Dear Amy,
Three. Three Times. Three Fucking Times.
Three times in the last 2 months I have thought that Wyatt Logan was about to kiss me. And three times, nothing.
Nothing.
Well, maybe not nothing. But definitely not something. Not what I want.
This must be a sign. This thing that I thought was going to happen between us, is just not happening. The universe is saying no. I mean, I know we are currently living in some kind of dormitory from hell and that we have no real privacy, any of us. But THREE TIMES. Each time getting closer. And the last, his hands were on me. Him, hovering over me in a confined space and STILL we are interrupted before anything could happen.
I'm in love with a man and the only time I have kissed him, we were playing a role and psycho killers were watching us.
My love life has gone from non-existent to absurd. FUCK!
Can you tell I'm frustrated? I guess I shouldn't complain to you, Ames, at least I exist right now. But there is really no one else I can talk to. Jiya, darling that she is, has her own cross to bear. I'm not really sure what it is, but her "episodes" are becoming more frequent and she refuses to talk about it. And I can't talk to Rufus. Now he just looks at me with this awkward grin on his face whenever Wyatt comes up in conversation.
Oh Amy. Once again, I just wish you were here. My life is a mess. Mom is insane – more so than you and I could have ever comprehended – on a level that I can't even wrap my head around. She's not who you and I loved, and fought, and cherished through our lives. She's different. She's a monster.
And I just want Wyatt. Wyatt and ten minutes without some idiot walking in on us. Is that too much to ask?
I'm too old for this high school bullshit. I'm going to just tell him how I feel. I need to tell him how I feel.
I can't live in this limbo anymore.
Fuck. I miss you, Ames. Please come home.
Love your devoted sister,
Lucy