn't cause that. Kenta told me that they had been fighting for months over the whole taking Team Liberation a step further thing."
"Was that the night he came over here and got really drunk?"
"Yep, managed to get a date with Miguel that night too."
"Phantom Riders' Miguel?" He turns to me, confused.
"Yep, the same one." I nod.
"Okay, I feel better about myself now." He sighs in relief. "If Kenta's moving on, then it's okay for me to kiss Takumi."
"You keep telling yourself that." Kaoru manages to look offended by my statement. "You liking him doesn't make him any less of an asshole."
"Leave me alone."
"Never." There's a beat of silence. It's comfortable at least. "Did Takumi ever calm down about that thing?"
"The gang thing?"
"Yeah," I nod, "I was hoping he did."
"I don't know," Kaoru answers. "He's stopped talking about it for now. He's waiting until the WRGP finishes, cause y'know, he's thinking that we're going to the final."
"You don't sound certain to me, and it's your team." I raise an eyebrow at me.
"Leave me and my anxiety alone."
"I know that you're not a functional human being, but at least have some faith in yourself." I exhale through my nose. I'm just waiting until I have the mental capacity to deal with Takumi again. That little bitch is going to get what's coming to him.
"Hey, I'm sorry about keeping you from that match today." He avoids my eyes while scratching the back of his neck. "I was going to talk to you last night, but I ended up staying over at Takumi's." I give him a look. "Nothing happened after the kiss."
"Unusually tame for Takumi, but okay." I swear Kaoru flushes the tiniest bit. "No, stop that."
"Leave me alone."
"I want burritos, you coming?" I say, standing up.
"Yuuka, it's noon."
"And? I want burritos."
"Alright, I guess." He shrugs his shoulders before standing up.
"Yusei, my brother is gay." I say as I walk into Poppo Time.
"I know." He responds, hugging me. I press a kiss to cheek with a congratulations.
"What do you mean I know?"
"I always thought he was, is this a new thing?" He takes the bag of burritos out of my hand, taking the one I brought home for him.
"It is…" I shake my head in disbelief.
"Takumi?" Crow asks.
"How do you know that?" My eyes widen.
"It was obvious." He just shrugs his shoulders. My jaw is hanging open. I turn to look at Aki who just puts her hand on my shoulder while laughing. "And you call Kaoru oblivious." I shake my head and throw my hands up.
"I'm done." I start walking up the stairs to the kitchen. Once I get into the kitchen, I walk back down the stairs, just enough so the guys can see me. "He used to get beaten up for being gay, and I used to beat the assholes up back. And after all that, he's actually gay."
"Yes, Yuuka." Aki nods slowly, she probably remembers because of how often we were in detention together. "But we still love and support him."
"Of course we do." I say. "I just can't believe I never noticed that he was bi this entire time. I should have a better gaydar than this." I shake my head as I walk back up the stairs.