Chapter 5

Frank's Day Off

2:45 PM

Monday

New Orleans

"Oh man, this is exiting. We get to see the real New Orleans, not the fake tourist version," said Charlie, "man this is going to be just like that show Treme"

Mac took the detour and left the interstate. They drove past what looked like abandoned warehouses and overgrown grass.

"I totally head of this. Trust me Mac. Its like this thing called a random walk. You just walk around randomly until you find cool authentic stuff. Not all that tourist bullshit." said Charlie

Mac took several random turns driving around until they got to a large, long building, filled with pedestrians. The parked on the curb, looked around, and finally realized that they're at a place called 'The Convention Center.'

"Oh my God, I think we should go in." said Mac

"Well, I don't know. Dude, it does look kind of touristy." said Charlie

"Dude. You did say that it was a random walk. I mean if thats where we ended up, then it is what it is." said Mac

"Well, yeah, ok then. I guess we could check it out. But I am just saying." said Charlie

"Ok, well, then its settled." said Mac

"Dude, I don't think we can park here though. And I didn't see any parking spots anywhere." said Charlie, with concern

"Huh. What, whe-. What's happening. Where are we." said Frank from the back seat, as he wakes up.

"Ok, Frank. Maybe you can park somewheres. We took a little detour." said Charlie

"Huh." said Frank

With some arguing and talking over each other, Mac and Charlie explained to Frank what was happening.

"I am not going anywhere with you guys. I am too old for this walking shit." said Frank

"So you just going to stay in the car. Well ok then, but at least crack the window open cause I heard that the heat can kill you, especially if you fall asleep in the car." said Charlie

"Oh My God. Dude, I got it." said Mac excitedly.

"Frank, why don't you drive around the city for a while. Then after we're all done, you can just pick us up." continued Mac

"Thats a great idea Mac. Me and Mac will randomly walk around and Frank, you just randomly drive around the city. That way we all get to see the real city." said Charlie

"Oh, well I hope we have some spending cash on us." said Mac

Both Mac and Charlie looked at Frank. Frank looked back. "What?" said Frank

"Oh, ok." said Frank as handed then his credit card and took the keys. He then sternly said "Don't lose it."

Mac and Charlie got out of the car and headed for the Convention Center while Frank got to the front of the car and started his adventure. He took a swig of whiskey from his drove off.

"See Charlie. That's how a good leader like me does things. He puts trust in the people under him to gain their respect." said Mac proudly

"Man, I know right. If Dennis was here, theres like no way he'd let Frank drive. Man, he's been way too cranky lately, even for him" said Charlie

Frank drove half-senile / half-sleep deprived, swerving down the lanes barely avoiding hitting idiot tourists jaywalking without a care in the world. A mule and a carriage for tourists drove ahead, taking up half a lane slowing down traffic. Frank slammed on his brakes, barely avoiding hitting the cart. He then swerved around the mule, scaring it a bit; while encroaching onto the next lane. A nearby car swerved away from Frank, blowing his horn at him. Frank continued driving, making several random turns, ignoring "No Turn on Red" signs while make a right. He almost hit a pedestrian while making a left on a "No Left Turn's" signs.

"Shit, I am getting hungry" thought Frank, as he pulled up to random convenience store and got out.

Frank looked around. He saw what looked like a court house across the street. He saw a construction site nearby.

"You know what, maybe I should walk around a bit." thought Frank.

Frank then proceeded to walk off and went down the sidewalk. He eventually ran into a small family owned fast food place.

"Hym, perhaps I can get me a some tasty local food." thought Frank as he looked at the menu.

"Catfish platter, comes with french fries and a fried potato. Works for me." through Frank as he made his order and enjoyed his meal. "God damn this is pretty good." thought Frank. Once he was done, he walked back making his way back to the car. "Oh shit" thought Frank, as he realized that his car has a boot on it.

"Oh God damn it. God damnit" said Frank. "oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute." thought Frank for a second. "I remember now."

For whatever odd reason, Frank has decided to pack his car boot remover for the trip when packing random crap into his suitcase while Dennis was on his case about packing unneeded things. Frank remembered that he still has his luggage in the backseat, along with the boot remover. Thinking quickly on his feet, Frank opened his trunk and got to work.

"Hey, hey, bullshit-asshole. What you doing." said a young Indian man.

Frank flipped him the bird as the boot came off and he threw it to the ground and made his way back to the car.

"And you know what, screw that, I am keeping the boot as well." said Frank as he got out of the car and took the removed boot and drove off.

"Pita, pita!" yelled the Indian man at his father, who owned the convenience store.

"My father will catch you man. Man, when he catch you, he will say bullshit-asshole, and then he will kick your ass man." yelled the Indian man as Frank sped off laughing, flipping him off.

Driving a bit more around, Frank eventually wound up by the WW2 History Museum. "Meh, museums suck, but his one might be cool. Maybe I should go check it out." thought Frank.

Frank went around enjoying himself, looking at cool WW2 relics until he saw several nerdy men tossing various shaped dice.

"What is going on here." asked Frank.

"Oh, we're playing a war game." pointing to a miniature map, with random hills, lines, toy soldiers and tanks. The young man then explained the rules of the game. "Well, we're just ending our game so we can start a new one."

"Hym" Frank thought. "I had some NAZI relatives. I should probably play as them. Being the bad guy is more fun anyway." thought Frank.

The game started, and Frank made his moves. For a drunk, senile guy, Frank was going pretty well. After about an hour worth of play, Frank's team won 2 and lost 3 games. "Man, that was fun, but I guess I got to get going." said Frank

"Yeah, us too." said the young men and they all left.

Frank got into his car, driving off continuing his random adventure. "Oh shit, its the Super Dome. Maybe I'll come here later this year for an away Eagle's game. I bet that would be fun." thought Frank as he continued driving.

Frank suddenly saw a white flash. "What the fuck was that." thought Frank as he looked up into the sky. "Not a single cloud in the sky. Man, that must be that crazy New Orleans weather I've been hearing about" as his phone suddenly rang.

"Frank, where the hell are you. We are ready to get picked up. We're on Bourbon Street." said Charlie.

"I am on, um, Loyola Street." said Frank looking around at the street signs.

"Ok, well, I am sure you know how to use the GPS Frank. Just come pick us up." said Charlie

*peep peep* Frank's phone 'low battery' warning came on.

"Um, guys, I only have 15% left on my batty. I'll figure something out." said Frank as he hanged up.

Frank continued randomly driving around until he ran into a Daiquiri shop.

"Holy shit, they just let you buy booze through a drive-through." thought Frank as he ordered his drink large.

Frank received a large plastic cup with his drink along with his change and a straw. As he unwrapped his straw and put into his drink, Frank drove off sipping on his Daiquiri.