Chapter 3 – The Eagle Has Landed.
11:15 AM
Monday
Philadelphia International Airport, on the runway
(author's note, please disregard the date / chapter name in chapter 1. No specific date should have been given. That was my bad.)
"Shotgun!" yelled Charlie.
The flight attendant overheard and got slightly nervous.
"What?" said Dennis
"I called shotgun. I got the window seat." said Charlie, to the relief of the flight attendant.
"Ok then, I call shotgun too." said Mac
Dennis sat down next to Charlie, and Dee got the aisle seat. Mac sat down right behind Charlie, then a random stranger, and then Frank on the end.
"Turn right in zero point three miles. You will reach your destination in 18 hours and 13 minutes." said Charlie's GPS app on his phone.
"Why the hell do you have your GPS app open." asked Dennis
"Well, I was just wondering how far are we." said Charlie
"What, no. What are you doing. Thats not how it works." said Dennis
"What do you mean. It tells you right there." replied Charlie
"No, it was designed for driving. Not flying you idiot." said Dennis
"But I was just wonde-" said Charlie until Dennis cut him off.
"Just turn that shit off God damn it." said Dennis.
*ping* "This is the Captain speaking. We are just about ready for take off. Our flight crew will be coming around checking to make you all have your seat belt fastened. At this time, we would like to ask you to store any carry on luggage in the overhead bins and for safety reasons to please put your cellular devices in airplane mode. Thank you." said the Captain on the loudspeaker.
"This is government nanny-state bullshit." said Frank
"Man, I know right." said Mac
"Yeah man, I mean like if you could actually bring down a plane with a phone, don't you think all the terrorists would be doing it." said Charlie
"Exactly. I mean I am not one, but I am just saying that if I were a terrorist, thats exactly how I would do it. I mean they don't even check for cell phones at security, I can just not turn off my phone and be done with it." said Mac. A few of the passengers around them got a bit uncomfortable with their conversation.
"God damnit. No, we're not talking about terrorists again. We're just going to have a nice pleasant trip to New Orleans. Everyone just shut up." said Dennis, agitated.
"Ah. Alright. Fine." said Mac.
Charlie lowered the volume on his GPS and turned off the screen without turning off or putting his phone in airplane mode.
The plane started moving, then sped up, and finally took off. Charlie's GPS read 153 MpH at the takeoff point. The plane took a sharp left turn and lifted itself up into the clouds. Frank went to sleep.
"Oh my God that was so cool." said Charlie
"Oh man, don't tell me you never been on an airplane before." said Mac
- 2 hours later. -
The gang is looking out the windows. They see swamps, some suburban and rural housing, a giant body of water that looked like a lake. They see a long bridge over the lake right underneath them.
"In eight point five miles, get off onto the I-10 ramp on your right. You will have arrived at your destination in 23 minutes." said the GPS app. "GPS signal lost."
"God damn it Charlie, I thought I told you to turn that shit off." said Dennis angrily
*ping* "This is the Captain speaking. We will be landing shortly in about 10 minutes. On the behalf of SouthWest Airlines, we would like to welcome you to New Orleans." *ping*
"Oh sweet, we're here." said Mac, and the plane started making its way down, giving Charlie the butterflies.
"God damn it, my ears." said Mac, smooshing his hands on his ears to numb out the pain of his ears popping.
Charlie started taking pictures with his phone of the swamps nearby, as the plane neared the runway and the wheels hit the ground. *thud thud thud*
"Huh, wha? Wat happened?" asked Frank, as he just woke up.
"Dude, we're here." said Mac
The gang grabbed their luggage from the bins and headed their way to the airport terminal.
"Um, um. Guys." said Charlie, with a worried look on his face.
"I don't think we're here. I think we might have gotten on the wrong plane or something." said Charlie.
"What!" said Dennis. "What the hell are you talking about." said Dennis agitated.
"God damn it. If we're in the wrong airport, they better give me my money back. They better not Jew me out of my money like they Jewed me out of my whiskey." said Frank
"Dude, I don't think you can say 'Jewed"" said Mac. "Thats like ethnophobic."
"What, what do you mean we're in the wrong airport." said Dee, panicking.
"Its my GPS. Its telling us we're in the wrong city." said Charlie
"Oh ok then. Do tell. What city is it telling you that we are in." said Dennis.
"Its saying that we're in someplace called. Kenner." said Charlie
"What, give me that." said Dee, as she snatched Charlie's phone
"God damnit Charlie." said Dee, as she scrolled through the map. "You're an idiot. We're in a suburb of New Orleans, which is called Kenner." said Dee
"Wait, so I am confused. If we're not in New Orleans, then how come our ticket and the gate said New Orleans. That doesn't make any sense." said Charlie.
"God damit it Charlie. I don't have time for this shit. Just get our luggage and lets go." said Dennis
"No, I am serious. I don't get it. If they're going to fly us to a different city, which is a suburb, then they should just say that." said Charlie.
"Whats not to get. Its not a complicated concept. You go fly to a city, but sometimes the city isn't big enough for an airport, so they build the airport in the suburbs." said Dennis agitated.
"Come on, back me up on this Mac. I am just saying. If they're going to fly us to Kenner instead of New Orleans, then they should just say Kenner. So that way people won't get confused."
The gang walked towards the baggage claim area and each grabbed their luggage. Dee picked up her two heavy bags and began struggling as previously. Then they proceeded to the car rental place.
"May I help you with that?" asked a random young man.
"Why, thank you. It's so pleasant to be in a city where a young man would help a lady out with her luggage. I guess chivalry is not dead, at least not in this city. Unlike some people." said Dee, giving the rest of the gang a dirty look
They arrived at the counter as Dennis and Mac handled the business.
"Would you like to purchase supplemental insurance." asked the car agent.
"No thank you. We know that scam. We'll just take the cars. Thank you very much." said Mac.
"What do you mean cars" said Frank angrily.
"Why the hell am I paying for more than one car."