Getting back to the real world turned out to be kind of a pain in the ass. Nona was certain that there was probably some fancy clinical term for it. But as far as she was concerned, it was simple – everyone was exhausted. Their first day back at school, all five of the Edwards Island survivors looked like hell, with bags under their eyes the size of chihuahuas.

She and Clarissa were currently pretending to eat lunch outside. One of the things that they did find great joy in was the sight of the sun. Night time was the enemy, and the sun meant safety. Both girls had food sitting in front of them that they were at least able to pick at so they didn't end up starving themselves.

"Glad to see I'm not the only one having a tough transition back to normal life~" Both girls looked up and saw Alex approaching their table, taking a seat and removing her lunch. No doubt to pick at it pitifully like the other two. "I don't know about you guys, but sleep has been impossible..."

Clarissa sighed pitifully and popped a small piece of sandwich into her mouth. "I have this old radio from when I was younger. The other night, I smashed the goddamn thing to pieces because I was sure it was going to turn on without warning and start spitting code phrases at me or something..."

"Yeah, the nightmares are pretty awful..." Nona mused, making her third attempt to actually eat the apple she'd went to all the trouble of bringing with her.

Alex didn't even seem to be bothering with food at the moment. She at least brought a lunch for the sake of appearances, but she hadn't even opened the little paper bag yet. "I actually had kind of an idea. Um, I think it could be easier for us if we felt safer when we went to bed. What if we had a – god, I can't believe I'm going to even say this – a slumber party? Like, a literal one."

Clarissa had become a lot nicer in the days since they got back from the island. But it still slipped out now and then. "Christ, are we back in the seventh grade? Come on, Alex, you can't be serious..." It was strange to have seen the transitions Clarissa made from cool girl to bitch to oddly sweet girl who doesn't know how to deal with her desire to be kind. You could hear in her tone that she wanted to investigate Alex's idea, but she didn't have the softer lingo down yet, just the softer voice.

"Well...! O-Okay, so... My parents are going out of town for the weekend, and Ren is stealing Jonas to go on some kind of bros' weekend, I think for kinda the same reason. And... A-And I guess I'm just... afraid to be alone, alright? So I thought it might be nice to hang out with you guys and drink and get some real food and maybe have an actual decent sleep for the first time since we got back!" She groaned, her forehead slumping down against the table.

She could see Clarissa's face softening, and Nona was sure hers was too now. Alex needed them, and they needed her. "Hey, sorry... I think maybe you're right. That could be really healthy for all of us. So... Friday at 8?"

So Friday at 8.

Even after Alex finally revealed just how badly she needed to have people around, it wasn't really made obvious to the other girls until they showed up to her house where there was a spread of delicious food and even a few bottles of carefully pilfered alcohol. Despite days and days of being unable to properly eat or really even think, they somehow found themselves with full bellies and fuzzy brains as they settled onto Alex's bed to hang out and talk until they allowed themselves to pass out.

"Okay, tell me if I'm being a total asshole for asking this question..." Well, Alex was already setting this up for being an embarrassing start to things. "How are the two of you doing? I mean... N-No, I mean... like... as... the two of you. Are you a thing? Or just... feeling stuff out?"

Nona could feel Clarissa bumping shoulders with her and they shared an incredibly stupid, girly laugh. "We haven't. Like, it's nothing official. There was just a lot going on and. Um. Clarissa? Bail me out here?"

The redhead laughed more and nudged her again. "Eventually. But I'm sure you can understand, after Mike, I'm just being careful with... stuff." Clarissa's eyes narrowed and her face burned. It was an odd face, no doubt aided by the alcohol in her system. "While we're on the topic of awkward subjects. I seem to recall a certain someone had a very. Interesting. Answer to a game of Truth or Slap. So c'mon, out with it!"

Okay, well, now everyone was blushing and looking kind of awkward and kind of intrigued. Alex shifted some strands of her hair up behind her ear, unable to make eye contact with either one of them. "Out with what?"

Clarissa was smiling at least, looking at Alex with a kind of playful cruelty. "You said that you would marry Nona. My Nona!"

"Yeah!" Nona was finally catching on to where she was going with this. Sort of, at least. "And that you would fuck Clarissa! My Rissa!"

"So what's the big idea? Were you just... saying that so you could get out of the game faster?"

The image of pure distress and fear on the poor girl's face was delightful, though Nona did feel a little guilty for playing up this teasing so much. But she did finally manage to squeak out a reply. "Well obviously I meant it! It was truth or slap, I wasn't going to lie! I-I just... I don't know, Nona, you're super cute and I honestly do have a thing for quiet girls. And... A-And Clarissa, it's just like you said. Look at you! Tall, confident, gorgeous hair, piercing eyes..." Her thoughts seemed to be getting away from her and she buried her face in a nearby pillow, letting out a primal guttural groan of frustration. "Fuck, I shouldn't have taken that last shot of whiskey. It makes me too honest..."

Okay, yeah, now she was starting to actually feel kinda bad. And also maybe she was also feeling curious, or confused, or something. "Well, now I don't know which one of us should feel more jealous and threatened..."

Clarissa shrugged, looking embarrassed but otherwise clear-headed. "Seems to me neither of us has to be worried about anything. Our Alex here is a goddamn hero and super adorable to boot. And frankly, I'm pretty sure the two of you could start making out and I wouldn't be upset."

Nona's head snapped up, as did Alex's, and both girls stared at Clarissa for a moment or two. Then, cautiously, both gazes drifted toward each other, and quickly away. "You're such a weirdo, sweetie, what's gotten into you!" To Nona's surprise, Clarissa didn't even bother to give her an answer, she just looked at her smugly before leaning over to where Alex was seated, guiding her face away from where it was buried in the pillow. With practiced care she held Alex's stunned face and pulled her into a long, slow kiss. Nona could only sit there and stare in disbelief – disbelief that this was happening, but also disbelief that it was true, she wasn't angry, she wasn't upset. Mostly, Nona was just kind of... intrigued. This evening just kept getting weirder.

And now Alex was the one to push her luck, leaning in Nona's direction. Her heart was thumping in her chest, so hard she could barely hear anything except the quickening rhythm. Their lips met and she immediately understood why Clarissa seemed to want her to try it too. Kissing Clarissa was like... coming home again, or sitting in front of a warm fire. But kissing Alex was like random walks through the woods at one in the morning, reading through an aged diary written by an explorer. It was like kissing a tesla coil. She didn't want it to end.

Obviously it had to sooner or later. She sat back and hugged her pillow against her chest. For all the thoughts swarming through her head, the one that finally broke through was a bit of a surprise. "...I can't do this anymore." Without warning, she got up from Alex's bed and walked away, trying to find some place in the house she could just get away from this and hide. She eventually ended up in a comfy spot on the couch in the living room where she curled up, hugging the pillow she'd brought with her.

After everything on the island, Nona really thought she would be able to get over herself and her fears. But every time she got something she wanted, there was this automatic reaction throughout her entire body that made her feel ill. Even when you disagreed with, say, certain family members 100%, you couldn't always eliminate their voices from your mind or the terrible things you knew they would say to you. She could actually shut it out when it was just her and Clarissa, because it was a decade and a half into the new millennium and gay pride was in high supply.

Then she had to discover the hard way that her new breaking point existed at the instant that she and her not-quite-girlfriend were kissing another girl and thoroughly enjoying the experience. It was that moment of wondering consciously if it was possible that a girl could actually date two girls at once without complications or trouble. Because if she was nervous about coming out to her family as gay, how much more horrifying to imagine what would happen if they ever discovered that she was also some kind of bigamist.

So she ran way. The thoughts had begun to overwhelm her and she didn't want to burden two amazing people with her ridiculous fears. Nona could figure it out herself and then get back them. Or at least that was what she wanted to do. Until she felt Clarissa and Alex take a seat on either side of her, wrapping arms around her. Immediately she broke down into soft crying, at which point both of them cooed and hugged her and wiped at her eyes and brushed her hair and asked her what was wrong. Much further down the line, Clarissa would admit that this was the moment she understood that Alex really did care for Nona in a way no one expected.

There was a good hour or so of real-ass conversation after that, no longer filled with flirtation and teasing. They talked about what they wanted, what they hoped for, what they were terrified of. The girls talked about labels and how willing they were to be 'out' and a lot of other really scary stuff.

Somewhere in all the stuff that happened, the girls actually found themselves exhausted – which was sort of the point of the sleepover in the first place. So they piled onto Alex's bed, all snuggling up together and leaving thoughts of radios and ghosts and what-ifs for another day. The bed was warm and welcoming and none of them had trouble sleeping in each others' arms.