Lessons Learned
The next morning it took Max a few minutes to remember where he was as Albus shook him awake. He stared around, bleary-eyed, and saw the other boys dressing in their school robes.
"Wake up Max," Albus grinned, "we better have some breakfast before Nev- I mean Professor Longbottom gives us our timetables, lessons start today."
"I really am at Hogwarts." Max grinned. "I thought it was just a dream."
His trunk stood at the foot of his bed and his house tie and school robes had been laid out ready. He washed and dressed in record time and hurried down to the Great Hall with the other boys. Rose was waiting for them at the Gryffindor table with Serpens and the twins.
"I thought you were going to miss breakfast," said Rose, books piled in front of her plate, "we've been up for ages."
"What's with the books?" asked Orion. "We haven't even had lessons yet so it's not homework."
"Just some independent research," Rose smiled, "I was looking into hatstalls. I just found it intriguing that they are usually so rare, yet we had two this year."
"I don't know how you can work this early on the first day," muttered Orion, "it's just not natural."
"Why were you two up so early?" Albus asked the twins suspiciously.
"Getting a head start on mischief dear brother." smirked one twin, waving a sausage.
"Working out a plan of attack for the new professors." said the other twin, somewhat indistinctly, around a mouthfull of scrambled eggs.
"Mum and Dad said to stay out of trouble," Albus warned them, "you know she'll find out from one of the professors if McGonagall doesn't tell her."
"Only if we get caught." muttered the first twin. "If you can't keep your mouth shut, keep your nose out."
"Look out," hissed Serpens, "here comes Professor Longbottom."
Professor Longbottom was approaching the table clutching some rolls of parchment. He was tall and muscular, with a strong jaw and eyes that seemed to smile constantly. He wore thick robes that were patched in places and muddy at the knees. Gardening gloves and twine hung from a loop on his belt and a small set of shears poked out of his top pocket.
"Good morning Gryffindor's and visiting Slytherin's." he smiled. "I have your new timetables right here. Harry and Severus, Professor Zabini will be at your house table with your's shortly, I suggest you get a move on. Wouldn't want to be late for your first day."
"Yes Sir," chorused the twins, pushing away their plates and heading for their table, "see you all at lunch."
First Professor Longbottom handed Serpens the second year timetable and he hurried off to the dungeons for potions. The professor turned to the first years with a smile and handed them their timetables.
"First lesson is Herbology, with me, in greenhouse one. I'll walk down with you to show you where it is." Professor Longbottom told them. "This class is taught mixed with Ravenclaw house. Today we will be working with puffapods, I hope you have had a good breakfast, you've got a busy day ahead."
XXXXXX
The first day seemed to go well to start with. Max earned ten points for Gryffindor in his first Charms lesson, for using a perfect wand movement, and then five points in Transfiguration for being the only one, other than Rose, who had changed his matchstick in any way. Although it didn't resemble a needle yet it was definitely metallic looking. Max was in a good mood when they arrived in the dungeons for their final lesson of the day, potions. As they lined up outside he was chuckling at something Albus had said, with his back to the classroom door. A loud crash sounded behind him, and he jumped, spinning around with his wand raised. Framed in the doorway was a stocky middle-aged man, with short grey hair and bushy eyebrows. His grey eyes narrowed at Max's raised wand and a snarl spread across the thin lips.
"Trying to hex a teacher?" he growled, "Five points from Gryffindor."
Max opened his mouth to protest, but Albus shook his head in warning.
"Well?" said the Professor, snarling at the rest of the class, "what are you waiting for? Get inside and get out your equipment, before I take more points."
The Gryffindor's and Slytherin's filed in in silence and took out their books, quills and wands. The Professor stomped to the front of the room and glared at them.
"I am Professor Strychnine." he said, with a growl, "Potions is a difficult discipline, requiring special qualities to master it, that I suspect none of you here will possess. There will be no pranks or jokes in my classroom. You will follow instructions and behave in an acceptable manner, the punishments for not doing so will be severe. Make no mistake, potions can be dangerous, and so can I."
The lesson that followed was the worst of the day. Professor Strychnine quizzed them on potions ingredients and properties that were in the books, and then berated them for not getting the answers right, taking almost twenty house points in total. At dinner that evening they complained bitterly about him.
"How are we supposed to know if he hasn't taught us yet?" complained Orion, who was still annoyed at being called lazy and dim-witted. "He's such an unreasonable bastard."
"Is he always like that?" Max asked Serpens.
"No idea," Serpens said, "he's new this year, but he wasn't too bad at the start of our first lesson this morning. That was probably what put him in such a bad mood."
"Why?" said Rose, "What happened in your lesson?"
"I'm not quite sure," Serpens said, lowering his voice and leaning towards them, "something made one of the cauldrons explode, but no one knows what. If he hadn't been quick with a shield the professor would have got a face full of it."
"Harry and Severus?" asked Albus.
"They were nowhere near it and facing the other way." said Serpens. "If they had anything to do with it they covered their tracks well."
"If he had a bad day maybe he's not normally that bad." said Rose. "You wait, he'll be loads better tomorrow."
"Have you got Defence Against Dark Arts tomorrow?" asked Serpens. "That new professor is amazing."
"Professor Mallory?" said Rose. "We don't have her until Wednesday. Is she any good?"
"Good?" said one of the twins, slipping into the seat beside her. "She has to be my favourite teacher ever."
"Ooh," Rose squeaked excitedly, "what did she teach you?"
"Not a damn clue." said the other twin, grinning cheerfully and sitting next to Serpens.
"But you said she was amazing," Rose said, confused, "how can you not know what she taught?"
"Because they were busy gawping at her boobs." Serpens laughed.
"You just don't see knockers like that on a Professor." smirked the twin next to Rose.
"That's not appropriate staring at her boobs Harry." frowned the twin next to Serpens, who Max now knew was Severus.
"Thank you Sev-" started Rose.
"Her arse is waaaay better." Severus said with a grin.
Rose huffed at them and turned away, scandalised, but the boys laughed.
"How do we tell you apart?" Max asked the twins.
"He's a boob man and I'm an arse man, obviously." grinned Severus, unhelpfully.
"Harry can fly like an eagle," said Albus, "Severus isn't as good. It's trickier if they're not on brooms though. Harry has a little green speck in his left eye, Severus's is in his right. They answer to either name though so don't worry if you can't tell, most people can't."
"I fly spectacularly." grumbled Severus.
"Just not as spectacularly as me." Harry smirked. Severus flicked a carrot at him, which he redirected with a lazy flick of his wand.
XXXXXX
That night in the first year boys dormitory, they grouped together by the window, chatting about their families. Max learned a lot about his new house mates. Orion revealed that both his parents were from old pureblood families. Stephen Glover, a skinny, blonde, muggle-born from Kent, lived with just his musician father and travelled the country to gigs with him. Kevin Creevey told them he was half-blood, he had lost an uncle in the Battle of Hogwarts. Many students had lost family members in the battle and the preceding war, but they spoke of the lost relatives proudly.
Talk turned to the muggle world and Max and Stephen, being considered the most knowledgeable on the subject, were asked strange questions. Max tried to explain mobile phones to Orion, but not knowing all the technical details meant that he struggled to make them understand.
"So it's like floo calling," said Orion, "but you can't see the person."
"Well you can if you video call," said Max, "but it's better because you can take it with you, you can't put a fireplace in your pocket, can you." Max then spent an hour explaining video calling and roaming data.
By the time they went to sleep Orion and Kevin had managed to convince them to bring a mobile phone and other electronic devices into school, just to see if they could get them to work.
XXXXXX
The next day they had double potions first lesson. They were all hopeful that Professor Strychnine would be in a better mood, they were sorely disappointed. Strychnine threw open the dungeon door and gestured them inside. He lectured them on poisons and antidotes for the first half of the lesson, sending a mild stinging hex at anyone whose attention wandered. The second half of the lesson was spent practicing how to prepare certain ingredients for the different antidotes they'd covered. Strychnine stomped around the room criticising them as they chopped, diced and shredded the different plants and roots.
"These leaves aren't evenly shredded." Strychnine growled as he passed the workstation where the twins, Lena and Anthea Davies, were working with Hunter Hopkirk of Slytherin and Tracy Collins of Gryffindor. "Start again." he said, waving his wand and vanishing the leaves.
He stalked close to where Max, Albus, Rose and Orion were working and, on seeing their perfectly prepared ingredients, snarled and walked away to find someone else to criticise.
"This is a pointless exercise anyway." whispered Albus. "Any potioneer worth his salt knows a bezoar will cure most poisons."
"What's a bezoar?" asked Max.
"I did not give you permission to chatter!" bellowed Strychnine from nearby. "Ten points each from Gryffindor." he loomed over their table, spittle flying as he shouted. "If you two think this class is so pointless I suggest you write me a twenty inch essay on bezoars versus antidotes, to be handed in next lesson. That is on top of the fifteen inches on ingredient preparation I'm setting the whole class. I will not have my methods questioned."
By the end of the lesson it was obvious that Strychnine's mood was unlikely to improve any time soon. The Slytherin's and Gryffindor's weren't the only ones noticing the temper of the potions master. All the students tended to give him a wide berth in the corridors. Rumour had it he had already made two Hufflepuff's cry. Max's day didn't improve with Herbology. Aspen Tosku had been working near them and had thrown a bouncing bulb at Max, it had missed and hit Rani Amin, leaving a bump on her head. Max and Albus spent the rest of lesson glaring at Aspen who was laughing nastily.
"He's a nasty little Horizonist prick." snarled Orion as the left the greenhouse, following the sniggering Tosku and his friends. "I swear, the second I learn to duel I'm going to hex his-"
"Get a move on boys," Professor Longbottom said behind them, "you have Astronomy this evening. I would advise you to get a little sleep after dinner or you won't be able to concentrate." They nodded and started to walk up to the castle. "One second Max." the professor said.
"Yes Sir?" said Max, turning back and letting the others walk ahead.
"Professor McGonagall asked me to pass on a message." he said, "She says you have an extra lesson tomorrow evening, but not to tell anyone apart from Albus, Rose and Orion."
"Thanks Sir," Max said, "where do I go?"
"The dungeons," he said, smiling when Max pulled a face, "not the potions classroom. There's another room just down the corridor, by the snake statue, the password is Wolfsbane."