Chapter 33: One Bows Before They Break
{A/N: The Move's been canceled so here's to the start of more uploads...-S.S.}
{"Desperate... I Will Crawl...Waiting For So Long...No Love...There's No Love...Die For Anyone...What Have I Become...Something's Getting In The Way...Something's Just About To Break...I Will Try To Find My Place In The Diary Of Jane..."} Diary of Jane, Breaking Benjamin
My Thanks To All My Readers And Reviewers...Enjoy-S.S.
The Roof Tops, Hogwarts, Castle, Scotland...
High winds blew as the darkened sky loomed above the solitary Potions Professor clad in ebony robes as he stood amid the stone. There was an eerie chill in the air as he took in the vast sight of Hogwarts from his vantage point. Had he been able to produce tears they would no doubt have stained his face in this moment. He had not been alone for long, not that he expected to be. The winds continued to blow for all they had been worth, a fitting metaphor for the shifting and changing feelings buried deep within the heart of the ebony clad wizard who's darkened eyes show not a flicker of emotion.
"Severus." came the familiar tone of The Headmaster.
Dumbledore made his way over toward Snape who had not appeared interested in his presence.
"Severus, I told you before that I would not negotiate with you." said the older wizard.
"Have I ever asked you to?" asked Snape his voice as cold as the breeze that blanketed him. "Everything that I have ever asked of you old man has fallen on deaf ears."
Dumbledore sighed.
"To this again are we?" he asked not at all surprised.
"No." replied Snape bitterly now his obsidian eyes flickering in rage. "There will be no negotiations...I am simply putting you on notice old man."
Dumbledore arched an eyebrow at him.
"Notice?" he asked unaffected.
Snape glared at him with full rage now. His movements swift and fluent like flowing water.
"Do you really think I had no idea of what you were truly up to old man?" he asked still bitter. "The depths into which you sink to get your way astound even me Albus...are you sure you weren't to be sorted into Slytherin?"
It was Dumbledore's turn to narrow his blue eyes at Snape.
"Don't be ridiculous, Severus." he huffed.
"I do believe Harry Potter would find it so dismissive once he knew what you did to his best friend." said Snape not forgoing the bitterness one bit. "Perhaps even he would second guess the capacity of your mental state."
"Get on with it Severus." said Dumbledore still unimpressed. "What have I done so wrong even by the standards of a hopeless death eater blindly following the will of Voldemort until the truth reared it's ugly head all too late..."
"Don't patronize me old man." growled Snape enraged. "I am talking about what you did to Hermione!"
Dumbledore sighed appearing to grow more tired with this discussion.
"Your point Severus?" he asked.
"You were the one that gave her the time turner...and you were the one that ratted her out to the Ministry of Magic to have an official way to put your sick plan into action." said Snape still angry.
"What I did... I did for the greater good." said Dumbledore unapologetic.
"You sold Harry Potter's best friend to your one and only spy in a bid to keep him loyal." said Snape disgusted. "That was quite extensive figuring you did old man really I should applaud you...you play on my need to avenge an old friend to force my hand in the arrangement and then option off The Granger girl's virginity in a bid to keep me loyal."
"Severus..." started Dumbledore.
Snape continued ignoring the older wizard.
"I have to hand it to you Albus...it was quite the arrangement...and if you are interested Granger has exceptional qualities due to her former virgin status...the added bonus of approval from the dark lord was boon as well...but you already knew that." said the Potions Professor. "You'd have to drop by the dungeons some time perhaps I can make her scream for you."
"Severus I get that you are angry with me..." said Dumbledore.
"Angry?" asked Snape with a wicked smirk. "Why the hell should I be angry...I have a pretty young bed warmer untouched by any other wizard and madly in love with me...I'm the envy of the dark lord's servants everywhere...I mean who cares if I've spent much of my youth trying to atone for a past I can never really escape or that I've been a teacher here for decades and trusted among the staff...a staff that let me get brutalized by their precious Gryffindors if I recall correctly when I was a student here..."
"Severus, I...I can not undo what has been done..." said Dumbledore. "You cannot either...we must proceed with our plans...for the..."
Snape suddenly became serious.
"If you say "for the greater good" to me one more time old man I just might throw you over the battlements." he growled in a dangerous tone. "Let me make this perfectly clear...I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE GREATER GOOD...I've lost more for "the greater good" than I ever have embracing darkness...I AM HERE FOR ONE REASON AND ONE REASON ALONE...MY WIFE, Hermione.."
Dumbledore was stunned by his admission. He had not foreseen the attachment Snape would have to the young witch.
"Hermione, is the only reason I still tolerate your useless drivel old man." continued the raven haired wizard. "I love her...and that isn't going to change just because you wave your hand and place her in Gryffindor tower."
Dumbledore nodded.
"I didn't expect it to." he said in a defeated tone. "Severus, I must speak with you."
"Why should I give you the time of day?" asked Snape still bitter.
"Because..." said Dumbledore feeling weakness over take him.
Snape noted how the older wizard's knees gave way and he against his better judgement aided the elder man. Even at his most bitter and enraged the dour wizard could not stand idle as Dumbledore nearly fell over.
"What is wrong with you?" asked Snape not wishing to convey his concern lest the older man believe he was off the hook for his antics.
"Perhaps...we should have this discussion in my office." said the Headmaster.
Snape nodded in agreement as he helped the seemingly ill old wizard to his office.
The Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts...
Both wizards had been eerily silent as Dumbledore was helped into his seat by Snape who stood a short distance away in case the old man was in need. The imposing figure that had been the Potions Professor folded his arms across his ebony clad chest glaring at the man dressed in light blue robes. Dumbledore had been quite humbled with the sudden onset of his illness, whatever it had been. His long white hair resting on his wide shoulders right along with his lengthy but equally white beard.
"Severus..." said Dumbledore in a sad tone. "I could only imagine what you must think of me."
Snape said nothing but glared at him just the same.
"What I've done was foolish and no apology to you or Miss Granger would ever make up for my callousness." continued Dumbledore. "I simply did what I thought was best...I know you do not believe it now but you will in time..."
"Enough." said Snape annoyed with the topic. "What is wrong with you old man?"
"I-I suppose it was foolish of me to ignore such obvious warning." said Dumbledore with a smile like that of a child hoping to lessen the wrath of a parent after disobeying a flat out rule. "But I find myself on the receiving end of a dark curse.."
Snape's obsidian eyes widened.
"What have you done?" asked Snape suddenly filled with worry.
"I'm afraid it's spreading faster than I anticipated..." said Dumbledore.
Snape immediately took out his wand and sat down in the empty seat near the older wizard's desk. He removed the glamour that had been about Dumbledore's right hand and was astonished to find that the old man's fingers had turned black along with a good part of his hand.
"No." said Snape in disbelief.
"I'm afraid that I do not have much time." said Dumbledore observing his young employee's reaction.
"Why?" asked Snape suddenly bombarded with emotion. "Why have you done this to yourself!"
"I suppose I was curious." replied Dumbledore as if a dark curse rapidly spreading throughout his body was no big cause for worry.
"HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID!?" shouted Snape possibly more enraged than ever with the old man. "WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN JUST WHOM IT IS WE ARE UP AGAINST AND YOU...YOU HAND HIM AN EASY VICTORY JUST LIKE THAT!"
"Severus, I am not handing him anything." said Dumbledore.
"Why did you wait until now to tell me?" asked Snape. "Why didn't you get me sooner I could have found a cure...all we needed was more time."
Dumbledore held up his good hand in a bid to stop him.
"Severus, it's too late for that." he said. "All we can do is ensure that we have the means to destroy the dark lord while I yet draw breath."
"Why must you insisted we place the fate of the entire wizarding world in the hands of this boy?" asked Snape. "Your foolish Gryffindor notions will not help us against the dark lord..."
"Severus, I need you to kill me." said Dumbledore unable to let his Potions Master's rambling continue.
Snape stepped back from him confused.
"What?" he asked.
"It is only a matter of time before the dark lord sends someone to murder me." said Dumbledore. "At the rate you say that Lucius has fallen...we can only assume that the one he will send will be your own godson."
Snape had been horrified at the implications that ran through his mind.
"No." he said despite coming to the same conclusion.
"Severus...please." said Dumbledore. "It's the only way to save not only Harry Potter but your own godson from a fate more cruel than death."
Snape considered this.
"Severus, remember what you promised me." said Dumbledore.
The Potions Professor got to his feet and headed for the door.
"Don't ignore me Severus.." said Dumbledore in desperation. "You and I both know that it's the Malfoy boy the dark lord will be sending to murder me."
Snape stopped half way between the door and the old wizard's desk.
"You must be the one to kill me, Severus." said Dumbledore as if it were the answer to all life's problems.
"If I kill you then what of the order?" asked Snape not wishing to see the logic in the Headmaster's words. "What of Potter...what of..."
"A small price to pay to stop the dark lord." said The Headmaster. "I need you to protect the students of this school...your wife included...but you can only do so if Lord Voldemort has complete trust in you."
Snape sighed unable to stop seeing the logic in his plan.
"So...you want me to kill you when you know very well that I will lose..." he stopped himself.
"She will forgive you, Severus." said Dumbledore.
"Whatever gave you that idea?" asked Snape bitterly. "Last I checked you Gryffindor's hold the most grudges when it comes to certain aspects that displease you...why should she be any different...I just murder the Headmaster take his place and all will be well...what rubbish."
Dumbledore sighed.
"I know this is hard for you..." he started.
"You couldn't possibly know what is hard for me." snapped the Potions Master. "All you care about is your fucking greater good...I'm about to lose my wife...just when..."
Snape sighed.
"To pay for my sins until the end of my days." he said suddenly weary.
"I-I'm sorry Severus." said Dumbledore.
Snape held up a hand.
"Save it." he said bitterly. "I promised you anything did I not..."
He left without another word as Dumbledore sat back in his chair with an expression of sadness upon his normally cheery face. This war was going to get worse for the dour wizard that much was for sure, especially when he had such a profound attachment to Hermione Granger.
The Headmaster let out an equally sad sigh.
"I am so sorry, Severus." he said. "But we do what we must for the greater good...even if it means our loved ones will hate us..."