They spent their days in Beth's room listening to music. She got Randall hip to all the new jams, and even some older jams he hadn't really heard of before; she didn't make him feel incompetent or dumb because he had never heard jodeci or Nas...
Sure, he knew Michael Jackson. But everyone knew Michael Jackson.
Randall liked spending time with Beth; he loved it, actually. She was smart, and funny, and almost as much of a nerd as he was... just way cooler. She liked how corny he was; she liked his jokes. When they would listen to music she would dance around the room and she didn't care that Randall watched; in fact, she kind of liked it.
She always had a book to read, rather it was for pleasure or for school; he liked when Beth would read because she would let him lay under her while she played with his hair, it calmed him in a way he didn't know possible. He would bring his homework to her room and study there. Back in high school, Randall would stress about homework and papers. He would have panic attacks about being the best and getting the highest grades… but when he was with Beth he was relaxed.
They spent almost every moment together, in the morning Randall would walk to Beth's room and walk her to her first class of the day, then they'd go to lunch together, hang out in the quad together and would go to her room and hang out. Last weekend he accompanied her and a few of her friends to the movies and while they were in the theater him and Beth held hands in the theater. He wanted to know how it would be to take Beth out; just the two of them.
Today was the day he would ask her. It was the only thing that had been on his mind all week, he couldn't even focus on the science paper he had to write or the complicated math equations that his professor wanted done by Friday. He hadn't been able to focus on much of anything except one thing; asking Beth on a date.
In theory, it was simple. Just ask her out, the two had hung out enough. It should be easy. But his brain wouldn't let it be easy and his heart was racing. Randall had no idea how to ask a girl out, let alone a girl like Beth. What if she shot him down? What if she only liked him as a friend? What if she laughed? What if she just flat out said no with no kind of explanation?
Randall couldn't handle that kind of rejection. Not from her.
He sat on Beth's bed, watching her write her English essay at her desk. She kept writing and erasing, writing and erasing, trying to put together the perfect sentence. He enjoyed watching Beth, she wasn't as much of a perfectionist as him; but she still liked to put her best forward.
"What is it, Randall?" He chuckles nervously.
"What?"
"You've been staring at me for like 30 minutes. And I can feel your anxiety a mile away. And honestly, you're anxiety is giving me anxiety and I'm already killing myself over here." She chuckles
"Oh..." he hadn't realized he had been looking for that long.
"What do you want?" Beth asked sweetly. "Seriously, my brain needs a break." She said turning around and giving him her undivided attention.
"I like hanging out with you..." Beth nods,
"Yeah I do too," she smiles, "You're dope forreal." Randall grinned, he knew that was a good compliment. "And funny."
"Yes, yeah- you're dope too." Beth laughed, "I mean we have fun in here... and when you let me walk you to class or when we eat together in the cafeteria with your friends and my friends"
Beth nods, waiting for his point. "And it was fun when we all went to the movies... But I think we would have fun with... I don't know-just you and me... maybe?" Randall gets out and Beth raises an eyebrow.
"Just... me and you?" Randall nods, "We hang out just me and you all the time."
"Well yeah, but not in public. Like dinner and a movie. Or we could do something else- we could do whatever you want." Beth looks up at Randall,
"Like a date?" This makes him blush.
"Um yeah... yeah, Beth, exactly like a date- I want to take you on a date." He stumbles over his words like his tongue doesn't work. "If that's not too much to ask…" Beth keeps her eyes on Randall, trying to read him. She's going to say yes, she could never turn Randall down because he's way too sweet. But she likes to see him sweat, she likes to see the clocks in his brain spinning so fast it was making him dizzy. She thought it was kind of funny, the way Randall spazzed out.
"You can take me out," She grins, giving him a look of reassurance. "Saturday night? I should have made a dent in all these assignments and papers by then." Randall smiles brightly,
"Ok, ok, Saturday night.
Saturday Night.
This was his chance to prove himself to Beth. He wanted to show her a good time- the perfect time. He wanted her to like him as much as he liked her. He didn't want to seem boring, so he sweated all the way to Beth's door.
It's ridiculous; to still be this nervous around her after a month. But he can't help it.
Randall knocks on her door, then wipes his palms off on his dress pants. It took him an hour to find something to wear; and he went back and fourth with Kevin on rather or not jeans were too laid back for this event. Kevin thought jeans were fine, Randall didn't think they were good enough. So, he settled on black dress pants and a white button down.
When Beth answered the door he literally almost fainted.
She had on a red velvet dress with black stockings and her braids were up in a bun. All he could do was grin.
"Hey," She smiled looking him over, "You look like a waiter." She laughs and Randall blushes,
"I wanted to look nice-"
"You do look nice. Like a very nice waiter." She gives him a playful grin. "So are we walking tonight or-"
"No, no my brother let me use his car. So… we're mobile. On wheels. We have a car."
"Gotcha." Beth Smiles. "That's good though because I would have had to take these heels off." Randall can't hear her though because he's too busy staring at her.
"You look pretty. Really pretty." Randall points out. "Like sunset pretty, like… the sky when you're out in the woods and you can see all the stars pretty…like 'damn' pretty." It was Beth's turn to blush now and she did. She blushed harder than she ever thought was possible.
"Uh, thanks."
"You deserve to be told that every day." Her blush got deeper, and she hid her face.
"Randall-"
"I'm sorry," He smiles, "You're just… gorgeous. Literally."
"Shut up." She giggles as they start walking. "What do you have planned for us tonight?"
"You'll have to wait and find out."
/
"Are you hungry?" Randall asks and Beth shrugs,
"Not really, not right now. Why?"
"So dinner can wait." Randall grins, he turns right at the next corner and pulls into a parking lot with a few other cars.
When they get out Beth is grinning from ear to ear.
There was a gleam in her eye when she found a book she liked. There was something about the way Beth would take off her shoes when she really got into a book. She would sit quietly somewhere on campus, legs folded Indian style with her nose in the book. Or if she were at the campus cafe she would sit with a cup of coffee in the back of the shop and trace the words with her fingers as she read. And she hated when people-it was always a boy- would interrupt her book. Except Randall. If Randall were around she would tell him all about the book and read him a chapter or two. Because Randall wasn't like other guys. He wouldn't try and distract her from her book, he would ask her about the book and how far she's gotten. He would go and get her a bagel to eat while she read and he would sit and do math for fun.
They had an understanding. Which is why he brought her here.
"Randall…" She says, "A book store?"
"Well… I saw that long list of books you've been meaning to get so I figured we could spend an hour in here… looking at books and talking? And you said you hadn't been able to visit any local bookstores because they were all too far so…" Randall pauses, "If you think it's lame then we can-"
"It's thoughtful. Really thoughtful and sweet. You're so thoughtful and sweet." She's smiling so bright, "This is really cute." She takes her hand and places it on Randall's cheek, stroking him there gently before dragging it down until her hand is linking with his. Beth leads the way.
"I love bookstores and libraries. There perfect because there's so many books to choose from! Like… if you like fiction there's a whole section dedicated to specifically that, or poetry, or documentations and history, and like… the African American section is always dope… you can read about black history or any kind of history. And the kids section, I love the kids section because I always find books for my little cousins and I used to read to them when I was home and- "Beth stops, "I'm sorry." She blushes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know you probably don't actually care- "Randall shakes his head,
"It's cool… It's cute, that you're so into books." Beth smiles as she heads towards the fiction section and starts to hand Randall book after book. "Are you going to read all these right now?"
"No… but I can't just pass them up. I read the first few pages and if I like it I can order it from the library and read it later." She places book on top of book on top of book and Randall smiles at how excited she is.
They sat on a couch made for two in the back of the book store, well, Randall sat on the couch, Beth was on the floor surrounded by 10 other books and a book of poetry in her lap. Randall admired her as she read each page carefully, looking for a poem that stood out to her. "Oh, here's one." She started,
"I do not know what it is to live a balanced life.
When I am sad
I don't cry I pour
When I am happy
I don't smile I glow
When I am angry
I don't yell I burn
The good thing about feeling in extreme is
When I love I give them wings
But perhaps that isn't
Such a good thing cause
The always tend to leave
And you should see me
When my heart is broken
I don't grieve
I shatter" Randall loved hearing Beth read to him, sure, he knew how to read. But he preferred to listen to her. He liked her voice, it was sweet like candy and velvet soft. Beth had the kind of voice he would love to hear all day, everyday, the kind of voice that drew him in.
"That sounds like me." He says, "Can I hear another? I liked that one." Beth grins and turns a few more pages over, stopping and staring at one for a little longer than the others. Than she turns the pages, "No, read that one."
"I can't." She says softly,
"C'mon, you liked it. Read it. Please?" Randall asked and Beth sighed,
"She speaks to me fondly of passions and talents,
Guitars and stars,
Then stops short
And apologizes for speaking at all
All because somewhere in her life
Someone she loved broke her heart
By ignoring her beautiful words
And telling her to shut up
Keep it down
Nobody cares…" She stops and closes the book, not reading the last few lines. She places the book down and reaches to pick up another one. "I think I'll like this one-"
"Why didn't you want to read it?" Randall asks. "Has anyone ever... made you feel like that?" There was silence when Randall asked that. Like Beth was trying to think of the right answer.
"Sometimes I talk too much too." She says with a forced chuckle. Like she's trying to lighten up the conversation. "So I have to remind myself that not everyone cares about…" Beth stops, "It's not a big deal though- "
"Don't say that." Randall tells her softly. He slides down to the floor so that he is next to her. "I'll always care." He says. "You'll always be able to tell me anything. Talk to me about anything. I'll never want you to stop because I'll always care about what you have to say." He watches as her eyes light up, a small smile appearing on her face as she opens her mouth to speak. "I know how it feels when people don't listen and don't care."
"You always remember that too. I care." It's a quiet moment that they must take in. Realizing that they truly appreciate each other, and maybe- just maybe they have found someone to be themselves with. Randall picks the book up and starts to look through it.
"I like this one," Randall clears his throat and starts, "Have you ever loved a rose? And watched her slowly bloom? And as her petals unfold, you grew drunk on her perfume? Have you ever seen her dance? Her leaves all wet with dew, and quivered with a new romance- the wind, he loved her too. Have you ever longed for her? On nights that go on and on. For now, her face is a blur, like a memory kept too long. Have you ever loved a rose? And bled against her thorns? And swear each night to let her go then loved her more by dawn." Beth can feel her cheeks getting hot and turning red.
"Why'd you pick that one?" She asks quietly,
"It reminds me of you." She nods her head and scoots over, closer to Randall. In his lap close. She wraps her arms around him and rest her head on his broad shoulder.
"Read another one that reminds me you of me." Randall is a little frozen from shock, he's never had a girl sit on his lap before. But he lets his arms wrap around Beth snugly and he looks through the pages. "You were you, and I was I, we were two, before our time. I was yours before I knew, and you have always been mines too."
They sit there for a while, reading poems to each other and talking before they decide to put their books away and leave. "I was going to buy you a book... any book of your choice." Beth goes through the stack of books, finding the book of poems at the bottom.
"I want this one" Randall smiles and nods. "It can be like… our book." She grins
/
The night was still young; it was only around 8:30 and as he listened to Beth sing a long to a Lauryn Hill song on the radio, his heart began to palpitate. She sang softly, making sure not to be louder than the radio but Randall wanted to hear her. So he concentrated on the beautiful hum of her vocals.
"You should sing more often." He says to her and Beth laughs,
"Boy please, I can't sing worth a damn."
"I like it." He shrugs, and she grows quiet, "C'mon... I don't want you to stop." Her cheeks turn red and she lets out a long breath.
"I can't sing now because you're listening!"
"Fine, I'll sing." He smiles, and Beth's eyes grow wide. "See I don't need no alcohol; your love makes me feel 10 feet tall, cause nothing even matters- at all." Beth starts laughing and reaches over to place her hand over Randall's mouth.
"Ok, ok, stop. I'll do the singing from now on." She giggles, and Randall laughs too. He hoped that time would move as slow as molasses drips. Because he wanted to spend every waking hour with Beth. He wanted to hear her every thought, her every desire. He wanted to know what it was that made her tick, what made her cry and what made her laugh.
God did he like her laugh and he wanted to hear every type she had.
She was the girl that he never thought he'd meet, the girl he never dreamed would be his. But there she was, perfect; and just for him. He hoped.
Randall started to wonder who made her think that she shouldn't express herself or what she thought. What jerk made Beth believe that her voice shouldn't be heard.
His next stop was a small reggae hip hop club just a few blocks from the book store, since she liked dancing as much as she liked books. He knew Beth didn't really like parties, at lease not campus frat parties, but maybe a dance club would be different. They waited in line for 10 minutes before they got inside and it looked like any other club. A bar on one side, tables and chairs on the other, and a large dance floor in the middle. Randall got nervous, maybe this wasn't Beth's scene and she probably hated it here. "We can leave if you want." Beth shrugged,
"After I dance." There weren't a lot of people in the club but everyone was dancing. Randall nodded, going to find a table and Beth laughed, "No," she said, "Dance with me?" It wasn't really a question, Beth takes his hand and leads him through the crowd and to the middle of the dance floor. She wraps her arms around his neck and begins to move her hips to the beat. Randall doesn't know what to do with his hands so he leaves them at his sides.
"I was thinking you could dance and I could watch like we do in your room." Beth gives him sultry look.
"As much as I love when you watch me," she grins, "while we're here... if you don't dance with me someone else will. And I want to dance with you."
"I don't know how to dance."
"Just...", Beth places his hands on her hips, "follow my lead."
Beth begins to roll her hips, causing Randall to tense. "Loosen up," she smiles and turns around, letting her backside rest against his front. The lights were dimmed, it was dark, and he couldn't see much except the red and blue lights they had shining. But he could feel everything, every part of Beth grinding against him.
Randall didn't have many sexual experiences, unless you counted the time Kathryn Hobs French kissed him on the playground in 5th grade- which was by surprise and her friends dared her- but that was it. No, this was his first sexual experience; and he didn't know how to handle it. He always got this feeling when he would watch Beth dance in her room, a hot feeling, but that was nothing compared to how he felt right now. He felt aroused and he began to wonder if Beth knew what she was doing.
But he told himself to stay cool and keep his hands at a safe distance. Maybe she wouldn't mind if they slipped down a few more inches-no! He couldn't do that. He kept his hands on her hips, but his grip tightened. When her movements slow down- just like the beat of the music- Randall found himself blushing furiously. She has to know what she's doing, she just has to. Beth was noticeably shorter than Randall but as she danced on him they fit perfectly together.
She lifts her arms up and links them around Randall's neck and begins to sway her hips back and forth, making Randall let out a small groan. He has to control himself. She has the perfect size ass-not too small and not too big- it's the perfect shape too. Beth leans back and lets her shoulders press into his chest; giving Randall the perfect view of her. Her hips start to roll again and this time Randall does the same, rolling his hips in time with hers.
It's sexy, the whole thing is just sexy, and Randall feels like he might explode. Explode from having Beth so close to him in such an intimate way, explode from sexual tension, explode from the feeling of her finger tips on the back of his neck.
Beth can feel Randall's heavy breathing on her skin. Of course she knows what's she doing, she can feel Randall getting excited, he's sweating; and it's not from how hot it is in the club. But she likes doing this to him, making him feel this way. But to be honest he made her feel some kind of way too, she was just better at hiding it.
The music dies down and a different song comes on but she stops, knowing Randall couldn't handle another song with her. Beth leads him off the dance floor and out of the club for some air. "You're not so bad." Beth says looking up at Randall. She lets her fingers snake through his, smiling at how much bigger his hands are.
"You were doing all the dancing." He laughs nervously and Beth chuckles,
"You were sweating more than I was though." She says softly and Randall freezes. "I'm just teasing... I like teasing you." She grins, "You're fun to play with."
"I can tell."
"This night has been... amazing. Like the best date ever."
"It's not over yet. I have to feed you." Randall smiles.
"So... do you always plan spectacular, interest driven dates or am I special?"
"You're special... and this is also my first real date." Beth's eyes grow wide,
"You've never gone on a date before?"
"I was really focused on school and my grades and science club... and karate. I was too scared to ask the girls in my high school out. They... didn't seem to like me that much. You know, dating a black guy was cool but not black guys like me. They wanted the thug, gangster rapping kind of black boyfriend. Not the science, math loving nervous wreak like me type."
"Who wouldn't like you? You're amazing."
"You'd be surprised..." Beth nods in understanding,
"It's because you're different... you're a different type of guy and not everyone will understand it. Not every girl will like it but... I do." Beth sighs, "I've dated the thug type before and they're nothing special." Randall grins, "But anyway what did you want to be when you grew up… when you were a kid?" Beth asked lightly grabbing Randall's hand.
"A mad scientist." He smiles, and she laughs, "Like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde mad scientist. I just thought it was cool."
"That doesn't surprise me,"
"How about you?"
"A mermaid. Definitely a mermaid. I wanted to be one of Ariel's sisters… but the sister from her dad's affair with a black mermaid." She laughs and Randall chuckles.
"That's so scandalous."
/
The restaurant was too crowded and the wait would be an hour or longer. "I'm sorry, i really wanted to bring you here..."
"Randall... I didn't really have a taste for food anyway." Beth shrugged, "But ice cream would be so good right now."
"Ice cream?"
"Take me to Dairy Queen's" she smiles and Randall nods,
"Ok, ok there's one down the street I think."
/
The Park was dimly lit from the street lights and silent. It was a nice park not too far from campus, with a trail for bike riding and a basketball court and little pond for ducks. It was cute. Randall took in the settings as they walk in comfortable silence as Beth eats her cookies and cream.
"It's good to know you like ice cream. I love it too."
"Um yeah, it's like my favorite dairy product." She smiles,
"So..." Randall tries, "Are you... happy to be on campus? Like some people really miss Home... I like it here because I've never seen so many black people" he laughs and so does Beth,
"No, I love it on campus. I can get some damn privacy." Randall laughs again,
"What do you mean?"
"There were a lot of us in my house... uncles, cousins, me and my 3 sisters, my mom, my dad, it was just...it's fun when you're a kid. But the older you get it's just... crowded."
"I'm sorry... that sounds hectic."
"Yeah try studying in my house. But I guess it helped me be able to function with noise around." She grins, "How about you? It couldn't have been all bad in your house."
"No, no... I just always felt like I was on the outside looking in... like there was a racial wall I could never get passed. But my parents are great, my sister is great, my brother... hates me."
"I'm sure he doesn't."
"That's how it feels sometimes. Like it was always a burden; having me around."
"Well tell me more about your parent," she smiles, "They have to be amazing to have raised such a gentlemen like you." Randall blushes,
"You think I'm a gentlemen."
"Anytime i dance on a guy and he has enough self control to not grab my ass... that's the only explanation."
"They just always taught respect and love. My mom and I are close, really close. She's like my rock, whenever I felt out of place she would bring me back and let me know I was wanted, my father always kept me on track... encouraged every ability I had. My father he died last year." Beth looks at Randall, not knowing what to say except,
"I'm sorry,how-"
"I don't want to talk about it." He says quietly, Beth nods and reaches out, taking Randall's hand.
"If you ever do want to talk... I'm here." She whispers. "Me and my dad used to eat ice cream together at 3 am." She smiles and so does Randall. "It was the only quality alone time we could have. It was like an unspoken routine. He's get up and go down to the kitchen and I'd meet him there and he's have the biggest tub of cookies and cream ice cream waiting for me." She grins, "I always kind of felt looked passed...I'm a younger middle sister so i wasn't the spoiled brat like my little sister, Alicia. And I wasn't the mature over achievers like Renae and Nicole. I was just Beth and I was just there. But at 3 am my dad gave me all his time and he listened to everything. Everything about school, about my friends. There was nothing I couldn't tell him." She says looking down at her ice cream. "Dads are always the best." Randall nods,
"What about your mom?"
"We're close. Like best friends, you get older and learn how to split your time so now Renae has graduated from NYU and Nicole is a senior here but now we're all like a little gang. Alicia is a senior in high school."
"I wish me and Kevin were close."
"Maybe one day." Randall nods, not sure if that'll ever happen. "Quick, favorite ice cream flavor."
"Vanilla. Nice and simple. You can't go wrong."
/
He walks her down to her room and stuffs his hands in his pockets. He's nervous again.
"Tomorrow's Sunday... my roommates leaving so maybe you should come over? We can watch some tv, study a little? I can read you some more poems." Beth grins, giving Randall a knowing look.
"That's be great, I'll come over around 10- unless that's too early-"
"10 is fine, Randall." She gets her door open, then wraps he arms around his neck and gives him a hug. "I had a great time and thanks for my book." Randall gives her a silly smile,
"Your welcome... have a good night." Randall says, giving Beth a hand shake before he starts to leave. Beth laughs and goes into her room but stops when Randall calls out, "I was hoping I could call you when I get to my room?"
"I'll be waiting." She smiles closing her door.