NYE Santana wants to propose to Brittany at Midnight and invited her and Brittany's Parents and all of their Friends. Santana proposed but Brittany is not ready to get Married.
I made some tiny changes, that was becoming way too angsty for my poor little heart.
Saying that Santana was nervous would be an understatement. The girl was freaking the hell out, rushing around the living room of the apartment she shared with Brittany, changing her dress almost eight times, rethinking her makeup, switching her shoes, making sure she had the ring.
"Girl, would you just sit your ass down! You're making me dizzy." Mercedes, a very good friend of both Santana and Brittany, demanded as she waited for Santana on the couch. She checked her phone for the time and frowned, "If we don't leave soon, Brittany's going to walk into that restaurant first."
"That's not a part of the plan!" Santana cried as she rushed out of the bedroom, "What are you sitting down for? We need to go!"
"That's what I've been saying.." Mercedes grumbled and grabbed her purse before looking back at San as they were about to lock up, "Got the ring?"
"Got it!" Santana answered wiggling the black velvet box, "I have no idea where to put this thing. It's so clunky and I don't have any pockets to hide it in. I want to just stick the ring between my boobs but Britt's parents are gonna be there and so are mine and I don't want to be inappropriate."
"You don't want to be inappropriate?" Mercedes laughed as the two made their way to her car, "That's a first. I guess you really have matured."
"Oh shut up, I know how to behave."
"Only when Brittany's around," She teased allowing Santana to let out a genuine laugh since she's been so wound up.
"Which is why I've got to marry her." Santana smiled softly, "She'll say yes, right?"
"Santana, you two have been in love probably since preschool. Of course she'll say yes, you're practically married anyway!" Mercedes replied easily as they got into the car and started on the route to the restaurant.
Santana still felt nervous, maybe even a mix of excitement, as she headed to the entrance with Mercedes following behind. Inside, she saw that everyone was already there: both sets of parents, a few of Brittany's dancer friends, a couple girls Santana used to bartend with, Quinn, Mike, and Sugar.
Santana could feel her body buzzing as she realized how close she was to changing her whole life. In a matter of minutes, Brittany was going to be her fiancée and just in time to ring in the New Year. Santana smiled as she thought of how awesome it'll be when the engagement ring she spent forever looking for will finally be on the love of her life's finger.
"She's coming, Santana." Mercedes told her after about fifteen minutes of socializing with everyone in the room. Santana's eyes grew and her heartbeat sped up, but she tried calming herself down. There wasn't anything to be nervous about; Brittany loves her and she loves Brittany, what better way to solidify all that love than by getting married?
Brittany had known something was up when Santana decided to plan this whole New Year's Eve dinner and wanted to meet up at the restaurant separately. She kept telling the blonde that it was because she wanted it to havefirst date feels, the ones where she gets all mushy when she sees her walk in and how she'll walk her out to her car afterwards. Brittany knew it was strange, but she loved when Santana wanted to do things with feels so she just went with it.
Brittany didn't expect to see Mercedes waiting there though. She was always happy to see her, but Santana didn't mention that it was going to be a double date. Mercedes greeted her as they walked into the room together, Brittany's eyes widening as she looked around and saw all the people she knew smiling back.
She was confused but soon Santana was walking out from off the side of the room, all sexy and bashful, "Hi Britt-Britt."
"Hey San," Brittany greeted before Santana kissed her lips softly, "Why are all these people here?"
"Well.." Santana hummed, her head ducking down as her hands moved to hold Brittany's waist, grounding her in her spot, "They're here to celebrate."
"That's right, it's New Year's Eve! I almost forgot." Brittany grinned and began to walk off, "Which one's our ta-"
"Wait baby, I've got to ask you something first." Santana said, catching Brittany's wrist before she could get too far. She watched Brittany's brows furrow and her eyes roam all over the brunette's face at her sudden serious tone. Santana was working off adrenaline at first but once she opened up the conversation that would ultimately lead to changing her life, she froze.
"Santana? Are you okay?" Brittany asked worriedly, closing the distance between as her hands cupped tanned cheeks.
Santana blinked then inhaled deeply before she smiling and reaching for Brittany's hands, "Yeah, I'm just a little nervous but I'm okay."
"Oh okay," Brittany replied, stroking the back of Santana's hands with her thumbs, "What did you have to ask?"
"You're so special to me Britt." Santana began as the room stood still, "And I love you so, so much. You make me so happy and you don't even have to try. We've been through so much together and I know sometimes it was a little rocky, but we always pulled through in the end. You're the smartest, most beautifully kind person I've ever met."
"Santana.." Brittany pouted but love blossomed in blue eyes.
"I once told you that I didn't want anyone else but you and that's still true to this day. No one else can love me better than you, Britt." Santana's throat began to constrict as tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them away and continued, "You are always going to be the best thing that's ever been mine and I want to be the best thing that'll ever be yours."
"San, what are you doing?" Brittany asked as Santana pulled out the black box.
"Baby, there's no going back for me, you're it. You are the only girl I'll ever want to spend the rest of my life with." Santana said as her voice finally cracked and she popped open the box, "Brittany S. Pierce, will you marry me?"
Santana imagined the proposal ending in so many different ways: Brittany kissing the crap out of her, Brittany squealing yes before tackling her with kisses, Brittany crying as she nodded yes..
There was so much hesitation in the blonde's reaction that Santana quickly realized Brittany's answer was no. As Santana read the answer in Brittany's eyes, she wished they hadn't had years of practicing unspoken words and just knowing what each other was thinking.
Santana never thought of how it was going to feel if Brittany said no. She didn't imagine the heartbreak or embarrassment.
"Santana.." Brittany pleaded but Santana shrinked away from her touch causing the blonde's bottom lip to tremble, "Please, let me just-"
"I don't want to talk Brittany, you said..or didn't say enough already." Santana growled, her anger masking her broken heart. She left Brittany standing there and headed for the lobby.
While Quinn and Mike ushered everyone away from the scene, attempting to distract the others, Mercedes walked over to Santana.
"Santana.." She whispered, a comforting hand pressing to her shoulder, "San, come on get up off the floor."
"She said no." Santana stared blankly at the ring, "She said no."
"She didn't say anything, San, maybes she's just-"
"She didn't say yes so the answer is no!" She snapped, shrugging of Mercedes' hand roughly, "She doesn't want to marry me."
Mercedes watched as Santana crumbled; she knew not to be around the girl when she was as upset as she as but Mercedes threw caution to the wind and wrapped her arms around the girl, "It's gonna be okay, Santana."
Tears stained Mercedes shoulder as Santana sobbed, "She said no.."
Mercedes was wary of dropping Santana off at her apartment, but Santana assured her that she would be okay. Brittany would eventually come home, so she'd have to deal with everything either way. Since they've been together, they've never spent a New Year's Eve apart so seeing Brittany again was inevitable.
As Santana waved goodbye to Mercedes, she made the long walk upstairs. Their room was still a mess, all Santana's dresses thrown casually across the bed and shoes sprawled all over the floor, reminding her of all the hard work put into what was supposed to be a special occasion. She just groaned and changed into some more comfortable before wandering into the kitchen. She had missed dinner since she left early from the restaurant, but honestly she didn't really have an appetite now.
Alcohol is what she needed. She found half a bottle of Tequila and went to sit out on the couch, staring blankly off into space. Thoughts of Brittany flooded her mind and every time she felt the tears coming, she took a shot hoping she could numb the pain or at least blur the blonde's face.
Brittany hadn't come home right away in fear of seeing Santana even more broken hearted now that she wasn't in front of people, but she knew she had to come home eventually. She wanted to talk about what happened since she didn't get the chance, since Santana jumped so fast to the worst conclusion possible but Brittany didn't blame her for that.
It was just after eleven when Brittany slowly closed the front door after her and padded her way into the living room, spotting Santana slumped on the couch with a bottle of Tequila on the coffee table and some New Year's Eve talk show playing on the tv. The blonde frowned as she stepped around and found Santana curled into herself, a defense thing she did ever since she was little, and saw how her tears had caused her make up to run down her cheeks.
Brittany was hesitant in kneeling down before her, afraid that Santana was still extremely upset with her, but she just had to touch her. Delicate fingers traced her tanned cheeks and ran over goosebump covered arms before tugging down the throw blanket they kept over the couch and slipped it around Santana's shoulders. She wanted to change out of her fancy clothes and put away Santana's shot glass and the empty bottle, but she couldn't bring herself to move. With her eyes closed, Santana couldn't push her away. She couldn't hate her in her sleep and since Brittany didn't know what was going to happen when Santana woke up, she stayed there and watched the brunette sleep.
After only ten minutes, Santana's eyes slowly blinked open to find Brittany sitting in front of her on the floor. She stiffened at first, her walls shooting up to protect her, but the softness of Brittany's eyes tumbled them all down.
They continued to stare, another unspoken conversation, until Brittany finally sighed, "You know that I love you, right?"
"I don't know, do you?" Santana muttered bitterly, but Brittany was skilled in blocking it out. She knew Santana was only mean to cover up being sad.
"I do. I love you the most in the whole world. I love you more than rainbows and unicorns and sunsets. I love you with my whole body, San." Brittany said sternly, "But I don't want to marry you-"
"You don't have to say it again, I heard you the first time."
"No, but you didn't." Brittany pleaded as Santana tried to turn away from her, "Honey, listen to me. I love you and I'll never love anyone else, but I don't want to marry youyet."
Santana peeked up at her through long lashes, confused.
"I want to give you everything you deserve and that's including your dream wedding. I want you to have the perfect dress and the perfect venue and the perfect cake and the perfect centerpieces. I want to give you everything you'll ever want and more, Santana, but I can't do that right now. We're in this tiny little apartment, I can only work so much with school in the way and you have to work threejobs! We have a ton of bills that we can barely pay on time and then you want to get married? I-I can't go through with that knowing I won't be able to give you everything. You'd get second, maybe even third, best of what you wanted and it'll be my fault."
"Britt, I don't need-"
"I'd be happy to be your fiancée one day, I'd be the happiest girl in the world.." Brittany added, not allowing Santana to interrupt her, "But I'm sorry, that day just isn't today." Brittany watched as Santana swiped at her tears, "Honey, please don't be mad at me for not being ready."
"I'm not mad at you for not being ready, I understand.." Santana sighed after a few minutes of silence, "I'm just really sad."
"I don't like hurting you." Brittany frowned, "Can I lay with you?"
Santana was hesitant but she nodded and scooted closer to the edge of the couch so Brittany could climb in behind her. Long arms wrapped around Santana's body as she turned in Brittany's embrace, once again facing each other. She really didn't want to blame Brittany for not feeling ready for marriage, she wanted to tell her that she didn't need a big wedding or any of that fancy stuff when all she wanted was Brittany but that was a talk for a different day, so much already happened in one day.
Despite everything that happened, she was comforted by the feel of Brittany being so close. She could feel the love she had for her warming their bodies and their hearts.
"Happy New Year, Britt." Santana said quietly as she stared up at Brittany, watching the soft smile form while the sound of cheering playing from the tv filled the room.
"Happy New Year, San." Brittany repeated and leaned in to Santana's lips making sure to put enough love in that kiss so Santana knew there was hope and that the next time she asked Brittany to marry her, it would be the answer she had been waiting for.
Then again, maybe next time Brittany would be the one doing that asking.